Disclaimer: I don't own Wallace and Gromit; hopefully I get it for Christmas!

Wednesday came and it was time for Lady Tottington's pageant lessons.

Victor came to her manor house wearing a blonde toupee, a business suit lined with rabbit fur (evil!!!) and alligator skin shoes (stupid animal killer!). He chuckled evilly before ringing the doorbell. Lady Tottington answered the door and let him in.

"Are you Constantine Menzel?" she asked.

"Yes, dahling." Victor replied in his cheesiest New York accent. "The one and only."

"Please come in!" she said. He walked in and sat down on a couch.

"First things first," he said. "I need my payment of 200 pounds."

"Check or cash?" she asked.

"Preferably cash, doll." He replied. She took her purse out and pulled out a huge wad of cash and handed it to him.

"We're going to learn how to poise ourselves." He said as he stood up. "Slouch yourself like this." He said as he let himself slouch.

"Oh," Lady Tottington said. "My governess told me to stand up straight…"

"DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS PAGEANT OR NOT?!" he shouted. She did as she was told. His absurd instructions continued for 3 hours and thirty minutes until it was six o' clock. When it six, Wallace and Gromit popped over at Tottington Manor to say "hi" to Lady Tottington.

"Hello, Totty!" Wallace cheerfully exclaimed, with Gromit behind him. "How's your training…" He then saw Lady Tottington with her hair in her face, slouching and shuffling her feet. "…Going?"

"Hello, Wallace!" Lady Tottington said. "My training is going fine. And I'd like you to meet my trainer, Constantine Menzel." Victor, with a bagel and Starbucks coffee (A/N: I just thought of Starbucks… I don't know what a popular coffee chain in England is, so don't take offense!) in hand, said "Charmed, I'm sure," As he shook Wallace's hand and roughly patted Gromit on the head.

"Your lessons are done, doll." Victor said. "I must go home. I shall see you next week." He walked out to the car and got in. "That was too easy." He said evilly. He drove off into the distance laughing maniacally.

Inside the manor, Lady Tottington and Wallace were talking about how this "trainer" had strange methods.

"He seems so strange," Wallace said.

"Well," Lady Tottington replied. "He is newly emigrated from New York and he probably decided to go against the grain when making these methods."

Gromit thought about "Constantine" and thought, Something isn't right about that guy.

End of chapter! Sorry this one is so short! How'd you guys like this one? Was it any good or was it rubbish? Review and I'll send out Eggnog Lattes from Starbucks, sponge candy, and videos of Victor trying to speak in a NY accent. Happy Reviewing and Happy Holidays!

-Harry's Girl 01031992