A/N: 9th Chapter! Yay! I actually have the next ten chapters written...just looking them over. :)
I'm happy a lot of people are starting to like this story! It's 'a lot' to me anyway. I get I don't really answer reviews...sorry 'bout that, but thank you! It's making me excited! :D
This Chapter's kind of...meh. I had fun writing in some parts, then there were a few others when well...meh.
Read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling, the song "Crash and Burn" is by Simple Plan. All I own is the (ADDED) plot and the Ocs.
Crash and Burn
...***...
Chapter 9
"I never wanted to believe that you could lie,
That friends deceive,
And here I stand I'm still the same,
I watched you change,
You won't come back.
I wonder what it's like to be like you,
To never really care how bad it hurts,
So go ahead and lie and keep moving on,
It's all about yourself and you're never wrong,
I'll watch you crash and burn..."
-Crash and Burn,Simple Plan
Potions was uneventful. Strangely enough.
No. Ever since he'd gotten his Dark Mark off, he'd been feeling strange. Taken off? No...that wasn't it. It was different. More like...modified. Replaced.
The new mark seemed to...make him understand things better. Like his emotions were heightened. He could anticipate things. And he didn't feel completely...Slytherin-like. How odd.
He supposed it could make things easier for himself. Most things. The Patronus charm was one of them. Dementors couldn't quite affect him as bad. He was told to test it out, he had nothing to do with wanting to walk up to a Dementor and hope he didn't get kissed. The only downside was that he had to relearn Occlumency. His emotions were stronger...and a lot less controlled. Made Occlumency hard.
At first, when he had the Dark Mark changed, the effects were immediate. He could feel...more. If that made any sense. Emotions of all sort were mixed together, and he felt like he couldn't hide anything anymore. It hurt, of course, having it all. But what stood out were the emotions.
The one, single emotion he didn't seem to feel at that very moment – was fear. How odd...? Yes, because why else wouldn't he care if Voldemort came and tried to kill him? That's how long gone he was. No, he'd send someone else – someone far less capable. He felt superior, arrogant – he could beat whoever the Dark Lord sent his way. No, fear had left his body at that moment. It was still there, obviously, but it was as if Draco himself had poisoned it temporarily...slowly dying.
"...but to be brave, you first had to fear. Fearlessness and bravery are related, but there was a reason they were two different words..." The words that someone had told him. The one who took his mark and gave him...this. He wasn't even sure what it was called. Just...a mark.
As he was getting the mark, it wasn't like the Dark Mark, where it was just simply burning pain – the same you would feel if summoned. No, this one tapped into your mind...as the man had described to Draco, "This procedure...well...I'm pretty sure it will feel like I've just mind-fucked your head, no wait...mind...yeah, that's right— no, don't look at me like that. You wanted this mark off, and this is the only way."
He wasn't going to deny that he felt as if he were on some sort of hangover afterwards – depression kicked in after, as if some sort of withdrawal from the tattoo's ecstasy.
This emotion shit. It made Potions class a little off. If a potion smelled strange in any way, he would be bombarded with memories and sentiments – half of which he didn't even know he possessed. He was just happy this class (most classes, he was rather happy that this was the case,) didn't have Amourentia, which would really do something for his feelings.
As the class was dismissed, Draco was once again out of his seat in a flash. He didn't have to look behind him to know that there were watchful, curious eyes on him. There was also a pair of eyes that weren't curious, but more...nervous. And he knew exactly who they belonged to.
Granger. He'd been watching her lately, not the other way around. Probably his straight-forwardness the last couple of days. From the look she'd been giving him all class (yes, he noticed), he knew she still hadn't figured out what they were talking about in the Room of Requirement the day before. Draco smirked. The girl was smart and all, but he knew for a fact that she wouldn't figure it out for a good...24, 48 hours? At most a week. Enough time to figure out how to get into her head, just as he had with that Lovegood girl.
Her brain would have to turn off completely for her to not figure it out after a few days, thought Draco after mulling the idea over a few times in his head.
The other pair of eyes belonged to Foster. They'd met over the summer holidays, through a...mutual friend, but he knew there was something wrong with her. Something unseen. Somewhat unfazed. And she knew that he knew her secret. The thing she was going to try and keep a secret until the right moment. And that was when he'd bring it into the light.
She was very good at hiding it, however. Draco knew she had a secret, but no one would believe him. No one...
But Granger, he thought. She'd seen it too. She was smart enough to see past that. Obviously. Not named "Smartest witch of the age" for nothing.
He turned the corner – and ran right into Blaise.
"Oi! Son of a bi- oh. Hullo, Draco," he quickly corrected himself. Draco wasn't in as much a foul mood as he was the last time he'd run into Mr. Zabini in front of him, so he didn't snap. Instead, he slowly nodded, sidestepping and walking around Blaise, jerking his head slightly. The Italian got the message and turned to walk beside him.
As confident as Draco was with the knowledge of his surroundings, he didn't realize the Golden Trio themselves were just rounding the same corridor. There were many students in the hall, it wasn't all too surprising he didn't recognize them. Besides – he was in a conversation with Blaise, so why would he care if Potter, Weasley and Granger were there? It wasn't even important...
"'Mione, I still don't think it's a good idea to use or – bloody Hell, you shouldn't even be carrying that around!" exclaimed Ron. "I mean, Malfoy gave you that otter...thing. How can you trust him?"
"Oh, Ronald. I am pretty sure I'm supposed to...somehow...link that pendant to the notebook, for it to show me anything. It called me a 'Guardian of the Otter' and the pendant has an otter on it. What else is there not to understand?" She paused for a moment. "And did I say I trusted Malfoy? No I didn't!"
"Hey, guys, cool it. I think that's a good observation, Hermione. But...be careful. I get Malfoy hasn't been quite himself – no, what am I kidding, he seems completely mental! I'd be extremely careful if I were you. Everyone's against him. Who knows when he'll snap."
"Harry, stop it," replied Hermione.
"No, I won't," Harry continued. "Why was he allowed back at Hogwarts? Especially after – that incident. And him being a Death Eater. There's no doubt he still is one, with Voldemort still out there. Something's up. Again."
"Harry, will you-" she stopped. Speak of the devil.
Malfoy and Zabini were a little ways ahead of them, seeming to be talking casually. Harry gave Ron and Hermione a look before speeding up (making sure to conceal himself behind a couple other students) and attempting to listen into their conversation.
Hermione gave Ron the same look and followed up behind Harry. Judging from Ron's face after seeing both Hermione and Harry walk ahead to go spy on Malfoy, she was guessing that he was probably going to go off and find something better to do.
A lot of their conversation was muffled, but Hermione was able to catch a small bit of information that could lead to some more.
"About bloody time you told me what you were up to mate," said Zabini. He spoke a little loudly (to the benefit of both Harry and Hermione), gaining him an elbow to the ribs.
"Keep it down," hissed Malfoy. "I don't need everyone to hear."
Harry turned his head to look at Hermione, mouthing, So he is up to something!
Zabini looked troubled. "How is that supposed to change anything though? What's your problem? You've been acting so strange lately." He paused, as if contemplating his next words. Then, "Are you actually planning on not showing up to Quidditch tryouts?" It was whispered, but loud enough for Harry and Hermione to hear. Malfoy shrugged, nodding slightly, unfazed.
Well. That was helpful. In something else. Still not what they were looking for, but Harry was rather surprised by Malfoy not wanting to play Quidditch this year. Less competition. Great. If that was all that he was up to, though, it really wasn't much.
Zabini laughed halfheartedly. "You – you're joking right?"
Malfoy frowned. "No. I'm not. Far from it, actually."
"No way, mate. The Draco Malfoy I know wouldn't give up Quidditch for anything. How do you suppose we're to beat Gryffindor and Ravenclaw in the Final this year?"
Malfoy snorted, most likely at how Hufflepuff was left out of the conversation. "Honestly, I don't really give a damn. I wouldn't have time for Quidditch this year anyway. Far...far too much going on in my head."
Zabini paused for a moment. "What's going on in your head, Draco?"
Malfoy shook it off. "It's nothing. Too hard to explain."
That was an indication that Malfoy not showing up to the Slytherin Quidditch tryouts wasn't what he was up to. No, it was most likely something much bigger.
Just then, there was a SLAM! down the corridor. Both Harry and Hermione began to rush down to see what was going on. Hermione vaguely heard Malfoy mutter "Bloody Hell..." before going to check it out as well (followed by a, very reluctant, Blaise Zabini).
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" they heard someone cry, making them go faster. It wasn't just them. There seemed to be a lot of people who had their heads turned toward the commotion.
"I know you did it!" screamed a very familiar voice. "I know you tried to trip me!" Goyle. Gregory Goyle was yelling at a boy who was...probably in his Third Year? A Hufflepuff too...
Goyle was with Nott and Parkinson. They were watching him with amusement.
"What? No! No I didn't! I swear I... You – you probably – it was – your friend dropped his book! You tripped over that! I didn't-"
"Stop lying!" screamed Goyle. He kicked the kid in the shins and the Hufflepuff fell. There was a groan that came from him. Goyle pulled his leg back as if to kick him again. Hermione was about to scream at him to stop when someone beat her to it.
"Goyle!" yelled Malfoy, walking up to him with an authoritative stride. Goyle stopped mid-kick and looked at his former friend. Hermione couldn't quite see his face, but from the look in Goyle's eyes and the fact that he tensed up, Malfoy probably looked murderous.
"Mal-" He didn't have enough time to finish because Malfoy had pushed Goyle, making the goon stumble. He was definitely not expecting that.
What Hermione didn't expect was that Malfoy had taken Goyle by enough surprise that he didn't just stumble a few steps – he was pushed straight into the wall.
Goyle himself now looked as furious as Malfoy had a couple seconds ago, but if the blond man noticed, he didn't show it. In fact, he didn't seem to be looking at Goyle at all at the very moment. He was shaking, head bent and staring at nothing in particular. If anything, his gaze was to the floor.
Hermione looked over at Harry, who seemed in just as much shock as her. Whether it was the reactions, or because Malfoy had just saved a Hufflepuff from a Slytherin, she wasn't sure.
Without warning, Malfoy shook his head vigorously before turning and pushing past Zabini down the corridor. Hermione watched as Parkinson followed him, calling, "Draco! Wait! I can explain!" to his retreating back. Explain what? wondered Hermione.
Hermione turned to look at Harry again. He was watching Malfoy and Parkinson, as if to check on which way they were going. Zabini went to Goyle and Nott, arguing. Hermione once again glanced over to Harry, when she saw him walking down to follow Malfoy and Parkinson. Hermione went to follow.
They ended up just outside of an abandoned classroom. Harry was just about to open the door when Hermione grabbed his wrist and made a slight movement with her head. As much as he wanted to go in there and see what was going on, perhaps just listening in would work in a situation like this. Besides, Harry and Malfoy in a room alone, both with wands...memories of Sixth Year came back, something no one wanted to be reminded of.
They both gently pressed their ears on the door, attempting to hear as much as they could.
"What the fuck, Parkinson!" growled Malfoy. His voice was low and dangerous, causing Hermione to shudder.
"Draco, what's going on? What happened back there?"
"I can't explain."
"What do you mean, 'you can't explain'? It's not every day that I see you defend a Hufflepuff, let alone a Mud-"
"Don't say it!" hissed Malfoy, his voice cracking slightly at the end. "Don't...say it."
There was a pregnant pause, Hermione felt her breath caught in her throat.
"What happened to you?" asked Parkinson, in a whisper.
"I...nothing. Nothing happened. Are you really that daft? Look at me – I'm still Draco Malfoy."
Another pause, and the way Malfoy spoke his next words were deep, low and...cryptic.
"You know," he forced some sort of laugh, but it seemed harsher than he intended, "someone told me something over the summer. More like asked, really. A test." He hesitated, but continued. "He asked me if I would kill a Muggleborn – at the time, I suppose it was Mudblood – without a second glance? During the war...this war...would you have done that?"
"I...er...suppose so?" said Parkinson, uncertainly. Hermione stiffened but felt Harry's reassuring hand squeeze on her own. She couldn't help but squeeze back.
"That's what I said." Hermione could just hear Malfoy smirking. "And now? Would you kill, say, Granger?"
"Well...no. No, I wouldn't."
There was – once again – Malfoy's amused, yet, strained laugh. "But then," he added, his voice going back to cryptic, "he told me a scenario. A Mudblood guardian, watching over a Pureblood child, no older than a couple of months. Who would you kill, if you had to? Had the choice, I mean."
"What? The Mudblood, obviously," said Pansy, without a thought.
"Sure, I guess," said Malfoy, his voice faltering again. "I said that too. But if you kill the Mudblood, you killed the child, because there is no one else to watch them. And who else knows what bloodline they have?" he asked, his voice gradually rising. "Who else bloody cares?"
He spoke so dangerously now. He was angry. No, more than that...she couldn't quite put it to words. Hermione had goosebumps and needed to concentrate in order to keep her feet planted where they were. "Who else bloody cares whether or not you, or someone else wants to get the truth out of me? I'm not talking, and nor are you. If you value your life so much, so much that you'll even think, about putting some sort of friendship on hold to save your backside, you'll stay away from me."
"You don't understand! You should've seen them! I couldn't even tell who was talking to me, they had a hood up, they were going to kill us or worse! You know exactly how that feels, Draco, don't deny-"
There was a sort of rustling noise, as if Malfoy had grabbed Parkinson, and by the way she whimpered, it was probably by the robes. "That's enough evidence to agree with what he told me next, Parkinson, and it applies for you apparently – You're no different." There was a noise of a table being pushed, and Parkinson gave another yelp, more of surprise than pain.
Hermione and Harry got off the door and hid beside it, praying that Malfoy didn't see them. As the door was pushed open, smashing into the wall, (Hermione was glad at this point that they chose the other side of the door to hide behind) they watched as the man in question stormed out, oblivious to the two eavesdroppers.
Parkinson came out next, a blank expression on her face. She didn't glance to the side as she walked in the other direction – away from Malfoy.
A/N: So. We got a chance to look inside Draco's head a bit. What a confusing head...I barely understood while I was writing it. I had to continuously look over my notes to understand it. Notes of FUTURE CHAPTERS. I EXPLAIN NO MORE. :)
Lol Pansy fell for that little thought. I'm not sure if she really would...maybe...I probably would've... :P
I was actually going to take that part of the dialogue out, but seeing as the rest of the dialogue seemed to flow into it so nicely, I decided to leave it.
Long song quote, wait for it...
The 10th Chapter is called "Downfall" (by Trust Company) and the song quote is:
"Here I stand,
Hold back so no one can see,
I feel these wounds,
Step down,
Step down,
Step down.
Am I breaking, down?
Can I break away?
Push me away,
Make me fall,
Just to see,
Another side of me.
Push me away,
You can see,
What I see,
The other side of me.
Fall back on me,
And I'll be,
The strength I need,
To save me now,
Just come,
Face to face with me..."