Author's note: Yes, I'm messing with the timeline. It's (partly) trying to convey how confused Nagato is. Partly it's because I want to confuse you. Partly because I grew up watching Tarantino movies. I love Pulp Fiction ^.^
Noise of the everlasting summer nights
Repeat 161
Hopelessness and despair
by Synaps
Asahina Mikuru was crying.
They had finally discovered that we were stuck in an endless recursion of time, as Koizumi Itsuki had put it.
It was in the middle of the night, cicadas were flying around us. The street lights were lit, providing just enough light for the SOS Brigade, sans Suzumiya Haruhi, to see each other. The others were talking in a rather calm manner, considering the circumstances. It seemed like both Kyon and Koizumi Itsuki had noticed the nature of the situation, in the form of a deja vú feeling.
I saw a glimpse of hope then. If they knew about the loop they could fix it, no need for me to get involved.
Then their attention shifted to me.
"You remember it all?"
"Yes"
"By the way, how many times has this repetition happened?"
"This would be the 161st time."
Kyon completely froze. It seemed like he first then realised truth, that this was real. He began questioning me further, getting more and more panicked as the conversation continued. 'Kyon… I wish I could say something to calm you down. But I do not know what I should say. Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? That this is the first time you've realised. That this is the first time that we have even had the chance of getting out of this? That I am relieved that you're not blaming me for not stopping this? I have the power to do that, in theory. Should I tell you that?'
Asahina Mikuru was crying again.
-l-
Kyon resumed his questioning as we went to the batting centre.
"Why did you keep quiet?"
He sounded civil, considerate. Not at all angry, like I would have excepted.
"Because my role is observation"
He seemed to understand that.
-l-
The days are going by, without anyone doing anything differently.
Why aren't they doing anything differently?
This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. Why don't they take it?
Why won't they fix this?
"Why don't you fix it? You can and you want to."
I'm not listening to you, you're dead.
-l-
I've begun thinking about Asakura Ryoko, lately.
If the universe is turned right again, will the sense of her disappear? It has been growing lately, the feeling in the pit of my stomach which warns me of danger. The last time I felt like this was right before I deleted her, when she was attacking Kyon. I've begun to associate it with her.
I hope it doesn't linger.
-l-
"I was hoping you'd understand my point of view now, Nagato-san."
That is not up to me, but my superiors. My opinion doesn't matter.
"You're such a bore sometimes."
-l-
I didn't question it, because that didn't do anything for me the last time.
Still, her reappearance bothered me.
-l-
Of course, I wasn't really worried.
Human Interfaces aren't supposed to get worried.
(That worries me the most.)
-l-
The activities, the summer days. All the exactly same, even though the three of them now knew.
I hated them for it.
-l-
I could tell by their mannerisms that they were growing more and more nervous as the days passed. They were dreading it, yet did not take action. Perhaps they didn't know what to do. Is that an excuse? They had to have some idea. If I, who are so dissimilar to humans, can even begin to understand them – why can't they read Suzumiya Haruhi's mind like an open book?
-l-
"Do something"
I can't.
"They won't!"
It's not my mission.
"If you don't do something we will be trapped here forever!"
Ryoko… don't.
"Don't you get it! They CAN'T get us out! The only one with that power is you!"
Just don't.
"Just take action!"
What would I do, anyway? Am I not in the same position as the others? What should I do, to make her stop?
There was no answer to that, though I felt her muttering.
-l-
The last day.
The last opportunity.
Yet, they did not act.
Would they realise it in the next loop again? The odds were against it, but not completely.
What difference would it make if they did?
-l-
"Just do something. Anything. As long as it's different."