Author's note: Um…oops? It's been about 4.5 years, but we still live! Honest! The excuse list: Coll's grad school, living 5 hours apart (instead of 5 feet), my working straight nights…yeah. I was reading through older fics, and I came across ours, and realized just how long it's been since we updated, and was inspired to write this chapter in the continuing adventures of Steph and Sera, and their chase after Jacob Bowman. Oh, we still don't own them, much as we would like to (well, Ranger and the Merry Men, at least)
Chapter 10
Holy. Shit. Literally. I am covered from knees to boots in human fecal excrement because I didn't eject quite fast enough. Ew, ew, ew! I don't think I've ever been so disgusted in my life, and that includes anything that went on with The Dick and Morelli, and the dude who grabbed my breast in the bar.
Flaring my wings to slow myself, I see where Steph has slammed on the brakes, managing to do a 180 in the car. Poo covers the front of the convertible, and I can see where it flew over the windshield, and oh, gross! Flecks of stool are in Steph's hair, and covering her clothes. I can already see Burgers with their phones out taking pictures and video. Poor Steph. I do NOT want to be around when Steph's mom and Abrianna hear about this, which should be within the next five minutes. I think Steph would have preferred another car explosion. I know I would.
I watch as Steph reaches with a relatively clean hand in to her purse, and turns her cell phone off, just as it starts to ring with her parents' ringtone. She drops her phone back in to her purse, and rests her head against the steering wheel, hands on the wheel on either side of her head, and I can already see the tears forming in her eyes, and I can see her gulping trying to hold back her sobs while simultaneously trying not to breathe. I can only watch as Bowman once again gets away from us, laughing it up in his honey dipper, as I offer Steph what little comfort I can.
I can hear sirens of police vehicles in the far off distance, and mentally curse, knowing that money will soon be changing hands, as Steph's latest car disaster unfurls. She doesn't need this now. What she needs is—ah. A large black SUV appears behind the convertible.
Two men dressed in black angle their way out of the SUV. I'm relieved to see it's Ranger and Bobby, with Alejandro and Kenta, Bobby's angel, in tow. Ranger nods to Bobby, who gets a biohazard kit out of the back of the SUV, while Ranger approaches Steph.
"Babe?" he murmurs, and Steph leans back against the head rest.
"Nothing hurt but my pride and dignity, Ranger," she says, but I can see the tears in her eyes. "Why me?"
Alejandro and Kenta move to stand next to me, and I mutter my own greetings. Alejandro shakes his head in bemusement, while Kenta just stares at the mess the beautiful convertible and Steph are in.
Bobby tosses Ranger a pair of gloves and one of those silvery emergency blankets before giving Steph a quick once over himself, to confirm her uninjured state. The emergency vehicles arrive, and I can see Carl Costanza, Big Dog, and Eddie relax upon visual confirmation of Steph's wellbeing. Carl, Big Dog, and a few of the firemen begin exchanging money. Alejandro, Kenta, and I shake our heads in disgust.
"Come on, Babe, we'll get you back to Rangeman and get you cleaned up in the decon shower. I'll call Ella, and she'll have your shower things and some clean clothes waiting for you." He stands her up and wraps her in the silvery blanket before leading her towards the SUV with an arm wrapped around her.
I glare as I see Morelli pull up in his police issued POS car. I can practically see the steam coming from his ears as he begins to make his way towards Steph and Ranger. They both tense, but continue making their way for the SUV. Ranger shoots him a glare that has made stronger (but wiser) men than Morelli piss their pants, and Bobby quickly moves to stand between the two and Morelli, stopping him in his tracks. I can see a vein in Morelli's forehead begin to throb.
Eddie rushes over before they get to the SUV. "You okay, Steph?" he asks. Steph jerks her head in a nod.
"We're taking her back to Rangeman to get her cleaned up," Ranger says.
"I'll get your statement from you about what happened later. I'm glad you're okay, Steph. I'll give your mom a call and let her know you are okay, and getting cleaned up." Eddie really is a good friend to Steph.
Ranger tosses the keys to the SUV to Bobby and climbs in back with Steph. Alejandro, Kenta, and I climb in the storage area of the SUV. Out of the sight of prying eyes, Steph can't hold back any more and lets out a sob. He pulls her to him and begins whispering in Spanish in her ear. Bobby meets his eyes in the rearview mirror, and we quickly take off for the Rangeman building. As Steph settles a bit, he pulls out his cellphone. A quick conversation with Ella ensures that a fresh set of clothing and Steph's toiletries will be waiting for her. I raise an eyebrow at the request for one of Steph's favorite meals, as well as dessert, for dinner tonight.
Once we get there, Ranger quickly fobs off the cameras in the path to the decon area. The room is done in stainless steel modern, and the stall showers along one wall look very cold, but I imagine it's easy to clean. I watch as Ranger carries an emotionally exhausted Steph, still wrapped in the silver emergency blanket, to the showers.
"I'll call Al and have him tow the Beemer. If you're set, I'll drop by later to check up on Bomber."
Ranger nods, and we continue to the decon area. As promised, a pile of clean clothes and a basket of Steph's toiletries sit on a counter as well as several thick, fluffy towels. He sits her down on a bench outside the shower stall and grabs soap, pouf, shampoo, and conditioner from the basket and puts it in the shower. He turns the water on deliciously hot, and steam begins to fog the area.
Ranger sits on the bench next to Steph, and unties his boots, pulling them off, then shucks his clothes in to a nearby biohazard bag. Steph watches this with her mouth agape. Can't say I blame her. I'm enjoying the free show too. Alejandro rolls his eyes at me. What? I may be a guardian angel, but I'm female, and I have eyes. Besides, if it was Alejandro stripping, I'd be staring at him too, not that I would EVER tell him that. Smug ass.
"Come on, Babe, time to get clean." He stands her up and helps her strip off her now-stiff clothes, tossing them to join his in the biohazard bag. He pulls her into the shower, allowing her to enjoy the spray, while he quickly soaps himself with the antimicrobial soap from the wall dispenser and rinses.
Ranger lathers up Steph with the same soap, and rinses. He grabs the shampoo, then conditioner, and Steph leans in to him and sighs as his strong hands massage her scalp. Then the delicious scent of Bulgari permeates the decon showers. I watch carefully to make sure Steph isn't physically injured. Not because I enjoy looking at Ranger in the shower. Really.
Alejandro casts his eyes to me. "Go get clean, Sera. I'll keep an eye on them."
I raise an eyebrow at him. "I promise nothing untoward will happen. Go."
I look in his eyes, and see the sincerity there. Alright. I'll trust him- this time. I pop into Morelli's shower to clean off myself. He'll be out for a while yet, and I don't want to get this stuff in Steph's apartment. Sure I could find an industrial decontamination place somewhere, but Morelli deserves it. Vindictive? Me? Perish the thought.
So much for this pair of jeans and these boots. Dammit, these boots JUST got to the point where they are ultra-comfy. Now I'll have to break in a new pair. I better not get blisters from this.
By the time I return, they are in the seventh floor apartment and just finishing dinner.
"Feeling better, Sere?" Alejandro asks me as I pop back in.
"Much, thanks." I watch as Steph's eyes light up at the sight of dessert- pineapple upside down cake. Ranger or Ella (or both?) were pulling out the big guns today.
Ranger's cell phone rings. "Yo." Pause. "Five." Steph rolls her eyes at his phone manners. "Babe. Bad news. Your mom is down at the front desk, raising hell wanting to talk to you."
Steph's eyes cut to the counter where her cell sat. Oops. It's still off, and will probably explode from the number of messages left on it if her mom has come to Rangeman headquarters to find her. Steph is wearing a huge black t-shirt, probably one of Ranger's, and comfy looking yoga pants. This look will not go over well with Helen (or Abrianna), I have a feeling. Steph puts down her fork, closes her eyes, and nods to Ranger, standing. "Let's get it over with."