Don't Drive Faster

Disclaimer: Lady White Dragon does not own Steph Plum or anything associated with it. If Janet E. is willing to give us Ranger though…

Authors' Notes: Thanks to all who reviewed. Here's the next chapter. School has come to bite us a bit…its "dead week," meaning we wish we were dead 'cause it's the week before finals.

Oh, before I forget…the fantasy references:

1) "Constant vigilance" – Mad Eye Moody's catch phrase, Harry Potter

2) Sayvil- Kerowyn's rather…unique Companion, Mercedes Lackey

3) Verence- The fool-turned-king from Diskworld, Terry Pratchett

4) 42- The ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything- Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

There is one sci-fi reference from David Webber's Honor Harrington series. Catch the line, get a hint.

I was right.

It is the Wednesday after the Duc was destroyed, and I am currently perched up in the drop down ceiling tiles of the Trenton Elementary School cafeteria, and The Powers That Be couldn't force me to go down there.

Steph is currently giving a talk to Mary Alice's Girl Scout troop about being a woman in a male dominated profession.

Val "volunteered" Steph, without Steph's prior knowledge, and got Steph to agree under threat of no dessert- Val enlisted Mrs. Plum for help with this one.

Steph didn't think it would be that bad. Hope springs eternal. The girls did hang on to her every word, mostly to hear about the explosions. I think about half of them are contemplating a career in bond enforcement. I also think about 2/3s of their angels are planning my death. I think I'll stay up here.

At least I'm not being given the elementary school third degree.

"Miss Plum, did you really blow up the funeral home?"

"It wasn't my fault!" I could almost hear the gears turning as Steph tried to figure out an answer that a) they would understand and b) wouldn't cause their mothers to hunt her down. Fortunately, she was saved by their short attention spans.

"Miss Plum, do you have a boyfriend?"

Not that that was any better.

"No."

"But my mommy says she saw you kissing some black man."

Steph just turned red. I'm not sure if she is embarrassed, peeved, or contemplating homicide. All three are equally likely.

The leaders cut off the question and answer period. "Okay girls, it's time for crafts!" I guess their maternal instincts finally overcame their desire for more gossip. "Now thank Miss Plum for coming."

Twelve voices chorused "Thank you, Miss Plum," in the way only school children can.

Trina Zambowski, one of the leaders, started thanking Steph for talking to the girls and told her that she was welcome to stay.

Steph obviously wanted out of there as fast as Big Blue's V8 would go, but there were two large buckets of worms and dirt on a back table. She'll stay.

Steph wandered over to the crafts table, ostensibly to help, but in reality, to take her attention off the snack. She hadn't had dirt since she was kicked out of the Girl Scouts in 3rd grade.

The girls were decorating flower pots for their mothers, and someone had the rather foolish idea that glitter would look pretty on them.

Idiot.

Predictably, one of the girls soon whined, "She got glitter on my flowerpot, and I didn't want it there!"

"Nichole, apologize to Jane."

"Sorry." I didn't realize such a little kid could sound so insincere. While the apology satisfied the leader, it did nothing to mollify Jane. She should be retaliating in 5, 4, 3, 2… and there goes a handful of glitter. And another. Within moments, a full scale glitter war had broken out.

Fun. Maybe I'll come down out of here after all. I'm not on clean-up duty.

Maybe Girl Scouts isn't so bad after all. Glitter is flying everywhere, despite the leaders' attempts to stop the barrage. The fight is every girl for herself, but the angels are split. Half, including the leaders' angels, are trying to stop the fight, while the other half, myself included, are trying to make sure that glitter gets everywhere. I feel like I'm in a snow globe.

There is also a third group, consisting entirely of Filipina and Sayvil. I'm not sure what they're trying to accomplish, but it involves galloping full tilt around, under, and occasionally over chairs, tables, and people.

One of the leaders tries flickering the lights to get the girls' attention, but it doesn't quite work as she planned. One of the girls yells, "Disco!" Not entirely accurate, but still fun.

The other leader, Trina, is much more creative. "If everybody doesn't stop right now, nobody gets snack." The silence that followed was deafening.

Within minutes, the room was sparkling clean. Meaning that despite many efforts to clean it, it still sparkled. The custodians are not going to be happy about this.

The parents start to arrive as the girls sit down to eat their worms, dirt, and glitter. The looks on their faces are priceless. I get the distinct impression that many of the girls are going to be hosed down before they are permitted in the house.

Now would be a good time to escape, and Steph obviously agrees with me. She grabs Mary Alice and drags her towards Big Blue.

Uh oh. I guess no one informed Morelli that he and Steph are in their off again stage, because he is leaning against the drivers side door of the car.

"What the fu-" She darts a look at Mary Alice, "-udge are you doing here, Joe?"

He pushed off the door. "Can't a guy check up on his girlfriend?" His smug grin was matched only by Elmo's. And, while Joe is Steph's responsibility, I can do something about Elmo's grin.

FWHOOM! I shake out my wings, "accidentally" covering Elmo in glitter. "Oops. So sorry, Elmo, my wings itched."

Elmo didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He was somewhat less than amused. Filipina, on the other hand, was laughing her ass off. Hell, even the horse was laughing.

"I'm glad to see you doing something...maternal for a change, Cupcake."

"Up yours, Morelli!" Steph shoves Morelli out of the way, getting glitter on him as well, though not as much as Elmo. If I have my way, they will be in their off again stage permanently. I hope he's going to the cop shop.