Interesting Times, By GirlX2

Chapter Six

o0o0o0o

"Nice job, Ted. This tastes relatively awesome."

"Only relatively?"

"Just because I'm scaled-down doesn't mean the awesome should be. This is only semi-awesome."

Ted sighed. "Barney, just eat your egg."

"I'm full."

"You barely touched it."

"Hey, I've got a stomach the size of…I have no idea, but I'm done." Barney stood up and strolled away from the saucer full of scrambled egg and bacon bits. "I'm gonna start arranging my furniture."

"Sure you don't want my help with that?"

"Ted, the Bro code clearly states that a Bro is only called in to move another Bro's most troublesome piece of furniture, be it a couch, futon, or water bed." Barney said seriously. "I'll handle everything else myself."

"Okay, but some of those pieces aren't built to your scale, so if you need help-"

"I've got it." Barney waved him off.

"Alright." Ted continued to eat, but kept his eyes on Barney.

Barney rolled his eyes. He might have been little, but he wasn't a little kid. What trouble did Ted think he'd get into arranging his furniture?

He studied a large, somewhat ugly chair. It was clearly sized for a Barbie doll; why had Marshall even bought it?

'Well, it's one of the only things that's actually made of fabric and padding instead of plastic.' Barney thought. He paused a moment to glance at Ted, who was suddenly interested in the TV, and climbed into the massive chair.

Ted looked at his friend, tried to bury a snort of laughter, and failed.

"It's comfortable, at least."

"Sorry, sorry. I know Marshall did the best he could." Ted said. Marshall, Lily, and Robin had left to get to their jobs; Marshall even promised to explain to Barney's bosses what had happened. They'd all be coming back that evening.

Barney got out of the chair and wandered about, inspecting the other things. There was a bed built for a larger doll (ten feet long, as far Barney was concerned), a few non-suit articles of clothing, a plastic table and chairs set at his scale, and a few other odds and ends that looked more suited to a Power Ranger's play set than a real person.

He didn't care. It was nice to have some things around he didn't have to look up at.

"Do we need to get you a dollhouse or something?"

"I'm not gonna spend my time in a dollhouse." Barney felt ill at the prospect.

"The open space doesn't bother you?"

"Sure, but not as much as that would." Barney shuddered. "A few pieces of doll furniture are fine, but that's it. Okay?"

"If you're sure."

"It's just so…girly." Barney flailed, trying to find a name to put to his discomfort. Girly wasn't precisely it, but it'd do for Ted.

"So, a dollhouse that wasn't girly would be okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, then, I guess the last thing Marshall bought should be just what we're looking for." Ted smiled and pulled a large package from under the table.

"The Transformazoid Tower?" Barney read doubtfully.

"Yeah, it's from this new kid's show. Definitely not girly."

"It's shaped like a T-Rex, so that's a plus…"

"I know, right?"

"…but it's also a huge hunk of plastic. Why not just stick me in a habbitrail and be done with it?"

Ted's face fell; he'd clearly been hoping Barney would love the T-Rex shaped command center.

"I'm sorry Ted, but I really, really don't want to live inside a toy."

"I get it. I guess I wouldn't either." Ted looked thoughtful. "Maybe I can make something that's less toy-ish. I've got some models of my buildings that are pretty realistic."

"Hey, yeah. That actually sounds pretty good." Barney perked up.

"Cool. I'll just have to run out to the store and…shit."

"Hm?"

"Well, if I'm going out, I've gotta take you with me."

Barney's fleeting sense of well-being evaporated. "I don't wanna go out there. Not like this."

"The shop will be closed by the time everyone else get's back here." Ted stood up and started looking for his shoes. "If I'm gonna do this, I need a lot of supplies."

"Can't you just wait a couple days?" Begging was imminent.

"Barney, listen; you're gonna have to go out at some point, especially if you want to make good on that whole 'Scoring a girl with Lilliputian's' challenge."

"But-"

"The sooner you go out, the faster it'll be over." Ted, finished dressing, stood over him. "If you want, I can keep you in my pocket so no one will see you."

"It'll…it'll be too loud!"

"What about the cotton ball earplugs you're wearing?"

Barney felt panic rising in his chest. "I…"

Ted debated silently with himself as Barney stammered out a litany of excuses. 'I'm doing this for him. It'll work out in the long run.'

He scooped Barney up and swept him into the pocket of his blazer, making sure it wasn't one the seatbelt would lay across. "It'll take 15 minutes, tops."

"Ted!" Barney's shout was indignant instead of terrified. A plus, the architect figured.

Ted hurried out of the apartment, trying to assure himself he'd made the right call.

Barney tried to find footing in the cloth, couldn't, and collapsed into a sitting position. Ted was taking the stairs quickly, if the monumental shaking was any indication.

Dull anger rose in Barney. 'So much for him respecting me enough not to just pick me up.'

He ruefully reviewed his mental checklist. Marshall, too big even at normal size to handle him. Lily, meaning well, but just unequipped to deal with the responsibility. And Robin…

'God, I miss Robin.' Barney leaned against his friend's chest mournfully. Until he was back to normal, if that EVER happened, Scherbatsky lost to him.

That left Ted, who was willing and able to accept the responsibility; a little too much so, apparently. It hadn't escaped Barney's notice that Ted's fabled fathering instincts were rearing up like mad.

Ted slid into his car. "Still doing okay?"

"Ye-es." Barney grumbled.

'He means well. They all mean well.'

This thought was less comforting than it should have been.

o0o0o0o

A/N What with Christmas and my TWO new plays (I'm gonna be a Bad Idea Bear in a local production of Avenue Q!) the updates will be a little slower than they've been. Sorry about that. Also, there's my obligatory Dr. Horrible reference. Enjoy.