IMPORTANT: Quite major rewrite of the first two chapters to make them fit ME3 ending. You might want to re-read them if you were following this fic from before Jan 2013.
Sooo, I've been through the five stages of grief with ME3's ending and now I'm at "acceptance". I managed to get my desire to write back, and to continue Shepard's story. This fic assumes red ending + Shepard surviving + a rebuilt Citadel.
Shepard tossed the datapad to her bed, visibly annoyed. She had been studying the profile of the new "recruit", both the official dossier provided by the Alliance and the "unofficial" data she gathered pulling a few strings. She had a bad feeling about this.
Dolores Connor was one of the few war heroes who survived the many battles at London against the Reaper forces. She had taken uncountable foes down with her sniper riffle, and had been awarded the Medal of Valor for protecting half a dozen children during the attacks. She was only 19 years old.
Shepard recalled one of her conversations with Hackett about this. The Admiral had said that Connor was "special", and though she joined the Alliance, she would be better off with Shepard, training to become a Spectre some day. "She reminds me of you, Commander."
That was the part that made Shepard uncomfortable. No parents, raised in a gang in the streets of a big city… Shepard remembered the photo that was on the dossier: a young woman with war paint on her face and a fierce look. "Too much like me." The problem was also the very same reason she couldn't refuse Hackett's request.
The girl would arrive later that day. Shepard decided to take a hot shower to relax a bittle so she could think more clearly how to deal with the situation. So far, it wouldn't be pleasant.
"Commander," Ashley saluted as she entered the Normandy's meeting room, with Miranda and Liara.
Shepard was standing up, handling a data pad besides a young woman dressed in an Alliance uniform, with black war paint marks on most of her face.
"Lt. Commander, Dr. T'Soni, Lawson, this is Private Connor. She'll be serving in the Normandy. I'm assumming you are already familiar with her dossier."
The young human saluted half-heartedly and Shepard glared at her.
Ashley studied the new recruit: She was not tall at all, her skin a bit dark and the war paint gave her a hard and tough look. She had a big stroke of paint covering most of the right side of her face, and smaller strokes on the left side. Ashley thought it was a bit odd that someone wore these while not on battle, and that the woman was even allowed to do it.
"She obviously lacks proper military manners and training," Shepard continued, "so we must put her up to speed as soon as possible. We'll begin at the ring, let's go."
Shepard headed to the elevator and Ashley, Miranda and Liara exchanged confused looks, but followed her Commander nevertheless.
They arrived at the Shuttle Bay, which was equipped with a full gym and a boxing ring. Commander Shepard had it installed after the war, following Garrus' advice: here soldiers could come to train and to blow off steem and calm their nerves. Ashley had been training with Shepard consistently in the ring, and she could already say that it was a very good idea to have the ring, but this… Ashley had the feeling this would be no training. She looked to the Private, who seemed impassible, but her clenched fists were betraying her.
Shepard entered the ring and Connor did the same. Ashley went to the lockers to pick up the padding equipment.
"We don't need it, Williams," Shepard interrupted her.
Ashley blinked in surprise. How could padding be not needed during training? "Oh, fuck." She didn't know what to think. Fighting with no padding seemed a terrible idea, but she didn't want to question Shepard in front of a subordinate. She looked to Miranda, wishing for help, but the Normandy's XO seemed to think the same. "What does Shepard want with this?"
Shepard didn't wait for her opponent to get ready and hit her stomach with a hard kick. Connor cried in pain and lost her balance. Shepard took advantage of that to get closer and punch her in the face. The youngest human hit the ground and spat blood.
Ashley had her eyes wide open in disbelief. She was not the only one.
"19-year old MY ASS!" Shepard shouted and kicked the private, who was still lying in the ring floor.
Ashley could not take that any longer. "Shepard–"
"Shut up, Williams! And you," Shepard turned to the girl, "don't even fucking dream of lying to me again!" She kicked her hard again and again.
Connor somehow managed to stand up and glared at Shepard.
"Screw you!" she shouted. And then, she did the unthinkable. She spat to Shepard's face.
Miranda and Ashley reacted right away and quickly jumped into the ring, but they couldn't stop Shepard of punching Connor in the head. The XO took the girl and pulled her away. Ashley stood in front of Shepard, holding her back. Liara joined Ashley in her efforts to contain the Commander.
"That's enough, Shepard!"
The red-haired Commander cooled down and wiped out the remainings of saliva in her face. "I like your guts, girl, but we need to talk. Let's go to the Med Bay."
"I'm no girl, and I can take care of myself," Connor growled.
"You clearly couldn't half a minute ago. Besides, your blood is getting my ship dirty," Shepard said and headed towards the door.
"Whatever," she mumbled and followed Shepard.
Ashley stayed ten meters behind them and looked at Miranda.
"What the hell was that…?" the XO asked.
"No idea," Ashley answered. "They looked like two krogans in a pub fight. And why doesn't she think the girl is 19?"
"Shepard doesn't… think. She knows she's younger."
Miranda was right and Ashley swallowed hard upon the sudden realisation.
"What is it?" Liara asked, still very confused.
"We can talk about this later, we better follow them to the Med Bay."
Miranda was getting more worried by the minute. Not only about having an adolescent on board, but because of Shepard's blind rage on the ring. The XO was sure Shepard didn't want to show she was better, Shepard actually wanted to inflict pain. And the fact that she knew about the real age of the girl… either Shepard had gotten more information or… "No, she knew," Miranda admitted, "she knew because she has seen it before."
She interrupted her thoughts when they finally arrived to the Med Bay.
"Dr. Chakwas," Shepard said and stepped into the room with the rest of them.
"What happened?" the human doctor asked, frowning.
"Gym accident," Shepard blatantly lied. "Doctor, I'm going to need the med bay for a few minutes."
"Sure, Commander, after I provide first aid to the Private."
"I'll do that. It's not serious, and you can check her afterwards," Shepard said. She opened the first-aid box and got a medigel flask and some swabs. "Liara, can you get me an ice pack?"
"Aye-aye, Commander," Dr. Chakwas surrendered. I'll be back in ten minutes. And please, try to avoid more of these accidents."
The doctor left and Liara went to the small fridge with medical supplies and took out a pad filled with frozen gel. Miranda just stood besides Ashley, close to the door, arms crossed and still trying to make sense out of the situation.
"Here," Liara said handing the ice pad to Shepard.
Shepard had already started to clean the blood pouring from the human's broken eyebrow and apply medigel to it. Now that the young soldier had her war paints marks partially removed, she understood why she was wearing them: she definitely looked like a teenager without the paint.
"So," Shepard started to say, "how old are you? I'm not going to ask this twice."
"Sixteen," the girl grunted.
"Good."
"You're fucking kidding me!" Ashley stormed. "Shepard, you can't have a 16-year old here!"
"Says who?"
Ashley opened her mouth, unable to say a word.
"Commander, as your XO I must remind you that this goes against the Alliance's regulations," Miranda said trying in vain to sound as neutral as possible. She thought Shepard had lost her mind, and the strangest thing here was that Liara was not freaking out.
"She's nineteen in every military record, we can keep this a secret. Dr. Chakwas will have to know, though," the Commander stated.
"For God's sake, Shepard, she's a teenager! Are you insane?!" Ashley protested, getting more and more agitated.
"Shepard, you cannot be seriously considering to have a girl in the team." Miranda agreed.
"I AM NO GIRL!" Connor shouted bitterly.
"Then start to behave like an adult and do not yell to the XO of my ship!" Shepard bopped her. "And now, listen: I know you're a top-notch sniper, but you're no soldier. You want to be a Spectre someday? Then start by becoming a soldier first. From now on you'll be on my ground team. Is this understood?"
"Yeah."
Shepard bopped her again.
"Aye-aye, ma'am," the girl rectified.
"It's good to see you learn fast. So, starting tomorrow, you will chain yourself to the simulator trainer until Lt. Commander Williams thinks you're done," Shepard commanded. "Dr. T'soni, Williams, you are dismissed. Lawson, stay, we need to go through some details with the Private."
Ashley rolled her eyes and left taking Liara by the arm. "No doubt she will try to make her convice Shepard to stop this madness." Miranda sighed in silence. "It won't work."
Once the Med Bay door was closed, Shepard turned to the girl and put an arm over her shoulder.
"Connor, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to think your answer very carefully before you speak." She paused and looked into Connor's eyes for a few seconds. "Where's your stash?"
"This is bad."
The Private remained silent but held Shepard's gaze.
"You are not expecting me to believe you're clean, right? What are you on, and where's your stash?" Shepard inquired again.
"Spice," Connor surrendered, "I hid some in the cargo hold. But I need it."
"What you need is to get cleaned ASAP. We'll tell Dr. Chakwas about this and she'll give you rehab treatment. Ms. Lawson will keep your stash under her custody, and will only give you a dose under the doctor's request. Only the three of us and Dr. Chakwas will know about this. Am I clear?"
"WHAT. THE. HELL."
Connor nodded, visibly annoyed. Shepard walked towards Miranda and whispered in her ear.
"Miranda, don't ever let me get close to the damn thing. Do you understand?"
Now everything clicked.
"Of course, Commander.
Later that night Shepard dreamt of running, blood, hiding, killing, red sand, spice and the Tenth Street Reds.