Author Notes: Thank you guys so much! You all are awesome and I realy hope you like this one, umm - I don't own Puff the Magical Dragon, but I wish I did nor do I own the phrase: Chicks dig battle scars... Please review and enjoy!!
Chapter 7: A Name Of Power
(Chicks Dig Battle Scars)
A Parody By: Anda Faith
Narrator: So we meet our two idio- I mean - two farmboy's on the trail home…
Roran: I got a job! I got a job! I met a guy named Dempton and I got a job! (dancing around the road with fixed chisel in hand)
Eragon: A job? (gapes angrily) But you're a mere farmboy!
Roran: (shakes head) I want to be a miller! Millers get to make flour and grind and smash stuff! And---- psst, come closer… (motions Eragon to come closer with hand)
Eragon: (leans toward him in anticipation of what Roran is going to say)
Roran: THEY HAVE REALLY NEAT BATTLE SCARS!!!!
Eragon: (jumps back, shaking out the ringing in his ears) Sounds dangerous – battle scars?
Roran: (winks) Chicks dig battle scars!
Eragon: (rolls eyes)
Roran: And Katrina likes her men macho! And millers are macho, macho men! Yeah – and they make MONEY too!!!
Eragon: (excited) Money!?! (smiles) (Ponders this for a moment) (adopts curious gaze) Why do you need money? I hunt, and we trade our PICKLES! We have plenty-
Roran: (looks possessive) It'll be my money! I want to marry Katrina! And I can't marry her without money and a house!
Eragon: (rolls eyes and grumbles) Katrina's such a gold-digger…
Narrator: Back at the ranc- I mean farm, Eragon went to see the Dragon – he approaches cautiously…
Eragon: (tromps through field of decapitated pink flamingos) (trips) (lands on multiple flamingos)
Flamingos: (ATTACK!) (decapitatedly so)
Eragon: (untangles from pile of flamingos)
Flamingos: (squished to death)
Eragon: (peers around tree) Dragon? (brandishes fresh pink flamingo in protection) Are you there?
Dragon: Eragon! (CHOMP)
Flamingo: (soo decapitated)
Eragon: (pets Dragon) So, you do talk… is that the only word you know?
Dragon: Yes. (stares)
Eragon: (rolls eyes) Har. Har. Very sarcastic, mister… you need a name… (face brightens) Oh! Let's play "name the dragon"! (sits on log and thinks)
Dragon: (stares wide eyed)
Eragon: What do you think of Vanilor?
Dragon: (shakes head) No. Eragon.
Eragon: This village ain't big enough for two of us!
Village: (soo not big enough for the two of them)
Eragon: (nods) See - Eragon is my name and you can't have it! (smirks triumphantly) How about Ingothold – I bet he was lovely Dragon.
Dragon: (scowls)
IDEA!: (hits him)
Eragon: (excitedly) Are you Wilson?
Dragon: (shakes head and bats eyelashes)
Eragon: Oh… (sullen frown)
REVELATION: (makes Eragon gasp)
Eragon: You're a girl! Wow! And to think I almost named you Wilson? That would make you Wilma…
Dragon: (rolls eyes)
Eragon: (scratches head in thought) Well, there was Puff, but I think that Puff was male… (thinks hard)
Eragon's Brain: (wheels turning) (gears clicking) (screeching) (slightly smoking…)
Little Gnomes Controlling Eragon's Brain: (working soo hard)
Eragon: (gasp) Are you Saphira?
Saphira: (flaps wings and jumps up and down) Yes!
Narrator: (trips over pink flamingo) Damnit, Garrow! Your obsession with flamingos has gone way too far! (sighs) (ahem) End chapter….