I let what Haymitch said sink in. Get us both out? Maybe my plan wouldn't be needed.
"Well, we better watch the reaping recaps." Effie says interrupting my thoughts. I nod as she walks out of the cart. Peeta takes my hand and we follow her. I sit next to Peeta closely, my head on his shoulder as the recaps start. I try to block most of it out trying to deny that we're in this position, but I know it's not going to do me any good. A few people stand out. The boy from District One - Cato - who volunteers, a sly fox looking girl from District Five, and a dark skinned twelve year old girl from District Twelve. Why would no one volunteer for her? It wasn't that hard of a thing to do. I did it for Prim.
District Twelve's reaping is by far the most dramatic of them all. Especially seeing as Peeta and I were the first volunteers District Twelve has ever had. My diving into Peeta's arms and kissing him only adds to the sadness of it all. My volunteering to save my little sister, and having the person I love volunteer to save me. I was pretty positive they had never had a games with a pair of lovers. Although, I've only been around for less then half of the games.
"Well, you two better get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll be in the Capitol." Effie trills beaming at us. I groan and bury my face in Peeta's shoulder. I didn't want to be in the Capitol. The place I hated the most. The place I blamed for ripping my father from my life. I feel a longing in my heart for my father. I thought taking Peeta to the lake would make me feel better. It had, until Prim's name was pulled from the reaping bowl. I let out a sigh. I missed him. Peeta's arm holds me tightly.
"What's wrong, Kat?" I raise my head letting out a defeated sigh. "Hey, you heard what Haymitch said." His reminder makes me smile, but only slightly.
"I don't know, I just miss my dad. We're going to the Capitol, and to be perfectly honest I blame them for his death. I keep telling myself that because he never officially said goodbye, he's not really gone. I keep hoping that he'll come back someday. It's ridiculous hope really. I know that, but I just..." I trail off as I start stumbling over my own words. It was hard to explain what losing a parent felt like. Although, Peeta was no stranger to parents issues.
"It's okay to have a little hope, but if one day it just settles in that, that hope is a waste of time, that what you want to happen isn't going to happen...It'll hurt you more than if you just let go." I look into Peeta's striking blue eyes and purse my lips. I wasn't ready to let go of this hope. Just like I wasn't letting go of the hope that Peeta and I would both get out of this.
"Then let hope kill me." I say with a hint of a smile. Peeta just shakes his head and sighs. Our hands find each other's unconsciously and I follow him to his room. I was glad he wasn't wanting to let me stay by myself. I was sure nightmares would visit me tonight. They visited me every now and then, I wasn't sure how many times I watched my father die, or watched Peeta get reaped and killed in the games, or watch Prim being tortured.
I slide into his side curling into him as close as possible. My head lays in the crook of his neck, and I sigh almost happily as his strong familiar arms wrap around me. I close my eyes letting myself drift into the peaceful land of sleep. I could only hope the nightmares stayed away, and I could have a few hours of escaping today's events. As I drift to sleep I wonder idly if it had only been a day ago Peeta and I were completely happy. Funny how quickly things could go down hill.
I let out a groan of frustration when there's a banging on the door.
"It's a big, big, big day! Oh, and Peeta if you know where Katniss is let her know." Effie says. I open my eyes to the bright sun shinning in through the window of the train. I rub my eyes letting myself get use to the light, before looking up at Peeta. He has one eye open and he has a look of humor on his face.
"What?" I ask defensively and push his shoulder lightly. He opens his other eye and lets out a chuckle.
"You're too cute." He says which causes me to scowl. "Even when you scowl like that. Your nose scrunches just the slightest bit." He's chuckling again and I roll my eyes sliding out of bed. His arm captures my waist and I paw at his arm.
"No. You're laughing at me." I say irritation clear in my voice. He just grins at me.
"I'm not laughing at you. I just find it funny you dislike being called cute." He gives a shrug letting go of my waist once I've stopped trying to break free.
"Because I'm not." I say as I stand up again. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk to the door. I forgot I should've grabbed clothes from my room.
"Fine. Katniss Everdeen, you are undeniably beautiful." I turn arching an eyebrow at him and see him giving me that puppy look I found hard to resist.
"Oh hush, Mellark. Get dressed." I say exiting the room. I was planning on telling him to shut up until I saw the look he was giving me. I felt almost bad by how I reacted to his compliments, but I didn't let it bother me. He was just delusional with his love for me. I can't help but smirk at the thought.
"You're perfect." My dad had purred into my mom's ear. I sneered and turned away once again revolted by their affectionate relationship. "Oh, Katniss. When you're in love with someone, even their flaws become perfections."
My fathers words bounce around in my mind. I guess that made sense. It wasn't just Peeta who thought I was without flaws, I thought the same of him. Well, except it irritated me that he refused to stand up to his mom in anyway. He was no stranger to abuse, and I had witnessed it first hand. I always started to yell at Karen, but Peeta's hand clamped over my mouth. He was afraid of his mother and I hated it. I hated the pain she caused him. I hated the fact she even thought about touching her children in an abusive manner. Or emotionally abusing them. I didn't want kids and nothing could change my mind of this - not even Peeta - but if I had kids of my own I wouldn't even think of treating them they way she treats her sons.
Quickly I get dressed and go to join Effie, Haymitch, and Peeta for breakfast. I sit across from Haymitch and Peeta takes his seat next to me. I was still irritated with Effie for being so nosy in my private life, but I guess if I had grown up in the Capitol I'd be just as nosy.
"Now, as soon as you get off the train you'll be escorted into the remake center and handed over to your prep teams and stylists. Don't complain or object to anything they do to you." Haymitch says with less of a slur then I had ever heard him speak with. He even seemed to be cleaned and dressed properly. I was almost shocked, but not enough to object.
"But - "
"No buts. Remember our deal? Do as I so. Don't complain or object. Just go with it. Then tonight will be the tribute parade. Make sure you two keep up this romance thing. Don't be afraid to lay it on thick." I scowl at him. "Sweetheart, you're going to have to get over yourself. If you act like you're better than the audience they won't be interested in you, and I won't have a shot at saving you both."
"But why should I let them into something that's special to me? Such as my relationship." I pronounce every letter carefully trying to get my point across. Peeta stays silent next to me. He was always the decent one in this relationship.
"Get over yourself, sweetheart." Peeta's hand takes mine gripping it tightly and again he's read me like an open book. Haymitch's words just about set me off. I could've jumped across the table and attacked him right there. I know I should be thankful for his help, but really he was just doing a lot of pissing me off.
"There it is." Peeta says releasing my hand and going to the window. I peer around Haymitch's head to see the Capitol. It was almost sparkling, and seemed to be unoccupied with it's complete cleanness. Not a single flaw. At least from this point of view, to a bird it was flawless, to me it was filled with more imperfections then all the District's and citizens of the District's combined.
I get up and join Peeta by the window. When we pull into the station my eyes take in the crowd of people gathered. All of them looked beyond ridiculous. So genetically enhanced these people are. They're all so fake. Peeta waves and puts on a dazzling smile. He would be counted on the most to win over the crowd, since all I could seem to do was stare at them wondering what possessed them to dress in this fashion.
"Come on, Kat." Peeta shots me a look and I know I have to stop staring like I'm at some kind of zoo looking at animals I've never seen before. I force a smile to my lips and I could tell just how unconvincing and fake it was, but these people were so use to fake it shouldn't matter. The thought almost makes me laugh and I wave. I give a side glance to Peeta and I can tell, we had a chance. A chance to get out of this together so to win them over even more I slip my hand into Peeta's and hold our hands up. He gives me a quick questioningly glance after the conversation not three minutes ago I knew my actions were questionable. I needed to do everything in my power to keep Peeta safe, and make sure I didn't lose him. Even if it meant making out love a little public.
I squeeze my eyes shut gritting my teeth as my prep team rips the hair from my legs, and body. Venia and Flavius work on my leg. Each rip of hair causes me to grind my teeth in pain. Octivia meanwhile plucks at my eyebrows. I felt a lot like a hairless cat, except of cross the hair on my head. They scrub at my skin, removing any flaw or imperfection. I sigh remembering not to complain even though I so badly wanted to. Once my nails are shaped, and body removed of hair and flaws the grin proudly at their work.
"Much better." Octivia gushes. Flavius and Venia nod in agreement.
"Peeta thought I was just fine before." I mutter it under my breath not intending them to hear me.
"Peeta? Your district partner?" Flavius's eye widen in surprise and Venia slaps him in the arm.
"Do you not remember the reaping? She dove into his arms and gave him a lingering kiss." Venia gives a tragic sigh and Octivia holds back a sniffle. I watch them completely dumbfounded.
"I'm so sorry, Katniss. It must be so hard going in with your other half." Octivia pulls me into a hug and I feel her tears hit my robe. Was she seriously crying? I should really be the one crying, and it irritated me I had to comfort them over my problem.
"That's why he's coming out, and I'm not." The three gasp in a mixture of shock and tragedy. I have to stifle a laugh. "At least if we both can't come out." I add under my breath. Octivia is full on sobbing now and it bugs me. Flavius pulls her from the room and I could see he wasn't too far behind her in terms of tears.
"I'll go get Cinna." Venia says giving me a sad smile. If just the reaping caused all this, I couldn't imagine what would happen after the parade, and of course the interviews. I wait patiently for Cinna glad to be alone and not comforting someone. After a few minutes a tall, skinny man dressed in all black with simple gold eyeliner walks in.
"Hello, Katniss. I'm Cinna. I'll be your stylist." He holds his hand out to be and I shake is hesitantly. "That was very brave what you did for your sister, and very tragic what happened with Peeta." I close my eyes letting out a sigh of frustration.
"Yeah, I know." I say a little snappier then intended. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. He gives a breathy chuckle.
"Hard time with the prep team?" He arches an eyebrow but I can see he already knows the answer.
"You have no idea." I say.
"Well, no need to worry about that with me. I channel my emotions into my work so no one else get's hurt. Well, except me possibly. Anyways, let me get a look at you." I purse my lips and stand up pulling off my robe. Most people in Panem were comfortable with nakedness, but it made me feel uncomfortable. I remember Peeta joking about how such a lethal person is afraid of nudity and a little sickness. I had rolled my eyes at him and laughed, because he was right.
"Alright, slip your robe back on and let's talk." Quickly I slip the robe on glad to have myself covered again and follow him into another room. I watch questioningly as he pressed a button, then almost stumble in shock when a buffet big enough to feed everyone in the Seam appears. It irritates me that my District is starving, and here they press a button and get enough food to feed every starving person in the Seam.
"Come, eat." Cinna says. I nod and take a seat on the stiff leather couch. My old, used and beat up couch at him was far more comfortable than this. Of course here they didn't care if it was comfortable, they only cared if it looked good and would impress their friends. Silently we each fill a plate with food.
"Now, Katniss. Portia and I have come up with an idea that will capture the audience's attention. We plan to have you and Peeta make a splash. Haymitch made a special request that it was something impressive." I feel my stomach drop and instantly feel like this is leading to Peeta and I going to the parade naked. "Katniss, you're not afraid of fire are you?" I arch an eyebrow not sure where the question came from. Then something clicks, we wouldn't be naked, but we may be torches by the end of tonight.