Hello again! :D I arrived at home about a couple of hours ago, I unpacked, and then I uploaded my chapter! I wrote it in the woods, and I translated it there too so you would have it as soon as I got out!
This is the last part of this story and I hope you've all liked it! Enjoy that last chapter; we'll meet at the end!
This chapter is dedicated to my RBGFs who all had kind words for me today and who are always there! :) I love you girls! I missed you this week!
Andy put the key in the lock of her apartment and quickly went inside. The room was cold and the young woman turned up the head, opening the light at the same time. Making her way across the apartment, she dropped her keys on her kitchen counter before getting a glass of water from the sink. Taking a sip of it she looked at the hour on her microwave, it was 5.17PM. She had told Sam she would be at the Penny tonight, but she didn't mention an hour, and she really didn't want to miss him; that was if he came, but still.
Drinking the rest of her glass, she walked toward her bathroom. She had talked with Traci for close to a half hour at the precinct and she didn't have time to take a shower before leaving. Andy opened the water and turned up the heat almost at the maximum. Stepping under the warm spray of water she sighed, letting the steam cloud up her mind and the mirror at her right.
She was very much hoping that Sam would come and join her tonight, but she didn't really know what to think, after all she had let him without a word, she couldn't be mad at him if he decided not to come. She quickly washed her hair before using the soap, still lost in her thoughts.
Andy got out of the shower and she tied a towel around her hair before using another one to dry her body and then to cover it as she walked to her bedroom. Going through her drawer, she asked herself what she was going to wear. Not that it was really important but she wanted to have all the luck she could have.
After weighting her options for a few long minutes, she finally decided to wear her favourite pair of jeans, the one that everyone had told her she wore perfectly. Then she grabbed a brown tank top, it was simple but clinging perfectly to her silhouette and it made her eyes even browner. Above that, it also was made in such way that it hide the small bandage she still had due to the shooting. Andy grabbed her vest that was on her desk and her coat that she had left on the couch when she came home.
It wasn't that cold outside, but the nights were definitely starting to be cooler and she didn't want to freeze if she had to come back alone from the bar, although she really hoped that this possibility wouldn't come up and that she could enjoy the heater of a certain truck.
Glancing one more time to the time flashing in the kitchen she quickly walked to her room, opening the first drawer of clothing. She tossed hastily her clothes around before her hand hit the small box she was looking for. Getting it out of its hiding place she opened it, admiring the small heart made of white gold that was hanging on the delicate chain.
She carefully took the lock in her right fingers and lifted up the necklace, putting her other hand behind the heart, getting it closer to her face to look at it as she tried to fight off the tears she could feel starting to make their way to her eyes.
The chain was simple, really Sam-like, and the heart had three tiny diamonds incrusted in the right branch while the left branch was a little bit more artistic. A second heart, much smaller, was interlaced with the first one, almost at the extremity of it. Sam had given it to her for her birthday, an eternity ago.
She remember how he stood there, almost holding his breath, hoping that it wasn't too much. He had understood with the smile on her face that it was just perfect. Smiling too, he had taken the necklace in his hands, slowly getting it around her neck as she lifted her hair. After closing the lock, he had laid a small kiss on her neck, at the place where it joined her shoulder.
Andy closed her eyes again, letting the memory run through her; at this exact moment she hadn't given even a small thought to the possibility that he could leave, but it still had happened not even three weeks later. She remembered throwing the box at the bottom of her drawer at the time, unable to support the sight of anything who had reminded her of Sam. Looking at the jewelry, she finally decided to put it around her neck, lifting her hair so it would lie over the chain.
Going through the apartment in the other way, she crossed the door and locked it behind her, taking a small look at her watch. It was 6.25PM, maybe it was a bit early to go to the bar, but she couldn't wait much longer, and anyway she didn't have anything else to do and she would probably go crazy if she stayed in her apartment for one more minute.
The Penny was almost empty when she got through the heavy door, and Andy went to sit on one of the stools facing the bar, asking for a beer before looking around her. She didn't know anyone, but normally her friends didn't come before 8PM and it was not even 6.45PM now. Andy took a small sip of her beer, wondering how long she would have to wait.
As the minutes went by Andy realized how hard it must've been for Sam, waiting here, and becoming more and more aware that she wouldn't come. The time was passing by slowly and the bar was starting to be a lot more crowded. Andy couldn't stop from turning hastily each time the door opened, hoping it was him.
When her friends arrived Dov asked her to come sit with them, but she gently declined, preferring to stay at the bar and they didn't ask a second time. A man tried to offered her a beer at 8PM and she politely told him no, claiming that she was waiting for someone, not telling him that she didn't know if that someone was going to show up at all.
One beer, three vodka cranberry and two hours later, Andy was starting to think he wouldn't come and she wasn't even turning around anymore when the door opened. She was staring at the bottles across the bar, watching the barman as he served the drinks from time to time, and looking at the bottom of her glass the rest of the time.
She didn't realize right away that there was someone sitting on the stool left empty by its last occupant a few minutes ago.
"Can I offer you a drink?" A voice at her left asked her and her body reacted even before her mind had the time to analyze who was sitting near her.
Her heart started to pound as her ears buzzed, her cheeks becoming even redder than they were before as she turned to look at Sam. He offered her a small smile, not one of those who made his dimple show, no, one of the shy smiles you give when you don't really know what to say. She still smiled back at him.
"I think I'm good with that." She said, motioning her last vodka cranberry half empty in front of her.
They looked at each other for a few seconds and she felt Sam's gaze going up and down her body before coming to a stop on the small heart on her upper chest. He smiled softly, recognizing it. The silence was stretching as neither of them really knew how to start talking, and they seemed to have decided what to say at the exact same time.
"I'm sorry." She said
"Are you okay?" He asked her at the same time.
Looking at the other for an instant, they laughed a bit as Andy told him to go ahead and start. He nodded and he took a sip of the beer he had asked for a couple of minutes earlier.
"I was saying; are you okay? I mean, that." He repeated while making a sign toward her shoulder half covered by her tank top.
She nodded, mindlessly running her fingers across the fabric that was covering her injury.
"Yes, I'm fine." She told him with a smile.
"I'm glad you are." He told him, nodding too as he told her to go ahead.
"I was saying that I'm sorry." She started, looking at her feet for a small amount of time. "I understand that it probably wasn't easy waiting for me and realizing I wasn't coming that night. I'm sorry I put you through this." She continued, finding the force to look at him in the eyes.
"I was probably somehow deserving to end up like Meredith after that stupid Grey's Anatomy reference." He told her with a half serious face.
She looked at him with a puzzled look, raising her eyebrows, silently asking him as he chuckled softly.
"In the middle of season 2, when she's waiting for Derek to show up at the bar." He continued, explaining why he was saying it.
"Yes I know, but." She started, now it was her turn to be laughing.
"Sarah." He only said like it was the answer to everything. "She's forcing me to watch it every single time I go to visit." He explained her, shrugging as he took another sip of his beer.
Andy nodded, finally understanding. Seeing that he didn't seem like he was going to talk again, she decided to be the one to continue.
"You should've stayed that night." She told him, knowing that he would understand she was talking about the night at the hospital.
"I thought you didn't want me there." He told him, his voice a bit colder than it was a few seconds before.
Andy shook her head before talking again.
"No, I was only surprized to see you there." She told him like she would've wanted to tell him that night.
She then saw the comprehension appear in his look and he stared at her for a moment. So much things had happened since they last had the time to talk like that, and she didn't really knew how to tell him how much she was sorry for what happened, how much she hadn't wanted to hurt him. While she was trying to figure out a way to explain it to him, he started talking again.
"Look, Andy, I know you took that decision for you career, and I know I wasn't the most present guy in your life before you left, but still I don't think I deserved being left to wait like that after I had made the effort to lay all my feelings on the table like I did." He started, his tone serious but not really as cold as it was before.
"Sam I…" She started before he interrupted her again.
"I know you didn't want to hurt me, I understood that a while ago, and I know that if it had been me I would've probably taken the same decision. But the last few months weren't the best of my life and I don't know if whatever is going to happen now will change anything." He told her, not able to look at her while he said those last words.
"I'm really sorry Sam." She started, trying to look him in the eyes, wanting to show him how much he needed to believe her. "I had asked Luke for a spot in the task force before all of that happened, and when he asked me, I didn't really have time to think about it, I just said yes. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't have time." She told him as he began to look at her again.
"Still, you could've found a way to tell me about it." He said with a slightly cold voice.
"You know how these things work when they decide to get you under at the last minute like that. The same exact thing happened last time you went undercover, and my message stayed on your voicemail while I waited in front of your door for a big part of the night." She stated, remembering how much she was pissed when she had realized he wasn't coming back.
"It's not the same, Andy, we weren't together back then." He told her, shaking his head.
"We weren't together either when I left." She answered quickly, her voice as cold as his, a bit mad that he was using his cold and reproachful TO tone with her.
Yes, she left that night, but he needed to remember the fact that she had waited for him during six weeks before that. She had tried to call him and he had just ignored her during all that time. He opened his mouth to talk but she didn't let him as she continued.
"You remember that? How you left me in the rain in the parking here?" She said her tone still cold as ice. "I asked Luke for the spot long before you decided you wanted me back, and I couldn't really plan on the fact that it was going to go down like that." She continued, making it a point to look at him in the eyes.
"I know." He finally said, lowering his eyes to the ground, his tone a lot more soft now. "I've apologized for that, and I told you I would do anything to make you believe it. I know I made a mistake, but it seemed like the right thing to do at that precise moment." He tried to explain her.
"What does that even mean the 'right thing to do'? When everyone was trying to deal with Jerry's death, the right thing to do was to break my heart after promising me I wouldn't get rid of you without a fight? I don't understand how that could be the right thing to do." She said under her breath.
Sam looked at her for an instant, he knew that she wasn't completely over what happened that night in the parking of the Penny, but he hadn't given much thought to the fact the she could still be that much mad at him. He thought that she was the one who would've to apologize tonight, but he was now realizing that they were both at fault for what happened during the previous months.
"I'm really sorry for all that Andy, I am." He said honestly, resting a hand on the woman's knee.
Andy jumped a bit as he laid his hand on her, but she didn't move, still looking at him, waiting for a real answer to her question.
"I got scared. I was watching Traci who was completely devastated by what happened to Jerry, and I didn't know what I would do if something like that happened to one of us. I couldn't concentrate on my work, because the only thing on my mind was what I was going to do if something like that happened to you and I was forgetting the rest. I know that it doesn't change what I did, I know now that it wasn't the right solution to that, I'm not really good at those things, you know it." He explained her, not leaving her eyes once.
Not knowing what else to say now Andy continued looking at him. She didn't think he would tell her all of this, him that, normally, didn't really like talking about his feelings, not to her, not to anyone.
"I think we both are to blame for what happened." Andy told him on a voice that was so slow it was almost getting buried in the other conversations going on around them.
"I never wanted to hurt you Andy, and I don't really know what I was thinking then, I just wasn't myself and it was the only thing I could think about." He started before taking a breath. "I finally had to realize it wasn't really working, because even if we weren't together anymore, I was still scared for you, and I still couldn't concentrate on the rest." He told her, talking about the night when he had waited to see if she was alright.
The young woman nodded and took the last drop of vodka resting in the glass in front of her before putting two twenty dollars bill on the table.
"You wanna go outside?" She asked him while getting up from her stool.
She was starting to feel a bit unease in the middle of all those people and she needed some fresh air. On the other side, if she was honest with herself, Andy had to say that she was tired of fighting with him. She had quite enough time to think about it in the last ten weeks, and she had decided she was willing to give it another try, willing to forget everything that had happened before, it was just slightly different thinking about it and really accepting it, but still.
Sam agreed and followed her as she was making her way through the now crowded room. Andy was walking at a reasonable distance in front of him and she didn't turn before taking a step outside. She didn't really know how this evening was going to end up. Yes, she was happy he had come, but she didn't think she was still mad at him for what had happened in this same parking four months ago.
"My truck is parked a bit further." He said pointing the street. "All the places were taken when I got here." He explained while looking at her.
They walked toward it in an awkward silence and Andy really hated those kinds of situations. She still had this question that was hanging on her lips for a few months now and she looked at him softly without stopping.
"Did you really mean it?" She asked him suddenly.
Sam looked at her, raising his eyebrows slightly, wondering what she could be talking about.
"When I was holding that bomb. Or was it just because you were scared we were both going to die?" She said, clarifying her question.
I already told you that Andy, but I'm going to say it again; yes, I really meant it. I agree that it wasn't the best time to say it, but I just couldn't help it. I really meant it, and I meant every single word I told you after that." He continued as he looked at her.
She nodded and her eyes stayed stuck on the buildings at the other end of the street for an instant, still walking. They were walking so close to each other now that their hands were brushing one against the other with each step they took. However, neither he nor she knew how to act about it.
His truck was only a few meters away and they both slow down without having to agree on it, listening to the different sounds that where echoing around them.
"I thought about it a lot you know, when I was in deep cover." Andy started as they came to a stop at the side of Sam's Ford.
"Yeah well, we often have a lot of time to think then." He said with a sincere smile.
"I thought I was ready for it. I mean, leaving my life behind me, being a completely different person for that much time, but I didn't think I was going to miss you that much." She confessed in a small voice. "I don't know how to not be with you." She told him, repeating almost at the word the same thing she had told him after their suspension.
Sam looked at her for a few seconds, but she was avoiding his eyes, looking everywhere except at him. Not knowing what else to say, Andy let her hand brush against the one of the man in front of her and he softly intertwined their fingers together. She could've sworn she was feeling this simple touch in all of her body and she raised her eyes to meet his.
"I missed you too." He said while squeezing her hand a little harder.
"We're Thursday night you know." She told him on a tone he couldn't quite define.
"Yes, I know, why?" He asked him raising his eyebrows, still holding her hand in his.
Andy gave him a look in which he saw a small gleam of hope as she was looking at him for one more instant before finally explaining why she was telling him that.
"Because I have to take my garbage out." She said with a small playful smile.
He couldn't help from laughing as he remembered what he had told her that night. "I'm gonna make you dinner, I'm gonna take out your garbage and I'll walk your dog". He gazed at her as she was waiting for an answer. No, they weren't going to solve all their problems in one night, but they had to start somewhere.
"I forgot." He started, smiling to her. "We don't want that garbage to stink up your entire apartment do we?" He said while opening the F-150 door, holding her hand until she was safely seated on the passage seat before going around the truck, sitting behind of the wheel.
The road between the bar and Andy's apartment was made without a word, but it was already less awkward than earlier. When they arrived at her place he helped her out of the truck and followed her inside. Remembering where she kept her garbage he quickly grabbed the bags and brought them on the street, leaving them where they were supposed to be before going back inside.
Andy was sitting on one of her kitchen chairs, and he stopped in the doorstep, resting his shoulder against the door frame, looking at her softly, not really knowing what to do know. Just as she had read his mind Andy looked at him, deciding to talk again.
"What are we doing now?" She asked him, her eyes full of hope even with everything that had happened in the last few months.
"Ask me to stay…" He breathed, not louder than a murmur.
The young woman pushed herself off of the chair and walked toward him, stopping at a few inches from the door. She grabbed him by his coat and forced him to take a step further so she could close the door behind him. Then she looked at him, her eyes moving between his lips and his eyes before she finally replied.
"Stay…" She said, not louder than him, getting lost in the depth of his brown eyes.
He slid his fingers against Andy's cheek, holding her stare as his hand was going back to lay behind her neck, caressing the skin with the tip of his fingers before resting his other hand on the small of her back. Andy got on the tip of her toes, moving her arms around his neck, still looking at him in the eyes.
Sam pulled her even closer to him, feeling their two bodies melting totally in one another and he lowered his head a few inches towards Andy's. The young woman could already feel her heart beating in her ears as her body was anticipating what was going to come next.
Not looking away from her face, he slightly brushed her nose with his in a familiar gesture. Andy felt her heart melt; she didn't really realized how much she had missed him. Not only the way he was acting with her, but also all those small physical things, like this subtle caress, from the tip of his nose to hers. It wasn't that much a big gesture, but it was so familiar, since the very first night when she went to see him at his place. Since that night, she couldn't help but feel her knees weakened whenever he did it.
Fortunately, Sam was holding her so close to him that she couldn't fall to the ground, her eyes still on his face. She was the one to close the distance between them, resting her lips on his. His mouth tasted of chocolate, beer, and something completely Sam. The kiss stayed chaste in the beginning as the both of them just verified they could still feel it.
Sam slipped his hand through her hair before lowering it behind her neck delicately as he deepened the kiss, using his lip to trace the curve of her upper lip. Andy's heart, which was already beating like crazy, started to pound even faster as she felt she was falling away in this universe where there were only the two of them.
As she got even closer to him, if it was even possible, her hands went behind his neck, stroking the skin at the edge of his hair, losing her fingers in the soft short hair. Her body was going into overdrive as her brain shut; she couldn't seem to get enough of him.
Finally, he backed his head a bit and lowered his forehead against hers; trying to regain his breath as Andy was doing the same thing. Her arms stayed around his neck as Sam was moving his so they would encircle her waist, hugging her as hard as he could. He buried his nose into her hair as she did the same thing. She could feel the tears gathering behind her eyes and she blinked a few time before they disappeared, leaving two dark circles on Sam's shirt.
"I missed you so much." He softly whispered in her ear, his voice a bit shaky, probably just as emotive as she was.
She took a small step back to be able to look at him in the eyes and she smiled. He offered her his 100 watt smile, the one that she had missed so much, the one that made his dimples show. His smile got even wider, laughing softly at the strange portrait they were probably making; standing halfway between the kitchen and the living room, only a few feet from the door, looking at each other as if they were both the 8th wonder of the world.
"At least we still have that." She said without losing her smile, talking about the fact that he was still driving her crazy like he always did.
"I don't that 'that' will ever change, even if we hated one another McNally." He said with a mocking smile.
"You know what I mean, and I don't hate you." She said, finishing her sentence in a slightly more serious tone.
"I know that. I also know that we're not done with all of this, but I can promise you that it won't happen again." He told him with the same serious voice.
"Me too, I promise." She told him, her arms still around his neck.
He looked at her for a few more seconds before Andy pulled him towards the couch, it would be way more comfortable than standing up in the middle of her hallway. As she let herself fall on the couch Sam grabbed the remote control, sitting a few inches at her right. He opened the TV and went mindlessly through the channels, not looking for anything in particular. As he was quickly skipping CTV Andy stopped him.
"Stop stop, go back." She told him, grabbing the remote to go down a channel before putting back the small object on the coffee table in front of them.
Sam looked at her, raising one eyebrow and she waved at the TV. He turned around to see a bunch of doctors, sitting around a cafeteria table. Sam sighed before looking at her.
"Really? Not you too?" He told her without really being irritated.
"You watch it with your sister, so no way you're not watching Grey's with me too." She said as she stuck her tongue out toward him.
Sam laughed softly and smiled to her. It almost seemed like nothing happened in the last few months, but he knew it wasn't the case. They certainly weren't done discussing all of this, and there would still be bumps along the road, but at the moment he didn't want to think about that. He looked at her one last time before nodding, letting her win for tonight, after all she deserved it.
Andy got a little closer to him until their shoulders were touching and he lifted his arm, telling her to come closer to him. She cuddled close to his side, letting her head rest on his shoulder. He breathed in her hair for a couple of seconds before laying a small kiss on the top of her head, snuggling her even closer to him.
What he wasn't telling her right now was that he really didn't care what was playing on the television, he could've stared at a blue screen and still be as happy as he was now. All that mattered right now was the warm familiar body that was nestled against his.
He took a deep breath and she raised her head from his shoulder, looking at him for a couple of seconds with a questioning look.
"Is that normal?" He asked her, talking about the fact that they were back to the same point not even after a couple of hours.
"We tried normal, see what it did?" She told him with a small smile.
He nodded, she was right on that. Visibly she wasn't done yet and she opened her mouth to talk again.
"So we'll try being not normal together, maybe that is what's working for us." She told him as she looked at him tenderly.
He laughed softly before lowering his head to hers, gently pressing his lips to hers in a small kiss, just as if they had done this every day for years. She kissed him too before putting back her head against his shoulder, her eyes going back to the action happening on the screen in front of her.
She was right, he told himself, his attention on the young woman in his arms. He closed his eyes for a second, appreciating the heat that was warming him up all the way to his toes. Sam was so happy that they were willing to give each other a chance, and he was going to do everything so that it would work.
However, at the moment, he just sat there, enjoying what he was feeling right now. Here, on the couch, with Andy in his arms, Sam told himself that there was hope for the both of them, and anyway, he would make sure that there was. Because he would never be happier than he was when he was with her.
So?! How did you find it? Was it worth the wait? I hope it was! Just leave me a review to tell me about it! Pleeease? Pretty please? One last push on that small button right there! Reviews are like little drops of sunshine in my life! And I need sunshine! Seriously… Today we were feeling -12 degrees Celsius with the wind! (About 10 degrees Fahrenheit) so I really need some sun! :P
Thanks again for sticking with me through this story! Hope it made the wait a little better… I know it did for me! But I'm still feeling those Rookie Blue withdrawal symptoms quite hard!