Interlude

"Mmm."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Your voice is turning me on."

Clint paused to glare at the wall, wishing it was thick enough to muffle the voices. Too bad he didn't have his headphones with him. Or a knife to slit his wrists.

"Tony, I'm listing spell components to myself, most of which happens to be a fungus of some sort."

"Doesn't matter. Your voice makes everything sound sexy."

Clint was starting to feel ill.

"Oh really?" A chuckle, and then, in a voice dripping with sex, "Pantaloons."

A low groan. "Oh yeah."

"Really, Stark? Pantaloons? That is a thoroughly unarousing word."

"And yet this man is made of iron, if you know what I mean."

Clint decided to bunk with Steve for the rest of the evening.

Natasha closed her eyes with a contented sigh, sinking back into the lounge chair and allowing the sun to sink heated fingers into every inch of her bikini-clad flesh. With Loki containing his Avenger-related mischief to the bedroom, Natasha finally had time to relax and work on her tan. The balmy breeze felt exquisite, and she dozed.

Then voices and the slap of bare feet on pavement drew her back to wakefulness. She mourned the loss of her perfect stillness as Tony, Clint, and Thor catapulted into the pool, one by one. From the laughter and taunts, she suspected they were competing over who could make the best cannonball.

Men.

Everything's a contest.

Natasha squeaked and shouted curses in Russian as water splashed her on the other side of the patio. Clearly Thor had won the contest.

"Hey!" she shouted, sitting up and clutching the arms of her lounge chair. The boys stopped laughing and looked at her with round eyes. Bobbing in the water, their heads ducked sheepishly.

"Sorry!" Tony offered. Thor mumbled something in agreement.

"Hey, 'Tasha," Clint said, sounding anything but apologetic himself. "Why don't you join us?"

Natasha almost said something mulish in response. Then she looked at the water's sinuously writhing surface, at the way it reflected gem-like glitters of sunlight, and decided that it was deliciously tempting.

She sighed as though greatly put-upon and approached the pool, the pavement hot under her bare feet. The boys cheered and clapped as she approached, and she dipped into a bow.

She made sure the splash of her cannonball hit Thor full in the face. Thor was roaring with laughter when she resurfaced.

"And the lady wins the contest!" he exclaimed, beefy arms spread up and out in triumph. His hair clung to his face and neck like strands of sea-weed, and water clumped his beard into spikes.

She smirked at him and made to say something, only to do a double-take when she caught sight of Tony. This close she could see the purpling bruise that swelled along his left cheekbone.

"What happened to you?" she asked. He had been fine this morning and, to her knowledge, hadn't even left the mansion today.

"Oh, ha, yeah." Tony smiled sheepishly, and touched the bruise self-consciously. He darted a look at Thor, and Natasha's eyes narrowed. "This. I, uh. I was hit by a door."

Natasha arched an eyebrow. "Were you now?" she asked wryly. Idly, she kicked her legs to keep herself upright.

"Indeed," Thor said tightly. His eyes were hard as he looked at Tony. "And do you know why the door hit you?"

Tony's eyes darted about uncomfortably. "Because I deserved it?"

"Yes. Yes, you did."

"Okay," Natasha sighed. "Thor, why did 'the door' hit Tony, exactly?"

Thor scowled. "Because Tony was not being a gentleman to the door's brother."

"No," Tony agreed with a wicked smirk. "No, I wasn't."

"Oh, God," Clint groaned. He pantomimed tying a noose about his neck, made fake, dramatic choking sounds, and then let his body float face-down for a bit.

"So you deserved the punch," Natasha said, ignoring Clint. "From the, uh... door."

Clint righted himself and drew in great gasps of air.

"Worth it." At the darkening look on Thor's face, Tony added, "Hey, in my defense, it was his idea. Plus he was, uh, equally 'ungentlemanly' to me earlier, if you know what I mean."

Thunder boomed overhead.

Natasha and Clint exchanged glances and simultaneously started to swim towards the stairs.

"Okay."

"Yep."

"We're going now. See ya!"

Behind her, Natasha heard Tony say in a small voice, "The door's going to hit me again, isn't it?"

"You're attracted to him."

"Hmm?"

"Steve."

Tony sat back and looked at Loki. The god was sitting on his desk beside him, shin grazing Tony's thigh every now and then, and was helping Tony map out some new designs for the training room. He had spoken casually, as though discussing the weather, but Tony knew there was an accusation somewhere under there.

Tony allowed him a moment to pat himself on the back for making a god jealous. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! Yes, I am just that amazing!

"Attracted, sure," he said honestly. "I'm also attracted to Angelina Jolie and that ridiculously photogenic guy on Tumblr. Doesn't mean I'm going to chase after them."

Loki's expression betrayed nothing. "But have you ever considered chasing after... him?"

"Well, yeah, at first." Tony knew better than to try to lie to Loki. "I had a bit of a crush on him, but mostly because he was so goody-goody that I wanted to see if I could corrupt him."

That earned him a blink of surprise followed by a bark of laughter from Loki. Far better than the jealous indignation and bitch slap he had been expecting. "Oh, Tony," the god chuckled, patting his cheek affectionately. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

Tony wrapped a hand around Loki's wrist and smiled slyly. "Only a reason?"

"Don't push it." But Loki's eyes twinkled with humor. Tony pressed a kiss to the inside of Loki's wrist, just over the pulse point, and he could almost feel the tension easing from Loki's frame. He hid his discomfort well, but Tony knew him too well now and could read relief in the tiniest smoothing of his forehead.

"Besides, between you and me," Tony said, "I think Steve's a virgin."

Loki's eyebrows shot up at that. His lips curled in a cat-like smile. "Really?" he all but purred. "Now that is a shame."

Tony looked askance at the mischievous glint in Loki's eye. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

Loki just smiled.

Steve was loath to admit it, but before waking up seventy years in the future, he hadn't even known it was physically possible for two men to have sex. It just wasn't the sort of thing people talked about back in the day, and even now the logistics weren't something he wanted to think too hard on.

So to speak.

(Tony really was a terrible influence.)

That was probably why this was the last situation he ever expected to be in. He didn't remember signing up for this when he was told to "be all he could be".

And by this, he meant having a certain deranged God of Mischief straddling his lap and whispering things in his ear that would have made his mother blush.

Heck, they made him blush.

"Such strong shoulders," Loki purred, breath hot against Steve's neck as he kneaded clever fingers into Steve's deltoids. "Ever since we fought the other day, seeing the way you... wielded your shield, I wanted nothing more than to watch you move in another way entirely."

Steve's spine was stiff straight, his eyes round as coins. He was too panicked to do little more than blink and gawp like a fish.

"I wonder," Loki murmured, lips tickling the shell of Steve's ear, "if a 'super-soldier' can keep up with a god. Shall we find out?"

Loki's fingers wandered down to his rib-cage, feather-light through his thin t-shirt. Loki's eyes were dark and hooded, promising naughty things Steve probably hadn't even heard of yet.

Steve finally unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth and managed to croak out a question. "What... w-what about Tony?"

His brain was too scrambled to ask or even think of a more relevant question.

"Oh, he'll be joining us, of course!"

A second pair of hands slid down his shoulders and chest. "Hello, Steve," said another, more familiar voice in a sultry purr. He was certain he felt the brush of facial hair against the shell of his ear.

Steve squeaked and jumped to his feet, startled back into action. Loki tumbled off his lap and onto the floor, legs splayed out to either side, and Tony pulled back. Steve edged away from them and towards the door, facing them all the while.

"I – you – just – ! No." Steve made an emphatic cutting motion with his hands. Not one of his more eloquent moments, but he got his point across.

"Oh, Steven, darling," Loki said as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. "You really are too easy to mess with."

Steve bolted from the room, dogged by two sets of laughter.

"Oh God," Tony panted between snickers. He wiped moisture from the corner of his eye. "His face was priceless."

Loki fell back to the floor in a fit of giggles. This was not the evil, self-satisfied cackle Tony was used to but real, genuine laughter that erupted from his chest in tiny hee's. It was rare, it was a treasure, and Tony smiled at the sound. When Loki looked up at him with tears in his eyes, face creased with a million laugh lines, Tony felt warmth blossom through his chest.

"I –" Tony bit his tongue and jolted upright. He had just been about to say "I love you".

And mean it.

Loki's expression turned questioning, and Tony smiled to hide his inner panic. It was just a fluke, he told himself. A manner of speech, like "I love waffles".

Waffles were great and wonderful and made his life better for having been in it, but it didn't mean he was in love with... waffles.

Yes. That was it. Dammit, now he wanted waffles.

"Hey," he said, desperate for a distraction. "Let's do the same thing to Clint!"

"Alright," Clint said with a put-upon sigh. "But no handcuffs or blindfolds, and the safety word is 'flamingo'."

Weeks later, Loki was still teasing Tony about the look on his face.