Oh dear goddess, I did it :) finally lol. I thought the end would be more of an explosion...but well, you'll see. I hope you have enjoyed this story. I have a half written 9th chapter, but I don't know that I am going to post it here since this wraps up nicely here, we'll see :)
Read and Review :)
Disclaimer: I didn't own them the last 7 chapters, I don't own them in this one either.
At the moment confusion and consideration were the foremost emotions on Raven's mind. She sat in the alcove behind the kitchen in the control room and tried to meditate in the dark. She wasn't altogether certain where the other Titans had disappeared to, but she enjoyed the silence.
She had spoken the truth to Robin when she had said that she knew little of love, her childhood just hadn't been conducive to nurturing that kind of emotion. The monks had known how volatile it was and how much harm could be caused from it.
All other emotion, at least in her experience, stemmed from love. You could have anger, happiness, sadness, all the emotions without love, but for the most part they remained separate entities. None of them fed off of each other the way they could all feed off of love.
Simply put, love was dangerous, especially for her. Raven knew that her friendships with the Titans, her family, had a certain amount of love in it now. She also knew that she was freer to deal with her emotions now, but love like Robin wanted was a frightening thing. She would admit to herself at least, that it terrified her.
"Why Robin, why?" She whispered quietly to herself. "You can never leave well enough alone can you?"
She heard the whisper of a sound behind her, bracing herself she unfolded from her meditation pose and turned to look at the intruder.
"Hello," All thought froze in his mind as he looked at her, she was always beautiful, but the shadows were her home and they brought out a unique kind of beauty that took his breath away.
She continued to stare at him, her gaze steady and unwavering. It revealed none of the turmoil that boiled inside her.
"Raven," Robin began again, carefully rehearsing his game plan in his mind. "You look beautiful."
She arched a brow at him and then glanced down at her uniform. "I look the same as I do every day."
"You're always beautiful," He gave a small smile and held up a hand to keep her from interrupting. "I know you don't believe me, but you are. I've written enough really bad poetry about your hair and eyes that I have had time to contemplate each of your fine points."
"Poetry?" Her voice was dry and if possible her brow seemed to arch even higher.
"Heh," He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck embarrassed, but determined to go on. "Yeah, I thought it might persuade you to see how I felt, but I don't think any of it should see the light of day."
"I know how you feel," She scrunched her brow in confusion, "You told me remember?"
"People say a lot of things Raven; you've heard the words before." He shrugged. "I realized that words aren't enough, they don't even begin to explain how I feel…what I feel."
"Robin, I know I told you that I would have a decision tonight but…" She grimaced, she hated not keeping her word, but her fear had her frozen at indecision.
"No," Robin shook his head at her, "I shouldn't have asked for a time limit. What I feel isn't going to expire at midnight no matter what you say." He took a chance and reached out to put his hand on her arm to draw her a little closer, when she didn't resist he ran it down her arm and held on to her hand. "I love you Raven and it scares the hell out of me." He admitted softly.
"It scares you?" Surprise had her jerking her gaze up to meet his.
He gave a harsh chuckle, "You think any of this has been easy for me?" He tilted his head and smiled at her. "I don't know what you are going to say in the end, I feel like I have jumped off the top of the tower and realized that my grappling gun is missing."
"Why then Robin?" She asked curious, "Why even bring this up if it is only going to cause pain, frustration and fear?"
"Because it hurt more not to say anything Raven," He shrugged a shoulder and ran his fingers softly over her hand, reveling in the smoothness of her skin.
"I don't know what to do with all this," Raven replied hesitantly, slowly picking her way through the emotional mine field she had been avoiding for the last week. "So much can go wrong here, I don't even know if I can love like you want Robin."
"You already do Raven," He smiled at her startled look. "We wouldn't even be having this discussion if you didn't, you would have given me an answer immediately if you didn't love me. We both know that, you loving me; me loving you. That isn't really the problem is it?"
"No," She agreed, "I like to know that the sun is going to rise in the morning and set in the evening. I find comfort in the fact that Beastboy is never funny and that Star is always optimistic. This is change, complete and utter change Robin. I have to step onto the bridge and hope that it will hold my weight."
"Our weight, you aren't in this alone."
"You can't be inside my head; you don't know what this is doing to my emotions." She shook her head and stared off over his shoulder.
"It can't be any different for you than it is for me." He disagreed. "Batman was my mentor, his training made it completely clear that relationships for heroes don't work. I believed that until I met you. Honestly Raven, I can't not try to make this work with you."
"Why me?" She tilted her head again, her gaze curious and Robin wondered if she realized how tightly she was now gripping his hand.
He smiled, after a week of thought this was an easy question. "I love you. It's as simple and complex as that. I'm fascinated by you. Being with you, belonging to you is worth everything I have ever gone through."
"I can't give you any guarantees, doesn't that mean anything?" She asked softly as he took her hand and pressed a kiss into the palm.
"I don't need any guarantees; I only need you to love me." Robin drew her to him and rested his cheek against the top of her head.
"I do." She whispered softly, curving her body to fit his. "I do."