Author's Note: SOOO do not own like anything... maybe the Narrator... I appreciate feedback! Review and Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Palancar Valley Girl

(He's Getting Serious, Isn't He?)

Narrator: We meet our young hunter and Wilson on the game trail traveling home. It was a ruthless journey, but our hunter made it through with only three bruises and getting poked in the eye once with a stick…

Eragon: (glares at sky) Hey! It's a bow, not a stick.

Narrator: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the village idiot poked himself in the eye with his own bow… But, as our hunter and Wilson draw closer to home, the smell of good old fashioned home cooking and burning dogwood came from the village of Carvahall. Meaning someone :::coughHorstcough::: forgot to chop up the rest of that oak tree in the back yard….

Eragon: (tucks Wilson securely in bag and sighs) I guess Sloan will enjoy your company, but I'll miss you, Wilson…. walks down Carvahall's main street and into Sloan's shop

Sloan: (pauses from chopping up a massive pile of oregano as door dings) What are you doing here?

Eragon: I'm here for more Sloan Pockets.

Sloan: (laughs menacingly and hangs his chefs knife on his belt around his waist)

Eragon: (eyes belt with vast array of knives, wearily)

Sloan: The self-proclaimed 'mighty hunter' is wanting my Sloan Pockets?

Eragon: (in a singsong voice) I have something to trade!

Sloan: (pulls out a steak knife and examines it, trying to look soo evil!) And what would that be?

Eragon: Companionship!

Sloan: (suddenly drops knife-) Ooowwwccchh! (-on his foot) I hope you aren't talking about you!

Eragon: (pulls out Wilson) Meet Wilson, he like long walks in the woods, watching you get poked in the eye with objects, and being vewy vewy quiet!

Sloan: (glares at Wilson and digs knife out of foot) Where did you get him?

Eragon: The Spine gave him to me! (smiles and nods)

Sloan: (points to door with knife) OUT! OUT! OUT! BEFORE THE STONE BEFOULS ME WITH ITS DOOM! Go, or I'll make you go!

Eragon: (hugs Wilson close to him and glares)

Door to shop: (opens)

Horst: (enters shop) What is all the hullabaloo? I could hear you down the street Sloan – thought you right decapitated yourself in here!

Sloan: (stares wide eyed at stone crossing two knives in front of him) Back ye devil stone!

Eragon: He has a name! I tried to sell you companionship and this is what I get? (a tear falls from his eye)

Katrina: (who walked in with Horst) Like total coolness! See, you'll like, have a friend, and Eragon like, so totally cares! Sell him some like Sloan Pockets, totally!

Sloan: I refuse to sell to that – that – him!

Horst: (slaps money down on table) Ah-ha!?! I win, you sell to me!

Eragon: (gasp) Money!

Narrator: So now that Eragon has his Sloan Pockets… and is away from Sloan's clutches and the sharp objects belted around his waist…

Katrina: (skips off toward her and Sloan's house humming to herself, her pig tails swaying in the wind)

Eragon: (holds Wilson out to Horst) Here, as payment… I'll miss you Wilson…sniff

Horst: You keep your companion – the look on Sloan's face was priceless – a 'Haderac Moment' if I must say so myself!

Eragon: Thank you! (smiles and hugs Wilson) Oh, Roran wanted me to give a message to Katrina, could you tell her for me?

Horst: Yes – I could do that for you.

Eragon: Okay. (takes deep breath) Roran says, that he will be here when the caravan comes to trade, and that she has the prettiest eyes and mouth and hair and voice and he likes her lots and he will see her and he dreams about her and she haunts his dreams… sometimes he wakes up screaming… and he makes weird noises and yeah – so do you have that?

Horst: (stares blankly at Eragon) He's getting serious, isn't he?

Eragon: I think? Maybe… Well, good bye, Horst! Wilson says thank you!

Narrator: So Eragon rushes home to his Katrina!Obsessed cousin and Uncle Garrow, the Sloan Pockets weighing him down only slightly. He bounded up the path to his house and his Uncle opened the door.

Garrow: (looking mummified) Be quiet, Roran's finally sleeping…

Eragon: (stares at Garrow worriedly) Did you get hurt? Why are you bandaged?

Garrow: The spontaneous combustion has been acting up again…

Eragon: That's too bad... (they walk into the hut/house) Hey! I want you to meet someone! (pulls out Wilson) This is Wilson, Wilson – meet Uncle Garrow.

Wilson: …

Garrow: You found this in the Spine?

Eragon: (shakes head) No, the Spine gave him to me! He is my friend, I think I will trade him with the caravan when they come… Good companionship is hard to come by so we will get lots of money for him – uh-huh!

Garrow: (pats Eragon on head) You poor thing…. Well, you keep your Wilson for now.

Garrow's Finger: (spontaneously combusts)

Garrow: (sighs) That always happens when I eat raspberries!

Eragon: (blows out the finger)

Garrow: Thank you – well, you should be getting some sleep while Roran is sleeping...

Narrator: Eragon goes to his room, lovingly tucks Wilson into his bed next to him, and lays down to sleep. But suddenly, there is a disturbance…

Noises: (coming from Roran's room)

Eragon: (bangs on wall with his bow to shut Roran up)

Noises: (stop)

Eragon: Aww… better… good night, Wilson! (snore)

Wilson: ….

Narrator: So this chapter ends with-

Noises: (start up again)

Narrator: (bangs on wall with Eragon's bow)

Noises: (stop)

Narrator: This chapter ends with Eragon asleep in-

Noises: (coming from Roran's room)

Narrator: (shouts) What in the bloody hell are you doing in there? (bangs on wall)

Noises: (increase)

Narrator: (shouts over noises) That will be all for this chapter! (bangs on wall) You sick freak!!