A/N: THIS IS THE REAL CHAPTER, THE ONE THAT WAS DELETED. I FOUND IT. THE AT THE END IS MY EXPLANATION FOR MY SUDDEN MISSING FEW WEEKS BACK :)

disclaimer: I don't own iCarly but I do own a lot of iCarly dvds and Nicholas Sparks' books :)

ENJOY!

iStill Love You

chapter 6

Freddie's Pov

I glance over Sam from the folder I was reading as she speaks with my employees. I smile to that. I'm happy that she finally relaxed to them. I remember when they first saw her and she was like, so annoyed and now she's talking to them.

I don't actually know what to feel about this setup. Having Sam around is great..more than great, its completing but...for how long?

My conversation with my mom over the phone plays on my mind.

"I'm sorry, mom for talking to you like that. I didn't mean it to be out like that."

"Its okay, honey. I get it."

"I just want you to understand."

"I'm really trying, Fredward but as your mom. You can't stop me from worrying about you."

"What exactly are you worried about? Sam will not torment me anymore. She's changed. She's more mature now."

"Maybe not physically..." she sigh from the other line."Have you ever wonder if how long is she gonna stay?"

"I..."

"Seattle is not her home anymore. Maybe it was but she belonged to California. It's where she lives now. Her life is in there. She just came here for a business matter. She'll leave soon."

"I know but maybe I can change that."

"I can't tell you stop loving her, now can I?"

"That's impossible."

"I thought so." she comments softly."She maybe more mature now but she'll always be Sam. She's not ready and if she is..you don't know if she feels the same."

"I'll figure things out, mom. Just...trust me."

"I do trust you. But if I think you're going overboard, will you listen to me when I say you stop?"

"Maybe...or maybe I know when will I stop."

"You really love her."

"So much."

I tried my hardest to move on but I just can't. And having a continues connection with Sam didn't help either. Its like, it made us closer than ever.

It made me fall for her even more. And it makes my heart ache with want and need. I'm ready to have her. To get her back but we never got the chance to talk about us. It's like forbidden shits.

When I was in L.A visiting her, I opened the topic but she quickly dismiss it, joking and teasing me then changed the subject. I know for sure we still have that spark, the connection. I can feel it and I know she feel it too. It's there.

"Hey, man. Are you okay?" I turn to my side and saw Ernie look at me weirdly.

"Yeah."

"You sure? You've been staring at your blonde friend, deep in thoughts. Don't tell me you're thinking about doing something-"

"Dude! Shut up!" I smack his arm and shakes my head."I'm not like that! She's my friend."

He chuckles and lean back to his chair.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." he said between laughs.

I roll my eyes at him.

"Not funny."

"So, how long have you've known her?" I looked at him incredulously, narrowing my eyes at him.

Sometimes I would like to wonder where my employees had been when we were doing iCarly, I mean, they didn't even recognized us doing it or they just didn't remember us dating or something.

"Long enough. She's my childhood bestfriend. You know. iCarly." I motion my hands in circle trying for him to remember the webshow.

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I'm not a big fan."

"Why you asked?"

"I'm just thinking...I won't step on anyone's feet if I ever ask her on a date now, would I?" my eyes shot at him fully. He was being serious about this. Okay, maybe I don't have a say if guys wants to date her right? I mean, I'm not her boyfriend. I'm just her ex-boyfriend who happens to be in love with her still. It's not like we still have this connection back when we're in highschool.

"What are you talking about?" My voice started to become a bit harsher, snappy to be exact. I may not be her boyfriend anymore but that doesn't mean I can't be her bestfriend who'll always look out for her, right?

I've known Ernie since I first started doing films. He's my production head and yes, he's a close friend but I do know that he has this history of dating hot girls and breaking their heart afterwards. In short, he's a total player and I won't allow him to play with Sam. My Sam.

"Dude. I won't let you play with her." I kinda want to say something like: 'She's off limits' or 'You can't date her because she's mine.' but I chose my words instead.

"I won't play with her. I think she's awesome. Different from any girls out there."

"Please. Not her." I shake my head disapprovingly.

"Why? You guys have a thing?" he said suspiciously, eyeing me intensely.

I shift my eyes away and cross my arms to my chest.

"It's not like that. But, c'mon, she's my bestfriend. We both know you're such a player. She's not a toy." I said firmly.

He shrug and nod understandingly.

"Fine." he said defeatedly."But I still think you guys have a thing."

I ignore his comment and I look forward to my people. I noticed that Sam shot me a look for a moment then turn back to what she's doing. I shrug off the feeling and closed my folder. I lean into my elbows, intertwining my fingers in front of me before placing my chin above.

"So, what do you guys say?" I'm most definitely looking for Sam's reaction over this. I know she's not a big fan of romantic cheesy flicks and if there is someone who'll be happy to quickly object, I know for the fact that it would be her.

I saw her from the corner of my eye, lifting her pretty face up from the blue folder and raised her hand. I point to her direction, nodding for her to say whatever she has in mind.

"Don't you think it's too common?" Ah, of course she won't like it. It's not her kinda thing anyway.

"I don't think it is. The story is a lot more different from the usual love story. It revolves around two different people."

"Exactly my point." she said."Don't you think the people won't find it kinda thrilling? I mean, of course we want the audience to feel all types of emotions known in the dictionary. We want our movie to capture them. Its going to be so lame if people would know the end of the story." she explains, obviously disagreeing with me and expect it much anyway.

"They won't predict the ending that easily, Sam. I believe my story is not like the others. How many movies have you seen or watched with the same plot as mine?" I asked her."We're not only focusing on romance, we're also focusing on the other topics on hand. Reality. We want to connect with the audience and that's what this story is about. Connection. Hope and Love."

"Hope? This story will end drastically. The main character will die. How is that a proof of hope?"

"There is more, Sam. We haven't started yet and if we do, you'll understand it more." I argue back. I honestly felt like we're back from the bickering duo although this time there is something more to the bickering."Besides, that's not the real script. I have the revised copy. I'll give it to all of you once we started the shooting."

She scan the folder she has and seemed kinda muse.

"When are we going to shoot the movie? And who'll be the people playing the characters?" Lyla, one of the production staff asked.

"I already thought about that and I have it all planned now. I'll just give you all the department heads their respective works to do. But we'll start next week."

I trudge to my office with Sam following me close behind. She's been talking me out how the story would end up pretty suckish. I have to roll my eyes to her to that. I took a seat on my recliner chair and open some papers, skidding over the pages before signing them.

Sam tread towards my table, tapping her hands forcefully on my table.

"I thought we're in this movie?"

I sigh, pushing down the papers and look at her tiredly.

"We are."

"Why aren't you listening to me?"

"What exactly do you want me to do?"

"I hate your storyline." she cross her arms childishly.

"Sam."

She threw her arms and turn her back at me, walking towards the couch and plop down, looking at me fiercely. I dodge her stares and just continue allocating different papers with different tasks to give to my department head staffs.

"Can I see the real script?"

"Promise me you won't burn or rip it apart?" she roll her eyes to me and I saw a hint of glint in her eyes.

"No promises." she smirk teasingly.

"Sam."

"Fine, nub." I look over the bunch of papers and folders scattered on my table. Searching for the blue folder where the revised script is. I spotted it under the other folders and I held it out for her.

She stand up and took the set in front of my table, reaching her little hands to grab my folder.

"Do you want me to contact my connections in L.A to help us out?" she said, not looking up from the folder. She turn the pages carefully whilst nodding. I believe it's a progress and/or a good sign.

"I don't know.." I trail. I do now how powerful she is when it comes to media stuffs. It's cool though, asking for help but the thing is, it kinda felt like stomping on my pride. It's already good that she's helping me with this movie but to actually call for another one, its like telling me that I can't do it good anymore. I want her to know that I'm as good as she is, maybe not like her but good enough for her to feel proud. I'm trying to prove her something here.

"So?"

"I don't think we need help. It's an independent film anyway." I said.

"But we're just going to ask them if they want to help."

"No need. We can do it anyway."

She nod slowly and shrug.

"The character names are Paul and...Adrienne?"

"Yup."

"Care to explain why?"

"It's just a name Sam." I roll my eyes, chuckling softly.

"Where'd you get this idea?" she asked out of the blue.

Actually, I don't know or maybe I do know but I refuse to acknowledge it. It just came up one day but I definitely made sure that it'll have some effect on her.

You see the story is about (obviously) love. The main characters are Paul, who's a doctor himself and Adrienne, an undergraduate cook on a diner. The will meet halfway, fall in love but it's not your typical lovestory, soon, this two will such hardship that will strengthen their love for each other. Paul will learned that he will have a short time to live. It will make people learn how to value time and people as well.

"It just pops." She scoff, giving me a look that says she's not buying it.

"You said great stories comes from great inspiration." she mocks me.

"Can we just drop this? I have to finish this stuffs anyway before next week." I beg her.

"Alright and please do it quick. I'm hungry." Of course she is.

"We'll go to this diner downtown after."

"Sweet. Now go finish your nubby work." she demands.

After I finished my 'nubby work' - Sam's words. I brought her to this little diner downtown. Its one of my favourite in town, although its not that popular, the foods are sumptuous and in a very cheap prices.

We were led to this booth by a middle-aged woman named Lisa. She quite reminds me of Ms. Briggs but the difference is, she's not wearing a scowl on her face. She's very friendly per se.

Sam ordered a double deluxe grilled cheese burger, fries and a large cup of Peppy Cola; a regular cheeseburger and a can of cola for me. The place is a typical country style diner, checkered table linens, booths and a jukebox wherein you can pick your own taste of song when you drop some few quarters.

Funny how most people knew Sam because the very moment we stepped inside the double doors and the chimes above the doors jingle, all eyes were on us - specifically on her. Its obvious she's used to those kind of attention, probably because she has experienced them all along. People even walk towards us to ask for pictures and autographs. I'm very surprised to know that there still iCarly fans and Seddiers. They even asked if Sam and I are back together.

That got me blushing and for Sam to stutter a few times.

"How come I never know this place?"

"Its new. Its only been running for a year now." I dip some fries (Sam, actually shared a small portion to me) on a ketchup and put it inside my mouth.

We fell on this silence and it felt comfortable. I kept glancing over her as she eat her food. I don't know what my problem is but everytime I look at her, I feel mesmerize by her beauty. I know she'll just punch me on the arm if I tell her that and disagree, saying she's not all dolled up.

She's not really all dressed up. She's just wearing a simple button up blouse and a baby blue pencil skirt over it and this cute pink dollshoes. I have to laugh on that. I never imagined Sam wearing anything pink or cute but I guess a lot has changed now.

"Take a picture, it'll last." she mumble, not looking up to me. My eyes widen in realization that she just caught me checking her out.

"I..uh..I-" I stutter my words. Nice going, Benson. You just made a fool outta yourself.

She suddenly look up with a teasing smile etched on her face. I bet she's enjoying this. She always does.

"S'cool, Benson."

"You're enjoying this."

"Very." she said smugly. She lean to her sit, crossing her arms over her chest. "I mean, yeah. I know momma's hot but you don't have to drool over me that obviously." she giggle in amusement.

"Whatever."

Soon, Lisa emerged from the kitchen doors, walk towards us holding her trusty pad and pen. She place the cheat down. I look over it and scoop some few bucks from my front pocket and toss it on the table.

Lisa grab the few dollars, chewing her bubble gum she look to the both of us.

"Aren't you guys from the kid's show? What's it called? iWally?"

"iCarly and yeah. Its us." I answered politely."Why?"

"Cute." I look at her warily and she shrug, smiling before tending to other customer's needs.

General Pov

Sam decided to pay Carly a visit to her office. The cab drop her off in an unfamiliar building. After paying the cab a few bucks, she step out and look in awe to the twelve storey establishment right before her. It has a big Gee! written at the top of it and she knew her brunette bestfriend is somewhere in that building.

She smoothed her clothes, clutching her purse, she walked with poise towards the main entrance. She is met by a lady in uniform - presumably one of the staff - looking at her warily. Sam walk to the reception area, and another lady in uniform look up to her.

"Good afternoon, ma'am. Welcome to Gee! Publication. May I help you?" the lady named Sophia (she saw her nametag) asked with a smile but she can tell that this woman is eyeing her carefully, maybe thinking that she looks very familiar.

"Yeah. I'm looking for Carly Shay."

"May I ask your name, please?"

"Sam. Sam Puckett. So, may I see her?" she cut to the chaste, looking very impatient.

"Do you have an appointment ma'am?"

She's starting to lose some patience here and just want to strangle this girl in front of her. Doesn't she know who she's talking to? She's Samantha Puckett for pete's sake! Does this girl even has a television or radio?

"No, but I'm her bestfriend." she gritted her teeth, clutching the counter top.

"I'll just call her-"

"I'm here to surprise her. And you calling her will probably pop the surprise." she almost snarl, glaring at the girl.

"I'm sorry, ma'am but we can't just let any visitor come in of the building."

"Look.." she slap her palm over the counter and lean forward, looking as intimidating as possible, almost towering the girl."I don't have the time in the world. I need to see her now. And I'm not just any visitor. I'm her bestfriend."

"I'm sorry, ma'am but-"

"Do you even know who I am?" she said in a high pitch voice. She didn't even wait for the girl to respond before she adds."Clearly not. I guess you're pretty stupid yourself not to know who you're dealing with."

The girl tremble a bit, biting her lip with fear in her eyes. Sam does look like she's going to slaughter her.

"What's going on here?" A deep voice asked from behind. The girl look over her and look as if she just saw the president or something.

"Sir." the girl greets."This lady said she's Ms. Shay's bestfriend and is meaning to see her."

"Excuse me, Miss."

She turn her head and is met by a very handsome young man in a suit. Deep green eyes with a hint of gray is looking at her but she's not focusing on that right now because she's busy trying to calm her boiling blood.

"Samantha Puckett?" she raise an eyebrow, perplexed look on her face.

"Do I know you?"

The man laugh humorously and she find it very maddening. Why is he laughing? She glare at him, crossing her arms and soon, he stop. He clear his throat and offer his hand for a shake.

"I'm Travis Anderson. Junior vice president of Gee."

She glance at his hand but did not move to shake it.

"Do I know you?" she asked again.

"No. But I do know you." she still look at him blankly and he continue further."I'm a big fan of yours."

She nod understandingly. Another fan.

"So, your Carly's bestfriend, I see."

"Yeah. And I want to see her but this stupid girl here you chose to be the receptionist doesn't even know who's she's dealing with." she pointed to the girl at her back.

"Ah. Sophia, its okay. I know her." the girl nod and Sam smirk triumphantly.

The man led her to the elevator and tried to make a small talk.

"I'm deeply sorry about that. She's just new."

"I do too." she mumble.

The elevator ding. It opens revealing a small hallway leading to a room full of medium size cubicles. You can hear bunch of paper shredding, typewriting and click clacking of heels as people look as busy as possible.

"Carly's office is over here." She nods. Following him, he knock on the wooden door. They heard a chirpy voice saying its open.

She saw Carly scribbling through papers to papers looking too serious.

"Sup kiddo?" the brunette's face shot up. Her eyes widen as she look at the person before her.

"Sam!" she stood up, walking over the blonde and pulling her in a tight hug."OMG! What are you doing here?" she pull away, looking past the blonde she saw her boss."Mr. Anderson." she acknowledge him.

"Carly. I brought your friend here. I found her downstairs, almost in the verge of killing our receptionist." he chuckle.

"Sam!" she scolds, hands on her hips giving the blonde a very disappointing look.

"Don't worry, it's not her fault though." the guy flash Sam a smile that can make every girl in the office blush but c'mon, she's Sam, she can't fall for those smiles.

"Thank you, sir."

"Not to worry. I'll leave you guys alone now." He nod to them."Bye, Carly. Sam." the way he said her name made Carly eyed her voice suspiciously.

They both wave and he disappear to close doors.

"What are you doing here?" Carly asked excitedly.

"Now. Now. Shay. You look like bouncing ball." Sam teases."Anyways, I just came here to surprise you."

Sam walk pass her and plop down to her own recliner chair, spinning around like a child and studying those scattered papers.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Carly walk over her desk, slapping her friend's hands when she started to mess with her article in the computer. Sam look at her sullenly and she roll her eyes.

"Just did."

"So, what happened?" Carly gave her a teasing smile, encouraging her to some tell her some good news that might make her squeel in happiness.

Sam shot her a look followed by a frown. She knows what's working on her friend's mind right now. She can almost see those wheels turning inside her head and the way she smiles tells it all. She's hoping for a good story.

"I know that look, Shay." she starts.

"What?" she said as innocently as possible.

"That's not gonna work, Carly. I know you too well. And if you're thinking something that is beyond everything, then I have to wipe that smile on your face because there is nothing to tell."

"You're such a buzzkiller."

"Whoa. I never imagine you saying those big words, Shay." she said with a smug look, pointing a finger on her.

"Shut up." Carly roll her eyes, taking a seat on a chair in front of her desk, she cross her legs and place her hands on her lap."So tell me. How's the meeting?"

"Eh, it's good. We talked about the date of the shooting, he distributed some informations 'bout the movie. Plots. Characters."

"What's the movie about?"

"Romance."

"Romance?" Carly repeated in disbelief.

"Yup."

"Go on. Tell me more."

"There's nothing to tell. Pretty much that's it. We went to this diner downtown after he finished with his own work. And no! it's not a date. I just got hungry." she defends quickly then adds. "then we chat about random stuffs. That's all."

"What? That's it? No confessions about someone's undying love?"

"Carly. We're not some chick flick actors. We make those flicks. Besides, what are you talking about."

"Sam." she almost whine, reaching for her arm and shaking it."Why are you being soo difficult, Sam."

"I'm not being difficult." she jerk her arm away and lean back to her seat.

"We both know you're still in love with Freddie. Why haven't you told him yet?"

"Why is it have to be me? Why not him first?"

"Really Sam?"

"What?"

"Are you really going to waste time now?"

She sigh exasperated. Can't she fully understand? She just can't. She can't just tell him that she wants to get back together with him because confessing means complications. Complications means hurting. She can't risk being hurt. She can't risk hurting him again.

"Don't you get it Carly?" she stand up, her voice softly trailing."I can't. I can't right now."

"Why?"

"I'm not staying for good." she said with a gloomy expression."I'll be leaving again. Maybe after a month or two. Who knows? I can't risk putting a relationship into something's not secure, indefinite or unstable." she explains.

The brunette's face fell and held a sad emotion.

"Why can't you just stay?"

"Are you kidding me, Carly?" she scoff."This is not where my life is now. My career is in California. I just can't leave everything behind just because I want to have something that's unsecure. What if we broke up again? What then? What will happen to me?"

"Are you sure you can move on with your life without him? Is your career really that important to just leave everything great behind? Sam. Your career is not the only thing that's great. Freddie loves you so much. He waited for you this long. He travels around with you even though he's super busy here because he wants to spend more time with you. What kind of a guy would do that? Only him. You said it yourself, he's the one. He's the only guy who made you feel so loved, secured, cared and whole lot more. Do you think you can find someone like him again? You may lose your job but that's for a while. You're a high rank media personality now. With all your connections you can go back on track whether its in freaking Antartica. But Freddie? He's only one person. Just one Fredward Benson in the world. Even your so called connections can't help you find another him." she shake her head, trying to prove a point."Think about it Sam. It's never too late. And it's not bad to admit that you're scared. Sometimes, even the strongest person gets scared but they still carry on because there's no happiness without pain. There's no success and love without a little sacrifice. It's life. That's life."

Sam bit her lips. Carly knows she pressed a button. Something big. It depends if her blonde of a bestfriend would consider everything she just said. She just wish she would.

A/N: OMG! I am deeply sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long :( you see, something bad happened. Like soo bad. If you guys heard or seen on tv, my country, our country, Philippines just experienced a calamity, leaving dead people, homeless people and whole lot more. I'm actually devastated unto what happened to this past week. Yes. For your info, there was a great flooding that happened that lasted for days. DAYS people. It just so sadenning to see my country falling because of this.

I hope its a great reason for my sudden MIA. My country is still recovering from the damaged. The university I also attend got pretty much broken because of it but we're helping each other to stand up again :) i just hope for prayers from you guys.

Anyways, back on the chapter. I hope I satisfied you guys with this chapter. I have an idea where this is heading, although I can't tell you guys how long this will take. And STORY ALERT! the rating will soon CHANGE in RATED M. yup. I'll put lemon/s;) c'mon, what's SEDDIE without some intense, hot and spicy smuts right? :p it just gets the story better, hmm?

So...I'll be so happy to have you guys review this chapter for me. It will be so cool if you guys suggest some for the next chapter. I'm not really glad about the no. of reviews I get. Although, the no. of views pretty much save you guys the trouble from not reviewing :D

Alright. I'll shut up now. Just please..please...please. REVIEW!

BYe :)

xoxo, ForeverJathan

P.S: You guys can follow me on twitter its /itsLiLMissAnne