CHAPTER 3

Kurt was preparing a meal while looking at Santana who was talking on her phone. They were at her apartment, but it wasn't strange at all that he was doing it. He was a better cook and Santana loved when he cooked for her. She wasn't very good at it.

He used to live here, but they hadn't been living together since the first month after they and Brittany moved to LA and Kurt realized he was unwanted here. Brittany and Santana would never say that to him, but he understood it. He didn't want to bother them, their dreams to be and live together forever. As soon as he found an apartment, which wasn't so expensive, he moved.

Now, when Brittany was gone they started to spend a lot of time together again, generally in her apartment. She didn't like to be here alone.

Kurt slept that day at her place, because she had had tough night. He didn't mind it, he liked this apartment. Well, he didn't like to be alone either.

Santana looked very upset, as he was watching her.

"Are you kidding me, Rachel?" she asked "You're doing it again! You promised me this time you're
gonna be there!"
"Oh gosh, I hate you so much"
"I know"
"He's ok"
"Yes, he's gonna be there"
"It's only your fault"
"I don't know yet"
"But I think he's gonna go"
"Ok"
"So have nice holidays"
"And say hi to Blaine"
"See you" she laughed and put her phone away.

She looked very exhausted. She closed her eyes and sighed. Kurt was looking at her worried.

"Kill me, Kurt" she said finally, but he didn't answer "I'm serious, it's gonna be a disaster"

"No, it's not"

"Come on, I know it" she moaned.

"We just need to buy more alcohol" he shrugged, and she laughed, straightening on the couch.

"And you're trying to tell me that you don't have a problem?" she smiled at him.

"I don't have any" he looked at her and then quickly coming back to cooking.

"Of course" she said and laughed.

"Satan"

"I'm sorry" she laughed "No drinking problem"

Kurt looked at her but he didn't say anything. Well, he might have some drinking problem. But he would never tell so. He just liked to drink sometimes. That's not the problem. He finished what he was doing, put food on the plates and went to sit beside Santana, who happily took her meal. She loved it, not cooking.

"So why she's not coming?" he asked. He wasn't surprised Santana was mad. Rachel hasn't appeared on the first party after first part of the movie, too. He barely knew her, but he knew Santana cared about her.

"She's leaving on some holidays with Blaine" she said.

"Blaine?"

"Oh, you don't know him" she smiled.

"New boyfriend?" he asked. It wouldn't be a surprise; Rachel had some serious heart problems. At least he could say that, after those hours Santana was talking about it. He knew that she generally was with Jesse St. James, but there were always some problems. He didn't understand how it even worked. They were both like stars. Like real one, very talented, that much that they were quite conceited. He actually could imagine them fighting about who's the bigger star.

Santana laughed, but she didn't answer. It was generally fun listening about her friends on set, but it was quite depressing he hadn't any different friend than Santana. Well, he worked in a bookstore, but he didn't actually like his coworkers, and his boss was an asshole. He was living on his friend's happiness, he didn't even know what would have happened if he started caring about this all. He quite tried to ignore his problems. But they were always coming back.

They eat in silence. He noted Santana wasn't smiling anymore. She was thinking about something hard.

"Kurt, I need to ask you about something" she said finally, put her plate away. He looked at her and she sighed "Would you go with me on the premiere?"

"No" he said quickly. She wasn't surprised, but it was important. He put a big piece of food into his mouth so he didn't have to answer.

"Kurt, please" he didn't say anything. Ignore the problem "I'm begging you, Kurt" she said feeling very bad.

"Satan, you know you're not gonna make me go there" he said faintly.

"I know you don't like this idea..." she started looking for words "but you should change your opinion about it someday. You should"

"Santana, I'm not gonna feel there okay, you know that. It's not my world"

"It is!" she said "You always wanted it"

"I did, but I wanted to be a part of it. I don't belong… I'm unwanted there"

"No, you're not" Santana said "I want you, you're my friend and I want you to be there"

"You know I can't do it, it's gonna be depressing" he said. There's nothing more depressing than showing him he's failure by putting him into crowd of famous people.

"No, it's gonna be fun, I promise"

"You know that's not what I am talking about" he said silently "Santana, you ask a lot of me"

Santana looked at him sadly, she knew that. She really did. But she needed it, and she felt Kurt might need it too.

"I would take Brittany, as I did the first time, if not…"

"I know"

"It's would be nice to have somebody close while she's not there with me" she said sadly.

"You have Rachel and Lara…" he said, but he already knew he lost it.

"But you're my best friend" she moaned, desperately.

"You're taking me on pity" he said softly.

"Will you make it for me?" she asked and Kurt didn't look at her. It was hard for him to make this decision; there were so many things why he didn't want to do it. But there was no Brittany who would help him. He was a friend and I had to help, sometimes friendship asks a lot of you and you know there's only one right answer. Kurt sighed hard.

"Yes" he said and immediately felt like he took up something very hard "I'm going with you"

"Thank you" Santana said, but not that cheerfully. She was back in her Brittany is gone state. He hugged her and they stayed in silence.

Kurt couldn't imagine coming back to an empty home and leaving her here alone. It was hard to be friend sometimes.

"Oh, hey guys" Santana smiled "Come in"

Tall blond girl and smiling redhead came into the apartment and both of them kissed Santana's cheeks.

"Kurt is in the living room. I'll be right back" she said and girls entered the room where Kurt was sitting on the couch. Almost every girl would say he was hot. He was tall and slim, almost skinny. He had pale skin, perfectly clear and smooth face. There was a lot of his hair, but it was perfectly styled. He wasn't sexy in way bad boys are, he was more like beautiful.

His eyes smiled when he saw them. "Lara" he yelled, stood up and hugged the taller girl "It's so nice to see you"

"You too" she said "Looking good"

Kurt laughed and turned to redhead girl.

"Hi, Kurt"

"Hi, Veronica, how are you doing?" he smiled and hugged her as well.

"I'm doing well, it's nice to relax after this hard work" she said sitting on the couch "And it's everything her fault" she pointed at blond girl. Kurt laughed.

"Yes, I heard she is very exacting" he smiled to Lara.

"I am, but you'll see it's gonna be perfect" she shrugged. Lara was young, only 26, but she was successful director. She was the creator of Fighting with shadow, and was known as hardworking. But people liked her, she was popular and beautiful, and Kurt envied her, just as like he did with every person who achieved something. And what was funny, there was a lot of people like that around him.

Veronica was one of the actresses, whose role wasn't that big, but she was the most optimistic and fun person he knew.

"How is life, Kurt? I heard you're writing a book?" Veronica asked.

"Oh, don't even ask" she sighed "Everything sucks as always" he smiled.

"Stop, it's not that bad for sure" she smiled, and he wanted to hug her. Everybody believed in him so much.

"You'd better tell me how is work going" he said.

"It's not bad, I auditioned for new role and I think I'm gonna get it" she smiled. He wasn't surprised, she was very talented.

"Congratulations!" she said "God, I wish it was so simple for me"

"What?"

"Auditioning, you know" he said but they looked at him not understanding "My voice is strange. It's unusual, my face is strange, and they don't usually look for people like me"

"That's bullshit" Lara said "Have you even tried?"

"Yes, first whole year when we moved" he smiled sadly.

"Oh, that's sucks" Veronica said "But you should try again"

"Totally" Lara agreed.

"But he already gave up on his life" Santana said as she entered the room "Aren't you, Kurt?"

"Oh, shut up" he said and they laughed.

"Will anybody help me with dishes?" Santana asked and Kurt stood up and went to the kitchen. He came back with plates full of food he had prepared. Maybe it's not gonna be that bad?

He jumped a little when the doorbell rang again. He moved to the door and opened it. He stood surprised.

"Sugar Motta" he gasped.

"Totally" said the girl dressed in big furry thing, tons of jewelry and something what could be a hat. Kurt blinked surprised; he didn't expect somebody that famous here. Well, he had famous friends, but come on. Everybody knew Sugar Motta. Most of them just because she was so badly rich. And pink. And well, rich. She was looking at him strangely "And who are you?"

"I- Kurt. My name is Kurt" he said, and she grinned and walked pass him didn't looking back.

"Thanks god" he heard. He turned surprised to find out another person was standing in the door "I was riding with her, and it's enough for me. Hi, buddy" said Jesse St. James as he put his hand on Kurt's arm.

"Jesse" he said still surprised "Sugar Motta is on the movie?"

"Well, I think everybody wish she wasn't" he said "There's no person like her, buddy, believe me"

"I see" Kurt said closing the door "How is life Jesse?"

"Incredible, like always" he smiled "Well, it would be better if Rachel didn't leave me here alone"

Kurt smiled, he didn't know how to answer it, he really didn't understand their problems. He didn't understand Rachel, too. Come on, Jesse was hot. Like really hot. He was tall, well-built, he had dark blond curls and amazing smile. He was one of the people of crew he knew the best. Santana always said that they, Ohio people, should stick together. Jesse didn't like them to remind him he's from Ohio, but he liked to spend time with them. He was friendly and always nice to Kurt, what made him have a little crush on him. Because after hard time in high school, he had crush on every guy who was nice to him.

When they entered living room, Sugar was going on and on about some designer. Kurt couldn't believe he met somebody louder than Rachel Berry.

"Jesse!" Santana yelled, and jumped to hug him "It's so nice to see you"

"You too, honey" he smiled and then greeted with other people. Sugar seemed to be mad that everybody stopped listening to her.

It was quite nice to know show business from this other side. From this site were people were normal, cool guys, you can drink with or talk about heart problems. This side where Kurt didn't feel worse than them, he didn't feel bad they had made something what had been his dream forever. Just normal friends.

The doorbell rang again.

"I bet it's Charlie" said Santana "Kurt, bring some alcohol"

"Here you go"

Kurt woke up lying in Santana's bed. His mouth was dry, but there was no headache. He didn't know if he should be happy about that. He drank too often to have a headache. He turned his back, he was in bed alone. Then it wasn't that bad.

He started thinking about what happened last night. They had got drunk, oh what a surprise. Sugar Motta had been flirting with him. He smiled, that was weird. He had been flirting with Jesse. Wait, that wasn't ok. Charlie had been making out with Veronica, Katie had had a breakdown.

Nothing new. He couldn't believe how boring his life was. He was living around the stars, and it was boring.

He had had tough time through high school, he hadn't have time to be adventurous. Then he had moved to LA, there had been parties, boys and alcohol. He had fun, he had some shitty relationships, he was drinking too much. All this time the feeling of being neglected was coming back to him.

He didn't understand. He didn't have an adventure in his life. That was it. He wanted to feel something different from sadness, or failure. He wanted to feel ecstasy, to be young and crazy. It was funny he didn't feel it after this all living with Santana. Well, he guessed he was looking for something different. All he wanted was something unexpected to happen.

He didn't really believe in it as he turned on the bed, after insane party, which left him surprisingly thirsty.

i have more, but i am not publishing it yet, because i don't know if anybody would like to? If you do, leave a sign somehow