The story thus far: After being advised not to make close friends at school, Remus and his dorm mates get off to a rocky start. Remus makes a friend in Lily, and they present a united front when it comes to Sirius and James.

Warnings: Slash, eventual RLSB

Disclaimers: Don't own it.

Notes: Once again, thanks to Oony and Rry.

ooooooooooooooo

The Worst Year Yet

By Rekahneko

Chapter 8 – Fifth Year, Good Times in the Astronomy Tower

ooooooooooooooo

"Remus, I just want to say thank you for last night in the Astronomy Tower."

Remus looked at Lily with wide eyes, wondering exactly what she was talking about. He had been in the library last night, up late with yet another killer potions essay. At his confused expression, she raised her eyebrows and pointed discreetly to the map. Sure enough, two dots labeled 'Black, Sirius' and 'Potter, James' had appeared close to their desk. Remus raised an eyebrow and then smiled.

"Oh Lily, indeed it was amazing," the blond boy finally replied with a wide grin. Before he got to know her, Remus never would have guessed Lily had such a wicked sense of humor.

"In fact, I might go so far as to say it was one of the best times I've ever had up there." Remus winked broadly at the red-head next to him.

"I just never knew you had so much experience," she cooed. There was a choking sound from the seemingly empty space between the desk and the end of the hallway. The two pretended like they hadn't heard anything and continued the conversation.

Remus gently covered one of her hands with one of his own. He paused dramatically and looked soulfully into her eyes, or at least he tried. The expression was a bit harder to master than he would have thought, since he didn't think he was supposed to be grinning at the same time. "Well you weren't so bad yourself. With a little more practice…"

Trying to repress giggles, Lily gamely continued. "Oh yes, we should definitely practice more often. And I can't say enough about that thing you do… Well, you know." Her eyebrows wiggled knowingly.

A muted noise vaguely resembling a protest came from where the two pranksters were hiding. Remus was hard pressed to continue feigning ignorance while he was about to burst into laughter. He decided to cut to the chase before his amusement at James and Sirius became obvious enough that the two boys realized they were being set up.

"Yes Lily, I'm so glad that I was able to help you with your astronomy. I know the knobs and dials on the telescope are difficult to adjust correctly and take a lot of practice, but I think you did a great job learning the basics."

They two at the desk kept their eyes on the map as the two unwanted dots left down the hallway. Remus' werewolf ears picked up a faint "Argh!" as the boys got farther and farther away.

"Okay, they're gone now," Remus said, no longer having to hide his laughter.

"Oh Reeeeeemus, my dearest love!" She responded in between gasping laughs. "I bet they really thought…" Lily couldn't continue speaking through her laughter and instead waved her arms around trying to get across her point.

"Hey now! Is it so hard to imagining that we would have a wild and crazy time together in the Astronomy Tower?" Remus' expression was filled with mock offense as he threw a balled up piece of paper at his study partner.

"Yes, yes it is so hard to imagine." She giggled at her friend, glad they had long ago acknowledged the complete and total lack of romantic interest between them. "You know, we are becoming fairly good at getting rid of them when they come by for one of their little visits. I wish I had seen their faces!"

The chestnut haired boy beamed happily as his head was filled with images of Sirius and James gaping like fish out of water. "Indeed, getting something over on the two of them is strangely satisfying. Sometimes I get the urge to pull a horrifically large prank on those two. Thus far, I have managed to restrain myself. I don't want to sink to their level after all."

"Then you should pull a prank that rises above the level of their usual bathroom humor," Lily rejoined. "Something stylish, intelligent, and utterly humiliating that the whole school can enjoy."

"Well, I certainly have enough ideas. The last few years living with Sirius and James have inspired massive amounts of creativity when it comes to imagining payback." Remus sighed and shook his head. "Those two… Sirius drives me insane, I swear! He has more energy than any ten normal people put together and he seems to spend all of it trying to make me jump out of the nearest window."

"James is much worse with his thick skull. Always smiling and laughing, never serious, nothing seems to faze him at all. It's just not normal."

They began to rehash their favorite argument; which black haired boy was the most difficult. The two had been arguing the various points back and forth since they became friends and had yet to come to an agreement. Perhaps this time the conversation wouldn't degenerate into their second favorite argument (new this year); which black haired boy was better looking. Doubtful though.

ooooooooooooooo

"Argh!" Sirius Black dragged his friend into the nearest empty classroom and whipped off the invisibility cloak.

"That was close! I was sure they were going to realize we were there." James Potter said, slightly out of breath.

Sirius rounded on James, "What were you thinking? You almost gave us away when Evans did that face with the eyebrows thing at Lupin. If people find out about the invisibility cloak, we're going to get fingered for more of our pranks."

"'That face with the eyebrows thing?' You're so eloquent, Sirius. And I had to put my hand over your mouth after that comment about Lupin being experienced. I mean really!" James grinned, delighted at yet another chance to tease his friend.

"For a moment there, I almost thought they, well. Anyhow. I should know by now that they never say anything interesting when they study." Sirius grimaced. "Remember that one time they almost sounded like they were going to say something incriminating, and then all of a sudden they started talking about Russian playwrights or something horribly boring like that? Maybe we just have terrible timing."

"Or maybe they never talk about interesting stuff and we should just give up spying on them like I keep trying to suggest."

"Right, like you aren't the one always trying to get me to stalk them with you. At least they didn't decide to try out any spells today." Sirius shuddered at the memory of getting caught by a stray spell when Lily had tried to show Remus how to successfully cast some sort of complex charm having something to do with chickens. He had shed feathers for hours after that.

"It's too bad that someone so terribly handsome is completely stuck up and dreadfully dull."

"Sirius, if you really think Lupin is dull, why do you hang on his every word in class? You can't seem to keep your attention off him for more than 3 minutes." James made a face at his slightly obsessed friend.

Rather than disagree, Sirius rolled his eyes and folded up the cloak. "Come on, let's go to the kitchens for a snack."

"Sure thing. Maybe we can think up some better pick up lines on the way. Apparently the comment comparing Lily's hair to tomato paste didn't go over so well. I thought it was funny myself. The hex I got sure was a tough one." James smiled fondly.

"You are so strange." Sirius shook his head at his friend's wistful smile. "At least she does something. Lupin just stares at me. It's really frustrating."

"Hey now. Sometimes he glares or raises an eyebrow in addition to staring!" James grinned and pulled his friend toward the kitchens.

ooooooooooooooo

Journal Entry, Early October, Fifth Year

I am so excited about my prank idea! I hope it all turns out well. I wonder if Lily will want to help me out. She is so great at charms and I will need all the extra planning assistance that I can get. And of course she is brilliant at potions and I am really not the best when it comes to application (though my theory is quite solid if I do say so myself).

Should I ask for Lily's help with the potion part or ask Severus? He is better at potions but can be selective in who he decides to take pity on, and it might be awkward after the 'incident' last year. I really don't want to antagonize Malfoy again! Plus, Severus has been acting very conceited this year. I do hope Lily will help with the prank.

In other Sirius news, he did it again. He waltzed up to me right after potions class and said, "Hey, sexy. Wanna shag?" I mean, really. The situation is just getting silly. What did he think I was going to say? I just put my hands on my hips and did my usual silent glare until he gave up and left. It isn't like he can tell that my heart rate doubles when he says things like that and he certainly can't see the images his words conjure up in my head. What a total and utter idiot. A totally shaggable idiot. Damn.

The times this year we ended up having actual conversations, while they may be few and far between, have been quite nice. Certainly I know him better than he might think, since I can (and do) secretly listen in on his banter with James and Peter. Sirius may be moody and outrageous, but he is also absurdly loyal and genuinely caring when it comes to his friends, and quite amusing to boot. Often I have to hide my grin so I won't give away the fact that I just overheard a humorous remark.

I mean, maybe if I was sure he wasn't just making those comments to me as some sort of joke… And if I thought he could ever be serious (which he never is, especially when it comes to serious and black puns). Or if I thought I could trust him with the whole werewolf secret…

Actually, that last bit is really what it would take for me to actually consider being with him. I know I could never trust Sirius to react well to finding out that I am a werewolf. At best, he would think it was one big opportunity for blackmail or pranking. At worst… Well, it doesn't bear thinking about. Ah well. If wishes were horses, beggars could ride, right?

ooooooooooooooo

"So how is Susan?"

"Huh?"

"Susan. You know, your girlfriend?"

"Oh, right. That Susan. I need to break up with her."

James laughed. "It has only been a week, Sirius. She still has that 'Oh my god, I'm allowed to touch THE Sirius Black' look."

"Yeah, but she's so boring! There is only so much a good snog can make up for. Plus, she's not really very bright. I've never even seen her with a book open."

"Sirius, the only times I've seen you with a book open is when we've been sneaking into the restricted section."

"Exactly, so whoever I date needs to be bookish enough for the both of us." Sirius snuck a look across the common room to where Remus was curled up on a chair, reading. "Anyhow, I thought of a new pickup line for Lupin."

Groaning, James covered his eyes. "I'm sure I don't even want to know. You don't really expect it to work, do you?"

"No, not really. But sometimes, the way he looks at me when I say something way over the top, well. It's so focused and intense. Those eyes are absolutely to die for. I wish he'd look at me more often."

"Great Merlin, you really have it bad. So you don't expect the lines to work, yet you still use them. You haven't given up on actually getting him, have you?"

"Heck, no! I am just biding my time. Until I figure out the right strategy. Or he comes to his senses."

"How about when I'm finally dating Lily, we can ask her advice on Lupin."

"Nah. I want to be with him sometime in this lifetime, thanks."

Sirius knew very well that his pick up line wouldn't be effective on Remus Lupin. At this point, he was just hoping for a reaction of some sort. Any sort. Sometimes when Lupin glared at him with what must be annoyance, Sirius would imagine that there was something else completely different going on behind those intense eyes.

Sighing, he toyed with his quill. Remus' quill, actually. James had given him a hard time about keeping it and returning a completely different one to their quietest roommate. Sirius supposed becoming attached to a feather was a bit ridiculous, after all. In fact, he decided didn't really care one bit about the silly thing, now that he thought about it.

"Hey, Sirius. Can I borrow your quill for a second to jot down the homework before I forget?"

Peter received a growl from Sirius for even thinking about using his precious quill for a lowly thing such as scribbling down some stupid assignment.

"Or not," the chubby boy muttered.

"By the way," James interjected, grinning like a loon. "Nice quill you have there, mate. Where'd ya get it?"

"Bite me."

Wagging a finger, James replied, "Sirius, there is a very fine line between love and nausea."

ooooooooooooooo

Next Time:

"You know, Lily, I have been thinking about your suggestion."

"Which one, Remus? The one where you become the leader of the Underground Werewolf Resistance and back my bid to take over the Ministry of Magic?"