Interesting Times, by GirlX2

Chapter Three

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The three men sat awkwardly in the bedroom, Marshall seated as far away from Barney as he could get. Barney was sitting in Ted's hand.

"What do we do now?" He asked.

"I…I could go out and buy some doll clothes." Marshall desperately wanted to leave.

"That sounds good. I can call the 1-800 number the TV keeps flashing to report this." Ted said. "There might be something we're supposed to do. Somewhere we've gotta go so Barney can get examined."

Barney flinched. "I don't want anyone touching me."

"I'll be there the whole time, Barney. I promise."

Barney swallowed the thick lump in his throat. "Can't we just give them my name and hang up?"

"No. What if there's a way to fix this?" Ted asked. "There might be a cure or something."

Barney didn't dare to hope.

"I'll get some clothes. You call the number." Marshall fled, biting back his half-assed apologies. Nothing he could say would make Barney feel better. Best to just…go.

After Marshall left Barney snuggled closer to Ted's fingers, seeking both warmth and comfort. "Ted…Thank you."

"No problem, bro."

"No, not just for…well…I mean…you're treating me like a person. I'm not a toy to you." He stumbled over the word 'toy'. "And…out there, that's what I will be. To everyone."

"Marshall…he just got excited. You know how he can be." Ted sighed. "Not everyone will react like that."

"Okay." Barney didn't sound convinced.

The knock at the door startled both men. Ted's fingers curled protectively around his tiny friend.

"Ted? Open up, it's Robin and Lilly!" Lilly called, sounding worried. "Marshall called us."

"Oh, NO." Barney looked up at Ted. "You can't let them in!"

"Barney, what else am I supposed to do?" Ted hurried towards the door. "They'll find out sooner or later."

"But—but-"

Barney's protests fell on deaf ears at Ted opened the door. The two women stood there, large as life, and worried.

Ted held Barney behind his back. "Guys, keep it down."

Lilly's eyes went wide. "It's true? Barney's six inches tall?"

"Not exactly." Ted sighed and brought his hand around. Barney was clutching his index finger with both hands. "He shrank some more."

Robin gasped. "Oh…God. I saw on the news, but I didn't think…oh, Barney!"

Barney's cheeks grew red. The woman he loved was seeing him helpless, and practically naked. Not good.

"He's adorable!" Lilly squeaked.

"Are you insane?" Ted asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, but he is." Lilly peered closely at her friend. "How do you feel?"

"Like a science project." Barney muttered.

"His voice is all squeaky!"

"So's yours." Robin rolled her eyes. She'd never been one for cutesy stuff. "Barney, are you okay? Is there anything we can do?"

"No, I-" Barney's sentence ended abruptly in a squeak of terror as Robin's giant hand reached out to pick him up.

"No!" Ted snatched his hand away. Barney was jostled violently against his fingers, but didn't particularly care.

"Ted, what—"

"He…he doesn't like being picked up."

"You're holding him."

"That's..different." Ted swallowed awkwardly. 'How the hell do I explain?'

Lilly understood. "Barney…is it okay if I hold you?"

Barney looked a bit bewildered at the request, but nodded. "Uh, sure Lil."

She held her palm flat next to Ted's. Barney walked across his friend's hands, feeling very weird.

"You're so light." Lilly whispered. "You were really six inches tall earlier?"

"Yeah." Barney nodded sadly at the memory. "I haven't gotten any smaller since, though. Ted thinks it was a one-time thing."

"I hope so, there'll be nothing left otherwise." Robin muttered this quietly, but Barney heard. He felt himself growing faint.

"Don't say things like that." Ted growled. "He's scared enough already."

Lilly looked at Ted quizzically. "What's there to be scared of? You're here, and Marshall…Where is Marshall?"

She felt the tiny man flinch.

"What did he do?" She asked Barney, quietly and calmly.

"N-nothing, it was nothing." Barney gulped. "He was just…a little excited. He kinda…grabbed me, then dropped me."

Robin and Lilly both looked horrified.

"I'm gonna kick his ass." Lilly growled.

"No, he feels awful already. He's gone out to buy me some clothes." Barney's heart wasn't in his words, but it was the right thing to say.

"Marshall's usually so gentle." Robin murmured. "He must have been really bowled over."

"Barney, I'm sorry. No wonder you don't want to be held." Lilly said. "I wouldn't either."

"Listen guys, I'm gonna call the 1-800 number on the news. If you two could stay with him while I do that, I'd appreciate it." Ted frowned as Barney shook his head and mouthed 'No!'. "It'll just be a minute."

"Yeah, no problem." Robin said. "Maybe you wanna hop in the shower too."

Ted was suddenly painfully aware of the face that he was still in his boxers. "Yeeeah. Good idea."

Barney watched in dismay as Ted left him in the care of the two women.

"…I don't suppose I could convince either one of you that flashing me is the only way to cheer me up?"

"Nope."

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A/N So glad to hear people like this! Every time a review e-mail shows up, it makes my day. :)