Interesting Times, Chapter 22
By GirlX2
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Knowing it was a dream didn't make it better. He would wake up to the insane, yet real, horror soon enough. Best to take something he knew to be fantasy.
Anything was better than facing the reality that he was three inches tall, had almost gotten his friend murdered, and was hopelessly in love with a woman who was too good for him before either of those things had happened.
He was falling; from where, to where, or if he would survive, he didn't know. Something green was rushing up to meet him. Grass, he realized, moments before the blades slashed past his face. He continued to fall, buffeted by blades as sharp as a cornstalk's leaves, and much, much taller.
"Ted!" He cried out, hoping for the safety of his friend, even in this dreamworld. Distant rumblings shook the ground as he collided with the dirt. Winded, he took a few moments to gather his strength. Weren't you supposed to be impervious to pain in dreams? Or was he only dreaming he was in pain?
It didn't seem to matter.
"Ted?" He lifted his eyes to the sky, his voice emerging as little more than a pained whimper. Something was wrong with his throat.
The sky above him was the ridiculous blue of a robin's egg. Something shadowy, immense, strode over him, blotting out the sun for a moment as it passed. A thunderous rumbled accompanied it's movement.
'If that was a person', the sick inner voice that took delight in his suffering spoke up, 'you're not three inches tall anymore. You're much, much smaller.'
"TED!" He screamed, and grabbed at his throat. He's said 'Ted' he was sure of it. But that wasn't what had come out.
It sounded like a squeak.
'I take it back. This is worse than being awake.' Barney shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see anymore of this nightmare, and hoping to God he didn't forget it was only a dream.
The thunderous rumbling above got louder, but no more intelligible. Barney opened his eyes, the scene unchanged.
'You might be an inch or so. Might.' The voice said smugly.
"Shut-up." Barney shook his head. Still just a squeak. And the voice didn't shut up.
'Good luck getting his attention like this.'
"Barney?"
A voice like lead weights dropping onto a marble floor assaulted him. He clamped his hands to his ears, but it did nothing.
Apparently, you couldn't go deaf in a dream.
Was it Ted above him? He didn't dare look. He changed his mind, didn't want to be found like this. Not by a massive Ted from the depths of his mind who'd likely be a mess of blood, and blaming him for what had happened.
Something smashed into the ground next to him. He squeaked in terror, and scrambled backwards. It was as big around as a tree trunk, and covered in grayish brown spikes.
He looked upwards, unwillingly motored by the spasms of nightmare.
A spider...no. There was no spider that was ever like this. Slavering maw, complete with blood. Red eyes. It towered above him, much bigger than a tarantula.
Good God, was that what had said his name?
'Zipping down the food chain, are we?' The smug little voice sounded cheerful.
The spider was grinning, oh God, how could that even be-
Further thought was cut as the thing pounced, lightly and lithely on his body. Fangs dug into his neck, pumping poison into him. All sensations below his neck ceased, replaced with a numb tingling.
No...he could feel something new as the fangs retracted. Something smooth encircling his body.
He continued to scream, unleashing squeaks in an unending stream. It was cocooning him.
The webbing stopped and the thing scuttled away from the grassy point of impact; where it was taking him, Barney didn't know, or care.
'I want to wake up, I don't want to see anymore, please...' He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself back to reality. He could practically feel it above, like a swimmer deep under water. He thrashed, fighting to wake.
He remained trapped in the silken weave, dangling from the monster's mouth. The motion suddenly stopped. He forced himself to look.
A small pile of dessicated husks lay on the ground beneath the spider. Three empty web sacks, identical to the one he was in.
Ted. Lily. Marshall. Their names might as well have been written on the husks.
He was falling again, his journey much shorter than before. The thing leered down at him, it's eyes glinting.
Something nearby squeaked.
No. Oh God, no, not this, anything but this, he'd live through a thousand deaths if only he didn't see whatever the creature hid behind the pile of husks.
The cocoons crumbled to nothing, revealing Robin's tear-stained face. The rest of her was encircled by the same silk trap as him.
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Robin all but tore the roof off in her attempt to get to Barney. She could hear him crying out in his sleep, screams that should have awakened him. It might have been a residual effect of the medications the hospital had given him.
He lay in bed, tangled in his blankets, thrashing, screaming...screaming...
'He's saying my name.'
"Barney!" She raised her voice to a decibel she knew him to be uncomfortable with. He didn't rouse.
She plucked him from the bed, hoping this would do the trick, but was unsurprised when it didn't. One thing left, then.
"This always works in the movies." She poured the cold contents of her soda can onto him.
His eyes flew open. "Robin!"
"Easy, easy. It's okay. I'm here."
"What...wha..." He spluttered and tried to disentangle himself from the bedding. "What happened?"
"I...I couldn't wake you up. I'm sorry."
He shook his head, shivering. "What is this?"
"Sprite." She said apologetically. "I couldn't sleep, and I got thirsty."
"It's fine." Barney wiped soda from his eyes. He looked pale. "Um...I think I'll take a shower. If you could put the roof back on."
"Sure." She replaced it gently, and sat nearby to wait. She didn't think Barney would be sleeping anymore tonight.
She wouldn't be.
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A/N Sorry it's not more plot relevant, but sometimes the muse refuses to give you anything until you've gotten certain things out. Also working on a book, and an Avengers fic, so I've been busy.