Theodore Laurence was sitting in his girlfriend's bedroom, messing on his iPhone. Amy was taking far too long to put on her makeup, something she said would take "just a sec".

"Amy! Hurry up! We have reservations at eight," He hollered, scanning his Instagram feed. A picture posted by JoMarchthegreat caught his eye. It took him a moment to realize that it was Jo in the photo, standing next to some man in a suit

"Whoa," he said, looking at it again. That didn't look like his Jo. This Jo looked like a woman. An especially sexy woman. "Amy, get in here!"

"Laurie, I'm doing stuff!"

He rolled his eyes but knew better than to argue with her when she was getting ready. He studied the photo once more.

JoMarchthegreatest: Off to the Opera! FBhaer #iknowthedressisridiculous #red #imbadatnaminghastags #professor

Oh, that was the Professor. Laurie had pictured him older and less attractive. Of course he was young and good looking. Just his luck.

It wasn't that he was still into Jo. He had Amy now and loved her. Jo was still like his sister and he wanted her to be happy and to be safe.

Okay, maybe he was still a little bitter about the whole thing. She was his first love and it was still weird.

"Amy, since when does your sister have a boyfriend?" He called again, trying to get comfortable on top of Amy's obscenely large collection of frilly pillows.

"Uh, since she and John got together a few years ago," Amy replied.

"Your other sister," He pulled a stuffed kitten out from under him. "And why is she in a skimpy red dress with this Professor guy?"

"What?" Amy bustled into the room, her blonde curls pulled back into a knot. Her finger hooked an earring in as she went to sit next to him. He flashed the picture. "She looks hot. Yay! Jo has finally realized that she's a girl!"

Laurie swallowed, nodding simply. Jo did look hot, the dress so slim on her small frame.

He just wished that that man wasn't standing next to her.

"Is that Professor Bhaer?" Amy said, moving in closer to Laurie and giggling. "God, he is sexy."

Laurie pursed his lips, "I don't see it."

"Are you kidding? He looks like Captain Hook from Once Upon A Time. Okay, maybe not that hot, but still. Anyway, are we ready for dinner?" She got on her knees, displaying her outfit, "How do I look?"

"Lovely," Laurie said, smiling for her.

She grinned back, "Thanks." Amy studied him, realizing that he kept looking at the photo. "Look, I know you're jealous a bit. Staring at that photo won't help you. She's happy and you're happy. Isn't that enough?"

Laurie locked his phone and looked at her. Her brow furrowed like it did when she was upset. It was a little trick she'd been doing forever to guilt people onto her side.

"Yes it is," he said truthfully, kneeling next to her. Amy was so beautiful. Amy was kind and helpful and calm. The opposite of Jo. The opposite of him. But maybe just what he needed. "It's plenty."

...

"This is so cool!" Jo had a habit of talking too much when she got really excited over something. The theatre always made her excited. She loved going to see shows. When she and he sisters were younger, they'd put on plays in their attic for Marmee. Jo would write them and they'd all be the actors.

Beth always said that Jo's plays were better than Shakespeare.

But Jo was trying not to think of Beth. It just made her cry.

As Jo looked around the theatre, she noticed that she wasn't overdressed at all. Everyone had come in their finery, all looking very distinguished. She felt out of place as she always did in fancy settings. An urge to stick out her pinky and talk in a British accent was slowly over taking her.

Jo began talking again as they took their seats. "I mean, this is so amazing! I've never seen a theatre this beautiful. I've always wanted to come here. Everything is so pretty. There's decoration on the ceiling for frick's sake. Wait, we're someplace fancy. I probably shouldn't say frick."

Professor Bhaer laughed, handing her a program, "I'm glad you're so excited."

"I am," Jo said, sitting down. "I should probably make sure my phone's off." She struggled with the zipper on the purse Kelsey had let her borrow. Once it was open, she had to dig to find her phone. "There you are," Jo clutched it, holding the power button until it turned off. "Perfect." She stuck it back down in the bag but her hand landed on something strange feeling. Jo grabbed it, bringing up a bit into the light. It was some shiny piece of metallic foil in a square shape-

"Oh God," she dropped it like it was poisonous back into the bag. Taking her right hand she pummeled it until it was at the bottom, out of sight. "Kelsey, you freak!"

"What is it?" The Professor leaned over to look on the bag.

Jo snapped it shut, "You don't want to know."

"Yes, I do. Now you're making me curious. It could be a knife or a severed head."

Jo tried to focus herself, "Ha! I wish," she composed herself. "It was a c..." She said so quietly that he couldn't hear.

He leaned in closer, "A what?"

"Condom!" She hissed through clenched teeth. "And this is her bag! It just makes me feel awkward!"

"Oh," he stammered, backing into his seat. Jo saw from the corner of his eye that he looked frazzled.

"Yep. That's something I didn't need I know about my neighbor," She zipped up the bag again and out it under the seat.

Suddenly, she remembered that Kelsey had cleared out this purse for her. She'd said that she'd only put in things that Jo may need that night.

Oh God. It was there for her.

Jo felt blood rushing up to her face, her stomach doing some weird mix of nausea and hunger pains.

"Jo," the Professor said. "You're as red as your dress. Are you alright?"

"I'm just plotting how I'm going to murder Kelsey later tonight. I'm thinking arsenic. Possibly an axe. Or maybe a razor so I can feel like Sweeney Todd."

"What?"

Jo slouched back in her seat, "I'm peachy, professor. Just peachy."

He squinted at her, as if her was trying to solve some very difficult riddle.

"Wait," he said carefully, "she gave you that bag for tonight. Is that...for us?"

"And it's awkward now," Jo nodded, interlacing her fingers on her lap. Her breathing felt very weird. "Starting now, we're going to pretend the last two minutes never happened, okay?"

"Okay," he answered, pulling at his tie. He was happy to know that he was just as frazzled.

"Awesome," Jo agreed, pushing the purse underneath of her chair. Her face was beginning to feel less warm, he'd breathing getting under control. Jo couldn't handle awkward situations. She really couldn't.

"Oh, and Jo," Professor Bhaer murmured as the house lights went down.

"What?"

"I'd go with arsenic. They'll be less evidence."

There was just enough light for them to catch each other's eyes and smile.