iStill Love You
chapter 8
General Pov
"I love you."
Her heart pounds so hard inside her ribcage she thinks it might jump out of her body. Her mind is foggy and suddenly she feels nauseated, lump starts to form in her throat.
Do I run?
Her mind is blank. She's rooted in her spot and all she can do is stare at him as he stare back, obviously waiting for her to speak but she's too off-guard.
He's searching thoroughly something in her eyes, reading her facial expression. He feels like he's wrong for a moment there but then again, he should've done it for a long time. He have no idea until when she's going to stay here and he's dreading for that day to come. He wants to fix everything between them and today is the perfect time to do it.
Sounds of the splashing of water and the small chattering of people back in the place where they left them, - not far away from them but enough for them to have their privacy - are the things they can hear.
His eyes bores to her, asking...pleading.
'Sam..say something please.'
She close her eyes, refraining for the tear to drop down her eyes. It's so hard...so...so unexpecting. She's not ready for this. She knows she'll eventually have to deal with it but she didn't expect it to be today of all times. This is the reason why she had those doubts about flying back here. She doesn't want to deal with all of these.
What am I going to say? He completely caught me off-guard. I'm utterly speechless and he's anticipating for me to speak! His eyes...oh his deep pools of warm chocolate orbs that just melts my insides with just one look...is staring at me! Why does he hate me? Oh yeah, he doesn't. He just told me he loves me...Oh My God! He told me he loves me! What am I going to do now?!
Finally she decide to do something. She grab the hand that's on her cheek and hold it down between them. He seems alarm and he grips her hand tightly as if she's going to slip away.
Oh how I miss the feel of his hand beneath my palms.
"Freddie..." I start, taking a big gulp of air before continuing."Please..don't do this."
"Wha-"
"Can you please let me talk first?" he nod."You do know that I'm already based in California and...I'm just here because of work and I'm going back soon. I don't think that it'll do any help for the both of us if we...you know...do this." Why is this so hard?
"What are you saying?"
"This thing between us..." she points between the two of them with her free hand."...it can't be. It's not going somewhere."
He shake his head feverently, not happy to hear her words. He already said it...done it and he will not let her ruin everything just because she's worried that it won't work.
"Do you love me?"
There. Another burn in her heart. How the hell did he become so..so blunt? Why is he even asking? She knows it's the question that can totally make her give in. She's already vulnerable.
"Freddie..."
"Sam. You hardly speak and everything you said are just big fucking excuses. I want to hear what you really feel. I want you to speak from your heart because I'm done saying what I feel. Do you think it's easy for me to do this? I'm close into passing out because being able to hold you like this...touch you...be this close to you is enough to melt me." he sigh and let his head hang low."You're not the only one who's scared...but here I am. I'm trying because I want to fix this. Because I want you. I need you. I love you. And I don't want to lose you again."
His grip tightens, holding her like she's going to slip through his fingers. It aches her to see him like this. He looks so small like little boy asking...begging to be given some food.
She wants him too. She needs him too. She loves him too.
Nothing has changed. All these years, her heart beats only for him. His name is the only word her heart screams. She cherishes every single time..moment he's with her in California. Whenever he visits her or call her. She pretends like nothing changed. Like they're still dating because it hurt her less.
She hates seeing him like this. It pained her when she first left to study in New York and now this. It's too much.
She tilt his chin up with her finger, their eyes meeting in an intense gaze. His eyes hold hope and faith as it bores to her.
"Nothing changed." she murmurs softly.
"Sam...I need you to tell me exactly what you really feel. Do even want to fix this?"
"Of course I do."
"Do you love me?"
"I..."
"Sam.." his voice sounds desperate and needy.
"I love you." she murmurs softly.
There! She said it. It feels like a ton of bricks was lifted away her shoulders and she could breathe again normally.
He can't help but feel butterflies flying around his stomach as he adore hearing her say those beautiful words that are meant just for him. Only him.
"I love you too." he caress her cheeks lovingly."And if you'll let me fix this. I know we can make it work."
"How can you be so sure?" her voice soft and full of fear.
"Because it's us. We're Sam and Freddie. We may be far from normal but we always manage to make it work because we love each other. We've been broken up and still our feeling's never changed. We're destined. Soulmates."
"You never pass an opportunity not to make a very cheesy remark." she smirk.
"Because you make me feel so cheesy." he grin then his expression turn seriously."I mean it Sam. We'll make it work this time."
She roll her eyes but her lips are forming a smile same as him. Despite all her protest of how hopeless romantic he is, he knows she loves a little of cheesiness.
I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR BAILING ON YOU GUYS! IT's just a lot as happened and college is soo hard. I can't find time to squeeze in uploading this story and before i don't own a computer but now i own a tablet so i'll try my very to tend all your needs. Anyways, this chapter has been sitting on my cellphone and now it's finally here :-) i hope you guys forgive me...
REVIEWS PLEASE!