Interesting Times, by GirlX2

Chapter Eleven

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"We made a lot of progress today." Ted inspected the apartment. "The frame's done, and I've got a lot of the wiring in place. The rest should be easy."

"Except for furnishings." Barney replied. "Everything made in my scale is plastic."

"Well, I can make some of that stuff."

Barney wandered the interior of the unfinished apartment. "It's gonna be good, Ted. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

There was a knock at the door. "Guys?"

"Come in, Marshall."

Barney tried not to tense up as the gigantic man entered the room. 'You're not scared of Marshall. It's…it's Marshall! He's, like, the gentlest guy you know.

He's not going to hurt you.'

He'd told Marshall all was forgiven. He'd pretended that he was fine, and the only things needed to buy him off were material goods and a shitty suit. But it wasn't fine, and his peace of mind couldn't be bought.

He just saw that massive hand coming at him, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe.

'He wouldn't do that. He hasn't even tried to touch you since yesterday.'

Marshall actually seemed skittish around the smaller man. He gave Barney an awkward wave, and spoke with forced joviality.

"So, the apartment is coming along nicely."

"Yeah. Ted got a lot done."

"Cool. I think Lily got some stuff for you to put in it. She'll be up in a few minutes." He hurried into the kitchen after Ted, leaving Barney alone on the coffee table.

"Great." Barney muttered under his breath.

The redhead entered, a large Toys R Us shopping bag in hand. "Hi!"

"Hey Lil. What's up?"

"I found the coolest stuff at the mall today." She was beaming.

Barney forced a smile. 'She's just trying to help.'

"I got you some more clothes." She pulled out a large box displaying childish garments, with a picture of a doll named 'Tommy' on the box. They were going to be a bit too big for him; Barney suspected Lily already knew this. Why was it the women around here found that cute?

"I got measured for new suits today, I don't really need—" He began.

"And some furniture ." She cut him off, brandishing what looked like a pink living room set. A plastic pink living room set.

"Actually, Ted's gonna make some furniture ." He said firmly. "Real furniture."

"Well, sure, eventually. But in the meantime, there's this."

"Lily, I don't need all this stuff. You guys should save your money."

"You won't say that when you see this." She winked and set down a box the size of a train car.

" 'The My Littlest Friend Kozy Home.' " It was a gigantic two story plastic doll house resembling a neon whorehouse. Several dolls about his size were posed cavorting over the plastic barbeque, sitting in the plastic kiddy pool, and playing Frisbee with a disk the size of a penny on the plastic lawn.

Barney felt ill.

"It'll be a while before the apartment get's done, so now you'll have a place to stay. And it's so cute!"

It was then he lost his temper.

"Lily, I'm not staying in that thing!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's a toy!"

"So? It's your size."

"You're not listening! I don't care if it's my size, it's still a toy. I'm a grown man, and I have some dignity."

Lily looked confused rather than upset by his outburst. "But…What's the difference between this and what Ted's making?"

"Ted's making me a real apartment just in miniature, not some creepy plastic dollhouse!" Barney growled.

"It's not creepy, it's adorable." Lily's tone became stern. "You should be happy; I had to wrestle this away from my class. They didn't want to lose it."

"You brought me something intended for KINDERGARTNERS?"

"Oh, just look at it; you'll change your mind." She cracked open the dollhouse, scooped Barney up, and placed him in the second story bedroom.

Rage was boiling in him. "Get me out of this damn thing!"

She didn't look hurt or even confused. She looked like…like…

Oh God. That was the look she gave tantrummy kindergartners.

"Just try it. You'll like it." She said patiently.

"You want me to look around? Fine!" He snarled and stalked towards the hard plastic bed. It was light, shoddy material. He grabbed it and flung it out of the open wall.

"Hey, don't!"

He kicked over a nightstand. It crunched satisfyingly under his foot. "Don't what? Act like an actual person instead of a doll?"

He rampaged about the room for a few more seconds before Lily snatched him.

"Barney, what the hell?"

"I'm sick of you acting like I'm a doll!" He roared. "You can't just stick me in some toy and pretend I belong there, Lily!"

Marshall and Ted were watching the scene, eyes wide. Barney didn't care.

"You were actually treating me like a person for a while; what the hell happened?"

"You almost died, that's what happened!" Lily cried out.

They were both quiet for a moment.

"You…almost died…because of me." She spoke slowly, trying not to sob. "I treated you like normal and you almost died. If I watched you like Ted asked…or made you use the stupid teacup instead of that giant mug…that wouldn't have happened."

Barney said nothing.

"And…and then, Ted told us you fell off the couch. I…I can't even imagine what…what we'd do if something did happen to you. I guess I thought…that if I thought of you as a doll…I wouldn't be as scared of that." She was crying. "Toys don't die."

"Lily…"

She set him on the coffe table, far away from the dollhouse. She placed it, and the other baxes, back into the bag.

"I know you hate being treated like this. But I'm not sure I can stand to act like you're still you…because, if you're you, you could…could…"

Marshall couldn't take this; He hurried over to his wife and wrapped her in a hug. She wept into his chest.

Barney looked to Ted for help. He had no idea what to say.

"Lily...We're all scared for Barney. But he's still him. Treating him differently won't make you feel any better."

Lily looked up at Ted. "Easy for you to say; you didn't almost kill him."

"Look, Lily…pretending things are okay won't make it any easier. I already tried that, and it doesn't work." Barney tried to find the words that would make her stop crying. "Please, just act like I'm a human being. I have exactly five people in the world right now who I can talk to, and I don't want to lose one of them."

Lily managed a nod. "I…I can try."

"Good."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He gave her a reassuring smile and lied. "It's okay, Lily. I'm okay."

Lily looked at Ted. "I know."

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A/N This was a tough one to write. It's not an easy idea to translate from my head onto the page…but I think I got it.

BTW, is there something wrong with the website? I've had a little trouble with the editing page, and some of my reviews have gone screwy. No biggie, just wondering.