Interesting Times by GirlX2

Chapter Thirteen

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The next two weeks passed very slowly for Ted. He guessed they were no quicker for Barney; James called him regularly one night a week, but the conversations were strained.

The news continued to interview top scientists and physicists, but little new information came to light. A cure was technically viable, but it would be a year at the earliest before anything was certain, they were saying. Some physicists on the east coast were working with a doctor who claimed to understand the gas that had caused the syndrome.

A few deaths were reported; seemingly the result of Lilliputians having accidents the first few days. These reports didn't help Ted's nightmares.

In the meantime, he finished the apartment. It had electricity, lights, furniture in Barney's size, and could be hooked to a water source. Barney said he liked it, but spent little time inside. Mostly, he hung around with Ted while the architect tried to drum up clients, offering business advice.

That Friday night, Marshall had gotten off work early and was watching TV with the two. "Ted, have you ever thought about working for GNB?"

"Why?" Ted glanced up from his sketchpad.

"Well, they're looking for someone to design stuff for Barney at the office. And there's talk about investing in an apartment complex for Lilliputians. They need an architect for both projects."

"Why build an apartment for Lilliputians?" Ted asked. "By now they've all made arrangements.

"It's a tax dodge. Nobody has to live there; it just has to look like they could." Barney shrugged. "We do it all the time with homeless shelters."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." Marshall said. "Do you want me to give them your info?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"All three of us working at GNB. That'd be legen, wait for it, dary!" Barney seemed cheerful for the first time in weeks. "We've gotta celebrate. Tonight: we go to MacLarens!"

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Ted asked.

"Yeah. I think I am." Barney nodded. "I'm dying for a good scotch, and I know the girls have missed me. Time to get back on the horse."

Ted and Marshall traded grins.

"Alright. I'll call Robin and Lily, you guys order the hot wings." Marshall whipped out his cell phone.

Barney tugged at his tie. "Ted, I bet that I can get you laid tonight."

"Um, how?" Ted asked skeptically.

"Well, aside from being generally awesome, every girl in that place will be dying to talk to a Lilliputian. I'm the perfect blend of sexy and nonthreatening. Then we hit 'em with the old 'Haaave you met Ted?', and bang. You're banging." Barney smirked. "Girls dig the whole responsibility thing. I'm gonna be better than a dog and a baby combined."

"You're okay with me bringing a girl home?"

"Hell yes. A one night stand is just what Dr. Stinson ordered; it'll help you get some decent sleep."

"Heh, yeah." Ted faked a laugh. Barney didn't know the real reason for his sleepless nights.

"And suit up!"

"Nope."

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"You sure that's enough scotch?" Robin kidded gently.

Barney's eyes were huge. "I've had dreams like this."

Lacking glassware in his size, the bar had served him in the smallest vessel they had; a thimble-sized jigger. It was at least a gallon to Barney.

He held the scotch up in a toast. "To working with my best bros!"

The four full-sized friends clinked glasses gently above his head.

It was a quiet night so far; only a few patrons were in the bar and they'd all stayed away from the gang's usual booth. Barney was eyeing the door with interest, waiting for the first hot girl of the night. It felt good to be back.

"I don't have the job yet." Ted reminded him.

"Please. One word from me and you're in." Barney scoffed. "No one else even has a sample to show them. You've got my whole apartment!"

"Yeah, and I um, might have already told them you were interested." Marshall colored with embarrassment, but didn't stop smiling.

"You're getting devious. I like it." Barney said.

"Ooh, baby." Lily batted her eyelashes theatrically. "You're bad."

While they all chatted about Marshall's new found bad boy persona the bar steadily filled. It was packed, even for a Friday night.

"Um, Ted, do you mind if we head upstairs for a little while?" Marshall grinned conspiratorially. "Lily needs to wash up."

"Just don't do it in my bed, that's all I ask." Ted rolled his eyes as the couple sped off.

"Whoa, perfect ten dead ahead." Barney zeroed in on a tall blond. "Ted, she's checking us out. When she comes over, let me do all the talking."

"Yeah, no. Last time we did that you told the girl we were rocket scientists getting ready for a secret mission to mars."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"You guys seduce, I'm gonna get some more beer." Robin headed for a vacant barstool.

The blond Barney was tracking came over. "Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but…um…"

Barney adopted what the Ted knew to be his Vulnerable Look. "No, it's okay. You haven't seen someone like me up close and were curious."

"I actually wanted your salt." She indicated her margarita glass, looking like she might die from embarrassment.

"Oh." Barney's face fell.

"I'm sorry; I didn't think you'd want to talk to some random woman." She said quickly.

"That's fine." Ted handed her the salt. "I'm Ted, and he's Barney."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ivy."

"Would you like a seat? I know it's getting crowded." Barney asked, winking at Ted.

"Uh, thanks." She smiled at him. "That's nice."

"No problem. It's just nice to have someone pretty to look at. I've been staring at Ted's ugly mug for two weeks now!"

"Oh, you're living together."

"Yeah. It's a funny story, really…"

As Barney wove a tale for the blond girl Ted was aware of more and more girls around the table. At least half a dozen were hanging around by the end of the story.

"…So after saving my life, he said 'You're staying with me, and that's final!'" Barney finished, sipping his scotch. A tiny chorus of 'Awws' went up from the women.

"That's soooo sweet." A redhead brushed Ted's arm. "You're so nice to look after your friend like that."

"Yeah. I wish my ex boyfriend was like that." Another blond chimed in, smiling seductively.

Ivy gave him a genuine smile. "Itis cool. Not every guy would do that."

"He's my bro. He'd do the same for me."

Barney grinned at Ted. "I'm feeling a little tired. Maybe Robin can take me home?"

"I'll do it!" At least three girls chimed in.

The grin slid off Barney's face. This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go. "Uh, that's nice ladies, but I'm pretty beat, and Ted is-"

"No, please, we'll do it!"

Barney felt flutters of panic as the three debated over who would get to carry him upstairs. 'Not good.'

"He's done for the night." A slender hand reached through the mob and lifted him out. Robin tried to edge backwards through the crowd. She was using both hands to shield Barney, so was making little headway. It didn't help that the trio of women were trying to keep him there.

"Shit. Barney, what did you say to these lunatics?" She grunted, hip-checking the redhead.

"Just the truth…with an asterisk or two."

"Great." Robin tried to elbow someone aside. "Okay, this isn't working, and Ted's already distracting as many as he can."

"So what do we do?"

"I have an idea, but I swear, if you throw this back in my face I'll end your life, Stinson."

The crowed of women was getting more and more insistent that Barney stay. "Whatever gets me out of here."

To Barney's surprise, Robin slid him down the front of her shirt, firmly into the middle of her bra.

"I've died and gone to heaven." He croaked.

"You will did if I feel you fondling anything." Robin shoved people out of the way and escaped the bar.

She extricated him as she hurried upstairs. "I hope you realize those girls almost tore you apart because of your stupid story."

Barney wobbled in her palm for a moment, and then collapsed into a sitting position, goofy smile plastered across his face.

"Worth it."

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A/N I wanted to leave Barney in a good mood for the new year...call me a softie!

Also, since Barney's looking at spending quite a while at this size, there will be a few time skips. As much as I'd like to, filling every single day with exciting events would leave me bereft of ideas fairly quickly. Happy new year!