Warnings: Slash, eventual RLSB
Disclaimers: Don't own it.
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The Worst Year Yet
By Rekahneko
Chapter 2 – Second Year
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"Okay, so here is my idea, guys. It is brilliant, just like me." Sirius puffed out his chest, strutting as he walked with his friends.
James laughed asking, "Yeah?" while Peter just nodded, agreeing that Sirius was, indeed, brilliant. Mostly the pudgy boy was just delighted to be asked along on what had now been dubbed, 'Kitchen Raids.'
"Well, we should make a list. Instead of just randomly pranking people, we can go around with a list of people we plan on pranking. Make sure we get everyone we meant to. Spread the love and everything. Of course, Snivellus will be at the top of the list."
"Sounds good to me. What will we call it?"
"How about…" Sirius paused dramatically, hands gesturing grandly, "The List."
"Brilliant," crowed Peter, instantly impressed, once again confirming Sirius' earlier self-assessment. James just grinned and shook his head.
"You have such a strange need to title everything." James shook his head in imaginary dismay. "Okay, here we are. Peter, would you do the honors?" Peter proudly tickled the pear on the painting facing them. Of course, that set James to laughing again as he thought watching someone proudly tickle a painting was quite amusing.
Sirius entered first but then stopped suddenly, blocking the way for the other two boys. "Oh," he said, voice dripping with haughtiness.
"Hullo," responded their roommate, Remus Lupin, mouth full of treacle tart. He seemed to be just finishing a late dinner.
"How do you know where the kitchens are, Lupin?" Sirius narrowed his eyes. This was his special hang out and he resented someone else invading his territory.
"Dumbledore," Remus said, shortly, not wanting to explain further. The previous night had been a particularly bad moon and he only left the infirmary a short time before, promising to get food on the way back to his dormitory.
"Oh," said Sirius, looking down his nose at Remus. "Will you be here long?"
"Just leaving, thanks." Remus shoved the rest of the tart in his mouth and picked up his bag. He stood up quickly to leave, forgetting about the recent injury to his leg. Trying not to make a face and give away his predicament, Remus walked toward the door.
Sirius was still standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, unintentionally blocking both Remus and his friends from passing.
"Are you going to let me leave?" the blond inquired archly, attempting to mask the pain in his thigh.
"And what are you going to do if I don't?"
"I suppose I could sit back down for another tart or I could turn you in for being in the kitchens without permission." Short tempered after his transformation, Remus tried not to be rude, but what he meant to sound calm and logical ended up sounding a bit aggravated and aggressive.
"Whatever, Lupin. You just get more stuck up every year." Sirius moved aside to let his roommate through, glaring the whole time.
Remus pushed past, trying to ignore all three of them. He had enough to deal with today.
After the door closed, Sirius turned to his friends. "Forget Snivellus, Lupin goes on the top of our list."
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"Here he comes, James, get ready."
Remus looked up from his book but before he could register what was happening, he was upside down, hanging by one foot in the middle of the air.
"Oh, ha, ha. You three are so amusing," Remus said from somewhere underneath his robes.
Remus was glad it was winter and he was wearing a full complement of clothing underneath his thin Hogwarts robe.
"Are you going to let me down now?" Remus asked tiredly.
"Don't worry Lupin, someone is sure to come along eventually. You will only miss lunch, and since you know where the kitchens are, it shouldn't be too hard on you." Sirius snickered.
"Lovely," Remus replied dryly, sighing a bit.
He heard the laughter of his three obnoxious roommates trail off into the distance as they left him alone, upside down, in the corridor.
Remus had his wand but no idea how to undo the curse. He thought for a moment, and wiggled out of his robe, letting it fall to the ground. Spotting the book he had been reading, Remus used a wingardium leviosa spell to levitate it up from the floor. Reading always seemed an answer to life's difficulties and it worked just as well upside down.
When Professor McGonagall finally arrived on the scene, she found Remus deeply engrossed in his book, still upside down, looking for all intents and purposes as if he were merely trying a new position in which to enjoy his most recent novel.
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"I really don't think you should do so many pranks. It just doesn't make sense."
"Oh and you are going to tell us all about what makes sense, eh, Loony?"
"Good one Sirius! Loony! Loony Lupin! I like it." James laughed as if it had been the funniest joke he had ever heard and, at least for a twelve year old who had just ingested too much sugar, perhaps it was.
"Really, you two get into so much trouble for all the stunts you pull. Why not just do something else instead and not get into so many messes," Remus asked logically.
"What, you think we should read all the time? Become some sort of uptight nerdy kids? I think there are enough of those in the dorm already." Sirius smirked.
Remus flushed. "Well it is certainly a better plan than getting everyone angry all the time with your mischief making."
"Ooh! I am so afraid of you and your frightening anger! Why, you might actually get mad enough to lecture me, and then what would I do?"
Against his better judgment, Remus tried one last time to reason with the two boys. "I just don't think it is a good idea. You shouldn't prank people."
"Thanks so much for your wonderful advice, Loony! We will get right on that." Sirius snickered while James just grinned devilishly, looking like he was busy thinking up more ways to trick unlucky roommates.
Remus frowned, sighed, and gave up, walking away mumbling something about the lack of logic and reason in Gryffindor Tower.
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Dear Mum and Dad,
How are you? I am fine here. Yes, I do think this year is going better than last year. The study groups are really helping me get a better idea about what is going on in Potions and Herbology and the people are very polite. Don't worry, they aren't close friends or anything but it is nice to have other students to talk to.
It is funny because they all feel sorry for me for having to share a dorm room with Black and Potter now that the two are kind of infamous now with all of their trouble making. Sympathy is nice sometimes. Thank Merlin for the locking spells that come standard on the bed curtains; otherwise, I would be lost.
Just like you suggested, I have talked to them and tried to be reasonable and logical about the whole thing. I don't think they listened though. It just doesn't make sense that Black and Potter are always getting into trouble (and dragging that annoying kid Pettigrew along with them). Who actually wants to get people mad at them? Those two are just very strange I guess.
I know you just planted them, but don't forget that Snuffles doesn't do well with sunflowers. You remember the time in Dorchester with the bizarre gardening accident, right? Maybe you could put up a fence?
Anyhow, I have to go meet with some people in the library. I will owl again next week unless I am very busy. I miss you.
Love, Remus
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All day, Remus had been on his toes. His roommates had been acting particularly odd, and he was suspicious that there was another prank in the works. He considered suddenly coming down with Dragon Pox or perhaps asking if he could move into the Shrieking Shack permanently.
Remus sighed as Madam Pince ushered him out of the library. He had stayed until the very last minute it was open. Too bad he couldn't live here in the middle of the stacks of books. It was calm, quiet, and best of all, his roommates avoided it like the plague.
Trudging back to the Gryffindor common room, he considered that perhaps he had gotten all worked up over nothing. Maybe his roommates had finally given up pranking as a pastime. It might be that James and Sirius realized that their behavior was inappropriate, or maybe Peter talked some sense into them.
He mumbled the password, "Heffalump," and gave a tremulous smile as the portrait lady opened the entrance for him.
Perhaps his roommates were acting oddly because they decided to focus on their studies, finally realizing how important grades were to their futures. Yes, he decided, Sirius, James, and Peter must be up to something other than pranking.
As he entered the dormitory, he looked up to see Sirius smiling that obnoxious grin of his, not even trying to be subtle. His heart dropped into his feet; they were definitely up to something.
"All right, what did you do?"
"What are you talking about, Lupin?" Sirius' smile was anything but innocent.
Remus just peered around the room apprehensively. Nothing jumped out at him and no buckets of water appeared, hovering above his head.
Remus was a creature of habit. After the library closed, he always returned to the dorm, changed out of his uniform, and took a shower. This was partly to avoid having to fight the crush of other students in the showers before breakfast but also, the bathrooms were almost always empty at this time of day. Even the threat of a possible prank didn't seem enough to make him change his ways, but he was cautious.
It didn't seem as if the trunk containing his clothes had been tampered with, but his roommates had a pattern of messing with it. Opening his trunk slowly and with trepidation, Remus leaned as far back as possible, just in case. Nothing happened. Looking suspiciously at Sirius, Remus tried to find a hint as to what exactly was going on. Sirius' eyes glittered and Remus' hackles rose as they exchanged an unspoken challenge.
Another habit Remus developed was looking to Sirius to see what his roommates were planning. Remus paid quite a bit of attention to the black haired boy; sometimes it was helpful to know when to duck. Just by looking at those grey eyes and the stance of the expressive shoulders, Remus could tell if Sirius was full of mischief, anger, happiness or frustration. Sometimes he wondered if Sirius noticed the attention or not. He hoped not.
Glancing up every few seconds warily, Remus carefully pulled a set of clothing from the neatly folded piles on one side of his trunk.
"Hey, James, turn it up," Sirius said, motioning to the wireless. "I love this song."
"Since when do you like Celestina Warbeck?" Remus inquired, suspicions heightening.
"Since very recently," was the reply, accompanied by a sly smile.
Remus stood up slowly, holding his change of clothes loosely enough to grab his wand if he needed it.
From behind him, Peter said, "Hey, Sirius!"
When Remus looked over to Peter to see what was going on, Sirius used the distraction to fire a spell, not at Remus, but at the clothes.
Suddenly, the pile lifted out of the werewolf's grasp and started to move. As Remus gaped, the clothing swayed and twisted to the music, right in the middle of the room. His roommates laughed uproariously as the pair of pants twirled and kicked and the shirt waved its arms to the beat. Panicking, Remus pounced on the nearest piece, the plain white shirt, and tackled it to the ground. Though it was dancing around quite a bit, he jumped and was able to take hold of a pant leg. Remus had trouble keeping a grip on both the pants and the shirt as they continued to try and dance themselves away from him.
After wrestling them back toward his part of the room, he quickly stuffed the two pieces into his trunk to deal with later. Remus was now left looking for the rest of his clothes. One sock was far out of reach near the ceiling and the other had completely disappeared from view.
Worse than the sock, though, was his pair of underwear waltzing around the room, looking as if it were having the time of its life. Which it probably was.
Each time Remus tried to grab it, the piece of material managed move quickly in a different direction. In the meantime, his roommates were on the floor, laughing hysterically at each attempt.
Trying to calm himself down and think, Remus decided to try and disenchant the other items of clothing. After the last prank, he had learned a nice, general disenchantment, and he hoped it would work in this case. Remus pulled out his wand. "Finite Incantem," he invoked, aiming for the mostly stationary yet out of reach sock. Sure enough, it dropped to the ground, motionless.
When he looked around to repeat the spell at the remaining two items of clothing though, there was a small problem; neither seemed to be in the room. It was then that Remus noticed Sirius and James, Wizarding Wireless radio in hand, heading out the door to the common room.
Pure panic accelerating his heartbeat to record levels, Remus raced to the stairs. He was just in time to hear a voice loudly proclaim, "For this afternoon's entertainment, the famous Lupin Dancing Underwear!"
"Rats," he muttered, face turning red at the laughter that was filling up the room.
Hurrying down the stairs, Remus tried to see where his missing garment had fled. Of course, he thought, right in the middle of the common room.
"Finite Incantem," he croaked, waving his wand quickly. The spell missed. There was more laughter.
By this time, Remus was getting desperate. "Finite Incantem, Finite Incantem, Finite Incantem," he called out, trying to target the quickly moving undergarment. The more he fired the spell, the worse his aim seemed to get.
The entire Gryffindor common room was in gales of laugher, except for Remus himself, beet red and firing spells left and right, and one Lily Evans.
Just as the underwear zoomed over his head, deftly pirouetting, Lily wrenched the music box out of James' hands and shut it off. The underwear stopped moving suddenly and then dropped straight down, landing directly on Remus' head. There was one last round of laughter from the crowd of students before their attention began to wane, a final chuckle to themselves about the antics of the Second Year class.
Peeling the offending undergarment off his head, Remus stuffed it quickly in his pocket and turned to Lily. "Thanks, Evans," he said quietly, embarrassed almost beyond words, but not quite traumatized enough to forget his manners.
"I told you to call me Lily, remember?" She smiled kindly.
Before Remus could say anything else, Lily rounded on his roommates. "You three are the most horrible examples of humanity I have ever met! What is wrong with you? Have you no ability to tell right from wrong? If I were a prefect I would give you detention for a month! Invading someone's privacy like that and disrupting the entire dorm…"
As Lily ranted on and on about how terrible his housemates were, Remus tuned out the exact words in order to better appreciate the feeling of someone sticking up for him. Perhaps it was a bad idea, deciding not to get too close to people, he thought. Lily might just be an occasional study partner, but she was kind and brave and just the type of person he would want for a friend, if he were ever to want one that is.
"Come on, Remus. Get your bag. We're going to study together over by the fire. Far away from them."
As Lily pulled a bemused Remus along behind her, James turned to Sirius, a silly grin on his face.
"Wow, that was sure some tirade," he whispered. "She's pretty cool for a girl."
"Mate," Sirius replied, slapping James on the back, "there is something seriously wrong with you."
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Next Time:
"Well James, I might have misjudged him. Perhaps he isn't so stuck up after all."