Interesting Times, by GirlX2

Chapter Seventeen

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'No!' Ted shook his head as Barney studied the distance between the cage and the floor. It was easily five feet—or one hundred and twenty, as far as Lilliputian measurements. He'd never survive.

'Okay, well, technically, he might survive without being hurt too badly, but that's a big maybe.' Ted reminded himself grimly. Barney weighed next to nothing, so falls didn't hurt as much.

Or so the theory went.

Ted shouted behind his gag, begging his friend not to jump. Barney gave him a too-confident grin.

"It's okay Ted, I'll be fine. I'm awesome, remember?"

With that, he jumped.

Ted strained forwards, willing himself to break free of the chair, and catch Barney. But this time, time didn't slow down. He stayed firmly glued to the spot as Barney hit the wood with barely a sound.

'Shitshitshit!' Ted tried to see if he was breathing, but the movement, if there, was too small. He let out a few muffled cries, but Barney didn't even twitch.

Ted shut his eyes, feeling tears start to well up. 'Please God, please, let him be okay. I don't care what happens to me, just let him be alive.'

"Oww…"

Ted's eyes flew open.

Barney was on his knees, arms wrapped around himself. "That…hurt worse…than shrinking did."

He looked up at Ted, trying to manage a smile. "Told you so."

Ted jerked his head towards the door. 'Go. Get out of here before that lunatic come back. Please, Barney, just go…'

Barney, willfully oblivious to his friend's frantic jerking, slowly limped over to Ted's ankle and began tugging at the tape. Ted jiggled his leg as much as the bondage allowed, trying to shake him off.

"I'm trying to get you out of here. Hold still!"

Ted shook his head. 'Go, damnit!'

"Okay, this isn't going anywhere." Barney leaned on him, winded and weak from the fall. He's been bruised badly, but nothing seemed to be broken. A sprained ankle and wrist, perhaps. "Guess that leaves one alternative. Did he take your cell?"

Ted shook his head slowly, wondering where Barney was going with this. 'No…he can't…'

With a grunt of effort, Barney grabbed a handful of Ted's jeans and began to climb.

'Oh, you idiot.'

"Don't shake me off. It won't kill me, but it hurts like a bitch." Barney climbed as quickly as his battered body allowed. It took several minutes, but he made it to Ted's lap. "Tell me it's in your jacket, and not in your back pocket."

Ted nodded mournfully.

"Good." Barney gingerly slid between Ted's jacket and his ribs, quickly draining his strength to hoist himself into the inner pocket. Ted's phone flashed in the darkness of the cloth.

Barney sank to a sitting position, nearly at the end of his endurance. 'Good thing 9-1-1 is only three buttons…'

He groaned and pushed the 'nine' with both hands, his injured wrist protesting. He drew back, massaging it.

'Okay, now the one…' He eyed the button for a moment, trying to catch his breath.

The ring startled him as Robin's number flashed across the screen.

'Robin is nine on Ted's speed-dial? Why the hell is she so far down the list?'

This question was firmly shoved out of his mind as Robin's voice came over the line. "Ted, hi. What's up?"

"Robin-" Barney's voice stuck in his throat.

"Barney? What's up?"

So much he wanted to say. But not now. This wasn't the time to freeze up. Ted's life depended on it.

"Robin, just listen. Ted and I have been kidnapped, and we need help." Barney spoke quickly, rolling over her cries and questions. "Ted's hurt, and this psycho is gonna kill him. I was trying to call nine-one-one, but I don't think I can push any more buttons."

"Where are you?"

"I…I don't know. Near the river, in some skanky abandoned apartment."

"I've got a friend-finder app on my phone, I'll find you. I'm gonna call the police." The shake in Robin's voice was all but completely hidden. "Are you somewhere safe?"

Barney managed a small laugh. "I'm in Ted's pocket, so…yeah, until the kidnapper comes back."

"Alright. We'll be there with the cops. Don't do anything stupid."

"Too late." Barney used the last of his strength to kick the 'end' button. If Bobby came back and heard Robin's voice coming from Ted's pocket, they were sunk.

Well, more sunk.

"Ted? Robin…Robin's getting help." Barney raised his voice. "But…I don't think I can do anything else."

He felt movement from his friend, but had no idea how to interpret it. He was just so tired…

To frightened to sleep, to weak to stay awake, he drifted into a haze. For how long, he couldn't say.

Bobby's voice shook him from his retreat.

"Where is he, Mosby?"

The world tilted under him as Ted's chair was thrown backwards. The crash of impact was barely cushioned by Ted's body and the cloth. Barney found himself lying down under the cell phone. It was hefty, but not enough to squish him.

There was a loud rip.

"Where is he?"

"Fuck you." Ted's voice was harsh and defiant. "He's gone."

There was a soft *snick*. It was a noise Barney knew too well. Bobby had gotten out his knife.

"We'll see about that."

Ted cried out as the man stabbed him, somewhere other than a main artery. Bobby was too smart to finish things that quickly, especially when he needed information.

"I'm here!" Barney cried out, his voice buried under Ted's. He tried to squirm out from under the phone, but it was too massive for his battered body to shift. "Ted, tell him!"

Ted either couldn't hear him, or didn't listen. All Barney could hear was the slash of the knife, and Ted's bellows of pain.

"Mosby, you're no good to me alive unless I have Stinson. Where…is…he?"

"Gone." Ted's voice was weaker now. "Escaped."

"The fuck he did."

Barney thrashed violently, but couldn't free himself. "I'm here, stop hurting him!"

There was a pause.

"Well, now. What's this?"

The massive hand of their captor was thrust into the pocket.

'At least Ted will be okay.' Barney steeled himself for the crushing grip, and whatever would follow.

To his amazement, the man lifted the phone away, fingers barely brushing the Lilliputian. He hadn't heard Barney's cries after all, it seemed. He'd just noticed the shape of the phone in Ted's jacket.

The world tilted upright as the chair was lifted. Barney lay collapsed in a heap, unable to climb out of Ted's pocket, his voice too weak to attract the notice of their kidnapper.

'Weak.'

"Ted…" Whisper, sob, or plea, he wasn't sure anymore.

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A/N Back from my trip, with a head full of new ideas (if nothing else).