Chapter Two: That Age Old Question.
"What is this?"
"A packet of Jaffa Cakes."
"Yes, I can see that..."
"Then forgive me if I fail to see the point of your question."
"You're not going to... what are you doing? That's tantamount to treason!"
"On the contrary, Inspector, I am certain that, were the nation to embrace this habit, Britain would become a much nicer place to exist."
"What? No! Just...no!"
"Your impeccable argument is most persuasive..."
"But they're cakes!"
"No, they are biscuits."
"So I suppose the word 'cake' is irrelevant?"
"Quite."
"No!"
"My dear Lestrade, they are biscuits. They are purchased from the biscuit section, they are sold in tubes and they are consumed with tea-"
"No no no. Let me stop you right there! You do not dip a Jaffa Cake. It will dissolve into mush because it is a cake. You do not. Dip. Cake!"
"I quite agree. I would never dream of dipping a cake. However, a Jaffa Cake is not a cake, therefore-"
"Stop it!"
"You are over-reacting, Lestrade. I must insist that you at least try it for yourself, before condemning it. It will enhance your life."
"No it won't. It will ruin my tea."
"It's all about calculation, Inspector – estimating the optimum length of time between dipping and removing. A second's error could result in untold disaster. Observe..."
"Mr Holmes, I really don't think-"
"Shit."
"Well, I did tell you."