Hey there! Again, this is a long chapter to apologize for the time it took me to write it! I wanted to do it earlier, but I had so much exams I was running around like a crazy lady! But well, there it is!

So, after this one, there's normally only one chapter left! But I'm leaving on vacation for 10 days on Friday, so I won't be able to have it up before… But I promise you that I will have it for you when I come back! Because at my cabin, away from ALL civilization, I'm really inspired to write!

As always, I'll see you at the end!

When Andy first started to come back to her, the first thing she thought was how she was surprized to still be alive. Disoriented and trying to guess where she was, the first thing she noticed was the repetitive noise coming from the cardiac monitor at the left of her bed.

Biip… Biip… Biip…

Still unable to open her eyes, she slowly analyzed what she was feeling. The air wasn't too hot or too cold, and there was some kind of antiseptic smell around her. However, there was something more in the air, some kind of familiar odor that she couldn't quite figure out.

Listening, she heard the sound of high heels shoes that were clicking outside of the room in which she was. Andy could also hear someone breathing; maybe she wasn't alone in the room she told herself.

The next thing she remarked was the blanket covering her up to her shoulders, and then she realized that her bed was leaning a bit on the left, like if some kind of weight was applied to this side of it.

That was when she noticed the fact that her hand was covered by something warm. Guessing it was another hand over hers, Andy opened her eyes slowly; curious to find out whom was there with her

While she was gathering all her strength to lift her eyelids, she was secretly hoping that it was Sam beside her. The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that it could really be him. The smell floating in the room vaguely remind her of the smell that was left in her house when he got out in the morning.

Her eyes got gradually used to the obscurity in which the room was plunged and they confirmed what she was already thinking; she was in a hospital room. A few wires were coming from her body and going into different monitors and she turned her head to the left, her eyes settling on the person lying on her bed.

That familiar dark tousled hair, the shirt he usually wore under his uniform; she felt a shiver run down her spine. It really was Sam. A small smile made his way to her lips while she was silently watching him.

He had fallen asleep still sitting on his chair; his head was rested on his left arm that was on the bed, and his right hand was still over hers. She was still amazed to see how much younger he looked when he was asleep. He had this really peaceful look on his face and he always seemed to have lost at least 5 years of age.

Andy smiled as she felt more at her place right now, in this hospital room, that she had felt during those 10 long weeks in deep cover. She couldn't really explain how she felt when she was with Sam, but she felt it since the very beginning. When she was with Luke, she couldn't get herself to stay the night, but with Sam, she didn't have this problem. On the contrary, she felt more at home with him than alone.

Trying not to wake him up, Andy raised his right hand, ignoring the low pain that was radiating from her left shoulder. Slowly, as gently as possible, she ran her fingers on Sam's cheek, tears suddenly making their way to her eyes as she wondered why he was there even after she left without telling him goodbye.

Bringing her hand back at her side, she tried to move a little, she had been in the same position for a long time now and she was starting to get sore. She regretted it as soon as she moved though, because Sam's' breathing got irregular, sign that he was probably waking up.

He finally opened his eyes and his gaze locked on hers. Andy's heart tightened as she got lost in the depth of this warm and comforting brown she had missed so much in the last couple of months. She was sure that he would've moved on by now, that maybe he would have a new girlfriend, would have forgotten her… Yet, there he was at her bedside.

"Sam? What are you doing here..?" She asked him on a curious tone, wanting to know why he wasn't mad at her or anything.

She noticed this sudden change in the way he was looking at her, the spark in his eyes ran out and he quickly let go of her hand. Andy missed the heat and the comfort that it provided instantly, and she almost asked him to put it back, but he opened his mouth, silent for second before he finally spoke.

"I don't know." He began. "I know you don't want me here, I'm gonna go." He told her, starting to get up.

He observed her for one last moment before leaving the chair he had been occupying for a few hours now. His eyes stayed locked on Andy, and she wondered why he was acting this way. Did he think she wanted him to leave? Because she really wanted the contrary, she was just surprised that he still wanted to be with her after everything that happened.

"I don't wann…" She started, trying to explain that she didn't want him to go, but he interrupted her.

"No, I know McNally, I'm going. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He said raising his hand in front of him and taking a step back towards the door.

She shook her head, starting to understand what he thought; he thought that after the decision she took, the one about the deep cover operation, she didn't want to see him again. That was completely false, but he didn't seem to understand that.

"Sam…" She said, trying to make him listen.

He shook his head and looked at her for a couple of seconds before turning to the door. She wanted to tell him to say, she wanted to scream it to him. Andy wanted to tell him that she missed him more than anything, more than anyone, but the words stayed stuck in her throat as he spoke one last time.

"Take care of yourself, Andy." He finally said before getting out of the room.

Andy looked at the door with a confused look. She couldn't believe what had just happened, why were they always misunderstanding each other in the worst situation? She asked herself before closing her eyes, letting her head rest on her pillow.

Her shoulder was horribly hurting her right now and she pushed the call button near her bed. A few seconds later, a woman of a certain age opened the door to her room and looked at her with a sympathetic smile.

"So you're awake, Miss McNally?" She told her while getting close to the bed.

"It's officer McNally actually, but you can call me Andy, and yes, I'm awake." She corrected her, smiling back. She always thought it was weird when someone called her 'Miss'.

"Your boyfriend didn't stay with you Andy?" She asked her, grabbing her chart to see the doctor recommendations.

"He isn't my boyfriend." She told her in a sigh, closing her eyes for an instant, trying to forget everything that had just happened with Sam.

"Really? Oh I'm sorry dear; he looked so affected by your accident that I assumed he was your boyfriend." The nursed explained her with a small smile.

Andy shook her head without answering; hoping that the conversation would end there and that she could try and get Sam out of her head. However, the woman didn't seem to have understood that fact and she continued.

"He came with you in the ambulance, and he didn't leave your side since you were put in this room. I even got him a bed, but I think he just stayed on this chair all night." She explained her slowly.

"He came with me in the ambulance?" Andy asked her, curious, not knowing how Sam could've been in the ambulance with her.

"Yes, and he even got mad at your surgeon because he didn't give him some news earlier." The nurse continued while getting ready with the drugs she was going to give her through intravenous route.

Andy looked at her puzzled, raising her eyebrows. Why would Sam do something like that, she asked herself as she continued to look at the woman.

"I don't know the whole story, but I think it has to do with the fact that I'm the only person authorized in your room." She told her taking a few steps closer to her.

"You're the only one? She asked her as the nurse added the meds to her IV.

"I know just as much as you do about this, they only told me to keep my mouth shut." She finally told her, giving her a wink. "I think your family doesn't even know."

"Yeah, I think I understand now." Andy answered while nodding slowly.

"You should feel better in a few minutes dear." The nurse told her before telling her to try and sleep for a few more hours before she exited the room, turning off the lights as she went.

Andy closed her eyes once the woman was out of the room, already feeling the painkillers kicking in and numbing her whole body. Nick probably decided to go through with the operation, and for that it was mandatory that she stayed here and alone, because she most likely was supposed to be dead.

She still had an awful lot of questions after everything that happened, but there wasn't anyone to answer them now. Anyway, she was quickly falling into unconsciousness and she didn't try to fight it, enjoying the comfort that it was providing her.

Three weeks later, Andy was looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was definitely better since she wasn't in deep cover anymore, and she had gained back the few pounds she had lost during those 10 weeks.

Quickly throwing her vest on her shoulders, she got out of her apartment, not wanting to make Traci wait since she was nice enough to drive her to work. Saying hi to her friend, she took place in her car and rapidly fastened her seatbelt.

The last few weeks had gone by atrociously slowly and Andy was quite happy to finally go back to work. She had been forced to spend the first two alone in her room, because since Nick was still undercover and telling everyone she died, she couldn't really walk around on the streets.

When she had woken up the day after the shooting, Luke was in her hospital room and he had explained what was going to happen for the rest of the operation. Nick was going to try and get in on Bill's drug business for two more weeks, and they hoped that the fact that Bill was in the hospital would force him to accept the help that Nick was proposing.

No one outside of Swarek and Shaw knew that she had been injured, and for the rest of the world, it would be just as if nothing happened and she was still in deep cover. Two weeks later, she was beginning to feel incredibly alone in her room when Luke came to tell her that everything had went exactly as they planned.

Bill had let Nick take care of his clients while he was recovering, and not only Luke and his team were able to stop Bill's business, but they were also able to put their hands on one of the biggest heroin cargo ever found in Toronto.

"So you're ready to go back to work?" Traci asked her, getting her out of her thoughts.

Andy nodded vigorously while looking at her.

"Absolutely! I'm great and I'm thrilled to see everyone." Andy answered with a bit too much of enthusiasm for her friend to really believe her.

"You didn't see Sam since he left that night didn't you?" Traci told her with a look that was half amazed and half discouraged.

"I didn't have time to..." She started before her friend shot her a disbelief look, raising her eyebrows. "Okay, well, maybe I just didn't know what to tell him after everything that happened." Andy said looking at her friend.

"Andy, you guys need to talk and actually listen. Everyone knows that you're meant for each other, stop dancing around your feelings." The young woman told her while staring at her.

"After he left like that, I don't know if he still wants me." Andy told her, turning her eyes towards the road that was passing at her right.

"It was a misunderstanding; he's the one thinking you don't want him." Traci continued on an exasperated tone.

Andy looked at her and shrugged, acting like she didn't really care and her friend rolled her eyes at her with a sigh.

"That is exactly why you two need to talk!" Her best friend repeated one last time before parking her car behind the police station.

"Yes, and we will talk Trace, just, not now okay? It's my first day back and I want everything to be great." Andy told her before getting out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

Traci got out a few seconds after her and quickly caught up with her.

"That's one more reason to talk to him." She told her silently with a determined look.

Andy shook her head and started to walk quicker, she could almost hear her friend rolling her eyes behind her. She hastily made her way across the room, going to the lockers. She kept her eyes down all the way, not wanting to see if Sam was there.

She got into her uniform in a record time and she went to sit at her usual spot in the parade room. Mindlessly looking at her watch, she made sure that she was on time as the other officers were coming through the doors.

Traci came to join her a few seconds later and Andy was scared that she might start their earlier conversation again, but she didn't, and Andy was grateful for that. When Traci turned to look towards the doors a couple of minutes after, Andy guessed that Sam must've come into the room. Her friend was opening her mouth to say something, but Best choose that moment to begin talking.

He started by congratulating Nick, Andy and Luke on their operation, and then he moved on to the different assignments for today. As she already knew, Andy was on desk duty for the next week or so, pending on her fitness evaluation.

When Best finished his speech with his usual 'Serve, protect and make me proud' the room quickly emptied. Andy and Traci walked by Sam while getting out, and he shot Andy an insisting look but she continued to look in front of her, afraid she wouldn't be able to resist his eyes.

Andy walked to her desk and Traci continued to walk toward Dov, with whom she was on patrol today, but not before shooting her a disbelief look for her attitude towards Sam.

Settling down on her chair, Andy looked at Sam walking to the other side of the station without giving her a look. She sighed, running her hands on her face; it was going to be a long day. Still sighing, she asked herself how she was going to stop thinking about Sam today; it would be nearly impossible.

That's when she took the decision that she would speak to him tonight. Traci was right, they really needed to sit down and discuss this like the two grown-ups they were. Andy just couldn't imagine her life without him, she couldn't lose him. Even if she didn't wanted to, she needed him more than she ever needed anyone else before…

Sam was sitting on the corner of Oliver's desk, talking with him when Andy came in the station. He didn't think she noticed him, but he had definitely noticed her. His heart had started pounding when his eyes had rested themselves on her silhouette.

Her hair was loose and it was floating randomly on her shoulders. She looked great and well rested he thought, well, more in shape that when he had seen her in the hospital that was sure. He smiled softly, happy to see that she was okay in spite of the fact that she was probably still angry with him.

"Hello, earth to Sam." Oliver called him while tapping on his arm, making him come out of his thoughts.

"Sorry Oliver, you were saying?" His friend apologized while shaking his head, getting Andy out of his mind.

"I was saying that Zoe is letting me come back home and that you won't have to lend me your couch anymore, not that it seems to matter to you." Oliver told him with a wink.

"Ahh that's great my friend!" Sam told him with a huge grin, slapping him in the back, genuinely happy for him.

"Yes that's more the kind of reaction I was waiting for." Oliver told him smiling back.

Sam was still talking with Oliver when he realized that if they didn't move now they were going to be late to parade and they quickly walked to the room where the other officers were already waiting. They took their normal spot in the back and Best started talking almost at the same moment.

From where he was Sam had a clear view on Andy and he couldn't help himself from looking at her. Her hair was now gathered up in her usual ponytail and she seemed to be focusing on what Best was saying. He started by congratulating Nick and her for the success of their deep cover operation, and then he gave out the assignments.

When Best was finally finished, Sam didn't move and kept his back on the wall behind him, waiting for Andy to get up. He would've wanted her to come and see him, to explain to him what had happened that night in the hospital room, but he knew that there wasn't a lot of chance for that to happen. Plus he didn't know if he was strong enough for her to tell him she didn't want them to be together.

Still, he followed her with his eyes as she crossed the room at Traci's side and he didn't stop looking at her even when she passed in front of him, making it a point not to look at him. Oliver looked at him from the corner of his eyes before laying his hand on his shoulder, going out of the room after them.

As Sam took place behind the wheel of the cruiser, his mind was still with Andy, he had tried for the last two weeks not to think about her, but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't stop. He had tried to find out how she was in many different ways, he had called the hospital, asked Oliver, he even texted Traci to ask her if she had heard anything from Andy.

At least now that she was back at work, he could make sure that she was okay, even if he knew that anything could happen on this job; what happened to Jerry was a big reminder of that.

"You know, you guys need to stop dancing around one another and have a real conversation." His partner told him, distracting the course of his thoughts.

"She'll talk to me when she's ready." Sam answered back without even taking the time to look at him.

"You left her, and then she left you, then you did it again. Aren't you sick of that one step forward two step back thing? You need to step on your proud and go talk to her." Oliver continued, still looking at the road in front of him.

"It's not just my proud; I don't even know if she wants me back Oli." Sam told him as he shot him a small glance.

"Well, that you won't know for sure before going to see her and ask her. Anyway, from what I heard, she asked if you were well, and you asked if she was well, so I think it's clear." He said on a tone that didn't leave space for discussion.

Sam opened his mouth to argue and Oliver raised his hand in front of him to make him stop, he wasn't done yet.

"Stop telling me she doesn't want you back, that's a lot easier to say than it is to admit she hurt you by leaving for her deep cover operation without telling you." His friend continued, looking at him for a couple of seconds.

Sam waited a few more seconds, wondering if Oliver had finished rambling, but it seemed he hadn't and he started again only a moment later.

"And you two are meant to be together, I know it, Traci knows it, everyone knows it, you just have to stop this silly thing you have going on." He finished before turning his face back to the left of the car, watching the road.

Waiting a minute or so, Sam made sure that this time he was really done before deciding to talk to him.

"It's okay? You're done now?" He asked as Oliver made him turn to go get something to eat.

His friend nodded and Sam sighed silently, turning in the street that the man at his right had just pointed him.

"And if leaving with Nick was really a sign that she didn't want me?" He asked him, trying to hide how much he hoped that this wasn't the truth.

"You're made for each other, you know that brother, just like me and Zoe." Oliver told him while waving his hand through the air like this statement was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh yeah, and just remember me how long have you been crashing on my couch again?" Sam asked, raising one eyebrow.

"I'm not sleeping on your couch anymore buddy and you're making my point right there. Zoe and I had our problems, but still, we were able to work them through, and we're still together. That's how it's gonna be with McNally too." His friend told him as Sam parked the car in front of a small diner.

"Okay, okay, I'm gonna think about it." Sam told him, wrinkling his eyebrow, clearly annoyed by the incessant babbling of his partner. "Maybe next time I'll ask to be partnered with Dov." He continued before getting out of the car, slamming the door.

"Ahh I love you too Sammy." Oliver replied as he got out of the car.

The rest of the day went well, it was a normal day, just enough work to keep them occupied, but not too much so that they couldn't make it back to the station for 4P.M, the time they usually finished their shift.

The first thing Sam noticed when he got inside the building was the way Andy was staring at him. She was standing up near the entrance desk, talking with Traci who had just come back from patrol, and she looked at him from the moment he passed the door.

She made him a sign that clearly told him that she wanted to talk. However, she was with Traci and he was with Oliver, and he really didn't want to do that in front of them so he nodded and told her he would see her later. She nodded in response and went back to her conversation with Traci as him and Oli made their way to the locker room.

Sam got out of his clothes slowly, taking his time to take a shower and to dress in his normal clothes before getting out of the boys locker room. The morning shift had ended since about an hour, and the evening shift had begun at the same time so the locker room were almost empty.

Making his way to the girl's one Sam slightly opened the door to see that Andy was sitting on one of the benches, tying her shoes.

"McNally" He said as he walked in the room.

"You haven't lost your old habits I see." She told him with a small smile, talking about the fact that he was always hanging out in the girl's room.

"Haven't done that in the last 10 weeks that's for sure." He told her on a slight rougher tone that he intended.

Andy opened her mouth to argue but she closed it again, looking at him for a few seconds. Sam didn't know why he said that, why he needed to remind her how she left when clearly, she already knew, he didn't need to say it again.

"Okay, I'm guessing I deserved that." Andy agreed, nodding for a quick instant before raising her eyes to look at him.

"You wanted to talk to me?" He asked her, crossing his arms on his chest, still standing at a good distance from the young woman.

"I was thinking maybe somewhere else?" She asked him, looking at her hands. "I wanted to talk to you for more than five minutes." She continued, not looking at him.

"I don't know Andy, I don't know if I can do this anymore." Sam told her, keeping his unusual cold voice.

"I thought you wanted to do everything." She said, looking at him, throwing him back the words he had said to her that night; which seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Yes I did, but that was before all… that." He told her waving his hands around her, talking about the deep cover operation and the fact that she hadn't called him.

"Just think about it okay? I'm gonna be at the Penny." She said, repeating the same words he had told her that night.

He nodded and looked at her while she crossed the room, opening the door; she took one more step before stopping to look at him. She gave him a small smile, lowered her eyes to the floor before looking back at him.

"Oh and Sam, you know that night?" She started, letting him the time to nod; answering to her question. "I would've come, if Luke hadn't offered me that job, I would've come." She only said before going through the door, disappearing on the other side.

Sam sank on the closest bench, sighing. It would've been so much easier if she had come that night, he thought. Sitting still for a moment, Sam continued to stare at the door behind which she had left, wondering what he was going to do tonight.

Yes, on one side he understood that she had taken that decision for her career and he couldn't really blame her. He had been the first one to seize each chance he had to go in deep cover to escape real life, but he hadn't done it since she was with him. He just couldn't imagine going through so much time without talking to her or seeing her.

That brought him to his second point, which was that she could've at least told him she was leaving, or told him that yes, she would've came at the bar if Luke hadn't offered her this opportunity. That would've simplified a lot of things. Yes, he would've still missed her, nothing could ever change that, but at least he would've had something to look forward to instead of spending the last two and a half months thinking that she didn't want him anymore.

He sighed again and ran his hand on his face and through his hair before finally getting up from the bench on which he was. Going through the door, Sam made his way to his truck parked outside. His decision was taken, and now it didn't matter if it was the good or the bad one, that's what he was going to do.

Soooo? What do you think? Leave me a review to tell me! :) Review are like little pieces of heaven who help me forget the fact that I'm totally into Rookie Blue&Sam Swarek withdrawal! ;)