Death Club:What the hell happened last night?

(also known as: HOLY FUCKING SHIT EVERYBODY'S FUCKING PREGNANT?)

Antarctica woke up with a killer headache in a too-warm, too-bright room.

"Mmph" she groaned and tried to roll over.

Note:Tried.

She was stopped by a tangle of arms and a body with the familiar scent of earl gray tea.

Did she mention that the body was naked?

'Okay... So I fucked Britain last night. I'll just roll the other way." she thought to herself and tried to roll the other direction.

Note:Tried.

This time she was stopped by a body that smelled vaguely of pastries and fish.

And, because fate hated her, this person was naked too.

And Antarctica was almost naked, save for her arm warmers.

She blushed heavily as she put together the vague memories of last night.

Tequila, and lots of it.

Sitting on the bed.

Britain and Portugal... oh.

Oh.

Oh.

That's what happened last night...

Antarctica got up slowly, somehow not waking either male up.

She gathered her clothes and went to her room quickly. She put on some underwear, snowflake sleeping pants, and an Antarctican flag tank top.

She went downstairs and started cooking breakfast.

Eventually, England and Portugal came down, wrapping their hands around her waist and kissing her neck.

She swatted at them with the spoon she was using and shooed them away.

Ignoring their pouts, she cooked a breakfast that was fully stocked with Bacon, Eggs (scrambled), and Belgium Waffles.

She grabbed the maple syrup and put it on her food. They both stared at her, amused, as she sat there.

"Wha?" she said with her mouth full, mildly annoyed.

"Don't talk with your mouth open."

"You're covered in hickeys~"

"Fuck you both." she said, blushing.

"You already did~"

Antarctica threw a piece of bacon at Portugal.

~x~X~At, like, America's house!~X~x~

(like three months later)

"Mai~ When do you want the baby shower?"

Vietnam groaned.

"Not now Al. Not for another 2 or 3 months."

Al pouted. "Why so far away Mai? Oh that rhymed!"

"Because that's when I want the baby shower to happen."

"I wish that you would let me get a sonogram."

"Really Al? You don't need one. Unless I knocked you up like Hungary knocked Austria up."

"That's not what I meant! I meant that I wish that you would find out more about the little one inside."

"I'd rather that it be a surprise. We'll love them no matter what."

"But that's not fair! What kind of gender clothing should I get our baby? What color? I won't know anything!"

Vietnam chuckled.

"You already don't know anything! They're going to wear green. Green and red."

"Christmas colors?"

"No. Pretty colors. Green, red, purple, yellow, white. But I refuse to allow our child to be ruled into the "blue/pink" category. I refuse. And if you can't find enough American clothing, then I have all of my old clothes."

"Hand-me-downs?"

Vietnam smacked her lover upside his head.

"They are in perfectly fine condition, shows how much you know!"

America whined.

"I'm just trying to be your hero..."

Vietnam wrapped her arms around him. "You are my hero already, no need to try."

America pulled her onto his lap and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I love you~" he sighed happily after they pulled away from each other.

~x~X~At the Italy couple's/brother's house~X~x~

"Hey Romano~ Where are you sweety?" Italy waddled around his house, looking for his boyfriend/lover.

He heard a groan from one of the guest rooms that hadn't been used in a long time, the one farthest away from Italy and Romano's bedroom.

Italy waddled there worriedly and rested a hand on his stomach.

Yes, Italy was pregnant.

Nope! This ain't no etch-a-sketch, his ego is prego.

He went to the doctor this morning and found out that it was a little girl.

He couldn't wait! She was Romano's child, and he couldn't help but want to tell the father immediately.

"Romano~ I have good news! I'm not fat I'm pregnant! It's a girl!"

Italy trailed off slowly as he entered the room at the end of the hallway.

"Romano?"

The two men in the room were too busy fucking each other loudly to hear little Italy.

Italy picked up the first thing he could grab, which happened to be a book from the bookcase next to the door, and threw it at them.

It hit Spain in the arm.

He picked up more things, another book, a dusty picture frame, a glass globe.

Romano yelped and stood up.

"Italy! Bastard stop! It's not what you think!"

Italy felt tears pour from his eyes and backed away from Romano.

He turned and ran.

Romano caught his arm.

"Italy! Stop that! Just listen to me!"

Italy turned around and slapped his fratello.

"Of course it's what I think it is! You would be lying to say it wasn't! You were fucking him Lovi! You were fucking him and cheating on me. Do you know why it's considered cheating, mi fratello? Do you know why?"

Romano started saying something, but Italy slapped him again.

"Don't interrupt me. It's called cheating because we're married. We are bonded together, and you go and do this? What the fuck is wrong with you? I came home to tell you that I am pregnant and that the baby is a girl, and that she's yours, and I find you fucking him?"

Romano stared at him, dumbstruck.

"Yes Romano, I am pregnant. I am not fat, as you constantly say, I'm fucking pregnant. With your kid. And here you are, being irresponsible and unfaithful. I don't want her to live like this. I refuse to let you do this. If you care about me and the little bambina inside of me, then leave Spain. Never talk to him unless it's business, never give him a hug or a kiss, and certainly do not fuck him!"

Romano gulped. He knew that when there wasn't a 'Ve~' in sight, things got dangerous.

"I-I'm sorry Venciano, I really am. I do care about the baby, but I won't leave tomato bastard."

Italy blinked slowly.

"Get out of my house."

Romano felt a look of disbelief cross his face.

"I said, GET OUT!"

Italy screamed the last part and shoved Romano away from him.

"GET OUT GET OUT GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!"

Romano ran to their bedroom and packed a suitcase.

He went to Spain and dragged him out of the house.

"What's wrong?"

"Italy is pregnant... and I chose to stay with you."

Spain's eyes widened. "While I appreciate the thought, shouldn't you have stayed with little feli?"

"But I don't love him."

"Well, mi amigo, it's obvious that he loves you. And he needs you more than I do right now."

"But I don't want to lead him on! I can't lie to him. Besides, he doesn't want me around after what he just saw."

"Give him a couple of days. You can stay at my place until he cools down."

"Alright. Thanks tomato bastard."

xD And that's this chapter! Whoever can guess who dies next gets a hug from Iggy~ Reviews=Cookies for Yao, Francis, Ivan, Raivis, and Natalya!