A/N Did you ever wonder why Marshall is deathly afraid of crazy things…? Legendberry did.
Lily checked the time. 3:44AM. She slid out of bed and grabbed some clothes to get changed into.
Marshall started to stir, attempting to pull the blankets closer to himself to replace her. He would wake up in a minute or two without something to cuddle - but Lily knew her husband well, and had planned for just this problem.
She reached into her closet and grabbed the fairground prize she had stored there earlier. Sliding the giant inflatable monkey into her nightgown, she slowly proffered her replacement to her unconscious husband.
He took it.
"Sucka!" Lily whispered, grinning.
She grabbed her bag and her eyeliner and, with one final smile over her shoulder at Marshall, she left the house to attend the Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert with Robin.
xxx
Marshall felt wonderful. Here he was, all snuggled up, cozy and warm in bed, with the woman of his dreams, and his baby son asleep for at least another hour or so.
He nuzzled closer into Lily's nightgown, smelling her honeysuckle and jasmine body wash.
"Mmmm." He sighed happily. "Mornin' Lilypad."
When she didn't answer, he frowned and opened his eyes to find…
…A pair of gigantic, neon orange eyes set in a plastic purple face, topped with canary-yellow hair. Marshall tried to push the monster away, but its long, inflatable arms were trapped under his body - and one of his buttons was caught in Lily's nightdress.
He was trapped in bed with a monster. A monster whose name - according to the bold font across its chest, where Lily's cleavage ought to have been - was Steve.
His screams of terror woke the whole building.
A/N It's Lily. It's always Lily…