Part of her knew that she shouldn't be laying here, head in his lap, sobbing helplessly while he stroked her hair, telling her that it wasn't her fault.
But it didn't really matter what he said...she'd come here with the sole purpose of keeping Matthew alive and she had failed. She'd watching him being ripped to shreds, fighting against Ian's grip on her, trying desperately to reach her best friend and unable to break free.
"Just leave me here," she told him once her sobs faded into uneven breathing and sporadic hiccups, at the peak of her self-pitying. "Or better yet, put me out of my misery. I've got no reason to stay alive now that Matthew is gone."
In a moment of weakness, he found himself wanting to apologize for having lead her friend to his death. More and more, he found her getting under his skin and he was angry at himself for letting himself become invested in her.
But he let the moment pass unheeded. "Youare your own reason to stay alive," he told her sternly. "You have nothing left to prove to Matthew or anyone else – you did your best to protect him, but you knew from the beginning that he still only had a one in twenty-four chance of surviving. That's not on you."
She remained unconvinced.
"What about for me, Love?" he asked gently, kissing the palm of her hand. "Would you stay alive for me?"
She stared at the spot where the touch of his lips seemed to have burned into her skin for what felt like an eternity before she looked up to where his eyes were waiting, trained on her as if she were the only thing in the world that existed in that moment.
When she looked into his eyes, she couldn't help it. She nodded and felt her eyes inexplicably filling with tears again as he kissed her.
Emily fell asleep that night curled up against him, her head on his chest and he was very much conflicted.
He knew he was letting her get far too close. He'd gone into the agreement with her mother with the plan that as soon as it was wise to get rid of her, he would kill her just like he'd killed so many other tributes.
What he hadn't counted on was her finding a way past his walls and his guards and planting herself firmly in his head. He hesitated to say that he was falling for her because admitting it would make things so much more complicated, especially if his plan was to kill her in the end.
He was starting to doubt that he would be able to do that when the time came. He was also beginning to wonder if that hadn't been her mother's plan all along, knowing that he would plan to kill her and that he wouldn't be able to.