'Ello lovelies and uglies and anything in between!
Well, I suppose I should explain my incentive for writing this story, no? Mass Effect is probably my favorite game series, I absolutely love EA and their ability to weave a story together. Despite this, I felt a certain….lack of excitement during the ending of Mass Effect 3.
To anyone reading this who hasn't beaten Mass Effect 3, I recommend playing through the story first, then coming back to read this. To anyone who hasn't played the Mass Effect games, I have an even more important message. Go play them! In fact, why the hell would you be on this part of Fanfiction if you hadn't played them?
On to business, in my opinion, the ending to the paragon option, while it needed to end the way it did, was a little lackluster. It still left me with a few more questions and answers. Either way, I plan to remedy my urge to change the ending, by instead continuing the story. Quick think though, I suck at writing. Intro has gone on long enough! High ho Silver, away!
Disclaimer: Bioware owns every right to all these characters.
Despite all the chaos, death and destruction that Shepard had witnessed over the past few months, there was really only one question on his mind at the moment. Was it possible to mentally kill yourself? Was there some kind of failsafe in the human mind, that when in so much pain, could just shut down the body and you would die? Shepard wasn't so sure that he was being realistic with his current train of thoughts, but anything to keep his mind off the searing pain he was feeling was a welcome relief from the current norm.
In fact, Shepard wasn't even sure how long he'd been like this, unable to see, unable to hear anything or smell anything, but still able to feel like his whole body was frying. He wasn't so sure how long he'd been this way either. Days? Weeks? Hell, maybe even a month had passed, he didn't know. All he knew right now was pain.
Pain. The searing pain. Was that all he knew anymore? The pain of this unbearable torture, the pain of watching millions of people wiped out, the pain of dying….again, or at least he assumed he was dead. Worst of all, the pain of losing everything he'd ever cared about, everyone, he'd ever cared about. Now that he thought about it though, dying again was kind of the reason that he was in this situation in the first place, so he chalked dying up to the top of the "List of Shitty Things".
And to top it all off, Shepard had no idea what had become of Earth, whether or not he had succeeded in stopping the Reaper invasion. The last thing Shepard could remember was unloading round after round into whatever tech he thought looked important on the Crucible, then a massive explosion. He slightly recalled falling afterwards, fading in and out of consciousness, the stars shimmering, then going dark, but that was it.
Well if this is the afterlife, then where's that goddamn bar that Garrus promised? Maybe this is hell? Though what I did to deserve going to hell is beyond me. I mean, sure I killed a few dozen…err, hundred, humans and aliens in my life, but it was always to protect people. Maybe it was something else I did…?
Shepard mentally scolded himself, dispersing any doubts that crept into his thoughts. At heart, Shepard was a humble man, but even he knew that he had done pulled some amazing stunts in his time, all to protect the innocent.
Still though, a nice, cool glass of Batarian ale would be just the thing to sooth this sore throat we have.
Shepard sighed internally, knowing that he was talking to himself again.
Goddamn, I must be going crazy.
Crazy? Really? Well I think that you're perfectly sane.
Instantly, every thought flew from Shepard's mind. He knew that talking to yourself was a sign of craziness, but was making up a new voice in your head a sign of complete and utter insanity? He hoped not, going insane was not something that really appealed to him at the moment…or ever.
Hey! I'm not made up, I'm me, and I would prefer to be called by my name, thank-you-very-much.
To say that Shepard was beyond confused, would have been the understatement of the century. This new voice was entirely not his. It was the voice of a young female, probably no older than fourteen, jubilant, full of life with a slight British accent slurring her speech.
Hello? Are you just going to stay silent? Shepard?
Shepard stayed silent while he went over the situation. So for some reason he was hearing a voice in his head and somehow it knew his name. Hesitantly, he decided that it was safe to respond, to whoever…or whatever, was talking to him.
Umm…hello there, random voce inside my head. Who are you and why the hell are you in my head? Am I finally going insane?
The voice simply giggled, a cute, high pitched sound and replied quickly.
Of course you're not going insane, silly. And I'm here in your head cause I'm here to help.
Help? How can you help me?
Before the voice could reply, another voice joined in the conversation.
Perhaps, child, you should answer the Commander's first question?
Once again, for the second time in about five minutes, Shepard's mind was set reeling. This new voice was male, much older than the first voice. For a startling moment, Shepard thought that it was the Illusive Man's voice, but he realized this was not the case. While this voice sounded similar, it was deeper, with a sense of gentility to it. The voice sounded to Shepard like a grandfather, chiding the impatience that comes with youth, with the wisdom that comes with age. Yet with that wisdom also comes a certain cynicism that Shepard could sense. Shepard realized that the voices had continued their conversation and stopped his musing, realizing he could be missing critical information.
-always been so shy, X. You need to learn to be a little more social.
Ha! Social? Stop being so naïve. Now hush child, the Commander is already confused as it is, no need to confuse him further. Now is the time for an explanation.
You're damn right it is! Who the hell are you two and what do you want with me?
Calm, Commander. Let us explain first, then you may ask us any questions.
Oh! OH! Me! Me! Let me explain X! Please, please, please?
The voice, whom Shepard assumed was X, vented a deep sigh.
…alright, I suppose you won't stop bothering me about it, so I suppose you can.
Really? I can? Really? Hurray! Alright…sooo umm…err…
The deeper voice, X, chuckled softly, making a quiet tsking sound.
What a beautiful start. Perhaps our names would be a good start?
Humph, I was getting to that. I just needed a place to start. Well, okay, listen up Shepard. I'm Eve, and the stuffy 'ol guy is X…well, really it's Xavier, but I like to call him X. Makes him seem like a superhero, ya know?
The girl, Eve, let out a little giggle as Xavier, or X, sighed once again.
Hilarious, Eve. Truly.
For some reason, Shepard was still hesitant about talking to these voices. After all...voices in your head was a sign that you had some mental illness. Maybe the blast from the Crucible had made Shepard hit his head so hard that now he was imagining voices. That must be it.
Imaginary? I resent that thought Commander. We are no more imaginary than you. I like to compare ourselves to air. We're always there, yet never seen. I know you must be confused, but trust us, we really are here to help.
Alright…well you've told me your names, but you still haven't told me what you're doing in my head and what you want.
X seemed to concede this point, and decided to take the lead.
I suppose you do deserve an explanation, and I can see that Eve will be no help in explaining.
Hey!
Quiet. Alright, well I'll just get right to the point. You're not dead Shepard.
I kind of figured…
To be honest, Shepard had no idea whether or not he had died or not. It certainly seemed like he had died and was in some everlasting purgatory, but he couldn't help letting out a mental sigh of relief. Not dying was more often than not, a very good thing.
X let Shepard have a moment to himself, knowing he must be feeling immense relief, but knew that the next piece of information he was about to divulge would be crucial.
I'm sure you did, Commander, but now I need you to listen to me very carefully. When you destroyed the Catalyst, it destroyed the Reapers, and you saved this cycle. However, destroying the Catalyst also caused a chain reaction among many things in your universe. The mass relays that your cycle uses were not destroyed as the Catalyst said they would be, but they were rendered practically useless.
What happened to my crew? Garrus? Ashley? Joker? Tal-
Before Shepard could even finish his question, he felt his mind go blank, a darkness creeping into his thoughts. What if something had happened to Tali? What if something had happened and it was all his fault? What if-
Suddenly his mind seemed to shut down for a moment, and Shepard realized that he was unable to form a coherent sentence. He began to panic, realizing that somehow this lack of thought, was somehow X's doing. Sensing his panic, X slowly released his control over Shepard's mind.
Commander, please, you must calm down. I know you are very confused and worried at the moment, but this is crucial. I'd rather not have to send your brain into a temporary shut down again, so please, let me continue.
Alright, go ahead, but do that again and I'll...do...something...
X chuckled for a moment, then paused, trying to find the best way to explain the situation to Shepard, but Eve beat him to it.
All of Eve's original jubilance and spirit had disappeared completely, replaced by a quiet seriousness that Shepard found somewhat disturbing.
Look Shepard, the Catalyst was not an individual being, if you would like to think of it that way. It was an essence, an essence formed over cycles and cycles, tasked with creating a way to keep order in the universe. Think of it like the geth consensus that you visited not long ago. Imagine every essence of the Catalyst in an endless plain, always there, but never truly real, represented in one form. Considering you were the first organic to ever reach our chamber, we took on a form that would be familiar to you. When you destroyed the Catalyst, every essence of the Catalyst had one goal in mind; survival. However, much of the Catalyst's essence perished instantaneously, except for X and I. We realized that there was still a vessel close by that we could attach ourselves to and survive.
Slowly, understanding slowly started to dawn on Shepard. He could see where Eve was going with this.
So…when I destroyed the Catalyst, somehow, you and X…attached yourselves to me.
Aye, Commander. Eve and I calculated that you had a particularly high chance of survival and immediately transferred ourselves into your mind. It was a bit of a gamble really, there was a severely high chance that Eve and myself would have dissipated, or that you would have become clinically brain-dead.
Shepard tried to process this information and for some reason, he find that it didn't surprise him as mich as it should. However, one thing was still bothering him immensely.
So…you and Eve are now inside my head, but what happened to the rest of the Catalyst?
There was a slight pause before Eve and X answered in unison, in a monotonous, dead voice.
The rest of the Catalyst is dead, Commander Shepard. We are the final essence of the Catalyst.
…you have got to be shitting me.
"Well we'll have enough supplies for about two weeks if we ration it out, but we need to find a way out of this situation."
"I know Garrus, we'll find a way out of this." At least, Tali hoped they would.
Garrus simply shrugged, content to let Tali take the lead on this situation. Garrus already had enough on his mind, organizing scav parties, measuring rations, scouting their current area.
It had been a week and a half since the Normandy's crash. When Harbinger had virtually decimated the forces that had been trying to make it to the Crucible, Garrus and Tali had been practically buried under a hailstorm of rubble. To their relief, Joker made an emergency landing, and both were surprised to see most of the crew on board. Apparently the battle had taken a horrible turn, with the Reapers gaining massive amounts of ground and obliterating fire support from the fleets. Joker had tried to land aboard an Alliance frigate, but Harbinger had not forget about the small vessel that had ruined his previous plans with the Collectors. Joker made one last ditch effort to save his ship, using the Mass Relay. He hadn't even picked a specific destination, he just needed to get the fuck out of the Sol system.
Tali wasn't sure what had happened, but somehow the Mass Relay malfunctioned, creating a vibrant red force that knocked the Normandy off its set destination. That was how the crew had ended up here, on some forsaken planet in a system possibly light years away from any form of civilization.
Tali sighed softly, deciding that standing on this outcrop of grass she had chosen as her campsite was not going to get anything done. She began walking towards the crash site of the Normandy, noticing that among the random assortment of tents and shelters set up, Joker had set his up right next to the ship's wrecked hull. Even from several dozen yards away, Tali could make out the occasional flash of skin from holes in the ship as some of the remaining crew salvaged whatever they could. Not all of the crew had survived the crash, among the casualties was Engineer Adams. Specialist Traynor had received a severe concussion and was currently under the care of Dr. Chakwas, who had salvaged whatever medicine and equipment she could.
Slowly, Tali came upon Joker's current campsite, knocking on a nearby tree as she did so.
Joker looked up from where he was seated, startled. "Oh, hey Tali. Sorry, I didn't see you coming…just been... thinking about some things."
"EDI again?" Tali knew that Joker had taken the loss of the ship's AI heavily, even much more so than the ship itself.
"No, not right now…well, yes, but not entirely." Joker said, stumbling over his words.
"Oh? Then what?" Tali asked, curious as to what was troubling Joker so much.
Joker gathered his thoughts before staring, "Well…I'm just wondering what the hell happened."
Tali raised an eyebrow, but realized the effect was lost considering she was wearing her environmental suit.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I'm wondering what the fuck happened to the Mass Relay when we went through it. I've never seen anything like that before." Pausing for a moment, Joker continued. "I'm also wondering…I'm wondering where the Commander is. If he's alive, ya know?" Instantly, Joker wished he could have taken his last question back. He wasn't fully aware of the Commander's relationship with Tali, but he wasn't dumb, he could see the signs whenever Shepard was with Tali onboard the ship. Plus, EDI wasn't too great at keeping secrets.
Tali looked at a nearby tree, absently studying the contortions and knots in the bark, all the while thinking about the only man she had ever loved. Truly, there was no man that Tali could ever love more than Shepard. She would always admire the way that even in the darkest times, Shepard was always optimistic, as if he never had any inkling that he would fail. She loved everything about that man, from his rare smiles right down to the little scar on his forehead. He had given her love, he had brought peace between her race and the geth, he had given her a home. Shepard had given her a family. And now, she might not be able to give him any of that in return.
Tali looked to the side, noticing Joker's worried look, and knew that her current thoughts would do nothing to lighten his mood.
She placed her had lightly on his leg, speaking softly, "Don't worry Joker, Shepard's safe."
Joker fixed his hat, pulling it to the front. "How do you know that? Don't tell me quarians are psychic?", he asked, only half joking.
Tali shook her head, smiling slightly, "No, we're not. I can just feel it, he's not dead, I'm sure of it. And we will find him." As if to emphasize her point, Tali nodded confidentially, more to convince herself that her words were true.
She could see Joker was still skeptical, but he nodded his thanks anyway.
"Thanks, Tali"
They both smiled at each other, glad that they had found some bright spot of hope in their situation, but looked up at the edge forest as the sound of running alerted them to someone approaching.
Tali stood up from the log she had been sitting on as Garrus and James tried to slow down the speed of their sprint, stumbling on each other slightly as they did so.
"What's going on you two?" Tali asked, wondering why Garrus and James were back from their scouting patrol early and why they had felt the need to hurry back so quickly.
James tried to speak from his crouched position, but it ended up more as a jumble of words and pants. Garrus, quicker to catch his breath, stood up erect, looking directly at Tali as he spoke.
"James and I spotted a shuttle landed on the far side of the valley you and I scouted out yesterday."
Slowly, Tali nodded, remembering that the valley was fairly larger, with only sparse patches of grass and brush covering the ground.
"Well what kind of shuttle is it? Is it help? Is it Alliance?" Tali asked, hopeful.
James stood up now, deadly serious, shooting down Tali's hope. "No, it isn't Alliance, it's Cerberus."
Bazinga! Yes, Big Bang Theory references people, get with the program. Alright, it sucked, was probably unbelievable and confusing, but fuck it. I've written worse stuff.
Today's song of the day: Never Enough by Five Finger Death Punch
I will pick random songs for the day, so whoop-de-fucking-do for everyone.