Well, well, here it is. I'm so deflated. A lot of things happened to me and around me in this year and it has been only like, what? A month and a week? Jeez… Well, anyway, I hope this brings better luck to you guys! XD
To Chey-chan! Love ya as always. You're getting bored with hearing this, or rather reading this, aren't you? Or you don't read it?
Look at Me, Only Me chapter 5
Disappearing Warmth
'When you ignore the pain in the heart, it inflicts the body…'
….
Kissing gently down his collarbone, the older man turned his gaze upwards at the boy who had his arm across his eyes. The younger one was unusually quiet today. Before they went to bed, no, even during dinner, the boy's eyes had lost their usual glint. It was as if his mind was not here.
"What's the matter?" he asked in concern. No reply.
"You seem down lately. Are you not feeling well?" He gathered the petite, rather lifeless body into his arms. Touching softly over his forehead, he felt for a fever but there was only Misaki's typically warm skin.
"It's nothing…" Finally, the boy came back to life, brushing off the hand lightly. Laying his head back onto the pillow, Akihiko bent down as well and pressed a light kiss onto the side of his head.
"If you're not in the mood, we'll skip it today. Just rest." He ruffled the chocolate hair gently. All of a sudden, Misaki caught his arm with strength that surprised the older man. Those fragile arms then circled his neck and pulled him in.
"No… Do it… Do it please…" the boy begged desperately. Akihiko hesitated but the younger man kept on whispering those words in his ears, subtly kissing him. The warmth he felt around his neck vanished. Instead, it was replaced by another fluttering heat between his thighs. He grabbed Misaki's hands and pinned them above his head, his restraint broken. Kissing down the boy's collarbone again, the soft sigh from the body below him was all he needed to continue.
When he was at last satisfied, he fell asleep almost instantly. Misaki turned his back to the man. With that small movement, Akihiko caught the teen tight by the waist, all the while remaining unconscious, as if it was reflex. The hold softened when the boy placed his small hands over the large ones and guided them to his chest, pulling them closer around himself. The older man naturally held him nearer even in his slumber. The brunette closed his eyes and felt the strong pounding of Akihiko's heart against his back. He imagined warmth flowing from the man's heart, through his back, to his own heart and spreading all over his body slowly like a slow fire.
"Takahiro…" the man whispered as he snuggled his face into his companion's neck. Like having a bucket full of ice water thrown over him, Misaki shivered as the fire within was distinguished cruelly. The smoke from the extinguished fire brought tears to his eyes. That was why he did not want to sleep facing the older man. Misaki then spread himself, allowing as much skin contact he could with the other but somehow, an invisible barrier had formed between them, preventing the heat from transmitting. More tears fell as the boy tried to find that warmth once more.
….
Akihiko woke up with a start when he no longer felt the warmth within his arms. Panicking, he bolted into a sitting position and looked around the dark. The sound of water flushing and the dim light seeping through the door frame of the toilet caught his attention. Getting out of bed, he took two deep breaths to calm himself before pushing the door open. The boy, washing his face, looked up and back at him through the mirror, surprised.
"What are you doing?" Akihiko asked. The teen splashed more water onto his face before looking at his reflection again.
"Washing my face?" he answered, making it sound like a question. He gave the man a 'are-you-stupid' look before Akihiko realized he had just asked an exceedingly idiotic question to a normal person.
"I meant, what are you doing up, washing your face, in the middle of the night?" he amended. This time, Misaki understood the unspoken part of his question. He grabbed a towel from the rack and pressed it to his face.
"I went to the toilet and I felt that my face was sticky from all the sweat so I washed it. Any problem with that?" Akihiko was shocked by the sarcasm of the inquiry although the boy's tone remained flat all the while. He couldn't really analyze the younger man's expression because it was still partially covered by the cloth but he felt certain that he had somehow hurt the boy. It was like he did not trust what Misaki had said that time. He sighed softly, relief and regret mixed. Relief because the boy obviously had no intention of leaving and regret because he doubted the boy which, in turn, hurt him.
"No… None. You're free to do anything you want." Akihiko hugged him from behind, inhaling the boy's scent.
'As long as you remain by my side…' he added silently. The boy was dropped the towel in the laundry basket and turned around, submerging his face in the loose cloth hanging over Akihiko's chest. The man could still feel the dampness that remained on the boy's bangs as he returned the embrace. Caressing the small back of the younger man, he bent downwards.
"Come back to bed with me?" There was no answer from the boy but he did press himself tighter to Akihiko. The older man's lips twitched upwards a little before scooping the boy up in bridal style. He was rather astonished when the boy did not resist but instead lay quietly in the cradle of his arms. He set the boy gently on the bed and pulled up the covers before sliding in next to the brunet. Then, Akihiko was further amazed when Misaki moved nearer to him until they were touching.
"Cold…" The boy blew the single word out faintly. Acting in accordance to the boy's wish, Akihiko gathered him closer, the delicate figure he was afraid would break if he held him to hard but never want to let go. He tenderly stroked Misaki's hair until he fell asleep.
….
Misaki knocked softly on the door of Akihiko's study. Inside, the man looked up from his work and glanced toward the door.
"Come in," he said. The boy entered, stepping nimbly among the fallen books in the room until he was half way between Akihiko and his exit.
"What's the matter?" Akihiko asked kindly, concerned when the boy's head hung low.
"No… I just want to ask what you would like for dinner," Misaki muttered quietly. He was fidgeting nervously on the spot. The silver haired man smiled when he realized it. Getting up, he strode across the remaining distance between them and lifted the younger man's chin. His smile widen as he stared into the boy's eyes, drowned himself in pools of emeralds momentarily. Doing so, the boy saw his own reflection in the amethyst orbs, like a puppy that had fallen helplessly in love with his master.
"Anything would be fine but if you insist, hamburger. With a flower-shaped fried egg on top." The childish request earned a meek little smile and a low but melodious laugh from Misaki.
"Alright. Can I go out to buy the ingredients?" Akihiko's eyes went large with that question. Then only did he realize, up until that day, the boy had not gone out from the penthouse since he stepped into it. He hesitated for a second, pondering on the possibility of Misaki running away. But the boy had no where to go anymore. Betting on that thought, he finally nodded and gave the boy the key and some money. The action seemed to please the boy, like he was happy to, at last, be trusted.
As Misaki turned toward the door, Akihiko's large hand slid under the pale one of the younger man, brushing fingertips like a butterfly's caress for a second. The boy, surprised, wheeled around again but the older man only smiled, motioning for him to go. Misaki turned again at the exit, his lips curving slightly upwards and his heart light with joy.
"Thank you, Takahiro," he said, right before the boy went out of the room. Freezing for a moment that was slightly unusual, Misaki's head jerked a little and he closed the door behind him. Unable to notice the change in the boy, the man returned to his seat and resumed his work.
The boy walked as fast as he could until he was outside of the penthouse door. There, he leaned against it and slid down, clutching the key he was given to his heart, where it felt like sharp claws tearing his chest from inside out. The previous lightness was gone, replaced by a heavy, suffocating feeling. The sensation made him start tearing up and hyperventilating. It took a few moments for him to regain his breath. Getting up, he staggered to the lift. The dull pain continued but he had learnt how to block it out in order to keep his body functioning. Still, Misaki didn't notice the single tear that escaped his eye and left a silvery trail down his cheek.
….
That's all for now! As I said, until halfway it's sort of not my original idea but it will be from now on! Be prepared for the buckets of angst! Muahaha! I'd say there's quite a lot of angst in this chapter but if you didn't feel it, well, maybe I need to work on my writing skills…
Well, review please? Pweety please with a caramel custard pudding on top? That's what I'm planning to make tomorrow. XP
Twilight Cherry