A/N Sorry for the delay! My school has been dumping assignment after assignment on me, and I haven't had much time to write. Finally, now that they've eased off, I was able to write and proofread this chapter. Any constructive criticism is appreciated. =)

Also, a big thanks to all of those that have patiently waited for this chapter. And to all the people that have put me on their alerts. =)

Chapter 12

I was torn it two. I felt weak, felt like fainting. There was no way out of doing this, except disobeying a direct order from not only a Speaker, but Lucien Lachance himself. I knew I had to do this, but why?

When he had told me of my mission, I saw pain in his eyes, and knew he didn't want this, that he had fought to try and protect them.

"I'm to kill everyone in the Sanctuary?" my voice shook slightly as I interrupted him.

"I am truly sorry, Eveandril, but the Black Hand has chosen you to carry out the Purification. We must stop the traitor here before they can do any more harm to the Brotherhood," he said softly.

Teinaava, Ocheeva, Talaendril, Gogron, M'raaj-Dar, Vicente, and even Antoinetta; I was being ordered to kill them. They were my family, my friends, the only people who understood and accepted me for who I am.

"These will aid you in your coming task," his voice seemed far-off, almost dreamlike.

I didn't notice Lucien had moved until he stood right in front of me, holding some items.

"An always lethal poisoned apple," he placed three in my hands, as well as a worn piece of paper, "and a scroll of dark magic that when used will summon the ghost of Rufio, your first victim. He was weak in life, but his spirit is quite angry in death. When called, he will appear and unleash his anger on your foes," I winced. 'Your foes,' he called my family! Why, Sithis? Why, gods? Why must this happen?

"I can't do this! I won't kill them!" I cried.

He gazed at me, thinking for a moment. "You will learn in time, Eveandril, that those you love can be replaced, no matter how devoted you are to them. Your only loyalty should lie with the Night Mother and Sithis, for it is they who grant you the gift of murder," His tone brooked now argument, but I saw in his eyes that he didn't quite believe his own words, but I also saw the utter devotion he had to Sithis and our Mother.

"Now go!" I snapped back to the present and looked at his face, now hidden by his cowl. "The Cheydinhal Sanctuary must be Purified! Everyone in that place must die if this treachery is to be undone!"

I turned abruptly, suddenly wanting to be alone, to be some place I could think. Climbing up the rope ladder and out the trapdoor, I heard his voice echo up to me.

"Good luck, my Silencer." Silencer? But I'm an Executioner... I've never even heard of that rank...

Once in the open air, I simply ran. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was planning to do once I got there, but sprinting allowed me to focus on motion instead of what I was considering.

I made a path of footprints through the freshly fallen sleet as I bolted to who knows where. A thick cloud of fog closed the path behind me. When I finally stopped, I realized I was in the forest, in a small clearing. My gasping breaths made small clouds of moisture in the frozen air as I sat heavily on the wet snow. Only now did I force myself to think of my newest contract.

But I can't kill them! They are the only family I've known since Kvatch. It's been only six months, I know, but I feel as if I've known them my whole life. Why must the gods torment me so?

Spirit! Please help me! There was no soothing voice inside my head, no guidance from my Spirit.

Where are you? I begged desperately. Answer me! "Spirit!" I cried, curling into a ball on the frozen ground. This was the first time he didn't answer me when I called.

I remembered when I had first met my family he had said "They will be part of your life as long as you wish it." Did he mean that I should run? Or tell them? Should I carry out the contract?

Suddenly, I understood. This part of my life is not written yet, I thought in despair. He cannot guide me if he doesn't know what happens next! The realization of this didn't make my task any easier, though.

Near, I heard a low howl. I looked up eyes trying to penetrate the white depths of the fog, hands going to my daggers. Suddenly, a lone wolf appeared in front of me, only a few metres away. It was covered head to tail in long white fur, with the exception of a large black patch covering its left eye and ear. It trotted up to me, but its hackles weren't raised and it seemed more like a tame dog coming to its master. Something stopped me from killing such an amazing creature, and so I placed my daggers on the ground, close enough to reach if need be, and stretched out a hand to greet the wolf. As the animal neared, I noticed its eyes for the first time. The left eye was a deep brown and seemed as if it was full of wisdom, but the right eye was a bright blue, roguish and full of life, giving the creature a mischievous air.

The wolf pressed its nose to my outstretched hand and lay down just in front of me, staring intently into my eyes.

"Now why didn't you attack me?" I murmured, tentatively stroking the soft, sleek fur of its head.

The animal continued to gaze at me, and I saw something flash through its gaze; a glimpse of bright yellow, followed closely by violet that disappeared before I could be certain that it wasn't my imagination.

I closed my eyes, the soft fur calming under my fingertips, and once again sought the wisdom of my Spirit, but he remained silent. Instead, a different voice came to me, this time feminine.

"Hush, child, do not cry for your 'Spirit,' you call it? He is no longer in this realm, but he is safe. I am here, now, to help you.

"You must complete this contract, for it is the only way that the true traitor will be caught. The fate of the Brotherhood rests with you."

The fate of the Brotherhood? The true traitor? What is she talking about?

Finally, when the sun touched the western horizon, I came to the reluctant decision that I had to do this; that I must kill my family to save the Brotherhood.

The wolf stood and seemed to nod at me before disappearing into the fog.

"Wait! Where are you going!" I tried to follow the wolf, but his tracks had disappeared in the soft snow that was falling; winter had truly begun.

I slowly made my way back to Cheydinhal, back to the Sanctuary. Standing before the well, I collected myself, putting on a mask of everyday life. People filled the streets, preparing for the Old Life festival that marked the end of Evening Star. Another year gone, I thought. Soon, it would be Morning Star, with the citizens of Tamriel, who had attempted to go without sleep for the whole night, starting new festivities for New Life. It will be a very busy and drunken few days.

I entered the Sanctuary, my ears and nose smarting from the sudden heat.

Teinaava greeted me as I dropped down the last few rungs, "Eva! It is good to see you again." He stood and hugged me briefly. Concern appeared in his eyes when he saw the state I was in. My clothes were wet from the rain and sleet, and my face and hands were bright red from cold. "You are frozen! Come to the kitchen; Antoinetta was brewing some tea earlier, and there might still be some." He pulled me through the door leading to the kitchen. I sat on one of the chairs as he searched the cupboards for cups and poured the tea when he found them.

"Thank you, Tiny." I smiled as he offered me the cup. "Is everyone here?" I asked, sipping the steaming tea.

"Only Vicente; the others left this afternoon, but Gogron is expected to return tomorrow morning," Teinaava poured himself a cup of the tea and sat across from me.

"But he won't return while drawing breath."

I nearly jumped when I heard the voice, my tea spilling slightly as my hands shook. My Spirit had never spoken to me without my calling it, but this one called to me.

After Teinaava had convinced me to bathe and sleep, I lay in bed, listening to his even breathing, as he had come in just after I finished preparing for sleep.

Tomorrow, I would hunt. The word was strange to me, because it was my family that I was hunting. It hurt.

I closed off the part of me that told me they were family, and instead tried to see them as strangers, as targets. It was difficult. These people had been the closest thing to family since Kvatch. They taught me how to be a good assassin, that I could trust someone with my life again. I loved them. The hours passed with my thoughts spinning through my head as I waited until morning.

~{::}~

I crept out of the Sanctuary, trying not to wake Teinaava. I knew where Gogron would be, and what route he would use, because she had said so in a dream that I had had during a snippet of sleep.

Atisha wasn't at the stables. I had forgotten all about her, until this moment. There was no way to track her now, and I had bigger problems on my mind. She would have to wait.

It wasn't long before I sighted Gogron's camp. It was set in the forest, next to a small creek. A beautiful spot, I'd have thought, but I barely acknowledged it because there he was, sleeping soundly in his tent.

It was as if some force was taking over my body, and I was watched as I pulled the Blade of Woe out and crept towards the sleeping figure. I felt my hand guide the blade over his neck, blood gushing from the wound.

His eyes flew open and the look he gave me pierced me right in the heart. It was the look of fear, disbelief, and utter betrayal.

"I'm sorry," I choked, a tear leaking from my right eye, before fleeing the scene and running back to the Sanctuary, strangely feeling nothing.

I stopped where the little creek ended in a pool and tried to wash the blood off of my hands. Many minutes passed, and though the water was tinted crimson and my skin returned to its normal colour, I don't think I ever truly washed his blood, off of my hands.

I felt hollow as I walked away from his body; a piece of me left behind, where Gogron lay, drenched in the substance he loved to take from others.

The snow turned to sleet and then rain as I ran back to Cheydinhal. The droplets pelted my face, finding their way into my eyes and mouth. Strangely, some of them tasted of salt.

~{::}~

I returned to the Sanctuary as quickly as possible. It felt odd to be sneaking into the place, hoping that no one saw me.

I noticed movement near one of the doors as I stood in the shadows. I caught a glimpse of Vicente's back as he returned to his room after a night of feasting. I pulled my hood further over my head in an attempt to hide the redness of my features.

Suddenly, I heard Teinaava lumbering tiredly out of bed, and quickly sat in a chair closest to the fire, the flames warming my chilled body. I picked up a book that happened to be on the table. Darkest Darkness read the title, and I opened it to a random page and tried to take in the words. I could see them on the page, but they made no sense, whatsoever.

"Good morning, Eva," Teinaava grinned sleepily at me from the door to the sleeping quarters.

"'Morning, Tiny," I said, my calm voice hiding the horror I was feeling.

"Has Gogron returned yet?" he glanced around briefly.

"Not yet. I thought he was expected later. I think Vicente is back, though; I heard some skulking earlier," I flashed him a quick smile.

"Always skulking, that one," he teased.

"I can hear you, you know," Vicente's voice echoed from down the hall towards his rooms.

Teinaava and I exchanged glances and while he chuckled, I managed a laugh. I had spent many years schooling my expressions when I lived in the Imperial City Waterfront, as well as in Valenwood, where I had to hide from my 'father.' Now was time to use this skill.

~{::}~

M'raaj-Dar spoke to me after he had returned that afternoon, much earlier than expected.

"Eva, I've been thinking, and..." I felt dread creeping over me. Did he see what I've done? "Well, I want to say that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you in the past," he said, the words coming out in a rush.

My eyebrows shot up in disbelief, and perhaps even shock. Our cold brother was apologising for mistreating me? Why would he suddenly abandon his façade of hatred for me? And why now? Why must he apologise today, not two days ago, or even a month, or never?

"I mean look at you!" he continued hastily, gesturing to me with emphasized actions of the arms. "The things you've accomplished! You've obviously proven yourself a valuable member of this Sanctuary." He was sincere; it showed in his eyes. He was genuinely concerned with how I handled this, about how I reacted.

"So let's start over, shall we? I know from now on, you and I are going to be great friends!" grinning at me, he waited for me to respond.

This was completely unexpected. I knew he cared for this family, but to actually extend an offer of friendship to me, the newest member of the family that he, until recently, it seemed, so adamantly despised?

Dread pitted in my stomach. This just makes things worse. How am I supposed to accept this if I'm to kill him as soon as possible? Sithis, I hope this is just a bad dream. Please, let me wake up and forget this ever happened!

Before I realized what was happening, I heard myself saying:

"Of course I forgive you, dearest Brother," he pulled me into a tight hug. I could pull out my dagger now and end this. No, too many witnesses. What am I thinking?

"Let's go join the others," he said, stepping back, grinning widely.

~{::}~

"Gogron is curiously late," Vicente observed as we sat in the commons.

"He might have been delayed," Talaendril, who had arrived about an hour ago, suggested hopefully.

I was about to answer when Ocheeva and Antoinetta came through the front door, carrying something heavy between them. Gogron.

The three of us were on our feet immediately, running towards the figures stumbling over his mass. They lay him in the middle of the room, and it was then that I saw the tears pouring down Antoinetta's face. Ocheeva was slightly better composed, but she had a shocked, sad look on her face that broke what was left of my heart.

Teinaava and M'raaj-Dar, upon hearing the commotion in the commons, appeared in the doorway to the Training hall. They, too, rushed towards Gogron's prone figure.

I heard a strange choking sound to my right, where I noticed Talaendril sinking to the ground in despair.

"We found him a little way outside the city walls," Ocheeva spoke softly to Vicente.

"What happened?" he murmured back.

"I think it was the work of the traitor," they exchanged a despairing glance.

The traitor... Who among you is a traitor? a little singsong voice in my head wondered. What's happening to me?

Talaendril was weeping uncontrollably beside me. I crouched down to her and hugged her, thoughts blazing through my mind.

It was me! I can't believe I could do this! All this is my fault!

She buried her face into my shoulder as I absent-mindedly stroked her hair, cooing words of comfort that were as much for me as for her.

After I don't know how long, we all helped carry Gogron's body to the largest table in the commons. We lay his lifeless form on it and Vicente and Ocheeva disappeared into the hallway to begin the preparations for his funeral.

~{::}~

I spent an hour or so comforting a hysterical Talaendril after the funeral. We all knew that there was something special between her and Gogron, and she was taking his death hard.

"I-I c-can't b-b-believe he's g-gone!" she cried.

"Shh, Tali, I can't either. We can only hope that he has taken his rightful place with Sithis in the Void," I cooed.

"W-who wo-would do su-su-such a t-thing? W-w-why?"

For reasons I can't explain. I'm so sorry, Tali.

"D-don't b-be sor-sorry, Eva," she murmured, "it wasn't-t you-your fault." I hadn't realized that I'd said the last part out loud.

How little you know, I thought, wishing for something beside the hollowness that I felt.

"Tomorrow," the voice whispered, "tomorrow."

I helped Talaendril to her bed in the sleeping quarters. She held tightly onto my hand, as if she feared that I would disappear suddenly. I kneeled next to her bed and slowly stroked her hair with my free hand until she fell asleep.

I sighed and crept into my own bed. I lay there, unknowing how many sleepless hours passed, until I finally felt exhaustion, mental and physical, overcome me and I was pulled into oblivion.

~{::}~

I see a body dressed in the custom black of our uniforms at my feet. Blood is dripping from the dagger in my hand. There are others scattered around this room I can't quite recognize.

What have I done? I ask myself.

Fire is all around me, licking at my body, and yet it doesn't burn. I think I'm in the Sanctuary, but the flames are blocking my view. The bodies burn as smoke rises, filling my lungs and making me cough. I run out into the clear, cool night via the well.

I see Lucien in the distance, but this time he's with the blue-eyed boy from Kvatch. The turn to look at me, and as I begin to move towards them, they walk away from me, sparing no glance in my direction when I call to them. I trot forwards, then run, frantically trying to catch up to them. Still they remain ahead of me, moving further into the distance until they are swallowed up completely in a sudden burst of flames.

"Fire cleanses all," a voice whispers into my ear.

I turn around, but no one's there.

I awoke in a cold sweat. What is the meaning of this? I wondered. That dream was completely different from the others. Has my future changed because of what I've decided to do?

Looking around me, I realized that everyone is still asleep. I glance at Gogron's bed, and, seeing that it was unoccupied, I knew that what had happened the previous day was not a dream, but reality.

A/N The next one might be a little while, but I'll try to write as much as I can this weekend. =)

Thanks for reading so far!