Barbara felt that their little adventure had finally come full circle. They'd been captured by possums again, and it didn't seem likely that they would be able to talk their way out this time. Instead of being thrown in a cell, though, they'd been left outside. Their hands had been tied in front of them, and then tied to a long stick, forcing her, Ian, and the Doctor to stand side-by-side. The stick itself had been attached by a long rope to a high branch, giving them enough slack to sit or walk around, but making it impossible for them to go anywhere.
Currently, Barbara was in the middle of a tug-of-war. The Doctor and Ian clearly had plans to escape, but communicating those ideas was more difficult than usual. Whenever any of them tried to move their hands, the stick forced the others' hand to move too, or otherwise curtailed the gesture.
"Well, this is getting us nowhere!" Ian tried to throw his hands up in frustration, "I don't suppose you can reach the knot?" he asked Barbara. She twisted her wrists and arms as much as she could, but she couldn't get at any of them.
"What if we break the stick?" she asked. "I'll pull up, and you and the Doctor push down as hard as you can." Ian supposed it could work, and they tried to convey this plan to the Doctor. After a few tries, he nodded his understanding. "On three," said Barbara, "One, two, three!"
The Doctor pulled up with Barbara, Ian accidentally smacked himself in the face, and they all overbalanced and fell over. As they struggled to get back to their feet, Barbara hoped that Susan was at least somewhere safe.
"...and that's when I tried the emergency systems, but it's an older model craft, you see, and a lot of the safety features aren't entirely foolproof. But we don't have the budget to upgrade and the council never cares about things like inter-planetary shipping hazards unless it's directly affecting them. Easy for them when they've never had to worry about ending up stranded!"
"That's awful!" Susan said sympathetically. Archie, as the creature was called, nodded and went on with his rambling. He was an Ammut, a very large species that resembled an odd cross between an elephant and an aardvark. The poor thing had been making a routine delivery years ago when his ship had malfunctioned and crashed on Bekberry, which did not have the proper technology for repairs.
What Susan had learned, apart from Archie's life story, was that Ammuts had two forms of communication: a spoken language, and telepathy. The entire species were touch-telepaths. As luck would have it, telepathy was a method that didn't require any translations and could work between most species.
Susan had felt the mental connection when he had touched her forehead earlier. All she'd said was "Oh, hello," but Archie had been so overwhelmed that he'd picked her up and hugged her for a good ten minutes, sobbing uncontrollably, before she was able to get him to untie her. Afterward, he went right back to hugging while rambling on at top speed. Under the circumstances, Susan decided that she could forgive being used for a teddy bear just this once. Apparently, Ammuts needed a mental connection with others. If they went without that sort of interaction, it was detrimental to their health. Archie had been isolated for years, and she was the first person he'd been able to connect with in all that time. She couldn't imagine how lonely he must have been.
From somewhere near the stone circle, the drumbeats started up again. The possums had woken up and had just launched into a gleeful dance, causing Archie to shudder. "Oh, no! They're doing it again! Do you know everyone I try to talk to on this planet dies? At least that's what I thought was going on, and I felt absolutely terrible thinking I'd been going around killing people. But then I saw them get back up! They were just faking so they didn't have to talk to me! Do you know what that does to a person's self-esteem?"
"Shh, it's okay." she scratched behind his ears.
"That's the only explanation I can think of. Unless I really did kill them and now they're undead, but it keeps happening and I know you can't be undead again. They're trying to avoid me"
"They're not trying to avoid you, it's just a reflex. It happens when they're scared."
Archie snorted. "They're scared?! This lot keeps inviting me over for dinner every week only to play dead when I show up. And then I can never figure out if I'm supposed to wait for the host or serve myself. Then they all get up and start dancing and I don't know what they want from me! I've got four left feet and they're all on backwards! I never know where I stand with these people. As if it wasn't bad enough that it's almost always dark around here and who knows what else is lurking in the woods...sorry to get so emotional, but it's just been so long and I just want to go home!"
"Shhh..." Susan said again, "It's all right. Listen, we could go talk to my grandfather. I'm sure he'd help you fix your ship."
Archie perked up a little. "Really?"
"Of course! But we need to help him fix his ship first. Those possums over there," she nodded towards the stone where they appeared to have started a hoedown, "they've got a piece off of the ship that we really need. I think all we have to do is go over and ask for it."
"Are you sure? What if they just die again?"
"Please, Archie?" she asked. He hemmed and hawed a bit, but finally agreed. A few seconds ticked silently by. "Archie?" she patted his trunk, "You're going to have to put me down."
"Sorry."
She let him hold her hand as they walked back to the circle of torches. The possums, noticing their approach, hurried over to meet them. Archie tried to hide behind Susan, but with some coaxing she was able to get him to let go and reach out to the possum that was closest. From the look on Archie's face, it seemed to be working. He reached out to her again.
"They like me! They really like me!" he said excitedly, "All this time and I didn't know! And Ted here says you can have the piece back. They've voted you leader. Oh, they all want to talk!" A possum scurried up to Susan and handed her the translation circuit while Archie greeted the other members of the cult, thrilled to be interacting with others.
"Come on, let's get this back to the TARDIS." said Susan. Archie looked over at the path through the forest.
"It's awfully dark out. Do we have to go right now? Can't we wait for the sun to come up?"
Susan didn't want to waste any more time. She thought for a moment, then at her instruction, two of the possums balanced themselves on the ends of Archie's tusks, each holding a lit torch like a set of headlamps. Satisfied with this arrangement, he wrapped his trunk around her waist and swung her up onto his back. Naturally, the other possums wanted to come along, too. Once they had climbed aboard, they started a song.
Earlier, it had taken almost two hours to make the trip on foot. With Archie, it took them only a fraction of the time to reach the TARDIS. Susan carefully hopped down and, after assuring him that she wouldn't run off and leave, went inside the ship. It couldn't be that hard to fix the translation circuit, could it? She'd spent a lot of time watching Grandfather tinkering with the console. Surely she could reattach this one piece? With the sound of singing possums floating in through the door, she set to work.
Normally, things like trials and interrogations took place in the courthouse, but due to the current situation it was decided that the proceedings would be held outdoors. That, and since the population was getting restless, General Blackburn wanted to get things over as quickly as possible, so he would be interrogating all five prisoners at once. In about an hour, the area in front of Town Hall had been converted into a makeshift courtroom. Blackburn would have preferred this to be a private affair, but the crowds were determined to stick around to watch.
Besides, it wasn't as if anyone was going to get anything done tonight.
Eventually, it was time for the trial to begin. The Doctor, Ian, and Barbara were escorted to the front of the court, wrists still attached to the stick. Somehow they managed to sit down. Next to them were Maude and Private Fritter. A few guards were stationed around them, mostly to keep everyone else from crowding.
Barbara nudged Ian. "I think those possums over there are glaring at you. The ones with the handbags..."
"Don't look at them!"
"What?"
"Just don't. Anyway, it looks like whatever's going on is about to start." His hands jerked up as Barbara went to scratch her nose. Beside them the Doctor started to say something. Suddenly, Barbara an odd pressure in her head. Her eyes crossed and everything felt yellow for a moment.
"...absolutely ridiculous!" said the Doctor, "This whole situation has become nothing more than a farce-"
"Doctor!" exclaimed Barbara.
"Well, there is simply no point to all of this! As far as I can tell, it's mindless military posturing."
"No, I mean you're speaking...we can understand you!"
He stopped for a moment as he realised what had just happened. "So you can! The translation circuit must have been repaired, but how?"
"You don't suppose Susan...?" Ian began.
"Impossible!" said the Doctor, "Where would she have found it? And besides, she wouldn't have had time to go back to the TARDIS."
"What if she ran really fast?" asked Ian. The Doctor gave him a Look. "It was only an idea."
"Could the ship have repaired itself, then?" asked Barbara.
The Doctor shook his head. "No, no. It cannot simply grow a missing circuit. And we don't have a spare. It can only be fixed by someone who has the necessary knowledge, who can get into the TARDIS, and of course has the translation circuit itself. Susan, most likely."
Ian threw up his hands in frustration, causing a wave down the stick. "Of course!"
"Well, now, who else could have done it, hmm? And I'll thank you to not make such reckless motions, Chesterfield. I don't suppose they'll bother to untie us for this..."
There was a sudden commotion near Town Hall and a hush fell over the crowd as General Blackburn came out of the building followed by another possum in black robes. "All rise for the honourable Judge Greenwood." announced the General, "Except you three. Took you long enough to get seated to begin with."
"It would be much easier if we weren't trussed up like this!" The Doctor retorted. Blackburn raised an eyebrow.
"So! Maude and Murray were telling the truth after all. You'll be released once I'm certain that none of you pose a threat to this planet." he said. Whatever the Doctor was about to say in reply was cut off by the judge shouting for everyone to sit.
"We will now begin tonight's trial." she announced, "Due to unusual circumstances, proper court protocol has been modified to fit this occasion. However, this is still an official event. All those in attendance who are not involved with this trial are to remain silent and respectful. Anyone being disruptive will be removed from the premises. Understand? Good. Now, the charges are as follows," Greenwood cleared her throat and began reading off a set of papers, "Maude- willful distribution and publication of classified government documents. Private Fritter- disobeying orders and aiding and abetting. The three aliens...three? I though you said there were four?"
"The fourth's run off." said Blackburn.
The judge nodded and went on, "The three aliens- twenty-three counts of assault of an officer, causing a massive public disturbance, seven counts of battery to civilians, and desecration of a flag. We shall begin with Private Fritter." she turned to address the nervous soldier, "Private, you have heard the charges against you. How do you plead?"
"Um..."
"If it makes a difference," Barbara spoke up, "I coerced him into helping me escape." Ian and the Doctor just stared at her.
Greenwood looked back at Fritter. "Is this true?"
"Well, yes..."
"In that case, I see no reason to continue this. You're free to go, but you are to report to your commanding officer for formal discipline." A guard stepped forward and undid the handcuffs. Fritter nervously scurried away, pausing to mutter a quiet thank you to Barbara.
"Now, Maude," said the judge, "How do you plead?"
Maude, who had been uncharacteristically silent, quickly replied, "Not guilty! I swear, I was just looking for some typing paper and I found the documents. There wasn't anything official written on them or anything! I just thought it was a story my father wrote. I didn't know what it was. But what harm has it done? Nobody's panicking. Society's still going. People seem open to the idea of aliens nowadays. Is it really as bad a thing as that?"
The judge turned to Blackburn. "You're the one pressing the charge. Do you have anything to add?"
"It's not a matter of what harm's been done," Blackburn began, "but of what this might lead to. Yes, we've had Twolegs show up and nobody's started a riot yet, but there's still the possibility of other aliens landing here. With this sort of lax attitude, we're likely to open ourselves up for attack. Now, these Twolegs haven't caused the sort of damage like the ones fifty years ago, but we can't be sure of any others. In fact, I've got a few questions of my own for these three."
"All right, then. You three: you all have heard the charges against you," said Greenwood, "How do you plead?"
"Not guilty!" they said at the same time. The Doctor gave Ian and Barbara a look that meant something along the lines of 'iI'll/i handle this, thank you!'
He turned back to the judge. "Not guilty," he said, "Are we allowed to say anything in our defense?" When she nodded, he went on, "As I have said repeatedly, we are peaceful travellers and we have no ill intent toward this planet or its people. I regret that we seem to have caused so much trouble and so much damage, but one of ours had been kidnapped and we've been trying to sort out this misunderstanding ever since." His seriousness was underwhelmed only a little by Ian and Barbara unavoidably mimicking his gestures.
"I'd find this much more sincere if the one in the middle would stop abusing that flag."
Barbara's eyes widened. "They stole my clothes!" she exclaimed. At this point, the Doctor had to quickly explain the concept of clothing to the judge, who sent somebody off to retrieve the missing articles.
"All right," said Greenwood, "While we're waiting for that...it's obvious to me that you're capable of explaining yourselves. Why couldn't you have done this earlier?"
"In my ship, there is a device that allows us to communicate with you. I'm afraid it had been stolen shortly before this ordeal began, otherwise we wouldn't be having this trial."
The judge was about to ask something else, but there was a loud shout from down the street. Everything stopped as everyone turned to watch as a very angry Kita dragged her daughter by the ear all the way to the front of the court.
"Mum!" wailed Rikki.
"None of that!" she snapped, coming to a halt in front of the Doctor, "Are you the one with the big blue ship, then? Well, I'm afraid my daughter's nicked your whatsit. Caught her coming home early this evening, she'd been out with that group of hers, but she didn't have it on her. Said somebody stole it from her! You know how kids are. Don't know what to do with this one. She takes after her father, you know. He was always getting into trouble like this. Anyway, Rikki is here to apologise." she shoved the smaller possum forward. "Well, go on!"
"M'srry" mumbled Rikki, looking like she desperately wanted to disappear. Her mother nudged her harder, "I'm sorry!" she squeaked.
"That's more like it! I'm sorry we don't have the thingy to return to you, but I'll be keeping an eye out for it. And if it's really gone, I'll pay to have it replaced." With that, she turned and dragged Rikki back the way they'd come, grumbling all the way. For a few moments, everyone was silent, unsure of what to make of that.
General Blackburn stepped forward. "If there are no more distractions, I have a few questions of my own." he said, "First of all, you claim to be the Doctor. Is that right?"
"Yes, but I don't see what-"
"Fifty years ago, when our planet was dealing with the chaos caused by a ship full of Twolegs, there was one person known as the Doctor, who with another called Sarah-"
"Susan."
"-came to help and ultimately saved us all from destruction. You claim to be him, but you don't look like him. I remember what he looked like."
"Well, it was a long time ago. Perhaps your memory is a little fuzzy?"
Blackburn sniffed. "It could be." he turned to Barbara, "And I take it you're Sarah?"
"Susa-no, Barbara." she corrected herself.
"There's no record of you. Or this one." he said, indicating Ian.
"They're travelling with me," said the Doctor, "and they're perfectly harmless, if you're about to ask for a character reference."
"I was only-" Blackburn started to say when there was a sudden commotion from somewhere down the street. "For the love of...what is it this time?!" There appeared to be a stampede of some kind going on. Possums everywhere were panicking and attempting to flee as a very large something turned a corner and headed straight for the court. As it drew nearer, members of the crowd either scurried away or slipped into defensive comas. The Doctor, Ian, and Barbara tried to stand, but tried to move in three different directions at once and ended up in a heap again. They managed to right themselves in time to see Susan riding on top of the creature along with about a dozen robed possums.
"There you are!" she said, "We've been looking everywhere. Guess what we just did!"
There was a moment of silence, then from somewhere in the crowd Kita shouted, "Ted?! Is that you? Ted, you come down off of that and come home right this instant! Do you know what your daughter's gotten herself into?!"