Hi! So here is the second (and final) chapter. It's an epilogue 6 months after the first chapter.
I will warn you, this is not what you're expecting to read, because it's not what I expected to write. But flame reviews? Come at me. This chapter explores a side of this fandom that isn't ventured into often. It's also a very real option for Season 4 that none of us are trying to think about, but for this particular story, it seemed right. So I will defend it to any and all reviewers who find the need to trash-talk me and/or my writing or story.
It's glaringly obvious when she walks through the parade room doors 10 minutes late that this is not the same Andy McNally that left 15 Division six months ago.
Instead of being apologetic of disrupting Frank and sneaking in with minimal notice, this Andy walks straight in with a grin on her face. And then when the applause starts for her and Nick, instead of turning tomato-red in embarrassment and hiding behind her hands, she and Nick bow. It's obviously planned, but still.
Sam can't get over her new-found confidence. She walked into the room like she owned it, and this new Andy is so utterly surprising and shocking and… amazing, that Sam just can't take his eyes off of her.
Frank eventually quiets everyone down enough to welcome back Nick and Andy before resuming parade and announcing the partners for the day. Andy and Nick are paired together, which isn't really surprising, although Sam wished it was him.
He's waiting for her in the locker room when she gets back to the barn after shift.
She doesn't even falter when she sees his figure sitting on the bench in front of her locker, instead choosing to walk right up to him.
"Hey Sam." She says flippantly as he slides over so she can open her locker.
"Hi, McNally." He tosses out his infamous smirk.
"How you been?" She takes off her tie.
"I've been good, although I was a little confused when you didn't show up at parade the day after you stood me up." He cocks his head awaiting her response.
"We're really gonna hash all of this out right now?" She says as she unbuttons her shirt. "I mean, I can understand a few days from now, or even tomorrow, but really? I've been back in 15's territory for less than 24 hours."
"Now's as good a time as any." Sam shrugs.
"Fine." Andy pulls her t-shirt over her head, leaving just a black sports bra. She throws her shirt on the floor of the locker and turns towards Sam. "I called you 2 days after I left. No one was even supposed to know I was UC, which is why Frank didn't say anything until you forced it out of him."
"No one knew where you were! I sat at the bar both nights, hoping you'd show up."
"I never said I was gonna be there, Sam. I told you in the hall that I couldn't do it anymore."
"But you would've called."
"Maybe." Andy unbuttons her pants, sliding them down her legs and stepping out of them.
"Can you stop stripping?"
"It's nothing you haven't seen before, Sam. And it's not like you're in the women's locker room or anything... Oh wait."
"Okay, I'm taking the hint. I will be at the Penny, meet me there in half an hour."
"What if I don't show up?"
"Then someone will be knocking on your door at 3 in the morning."
Andy purses her lips and squints her eyes at him as he walks out.
He's already sitting at the bar nursing a bottle of beer when she arrives, and he holds one towards her when she slides onto the stool next to him.
"6 months ago, I told you I would do everything in my power to prove to you that I'm worth it." Sam says.
"Yes, you did. But 6 months ago, I told you that I had to let you go." She looks at him.
"I meant what I said." Sam replies.
"So did I."
"We are seriously screwed up, you know that?" He asks her.
"I do. It seems like our entire relationship we've done things backwards. Well, not really backwards, but it's like we drew out of a hat, and just said, 'this is what we're doing next!'"
They both sit at the bar, beers in hand, staring silently at the shelf of bottles in front of them.
"I don't want to plead with you if it's a lost cause." Sam breaks the silence.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to beg you for another chance if you've already made up your mind to move on. It's breath that neither of us needs to waste."
"That… is actually really true."
"So where do we go from here?"
"I don't know, Sam. Honestly, I feel the same way I did 6 months ago."
"In what way?"
"I would still marry you tomorrow if the opportunity presented itself. But Sam, sometime between Jerry's death and now, we just… changed. We don't work like we used to. We walk on eggshells around each other, trying to say the right things, and be the right person. Instead of just being happy being ourselves, we're conforming to what we think we need to be for each other. That's not right."
"No… it's not."
"We're different people now, Sam. You can't just lose one of your best friends, and then break up with the person you would marry in a heartbeat right before being separated for 6 months, and not change. We want different things. You want to make detective and be around your parents and sister more, and I… I don't know what I want. Before all of this happened, I just wanted something permanent. I wanted someone who wouldn't let me go. But this experience… I just can't explain it.
"You want more of the rush. You want to know that you're helping people instead of just riding around in a cruiser. You don't want to be held down. You want to see places and do things that the old Andy would never consider. You want the chance to be nothing but you. You may be playing a different person, and have a different name, but in playing a part, you let parts of you that normally never come out shine their brightest. You may not be able to describe it, but I can."
"Exactly." Andy whispers. "For the first time ever, I actually know who I am. I know how strong I am, and I know what I can do. I've always lived my life by the limitations that are given to me. I never challenged them. I'm just now realizing that I never truly lived."
"Whatever you choose, I understand."
"I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I really just need to slow down and be me for a while. Maybe someday we'll look at each other and decide to try again, or maybe we'll find someone else. It's all an unknown right now, and for once, I'm okay with that. Whatever happens between us, I want us to always be friends, and always be there for each other."
"I want that too. But what if someday I look at you and I know that I can't be just friends with you anymore?" Sam looks over at her.
"What if someday I look at you and get tired of being just your friend?" Andy returns his gaze.
"I asked you first."
"I asked you second." Sam laughs at Andy's retort.
"I guess we'll just take it one step at a time." Sam throws out there.
"I guess so."
"I'm glad you're back." He says.
"Well, it's not for long. Luke is working on another UC."
"So soon?"
Andy just shrugs.
They sit in silence for the rest of the time it takes them to finish their beers. They both sneak glances every now and then, but for the most part, they remain lost in their own thoughts. Andy sets her bottle down and stands from her stool. She grabs her jacket off the bar and shrugs it on, while Sam watches.
"You need a ride?" Sam asks.
"No," Andy smiles. "I'm gonna walk. It's been awhile since I've seen this part of the city, I kinda just want to reintroduce myself."
"Alright then." Sam says as he stands up. He holds the door for Andy before exiting the building himself.
"Goodbye, Sam." Andy says.
And once again, neither of them truly knows what that means.
A man walks towards his truck, wondering if things will ever be the same. More than once he looks over his shoulder towards the lone figure walking in the opposite direction. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs as he steps up into the cab. The woman walks down the sidewalk with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, taking in the trees she has memorized and the houses that always stood out to her. She delights in the scenery she didn't realize she missed so much, and looks forward to coming home to her own bed. But the one thing she doesn't do… is look back.
Like I said, I will defend this if need be, because I rather like it. All I ask is that any flamers (because I know there will be some) don't hide behind anonymity.