Santana takes a deep unsettling breath, and Brittney realizes something is wrong.

The girl looks up to Santana, concern in her glittering blue eyes. As not to draw the attention of the other glee clubbers Brittney bends down and whispers quietly into Santana's ear ''you okay?'' Santana's breaths are becoming increasingly more rapid and she clutches her head tightly, her knuckles are white and her nails are digging into her temples. Crap, Santana thinks in her daze, Brittney doesn't need anything else to worry about right now especially not her. Using all her will power and strength Santana unfurls her fingers and lifts up her head, desperately trying to ignore the way the room is spinning, and how far away Britt sounds. '' Yeah, '' She hears herself say, '' I'm just really worried about Quinn'' A look of pain and sadness crosses Brittney's face and she gently wraps her arms around San briefly, telling her quickly and softly that she is there.

The truth is that Santana feels like utter crap. She sits with her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees as she tries to become less dizzy and disorientated. She refrains are resists the urge to dig her nails into her skin to wake herself out of it, to make her feel something other than nausea, she can't let Brittney panic, or see her panic. Santana feels like her mind has been disconnected from her body because only her meagreness commands were getting through, the world is spinning around her and it is making her want to be sick. Her limbs have gone all limp and they feel like they are made of jelly or lead, and her breaths are becoming increasingly more rapid.

Breathe, just breathe. Santana thinks. But it doesn't help; she is no longer in control of what is happening. Santana is going in to full panic mode now because no one seems to be realising what is going on. No She thinks, she can't let them know… But Santana is so scared, she hates what is going on, Help! She thinks in alarm and dread. Her vision is tunnelling and going black and red, crap, crap , crap, crap, crap.. Her hearing is disjoined as she feels as if she is underwater. She can't help it, she uses the last of her strength and with her limp unhelp full arm, she feebly tugs on Brittney's wrist…

Brittney's eyes instantly fill with alarm. The tug on her wrist had been so feeble, and now looking at Santana she can see why. How could she have not noticed this all before? She only has a millisecond to take it all in, the way Santana's nails have dug into her temples again, leaving deep, red half -moon cuts, the way Santana sits with her head in her hands and the way her eyes half are closed and how deathly pale her face is, God! Brittney thinks, Oh, Santana!

Quickly Brittney leans forward to help her girlfriend, but just as she was about to help, Santana's body goes limp and in slow motion crashes to the floor. And Brittney is powerless to help. Lifeless and floppy, Santana looks like a ragdoll. As her body gives up supporting her, her head and body Lolls forward, and carried by her momentum with her arms useless to stop her fall, Santana slides forward and her head makes a sickening crack as it hits the tiles…

….

PREVIOUSLY…

Puck has been gone for over half an hour, and the waiting room is starting to make Santana go mad. By starting she really means; she is ready to kill the next doctor that walks in the room, looks around then leaves, saying nothing. Each time the tell tail white coat flicked past her line of sight, an inevitable glimmer of hope would rise in her chest, and her eyes would look at them wide, full of expectation. Only to have a distasteful doctor march around impatiently, crushing that same hope as they talked to someone who had arrived minutes ago. Until a wave of anger grew hot and red and began to lick at her throat, pawing at her reason and her logic. So, when a sleepy doe eyed idiot, got asked for, when a doctor walked into the room, Santana snapped. Where the hell was Quinn? Everyone else in the bloody hospital, waiting room, car park, roof, underground laboratories and hallway had been assisted, aided, helped, alerted, and yet. Here she was, still waiting. Always waiting. Fury boiled in her blood, masking the sadness that was caging her and all the emotions her heart was giving out that she couldn't deal with. Her natural defence mechanism automatically kicked in reverting as always back to anger, the strongest feeling she knew. It covered her hollow lonely sadness from the world like a mask, concealing the overwhelming sense of absolute hell and sorrow that was enveloping her. The tongues of fire continued to grow, but she still felt empty and hollow with uncertainty, and she hated it. NO! Santana screams inside her head. No… She growls.

It was like a great tidal wave of dark emotion was about to crash and burry her. No! She forced it down and anger overtook it, leaving all that emotion to be dealt with later. Flames licked and flickered inside her dark eyes and a terrifying expression was upon her face. Santana was angry. Santana was really, really angry. She clenched her jaw and gently unwound her hand from Brittney's and stood. Feeling like a god… a really powerful, really angry god… Brittney looked up to her with concerned eyes, and some sane part of Santana felt immediately bad and wanted to confront her feelings, and wanted to comfort Brittney, but the other part, the mad, hurt, angry and desperate part, was in the mood for anger and rage. Her gaze hardened and she strode past the glee club, defiantly ignoring Brittney's hurt expression as she slammed through the doors.

Santana didn't know why she got like this sometimes. It was like she had a great beast living inside her that constantly clawed at her chest, wanting to tear out and run rampant. Fuelled by her anger this beast would rise up and consume her. Santana's main argument was that she couldn't ever really be blamed for whatever happened when Snix took over. Yes, she called her Snix. The small, confused part of San's mind prayed meekly for anyone that got in her way, then Santana closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, mercy was gone; Santana was gone… and she opened them as Snix.

…...

Brittney raced through the halls, knowing all too well what was happening. Crap, crap, crap, crap. Brittney was sure that the last time Santana had completely lost it, actually totally lost it was when… when her brother died… Brittney face went pale; she had to find Santana now.

…...

Half and hour later Santana stood frozen, lost in another time. She looked in the mirror of the bathroom she had accidently stumbled into and was stunned with what she saw. A wild eyed, scared girl looked back at her from the bathroom mirror. She was seven years old again, hyperventilating in the bathroom, her mind had stopped and her breaths were ragged and she was in complete shock.

The little girl stared at her reflection blankly with quick panicked breaths and a racing heart. Tears melted down her cheeks and blood dripped from her hair line down her face. She was not aware of her pain, she was not aware of the way her hands gripped the sink counter, she was aware of nothing, Santana was numb.

Why? She thought broken. Where was Pedro? What was going on? Why, why, why, why, why…. WHY? Not her brother, this could not be happening… It couldn't… He couldn't be… NO! Why was this happened! Why HIM? no! NO! She refused to accept it, but some part of her knew. She had seen it. She knows the truth, and it is making her sick. ''NO, no, no, no, no, no, no! '' The small girl cowers in the corner of the bathroom, muttering over and over again the same word. ''No!...'' Her small body shakes with sobs and her head pounds with pain she didn't register...

Blood trickled from the hole in her arm where she had ripped out the IV drip in her escape. Her feet are pounding and her arm is on fire. She had run full rampage out of the room where they were trying to fix her, and left a trail of destruction in her wake. Santana didn't care she just wanted to feel something again. Anything other than the hollow hole in her heart that her brother had filled hours before… The shard of glass digs into the girls palm and she lets out a bellow of despair as her pain and rage consumes her.

The doctors hurry in and surround the child, her eyes are closed and her fist is trickling blood onto the floor. The girl stands up; head looking down, and then with her eyes still closed; she girl drops the blood stained glass and opens her eyes, they dark with anger and glittering with fire. A beast was unleashed for the first time.

Santana snaps out from her past and sees herself in the bathroom mirror with tears streaming down her face and an unreadable expression in her eyes. A shard of pottery is stuck deep in her palm and as she curls her fists tighter rejoicing in the pain and blood drips onto the floor. Santana meets her gaze, still as broken as she was 9 years ago, still as confused and conflicted and mad. With a sob like scream, San uncurls her fist and throws the shard of pottery to the floor, before bringing her hands up to her head and falling against the wall crying. Gods she is so ashamed. Why does she do this? Tears raggedly fall, why does she let go when stuff like this happens? What if B got hurt? Would you go full commando on the hospital staff that could help her? Blood smears into Santana's hairline and she breaks, not caring about anything anymore.

Timid footsteps echo in the small enclosed area but Santana still doesn't look up, she is too ashamed. She knows who it is even before Brittney's soft hair comes into her vision and tickles her cheeks as she carefully wipes away the tears from under her eyes, and encloses the shattered girl in a hug.

The scary part is that Santana can still feel her irrational anger inside her; waiting like some uncontrollable monster, ready to attack and claw its way out again. She doubts it has ever truly left her; it was always just beneath her skin waiting for her to lose control for just one second... because that was all it took.

Santana is crying hard out now, muttering ''I'm sorry, I'm sorry,'' Over and over again into Brittney's hair. '' I am just so sorry''

''I know san, I know…'' Brittney soothingly says, knowing all she can do is hold her, hold her and wait.

In the same Bathroom she cried in 9 years ago, when she had lost Pedro, Santana cry's for Quinn. But she'll be dammed if she loses Quinn too.

''Come on San- '' Brittney whispers tugging gently on her arm, ''Let's get you cleaned up''

Ohh! So why is San like fainting in the beginning? What did Santana do before arriving in the bathroom ? Why is santana so angry? What did she do last time she lost it? OOHHH!

You'll have to find out…. CLIFFHANGER!

The next chapter will be really long and will cover what is going on with puck and Santana, and then FINALLY, it will have caught up to were Quinn is, waking up! But i have exams, like acually tommorow, and shouldn't be doing this but FAN FICTION IS SO FUN! Ill update when ive finished all my EXAMS :D

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEEEEASE!PLEASSE! IT MEANS LIKE THE WORLD TO ME! :D