Author's Note: You all are so great! Thank you all for your reviews, without them, this story couldn't be possible - they fuel my insanity! Here's another chapter, I really hope you like it! Please review and enjoy!
A Miller-To-Be
(Ransack the House!)
A Parody By: Anda Faith
Narrator: Later that night, at dinner…
Roran: I got a job!! (accidentally flings fork out of hand)
Wall: (feels the forks wrath)
Garrow: (doubtful look) What imbecile would hire you?
Roran: Oh! Dempton is not from here – he's from Therinsford. I get to be a miller! (does his special miller dance)
Eragon: (digs fork out of wall) Just because you want the battle scars….
Roran: (ceases special miller dance) YES! I! WANT! BATTLE! SCAR! (snatches fork from Eragon)
Garrow: So when do you leave? (sounding very excited)
Roran: Two weeks! Two weeks until BATTLE SCAR!
Garrow: (mumbles) Two weeks until a good night's rest… GOOD!
Eragon: (claps hands) I call to do the dishes!!!
Garrow: You just want to eat the soap bubbles!
Narrator: The next two weeks were very hard. With the impending sadness or elatedness of Roran leaving, the house was starting to feel empty and he wasn't even gone yet…
House: (nearly empty)
Wagon: (very overloaded)
Roran: (packing everything in sight) There, that should be enough!
Garrow: You're only going to be gone for a few months – give me my furniture back!!!!
Furniture: (dragged by Garrow off the wagon)
Garrow's Hands: (spontaneously combust)
Furniture: (FIRE!)
Roran: (smirks) I guess you can have it now. (pulls out sheet of paper) So lets go through my check list!
Garrow: (in the midst of stop, drop, and roll)
Eragon: (just walked out of the house) (sits on furniture)
Furniture: (charred) (smoky) (smoky)
Roran: (observes wagon) Rock collection. Check. Bedroll. Check. CHISEL! Check. Kitchen sink and soap. Check.
Garrow: No, you can't have that! (takes sink from wagon)
Roran: (glares) (grabs soap) The soap is mine! Check. Pillow. Check. Blanket. Check Lawn Ornament. (regards lawn ornament with big smile)
Lawn Ornament: (decapitated pink flamingo)
Roran: Check! Let's see… My 'I love Katrina' tunic. So very check! And since you took all of the furniture and burned it, I can't check that off. (fleeting bitter stare) Oh, yes and my hammer. Check!
Eragon: (curiously) What do you need the hammer, chisel, and soap for?
Roran: Important reasons!
Garrow: (clears throat)
Garrow's Mouth: (emits smoke)
Garrow: Well, I guess this is goodbye! (smiles widely)
Eragon: Woohoo!
Charred Furniture: (big collapse)
Eragon: (falls) (quickly gets to feet) Bye Roran!
Garrow: We will miss you terribly! And I hope you enjoy Therinsford!
Roran: (waves and starts skipping next to the horse drawn wagon) (sings) Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work I go!!!
Eragon: (whispers to Garrow) They won't enjoy him that much. Therinsford will never get a wink of sleep….
Garrow: You should at least tag along to make sure he makes it to Carvahall safely…
Eragon: (sighs) If you insist.
Narrator: So our mere farmboy Roran leaves for an adventure of battle scars and making baking ingredients… with Eragon following far behind him to make sure he gets to Carvahall.(sits on charred furniture) End chapter!
Furniture: (breaks)
Narrator: (flat on back)