Hiya! I'm back! Now... Let's see what to do with those poor little kiddies... Muahahaha! Now... I WILL BE EXPECTING REVIEWS! If you don't review, you get a zombie Yassen Gregorovich on your trail. Understood? Good.

... Damn, that rhymes!

PG BREAK

Alex Rider was very bored. He'd been stuck in a car with Fox for almost 3 hours straight. And on top of that, it had taken Alex exactly one hour and forty-five minutes to persuade the man to stop driving like a drunkard and to stop cursing Google Maps. Then when the MI6 agent had calmed down, he and Alex had talked about school, and sometimes touched on missions. Unfortunately, whenever the subject came up, Alex quickly brushed it away. Now they were silent, and all the teenager could think of, as he stared out the window, was the file taking refuge in his bag. Then Fox cut into his thoughts with a cry,

"We're almost there! Just another half hour or so." Alex groaned, and decided to annoy Ben,

"Oh dear Lord, will I ever survive?" He asked the car roof while trying not to laugh.

"I'm driving the car, you know. I can kill us both." Alex raised an eyebrow sarcastically. "Okay... Maybe that wouldn't be such a good revenge tactic..." Ben trailed off.

"Oh really? I never would have guessed." Ben snorted at Alex's reply, then his face became serious,

"Listen, Alex, there are rumours flying around SAS camp about you." Ben paused. "Not about you, as in, Cub. Everyone's talking about the teenage spy said to be named Alex Rider."

"What? I mean, I like... Look, what exactly do the rumours say? And do K-Unit know?"

"Well, the legend says-"

"Wow, I'm a legend," smirked Alex. "Now you have to look up to me!" Ben grinned at the spy's ability to make wisecracks at even the most serious of times.

"Anyway, Alex, K-Unit doesn't know... Though I think Wolf has an idea..." He saw Alex nod on the edges of his vision. "Anyway, Snake called. He told K-Unit that 'Alex Rider was coming'."

"What? Really? Did he mention that I was Cub?"

"No. The phone was on loudspeaker, by the way. So we could all listen. Anyway, I think the conversation went something like this:

PG BREAK

Eagle: Hello?

Snake: You know that one of those school kids is joining your unit today?

Wolf: Damn kid... Should know better than to get a damn suspension...

Snake: Whatever. Well... I met the kid... He goes to the school I work in...

Eagle: Cool! You can give him F-minuses for that! ... Ow, Wolf, that hurt!

Snake: Shut up Eagle. Anyway... It seems his name is Alex Rider...

Tiger/Eagle/Wolf: Not THE Alex Rider?

(All look at eachother while Ben shifts around)

Snake: I think so... I had a look at his absences and they all line up perfectly with the times of his missions.

Eagle: Al-ex Ri-der! Al-ex Ri-der !

Wolf : Shut the hell up if you value your life.

Eagle:….

Snake: And another thing….

Wolf: Yeah?

Snake: Nothing… Just be ready for a surprise…

PG BREAK

"They'll be in for a surprise all right," Alex sniggered.

"Yeah. They sure will. And, Alex, the rumours are pretty… 2D; you see, all they consist of are: The number of missions, which is 9, and the time they took place. No-one knows where though. The other small pieces of information circulating is the fact that you are fourteen, and you allegedly got trapped in a tank with a deadly jellyfish, snowboarded down a mountain on an ironing board, stopped a nuclear bomb detonating, went into space, dived down the Bora Falls, nearly got fed to crocodiles, and got waterboarded by the CIA. Is it all true?"

"Yes." Alex's voice was icy and his eyes were cold, while Ben's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"What? I mean, I know that you infiltrated the Snakehead, and got involved with Scorpia and everything, but it's all true?

"Yes."

"And you got waterboarded by the CIA?" Alex nodded silently,

"They thought that because I was a British spy that I was going to kill the Secretary of State when she made her anti-Brit speech in Cairo."

"And the other things…?"

"Don't ask." Ben nodded, thankfully being smart enough not to approach these issues.

"Look, Alex, I can see the camp! Just up there!" Fox indicated with a wave of his hand," We'll be there in a minute."

Great, thought Alex Rider, One minute to 3 weeks of hell.

PG BREAK

"On your feet!" Yelled the sergeant, whose face was now the colour of a tomato. Alex tried to bite back a laugh when he saw Wolf rapidly let go of his book and try to jump up so fast that he banged his head on the bunk above. Alex failed, and gave a loud snicker, causing Ben to smile, and the Sarge to wheel back to face him.

"You do NOT laugh at your Unit Leader, Cub!" The man roared into his face, before stalking off. "I'll leave you to it." Wolf and Eagle's jaws promptly dropped open when they saw Alex standing jubilantly in the doorway. Eagle was the first to speak-sorry, shriek.

First the idiotic man screamed like a Justin Bieber fan, then nearly deafened anyone within a 50-mile radius with a hysterical yell of,

"Oh my God! Cub is Alex Rider!" Everyone in K-Unit snickered at Eagle's expense when Alex replied,

"Wow, Eagle. I never could work that out for myself!" Even more humiliating was that he used the tone of voice you would have when talking to a toddler. Which, mentally, the SAS man seemed to be similar to. Eagle pouted angrily.

"So…Cub," said Wolf hesitantly, "You gonna tell us about all your wonderful adventures?" Alex fely a sense of anger overcome him. He had come to SAS camp so that he didn't have to be Alex Rider for a while. Not Alex Rider, the superspy. Not Alex Rider, the druggie. Just Cub, the SAS golden boy! But he didn't let Wolf see that.

"Sure..." he replied smoothly, then glided over to a man he didn't recognise. It was a slightly tanned guy with black hair and... amber eyes? "Hi. I don't think I've met you before..."

"No, you haven't. I'm Tiger," the enthusiastic man introduced himself. Now that he was talking, Alex could see that his canines were unnaturally sharp. Hmmm... Maybe he could direct the attention towards Tiger rather than himself...

"So why have you got amber eyes and sharp teeth?" Tiger smiled as if in on a private joke, which Alex found out he was.

"Everyone asks me that. It's contacts and... sort of... braces thingies. I do it so that people get freaked. Especially civilians. Unfortunately for me, you didn't get freaked." Tiger sighed, but not sadly. "Would've been funny if you had."

Alex was about to think of another question to ask Tiger, but Wolf had seen what he'd been trying to do.

"Enough of that, Cub," he snarled. "Now open up!" Alex wheeled round and gave him a hard glare.

"No," Alex responded, his tone of voice making him seem almost inhuman. Then he was back to normal, but still with a icy quality. "Anyway, shouldn't we be doing the obstacle course or something?" Then Alex Rider stormed off, Ben on his heel, with a dazed Wolf, Tiger and Eagle bringing up the rear.

PG BREAK

Alex had beaten his time on the obstacle course. It was down from 17 minutes to 10.

"Wow..." Commented Tiger as Alex crossed the finish, "That's pretty damn fast..."

"Really?" Alex puffed, walking round so that his muscles wouldn't seize up. Eagle went over to Tiger's side and looked at the stopwatch, his face immediately lighting up in awe.

"And, the amazing Alex Rider-"

"Cub!" Eagle looked chastened as Alex snapped at him angrily, then calmed down. "It's Cub, alright?" Eagle nodded dumbly and resumed his commentary, but with less enthusiasm.

"And, the courageous Cub finishes the course in a record-breaking time of 10 minutes! No fifteen year old has ever gone so fast before!" Alex glared,

"Oh yeah. And I really thought I had actually made it into the top rankings." Tiger interrupted,

"Slow down, Cub. Some people have been here for years and they haven't managed a time like that."

"Really?"

"Really."

PG BREAK

The rest of the day was pretty simple- for an SAS training day, that is. They'd done sprints, hikes, survival techniques, first aid... Just the basics, really. Alex stretched. He'd never admit it, especially as it was only his first day, but he was pretty tired. He went and washed his face and brushed his teeth along with the rest of K-Unit. Then came the problem of changing into his pyjamas without the others seeing his wounds... He couldn't just turn his back to him because he had the burn marks from Kenya...

"Hey, Cub?" It was Wolf.

"Yeah?" Seemingly knowing what he was thinking, Wolf gestured to a curtained-off space.

"You can change in there if you like."

"Thanks."

PG BREAK

Then when Alex walked out, fully pyjama-ed and ready to just switch off for the night, the others decided to pounce on him.

"WTF is going on?" Yelled Alex, as they pinned him down on his bunk.

"Language, Cub," scolded Wolf, "Now you're gonna tell us all about your missions."

"Ben! Help me out here!" The MI6 agent looked at the floor and twiddled his thumbs.

"Well, Alex... I really... kinda... wanna hear what you have to say..."

"How would you feel if this was you?" Fox sighed.

"Well, I've told them about my missions anyway..." Alex growled angrily. He really wished he could just throw them all to the ground. He was seeing red. He kicked and struggled and lashed out, but it was no use. Someone had found some rope and tied his arms and legs to the bedposts.

"Let! Me! Go!" Alex roared.

"Not until you tell us about all 9 of your missions," countered Wolf.

"No. Way. In. Hell," spat the enraged teen, still struggling against his bindings, but only ending up with rope burn.

"We have all night."

"Nooo.." Whined the blonde, flopping up and down miserably on the bed. He really wanted to go to bed; it had been a tough day, and he needed to be prepared for more tomorrow. Alex supposed he could just try to go to sleep. Even though the ropes were uncomfortable, he'd still be able to drift off. He'd done so in worse situations. Alex would be asleep and there'd be nothing K-Unit could do about it. He closed his eyes. And found out about ten seconds later that he was wrong.

TOOOOOOT! Alex's eyes snapped open as Eagle beeped a horn right into his ear.

"What the hell, Eagle?" The superspy was now so deeply annoyed that if he'd been free, Eagle would soon have become nothing but a heap of broken bones.

"Sorry," murmured the SAS man, sulky at having been chided by the great Alex Rider for the second time that day. Unfortunately, this set the Unit leader off,

"Eagle! You're not meant to apologise! We're supposed to be getting him to speak up, remember? Not giving him the happy-land treatment!" Then Wolf turned back to Alex, "Just tell us already, would ya, Cub?" Alex was close to despair now. He looked away.

"Stop asking me about my missions," the teen looked away, and his voice was so unemotional and commanding that even Ben was stunned, but it was upset and pained at the same time, "When I am at SAS camp, I am Cub. Not Alex Rider, okay? Not a superspy. Just another member of the unit," he was growling now, rigid.

Everyone stood in an awkward silence. Then Tiger spoke,

"Okay, I guess we'd better let him go." No-one moved. Tiger sighed, and started untying Alex from the bed. Wolf suddenly unfroze himself and helped.

As soon as Alex was free, he stormed out of the hut.

"Hey, Cub, where are you going!" Wolf bellowed after him.

"For a walk," snarled the enraged superspy. He was furious at himself. How could he have let a bunch of SAS men get to him? He was, what, the world's best superspy? He should easily have been able to whack himself free! Alex needed to get rid of his pent-up rage. He stalked off to the firing range.

PG BREAK

K-Unit sat in awkward silence. They were all reflecting on their actions and all felt strangely ashamed. Then they heard a shot ring through the night.

"What was that!" Asked Wolf rapidly, jumping up in defense.

"Probably some losers with no hand-eye coordination practicing at the shooting range," replied a dejected Ben. There was another momentary silence before Eagle spoke up,

"What if it's Al- Cub?" Tiger's head jerked upwards at the thought.

"We'd better go check if it is! Darn, the kid could accidentally hurt himself! I mean, you can't just leave a fifteen-year old with a gun!" Wolf nodded.

"Let's go."

PG BREAK

Alex was in a blind fury. He shot out magazine after magazine of bullets, never ceasing once. Even though so many thoughts were swirling round his head, he still got every single bullet bang-on target. He was mentally cursing everyone he'd ever hated.

This is for you, Herod Sayle. Another for Fraülein Vole. Wouldn't want to leave you out, now would we? Hugo Grief, Eva Stellenbosch, Sarov, Conrad... Cray, Nile, Julia! Everyone in SCORPIA... Oh, yeah, and especially Dr. Three and Major Yu too. Damn, that rhymes... Drevin and Kaspar can both go to hell, along with their minions. Antony Sean Howell-Some Godfather he was. Desmond Mc. Cain, Myra Bennett, oh, and of course the Chinese triads. And especially Razim and Julius Grief... How could they do that to Jack?

On this last thought, Alex fired even faster and even harder, with more hatred he'd ever had before.

He was so absorbed in his shooting that he didn't notice the four stunned SAS men standing in the door.