The Tegan Chronicles

Thicker than Blood 2

"They asked for our help." Tegan reiterated.

"And I said SG1 can brief SG3, because you're not going." He put more emphasis on 'you're' than he meant to.

"I'm ready."

"I didn't say you weren't."

"You didn't have to, sir." She grabbed the water glass in front of her with her left hand.

He waited knowing if he didn't speak she'd continue despite having already over stepped her bounds.

"You sent us on a snipe hunt today."

"You came back with valuable intel." He was vaguely surprised how far he was letting this go, how far he was letting her push it. From their expressions, so was the rest of SG1.

"Intel that you didn't expect. If the Tok'ra hadn't intercepted us it would have been a complete waste of time and resources." Her accusation ended with a loud pop as the glass in her hand cracked spilling water onto the table and her lap. "Shit."

Ignoring the incident for the moment General Hammond locked eyes with her. He cut off the apology that was already forming on her lips. "Are you questioning my orders?"

"I..." She closed her mouth, opened it, closed it again. She looked away from him. "No sir."

"Good, because Nirrti is hell bent on taking you captive, and she's counting on SG1 going in to save the Tok'ra. It's a trap, and I feel better sending in a marine unit that doesn't already have a price on it's head."

The muscle in Tegan's jaw clenched.

"You're dismissed, except for you Major Kiser. You can leave after you clean up the mess you made."

"Yes sir."

Sam was waiting in the hall when she emerged from the debriefing room.

"I don't want to talk about it Sam."

"About what?" Sam smiled slyly.

"Whatever it is you were waiting here to talk to me about." Tegan headed down the corridor.

"I was going to offer to work on the biofeedback in your prosthetic." She followed at a quick pace.

"There's nothing wrong with it." Tegan pressed the up button for the elevator.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm suturing fine with it." The doors opened and she stepped in.

"But the glass..." Sam watched Tegan turn around and punch in her floor.

"I knew I had more than an adequate grip on it." The doors slid shut leaving Sam standing there.

"Hey Sam." Janet didn't even have to look up to know who was standing in the doorway to her office. "What can I do for you?"

"How's Tegan doing?"

"You just spent the last five hours off world with her."

"Yeah." Sam stared off.

"Then you probably know more about how she's doing than I do."

Sam nodded, understanding things still weren't back to normal between them.

"Why what's up?"

"General Hammond told us to debrief another SG team on the intel we received and she broke a glass. When I asked her about working on the biofeedback she told me she knew she had 'more than an adequate grip' on the glass."

"So you think she did it on purpose?"

"I don't know." Sam sighed. "I mean, according to her she knew she was exerting more force on the glass than necessary, but was it intentional? I just don't know."

"I can't tell you where her head is right now." Janet frowned lightly. "She wouldn't even let me do her post."

Sam nodded.

Janet was surprised when Tegan didn't head to bed or the other half of the duplex after dinner. She looked over her medical journal at Tegan who'd been staring at the blank TV since Cassie had gone to bed forty minutes earlier. "What are you thinking about?"

"Resigning my commission."

"You tried that once, remember?"

"Yeah, when I was still an asset to the military."

"Does this have anything to do with the debriefing this afternoon?"

"What do you know about it?"

"Just that you broke a glass."

"Who told you?"

"Someone who is concerned about you."

Tegan rolled her eyes reminding Janet of Cassie.

"You know, maybe you should resign. I mean you saved SG1, kept Daniel from returning to some archeological dig in Giza and Teal'c from the horrors of evil experiments at the hands of the NID. And of course there's Sam and Jack who you saved from court martial." She kept the sarcasm from her tone. "You don't owe anyone anything. And hell, it'll make my life so much easier. I won't have to worry anymore when you step through that gate that you'll be coming back half dead, or worse yet, not coming back at all."

Tegan stared at Janet. She had expected her to rally in her favor, not encourage her.

Janet watched the darkening greens in Tegan's irises. It was a science she was still trying to master, reading those shifts. But she'd seen that exact shade several times just before Tegan closed everyone out.

"Maybe I will."

"Maybe you should." Everything she'd said was true. She could give Tegan a million and one reasons why quitting now was ok, good even. But she still felt guilty because she's promised herself after Tegan gave up her Ducati, to never ask her to give up anything else. To never try and change her.

Still, she looked at Tegan who'd gone back to staring at the blank screen, she wasn't even the same Tegan anymore. Not really. Not since the accident. Though Janet completely understood it from a medical point of view, from a human standpoint she wanted, no she needed the old Tegan back. The one who smiled and laughed, and loved to cook and play with Cassie. The one who sang and more than anything the one who loved her as much as she loved her.

Tegan turned her head slightly. "What?"

Janet shook her head. "Are you going to sleep with me tonight?"

"No."

"Fine." Janet swallowed the hurt, even though she understood why. "I'm going on to bed then."