He needed to get away from here. No, that was wrong. Away from him.
But he didn't want to have told Mycroft that.
Mycroft had come up with 'caring is not an advantage' as an attempt to shelter him away from people, from sentiment, from caring from those who could hurt you. He had protected him when his Dad had gone, his family dead and mother- well…
He come up with it, and tried to use it to fix Sherlock, to find the pieces of the shattered boy and glue them back together after he had fallen off his thin, so very thin line that he danced on, the line of- Well, whatever you wanted to call it, sanity? Morality? Humanity?
But the cracks would always show, no matter how many times Mycroft tried to cover and protect them with 'not an advantage' 'sentimentality is a weakness' 'feelings will only cause pain'. In a way they did mask the crack, but they also created their own problems. Like Sherlock didn't feel. Sherlock didn't care, Sherlock is a machine. A machine that can sometimes break.
This is why he wished he didn't tell Mycroft that he needed to get away from john, because he had put up a fight against Mycroft's…lessons for a while. Years even. Saying he didn't need them, he could take care of himself. In telling him he needed to get away from john, he was telling Mycroft he cared, and that meant he hadn't won those fights after all, and was still dependant of Mycroft.
He sighed, and relaxed deeper into his hospital bed. He wished the pillows would smother him. And get him out of this mess once and for all
And then what would you be remembered as?
Ugh, not you again, go away.
You'd be remembered as someone who gave up. Someone who wouldn't stand up for himself. Someone who was weak, and not smart, someone just the same as everyone else.
Everyone else would want to give up too, now shut up and leave me to die. If you really want to help, show me a way out of thi- no wait don't, I can do it on my own.
Exactly. Besides, I've given you help already, I don't want to help you again…
Sherlock took his hand off of his forehead, letting it flop down on the bed beside him. And frowned.
~Three days later~
"JOHN GRAB YOUR KEYS COME ON!"
"Sherlock, do you really think you should be going on this case? I mean, it seems a bit… lengthy, and you haven't recovered properly, and- we need to hire a car, I cant drive, and I don't think you can either, and I'm certainly not getting in a car with you!"
"of course I can drive John! Don't be so stupid!"
"do you have a drivers licence?"
"…no"
"god help me"
John skulked into the kitchen, snatching his keys off the counter (they were next to the toes) and walked into the living room, seeing Sherlock standing waiting for him by front door smirking "where is it we're going again?"
"the moors apparently, oh this is going to be a good one john I can feel it!" the detective smiles as he rushes down the stairs, leaving the doctor to trail un enthusiastically behind. "Oh come along now john! Don't look like that, it'll be great, somewhere new to go, London's great for murders, but this- THIS john will be an adventure, an adventure we didn't see coming" he exclaims as he reaches the front door
"its unexpected, especially as you hated the idea to begin with"
Sherlock smirks and opens the door, turning to see Mycroft standing on the step outside. His smile drops "what are you doing here?" he snarls
Mycroft smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes "I may ask you the same thing, hello John"
The doctor peers round Sherlock, spies Mycroft and the glare Sherlock is shooting him and raises his head, intrigued "hello"
"I'm going out on a case"
"I though you were going" Mycroft shoots Sherlock a meaningful look
"I decided against it, besides, it'll be an adventure" Sherlock puts emphasis on the last bit, it sounded mocking, playful, but it meant much more.
"well, its certainly an unexpected adventure" Mycroft purrs back
Sherlock glares deeper into Mycroft's eyes
I don't need you anymore
Mycroft smiles back
We'll see
Fin.
Possibly. Probably. We'll see.
Yes, last chapter. That wasn't that hard now was it?
Okay so hi. Very long time I know, and I said I wouldn't complete it sorry about that. I hit writers block, panicked a bit and then just couldn't be bothered to finish it. Sorry. Yeah, well its done now. Also I found this in one of the previous chapters and it REALLY HIT HOME GUYS!
'No questions asked, if john ever saw Sherlock wearing a hat, especially a deer stalker, then it must be nearly the end of the world.'
It hurt because Sherlock wore a deerstalker in scandal, and then he jumped off a roof. And Johns world ended. IT HURTS STILL.
god Sherlock you're such a twat.
So es, you guys seriously, all the awards, you are the greatest for not giving up on me, and staying loyal I cant even. I ACTUALLY love you, you are all of a higher human being standard than I am. Any questions or if you want to throw some abuse my way feel free to PM me.
Xxxxxx
a slightly drunk Alice
xxxxxx
ALSO did you get the 'hobbit' hint hidden (in plain sight) in this chapter?
You should have.