I finally got around to updating my Akatsuki Drabbles! Enjoy!

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Kakuzu sighed, his red and green eyes taking in the sight that lay before him what he was viewing was my room; the door shattered and nearly torn from its hinges, blood splattered across the floor and walls, a large crack in the stone wall, and a blood soaked me sunk deep in the belly of a giant bean bag chair with my nose buried in Death Note Volume Seven.

"Do I even want to know why your room is a battlefield and there's a dismembered Hidan in the front yard?" He asked, sounding tired.

"Hmm, probably not." I said brightly, turning a page. "You might just blow a heart out like last time 'cuz of your high blood pressure."

He grimaced at the memory, and I continued. "I'm just gonna need some cash to get the door fixed."

He treated me to one of his infamous death glares.

"I should just kill the both of you; it would be much cheaper than letting you live." He growled, stalking over to where I lay in my plush chair to tower over me menacingly.

"Ah, y'know you love me." I stated, looking up from my manga briefly to grin at my stitched up lover. "Plus, the immortality factor kinda screws up your latest plan to save cash."

"Fine," he grunted, sounding irritated. 'Then the door repair money is coming out of your paycheck."

"WHAT?" I yelped indignantly, sitting upright abruptly and wincing as I jostled the wound Hidan had inflicted earlier, causing fresh blood too trickle forth. Pressing a hand to it, I glared up at the ex-Waterfall ninja. "That's not fair! Hidan's the fuckwad that broke the Jashin-damned thing! Take it out of his freakin' paycheck!"

"You obviously provoked him in some way." He said calmly, unfazed by my outburst. "Therefore as the instigator of the current issue, you are the one at fault here."

I felt the blood flow from my injury increase as my blood pressure spiked in anger at his words. "That's some seriously fucked up logic and you know it, 'Kuzu!"

"Hmph." He grunted, apparently not listening to me anymore. His attention was elsewhere, and suddenly he leaned down and jerked open my cloak.

"Hey!" I yelled in surprise, trying to button the garment back up. "What the hell's your problem, Kakuzu?"

Before I could close the press fasteners, his huge tan hands enveloped my smaller ones and pinned them over my head firmly. I stared up at his masked face, startled by his sudden change in mood and confused by his actions. I squirmed and tried to break his iron grip, but all I succeded in doing was aggravating my wound further. Instead of letting me go, he straddled me, effectively pinning my hips down.

"K-Kakuzu," I stammered, trying to beat down my stupid teenage hormones that were raging form the close contact. "What the f-"

Thick black tendrils suddenly wrapped around my face, sealing my mouth shut. I began wriggling again, anger fueling my fight, but stopped short when I felt a large calloused hand slip itself under my shirt and glide over my skin, leaving goose bumps in its wake. I shivered involuntarily, blushing a little in spite of myself. I was a bit confused when the hand stopped at the wound on my belly until I felt the sting of Kakuzu's tendrils piercing my skin. I let out a muffled cry of pain as they began weaving in and out of my flesh, closing the wound Hidan had inflicted earlier.

"Don't be a baby," he said calmly, finishing the stitches and looking down at his work.

I glared daggers up at him, my mouth still tied shut. He finally noticed my annoyance and raised one dark eyebrow.

"What?" he inquired, tilting his head. "Would you rather I just let you bleed?"

I nodded violently and he shook his head.

"You really are insane." He muttered, climbing off me and releasing me from my bindings. I sat up and ripped the makeshift gag from my face; those tentacles tasted freaking disgusting. In addition to that, I was blushing and hot all over; damn Kakuzu just had to go and make me horny! I disguised my horniness with biting sarcasm as I replied "No shit Sherlock! Did you really just figure that out? Bloody fucking brilliant, 'Kuzu – "

"Why are you blushing?" he interrupted, staring at me.

"I'm not!" I snapped, cursing mentally as more blood rose to my already burning cheeks.

"Yes you are," he stated bluntly, moving closer. "And I would like to know why – "

"ALRIGHT, FUCK IT, I WAS BLUSHING 'CUZ YOU GOT ME HORNY, OKAY? I shouted at the stitched ninja, ripping his mask away from his scarred face while grabbing the front of his cloak before he could react to my words and pulling him in for a deep kiss. It didn't last long; he overcame the shock of my outburst quickly and restrained me with his tentacles once more.

"Kakuzu, get your stitched-up ass over here so I can fuck you." I growled with as much ferocity as I could muster. It had about as much of an effect as if I'd thrown a sponge at him, and he left while straightening his coat and mask.

"Honestly, you young people and your sex-drives are insane." He muttered as he left me tied up on the floor.

"Kakuzu, you dick," I snarled into the floor, unashamedly checking out his toned ass through his cloak as he stalked away. "I WILL make you pay for this…"

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:3 This chapter made me giggle when I wrote it. I hope you liked it!