I do not own EUReKA. But I do in my virtual world.
Blame It On The Hormones
Chapter 5: Planting the Seeds of Doubt
"Would you hold still." Jack scolded her again. "If you want me to finish, you have to stop fidgeting."
Allison giggled helplessly as she eased her foot back within his grasp. They were seated on the couch, relaxing after a long day at work–another Eureka crisis having been averted. Allison wrapped up some paperwork, they'd all eaten dinner, then watched some television. Presently, Kevin was up in bed, fast asleep while Zoë occupied the guest room, finishing up her homework. In reality, it was more likely she was on the phone talking to her best friend Pillar.
Allison jerked her foot back once more. "I'm sorry, but it tickles."
"Unless you want nail polish on your entire foot, I'd suggest you don't move a muscle." Jack pretended to sound stern, but the smirk on his face told her differently.
She tittered not only from the sensation, but also because she thought he looked absolutely adorable as her lifted her foot and lightly blew across the freshly painted toes. No man had ever done anything as romantic as this for her. Sure she'd gotten roses, fancy dinners, and jewelry, but none of that compared to this. For her it was the little things that mattered most.
She'd missed her pedicure appointment due to an unforeseen emergency in town, which they'd managed to contain in a reasonably short amount of time. So, after they'd settled in for the evening, Allison attempted to perform the task herself. Though she was head of GD, an impressive force in her field and one tough cookie, she also liked being a girly-girl. She took great pride in her appearance making sure she always looked flawless no matter the occasion. So as she sat down on the couch she threw her legs up onto the middle cushion and tried in vain to apply the polish. Her now significantly round stomach hindered the ability for her to paint her toenails. Jack was perched on the opposite end of the couch and every so often would snicker at the difficulty she was having.
She glared at him from her position. "I don't see whats so funny."
"I do. You obviously can't do this by yourself, so instead of asking for help, you'd rather sit there and struggle."
"Well, it's not like my manicurist is here to do it for me."
Jack just shook his head back and forth. His own shoes already off he threw his legs up on the couch and placed her's between his.
"What are you doing?"
"What do think I'm about to do?"
"Oh no, I don't think so."
Jack cupped his hand, but when she didn't pass the bottle to him, he reached over and clutched the top and reluctantly she relinquished control allowing him to take over. As she watched him so diligently perform the task, Allison thought about all the years she had missed out with him. She'd had mixed feelings when the thought crossed her mind, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. All she knew was that when they weren't together, she missed him dearly. When she heard his voice her heart skipped a beat. When he touched her, her body quivered. She knew she'd been in love before, but never like this. It was hard for her to quantify into words. Allison was never one to believe in fate or destiny as she based facts on what could be explained scientifically. She often felt guilty these days that she didn't think of Nathan more often. She was too busy relishing what she had in front of her now. She was thankful for one thing though, what she and Nathan created was divine intervention, she knew that now. She would never doubt again that she should have faith that things work out the way they're supposed to.
As she placed her feet back on the floor, she admired the job he'd done. She hated to admit it, but she couldn't have done a better job herself. Giving him a wink showing that she approved, he slid over and enveloped her in his laid his hand over her belly, lovingly rubbing it as she tucked her head in the space between his chin and shoulder. His head leant a top hers, his thoughts gradually strayed.
He couldn't get the conversation he'd with Tess out of his head. Whenever he and Allie talked about their partnership, they never spoke about what would happen when the baby arrived or what part he'd play. Surely she knew that he would love this baby as if it were his very own, and maybe that was the crux of the matter. What right did he have to assume that she'd want him to have any input in how she raised her and Nathan's child. Yes, she told him she would stay with him for however long he'd have her, but what did that mean? It was as if she were leaving it to his discretion. As if she wouldn't fight for him if their relationship where to fall apart. Jack knew he was being paranoid, and he didn't want to admit it, but Tess's words cut him deep. He knew he should have voiced his concerns with Allison right away, but this was one time he didn't rely on his gut.
He needed to talk to Tess, and the sooner...the better.
Once he and Zoë arrived home, he headed straightaway to his bedroom and plunked down on the edge of the mattress. His PDA held tightly in his fist he contemplated making the call at all. For one thing, he didn't want Tess to get the wrong idea. He was fine with the idea of remaining friends, but he didn't think it appropriate for them to hang out as she'd suggested. The problem was he couldn't get over the overwhelming urge and need to satisfy his curiosity. It wasn't like he needed her opinion, but she new Allison far better than he did. In the back of his mind something kept nagging at him, but he couldn't readily identify it. Besides, what harm could it do to just talk to her?
Jack took a deep breath and instructed his phone to "call Tess." He was about to hang up after the fourth ring when she finally answered.
"Hello."
"Tess, hi."
"Jack?"
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"No, I was just getting out of the shower."
A picture of Tess's naked body flashed in his head causing him to feel guilty and shameful at allowing the thought to even occur.
"Oh. I can call you back tomorrow."
"No, no. It's okay. I'd love to talk to you."
Jack was glad she couldn't see him grimace as the word love fell from her mouth. Suddenly he felt he was making a huge mistake, but he continued on.
"I was wondering if I could ask you something."
"For you Jack, anything."
Ignoring the emphasis on the word anything, Jack nervously cleared his throat and began. "I wanted to know what you meant."
"Meant? About what?"
"When you spoke about Allison the other day. There were some things you'd said, that I admit had me concerned."
Jack waited patently for Tess to answer. When she sighed heavily he knew what she had to say wouldn't be good.
"Jack, I don't feel comfortable talking to you about what she told me in confidence."
Jack was shocked. When had she spoken to Allison? Was she referring to before or after they'd gotten together?
"I understand and I wouldn't normally ask you to betray a confidence, but I need to know."
Silence again greeted him.
"Jack I think we should meet."
"What? Tess, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Just to talk. What I have to tell you is important and you need to hear this face to face."
So, he begrudgingly agreed to meet her after work at her place. He didn't want to talk at Café Diem–too many ears. Global Dynamics wasn't appropriate either–too many eyes. He sure as hell couldn't bring her to his place and there was one reason why–S.A.R.A.H. Though she didn't technically belong to him, she was still required to follow his commands and instructions. Problem was, since he and Allison had begun dating, S.A.R.A.H. felt inclined to put in her own two cents. Jack knew she was only trying to be helpful, but there was no doubt in his mind that she would freak out if Tess stepped foot in his house ever again. On many an occasion since they'd started dating, S.A.R.A.H. expressed how happy she was that Sheriff Carter was finally with the woman he'd had a crush on for the past three years. That's if a computer could be happy at all.
In fact, Jack hadn't told anyone about their rendezvous. He couldn't tell Allison, Zoë, or Jo. The women in his life would be none to pleased. He couldn't tell Fargo, Vincent, Andy or Zane. He was close to them but not sure they wouldn't let his secret slip and Andy just wouldn't lie if asked a direct question. The one friend he surely could have in-trusted was Henry, and the only reason he didn't seek his opinion was because he was sure he'd try to talk him out of it. So, Jack moved forward with his plan. He told Allison he had something to take care of after work and wouldn't be over.
Allison, who had no reason to doubt his word, said she'd see him tomorrow never giving it a second thought.
Jack arrived at seven and parked his jeep around the corner from Tess's house. She was staying in a one story ranch on Copernicus circle. Sure he could have easily pulled into her driveway, but the more inconspicuous he was, the better. He felt like he was sneaking around and that didn't sit well with him but it was too late to back out now.
Tess greeted him with a huge smile and reached up to hug him. Awkwardly he reciprocated praying that no one saw them. She ushered him in and Jack was surprised to see she had laid out a dinner spread for them. Seeing the confusion on his face, she assured him that this was just dinner, nothing else. She just thought while they talked, they could eat, besides she was starving. Jack apologized for being so defensive and settled in. The first half hour they ate and chatted about the recent goings on in town which was a relief to Jack that they were at least civil to each other. Maybe Tess had been sincere, contrary to Allison's beliefs and as the minutes ticked by Jack felt more relaxed. As the hour passed he knew he should get to the real reason for his visit.
"Tess, I know that I'm asking a lot of you and I hate putting you in this position."
"Jack like I said, I'm coming to terms with the situation. Al and I have been friends for a long time, we're like sisters and sisters do fight. Right now we're taking baby steps, but I honestly want her to be happy and if that means she's happy with you, then so be it. I'll just have to deal with it."
"Wow, that's mighty big of you, and I want to let you know, I'm not asking you to betray Allison. I just need to put my mind at ease."
Jack's stomach flipped as Tess reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. The sensation he felt wasn't pleasant. All he could hear in his head was one particular catchphrase – Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
"Jack, believe me. I want to make sure that Allison finally gets everything she deserves."
The undertone of her statement completely bypassing him, they talked well into the night. Jack learned about Allison's pre Eureka years. Her time with Tess at college and how they became such good friends. Tess told him about Allison's first husband–Kevin's father. Allison rarely spoke about him and Jack didn't want to be intrusive so he never pried. Tess told him how she and Nathan met, well in actuality, Tess had met him first and how their marriage fell apart. Then Jack asked the one question he was dying to know–had Allison ever spoken to Tess about him. The look on her face told him all he needed to know. He didn't know why he expected anything different. After Tess's revelation, Jack didn't hear much more of what she had to say. He couldn't understand that she wouldn't tell her best friend in the world about him. Isn't that what best friends do? Confide in each other about their secret desires and dreams. Okay, maybe she didn't because she was unsure of her feelings for him. Allison told him that she'd always loved him, but to not speak of or even mention him at all was a bit unsettling. Jack figured he'd heard all he needed to, thanked Tess for being so honest with him and promised that she'd always be a friend to him.
On the ride home he contemplated calling Allison and letting her know about contacting Tess. If he told her that, he would have to tell her about them getting together. He was sure she wouldn't be happy, but hopefully she'd understand why he did it. He loved her more then words could say, he just needed to know unequivocally that she loved him too. The closer he got home, the more he'd convinced himself that he had every right to do what he did. He recalled the time he and Leo Weinbrenner were stuck in a time loop, the untimely demise of Nathan Stark the result. In one trip after following his sister's advice, he confessed his love to Allison only to have her tell him that she loved Nathan and Jack had at last given up. Thinking back, if she'd always had feelings for him like she'd said, why hadn't she declared her own undying love to him then. No, it wasn't meant for him to stay in the particular time and yes Stark would have been hurt, but at least he would have know for sure.
Jack didn't know what if anything he would do with the information he'd found out. For now he'd store it in his memory banks for future use. He'd asked Tess not to say anything to anyone about their chat, especially Allison and Tess vowed to never breath a word. In the grand scheme of things, did it even matter how he and Allison came to be. Only he and Tess knew what transpired, so Jack decided to put it all behind him and move on to his future with Allison.
The week progressed with no further mishaps or accidents, which wasn't uncommon as they did have periods of inactivity in the disaster area. As far as all were concerned, it was back to business as usual. Jack, Jo and Andy spent the majority of their time handling disputes between spouses and neighbors. Accusations of adultery, dogs pooping on lawns, kids riding hover boards in unauthorized areas, stuff like that. At least it broke up the monotony. While his team devoted themselves to town issues, Allison was busy putting out fires at work. She'd had to deal with disgruntled lab partners. Allegations about theft of idea and design. She had to reprimand a scientist about his faulty work and slow progress on a project, then held a video conference call with General Mansfield. In addition, keeping Zane on the straight and narrow as he still continued to have disciplinary issues, who really seemed more of a jokester than anything else.
The topper of them all was the interaction she'd had with Tess.
She and Tess had been keeping a safe distance from each other. They only interacted when absolutely necessary, a fact which had not gone unnoticed by their friends, townsfolk or GD staff. They were both smart women and knew their roles, so they always remained professional. Allison did notice there was something more...annoying about her today. It was almost as if she had one upped her somehow. She would throw Allison side glances and smirk as if it took all of her strength to maintain her composure and not laugh out loud. In all, she'd had one of her most trying weeks, a fact that didn't escape Jack's keen sixth sense.
As he usually did these days, he dropped in on her at the end of the day whenever he was nearby.
"Hey, you."
"Hey."
Leaning over he kissed her lips. "You okay? You look tired."
"I'm beat. Issues with staff, projects, Mansfield. My back hurts and she's been kicking me all morning, so I'm getting it from all directions."
Jack walked behind and massaged her shoulders. He could feel the knots in her muscles and that's when inspiration struck.
"Say, why don't you come over tonight?"
"I can't. Kevin's babysitter is out of town this week."
"How about this. I'll have Zoë sit with Kevin then you can come over and have some relaxation time."
Allison craned her neck to view him, an appreciative smile on her lips. "Ooh, that sounds sublime. I think thats a wonderful idea."
As Jack headed out the door, he assured her that he would take care of everything.
So, as soon as Zoë arrived at her house, Allison took off for Jack's. She couldn't contain her excitement at the thought of spending some quiet, uninterrupted time alone with him. When she reached the bottom of the bunker stairs, she noticed that the door was already open. It all seemed a bit eerie as no light emanated from inside. Well, that wasn't exactly true. A soft blue light had been created that radiated from inside. She called out to S.A.R.A.H but got no response. What she did notice as she took several tentative steps in was a trail of rose petals. They made a pathway from the front door and up the stairs. All Allison could do was smile. It was such a cliché thing to do, but she adored him for it. She followed them up, past Zoë's room, down the hall and into his bedroom where they ended on his bedsheets. There on top lay a folded notecard which simply read – Put me on...and nothing else – accentuated with a smiley face.
Allison grinned from ear to ear, as she happily obliged and removed her clothes slipping on the soft white terry cloth robe. She figured she was in for quite a treat as she pulled her hair up into a knot and headed inside. She entered the bathroom to him standing before her.
At this moment Jack was so thankful that he'd had the foresight to have his own private bath built off of his room. His first year here he'd shared the one and only bathroom with Zoë and whomever else stayed at their house. Some years later he requisitioned a basin and toilet be added upstairs. When Jo moved in with him after her own house was blown up by an errant missile, he'd had the room remodeled so that it now contained a shower and tub. In actuality, a shower and tub didn't quite describe what had been created by the ever brilliant and creative minds of the Eureka design team. It was a contemporary space that echoed the overall theme of the rest of the house. Of course S.A.R.A.H. was featured heavily in the planning to make use of her technology. Though it was spacious, it still felt cozy to him. The sleek slate floors and walls, double vanity, the chroma-therapy infinity tub that lead to a clear glass walled shower enclosure which was big enough to easily hold six full grown people. There was a luxury steam shower with adjustable flat panel nozzles strategically placed on the walls and even contained a rainfall shower head if he was so inclined to use it. It was truly a master bath.
Jack made sure the atmosphere was perfect. The lights were dimmed, scented candles set the room aglow as soft music played in the background.
"Jack, what is all this?"
"You mentioned how tired you were, so I thought I'd pamper you tonight. I ran you a soothing hot bath and all you have to do is sit back and relax. When you get out we'll have a candlelight dinner, sit by the fire, then...whatever. Tonight, it's all about you."
"Jack this is so thoughtful." Allison crossed over and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "You are so sweet."
"You know I'd do anything for you Allie."
Jack wheeled round making a quick check of the area before setting off.
"Okay, I'll be downstairs getting dinner started. I asked Jo to stop by the house later to make sure the kids were okay so, you have nothing to worry about. Now, do you need anything else?"
Allison paused as she surveyed the area. "Yes, you."
Jack knew he heard her correctly, but still he was taken off guard. Pointing at himself, he had to make sure she was talking to him. "Me?"
Allison didn't answer aloud. Her reply was nonverbal as she allowed the robe to drop to the floor.
Jack stared in awe – she was magnificent. Besides, he was no dummy. She didn't have to ask him twice.
Once he'd removed his own garments, he held her hand as she stepped into the bath. Sliding in behind her, Allison reclined so that she lay between his parted thighs. They fit seamlessly like a lock and key. There was no need to readjust the temperature as S.A.R.A.H kept it at a perfect one hundred four degrees. Allison leaned further back, seemingly sinking into him, if that were at all possible.
Her tension's eased, Allison moaned in delight. "Mmm, this is heaven."
Jack kissed her neck while his sudsy hands languished over her. Her hands on top of his, she guided them over her belly, both of them laughing as the baby made little flips. It wasn't like before when she kicked relentlessly, interrupting what was shaping up to be their first time. Jack didn't mind that they hadn't done the deed yet. It would happen when it was supposed to. As they luxuriated in the tub, Jack took extreme pleasure in the fact he could touch her wherever he pleased. Rubbing her now ample bosom, he decided to savor this moment. Jack never had anything negative to say about Allison's looks. She was perfect to him, from the top of her head to the soles of her feet, but that didn't mean he couldn't take advantage of the changes in her body while it was traversing the various stages of pregnancy. In class they'd done some reading up on the phases of each trimester.
Jack missed much of her first trimester, which meant he was absent for the hormonal changes, the morning sickness and her overall fatigue. He would have without hesitation gone through the experience with her if only she'd asked, regardless if they had been a couple or not. The second trimester had him embedded in the role as her birthing partner. This was the period when they'd both felt the quickening. They were in class, Allison resting between his cocked and spread knees. As his hands rested on the sides of her stomach, they felt the baby move for the first time. Glee overtook them both as they shared this very special moment. This was also the period when she really began to show. Allison felt self-conscious, but Jack thought she'd never looked more beautiful as the glow of pregnancy shone over her face. Now that they had reached her third trimester the excitement of nearing the finish line was apparent. Allison experienced periodic contractions, her breasts had grown a full cup size and she was what they found to be a strange twist, more sexually aroused. Those perks aside, Jack was elated and down right grateful that he was participating in this momentous event alongside her.
They had been in the bathtub for well over an hour, their dinner and appetites all but forgotten. They'd lapsed into relaxed conversation, Jack entertaining Allison with some of the more...ill-advised decisions he'd made in his youth. It was all very lighthearted as they gained a better understanding of each other.
That's when the shit hit the fan.
Allison had begun telling him of a particularly embarrassing and personal moment in her life in an attempt to bond with him. Then Jack did the unthinkable and mentioned information that he should have had no knowledge of.
He knew he'd stepped in it when she froze and slowly turned on him.
"How did you know that? I never mentioned that to you." Her bewilderment that he knew was conveyed by the reaction not only on her face but within her body language.
Jack stumbled for an answer. "Are you sure? I mean you must have."
"No. I'm sure I didn't. In fact, only one other person knew about that particularly unpleasant period."
Squinting, Jack could see her evolution of emotions from confusion, to shock, to irritation, to pure unadulterated rage.
Jack swallowed hard trying to figure how he could justify his familiarity of the situation.
"Okay, now don't get mad."
When she scowled at him, he reluctantly continued. He couldn't lie to her now, he never should have in the first place.
Jack appeared pain stricken as he winced before uttering his next few words.
"I was with Tess last night."
Jack was lucky she didn't have laser's for eyes as he undoubtedly would have had holes burned through the back of his skull.
"What do you mean you were with Tess last night? I thought you had things to do...or was she the thing you had to do?"
Shaking his head vigorously, that was the last thing he wanted her to think. "No, no, no! It wasn't anything like that."
Allison promptly stood and climbed out of the tub, water spilling over the sides and into the hidden catch.
"Allie wait, just listen."
Allison pulled on her robe, her back still to him. "Okay, explain."
"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to upset you. Especially while you're in this condition."
He murmured more to himself than her. "Guess that didn't work out too well."
"I had a moment of uncertainty. Not that you didn't love me, but why you didn't tell me before. I'm not blaming you. I know I was never direct with you either. I admit I let Tess get in my head. We talked last week at Café Diem and I should have told you. She mentioned that I was at the top of a short list as far as birthing partners was concerned. Then she so conveniently reminded me that if Stark hadn't died, we never would have gotten together."
Jack knew as soon as he said the last sentence he'd made a critical error.
"So instead of coming to talk to me, you go to her. Have her tell you private information about me? What are you doing, a background check?"
"It's not like that. I just...I needed to know. I needed to be sure."
"You had so little faith in us that you needed reassurance from her. So, you didn't believe me when I said I loved you?"
"Yes, of course I did. I...this is hard to explain."
Jack climbed out of the tub and threw a towel around his waist. As Allison started to storm out of the room he reached out, grabbing hold of her arm in an attempt to stop her.
"Please Allie. I never meant to hurt you."
When she turned he saw the tears in her eyes. He felt like the biggest asshole in the universe.
"Why didn't you come to me? Didn't you think I'd be honest? I would never go behind your back. So, instead you go to my former best friend who, despite my deprecation of at the present time, you seek out."
"Allie, she's trying to come to terms with this. This is hard on her too. She's trying to make amends for her behavior toward you. She believes you and she are mending your friendship. She only wanted to help."
"Are you serious? You cannot be that naive."
"I'm not being naive. I'm just trying to make the best out of a difficult situation that happens to affect all of us."
"Well, you don't know the real Tess like I do."
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what, nothing. Just forget I said anything."
Allison strode into the bedroom and snatched her clothes off of the bed. "I'm changing in Zoë's room, then I'm going home."
"Allie wait. Please, let's talk about this."
Allison continued forward with him hot on her heels. "Don't follow me."
"Allie..."
She spun on him but it wasn't anger he saw, it was disappointment.
"I mean it Carter!"
Jack sat on the bed with a thud, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."
Jack didn't hear her leave. He laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, silently berating himself.
What had he been thinking? How could he have been so stupid? He didn't want this to ruin their relationship. They'd only begun and he had recked it. He would understand if she said they shouldn't see each other anymore. Yes, he'd understand, but it'd break him nonetheless.
Jack didn't know when or how, but he'd make it up to her. He loved Allison more than life itself. Not only would he tell her, he'd show her.
He couldn't lose her now. He just couldn't.
Next - Chapter 6: You Reap What You Sow