A/N Did you ever wonder if Robin Sparkles ever inspired any artists…?

Legendberry did.

"But, um, now I am pleased to welcome today's interviewee: a rap sensation who needs no introduction." Robin smiled at the woman sitting opposite her. She tried not to make any reaction to her guest's appearance, and managed to constrain herself to merely a twitch of the face.

Her guest had a blonde perm with a precariously balanced neon pink bow sitting on the right side of her head. She was wearing a denim tutu-style skirt that just covered the basics, along with a matching short denim jacket and a neon pink bra. The ensemble was completed with a neon pink belt, neon pink hoop earrings that brushed her shoulders and neon pink platform heels.

And all Robin could think was: Denim on denim? That's been out since the nineties! …Oh no.

"Hey. It is so great to be here." The rapper gushed. "I just wanted to say how much of an inspiration you were to me when I was a tween!"

"Ah ha ha ha." Robin laughed nervously. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Now, now, Robin." Came the smarmy voice of Robin's ridiculous co-host, Sandy Rivers. "I think it's time the public knew the truth, Robin Kebabski! Or should I say..."

Scherbatsky, dammit!

"Robin Sparkles!"

Oh God, no.

The screen in the corner began to play a montage of her music videos.

This isn't happening.

But it was. Let's go to the Mall blared through her earpiece.

She spun in her chair to face the King of the Douchebags, as she thought of him.

"What the hell, Sandy?" She hissed. "I thought we were past this!"

"Trust me, Robin, it's for your own good." He gave her a sleazy grin. "I'm doing you a favour here."

"Like hell you are."

The voice in her earpiece muttered: "And we're back in 3…2…1."

Robin opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by her guest.

"When I was a little girl, I was really into Robin Sparkles! I mean, her rap in Let's go to the Mall was the first time I'd ever heard a girl rapping, and as soon as I did, I knew that was what I wanted to do."

Robin stared at her in disbelief.

When it became apparent that Robin wasn't going to reply, Sandy chipped in.

"So what your saying is that Robin Sparkles here, is one of your main influences?"

Robin said nothing.

"Oh sure," Came the gleeful reply. "In fact, that's the reason I accepted this interview request. I wouldn't be here if it was just you, Sandy." She giggled, oblivious to Sandy's distraught expression.

Robin said nothing. It seemed like the best course of action.

"No, the real reason that I'm here is to ask if I can cover one of your songs, Miss Sparkles? I tried to get in touch with your agent, but he said that he'd lost track of you years ago, and offered to sell me a used Volkswagen Beetle."

"Cover one of my songs…?" Robin mumbled. "I'm sorry, you want to cover one of my songs? Like, are you for real?"

The blonde nodded eagerly.

"Totally!" She replied. "I can even play you the demo! I brought it along!"

Robin actually had to fight a shudder as a fully rapped version of Sandcastles In The Sand came over her earpiece. The pink-clad singer was grinning maniacally and bopping in her chair, her eyes never leaving Robin's face.

How is she still smiling? Can she not see my mask of poorly-disguised horror?

"So what do you think " She demanded breathlessly.

"That… was…" Robin took a deep, shuddering breath. "No. Do not cover my songs. Ever. While we're on the subject, don't dress like me - yeah, don't think I didn't spot that - or talk to me about 'Robin Sparkles', or ask for my autograph." Robin turned to the cameras and imagined she was looking out at America. "That goes for all of you! I mean it, if you do any of these things - I have vicious copyright clauses in my contract and a friend who is a high-flying lawyer. I will sue your ass!"

"And, we're out of time!" Sandy said hurriedly. "Many thanks to our guest! Now for Derek with the weather!"

"…And we're off." Said Robin's earpiece.

"What the hell was that?" Sandy demanded, as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.

"Me defending my integrity! As a musician!" Robin snarled.

"So, does this mean I can't cover your song?" The rapper asked, cautiously. "'Cos I had a dance video scheduled for next Monday."

"Were you even listening to a word I said? No! Hell to the no! Given what you did to my music, I'd hate to see what you had planned for my video!"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"I was a role model, dammit! I empowered young women! I taught them that the worst thing you could do was French kiss! And I did kids' TV! It was pure, and innocent, and all about how friendship is the most super-special, awesome thing ever! And you will never take that from me!" Robin yelled.

For a few seconds, there was no sound apart from Robin's harsh panting as she recovered from her outburst.

Then there was sound, but it was bleeped out by the sound crew, who were always a little over-enthusiastic when it came to swearing. Their peroxide-blonde guest was reacting. There was more confrontation between the two of them, but for legal reasons, it cannot be mentioned.

What we can tell you is that the collaboration between a certain female rapper and Jessica Glitter (I thought she was my friend, but she's a total bitch! [Friendship sucks!]) reached Number 5 in the Canadian charts in early 2013.

A/N Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental…or something. We don't know. We just wanted a rapped version of Sandcastles in the Sand.

Also, did you spot the interrobang? We're going to make that punctuation mark better-known amongst our readers because it's too cool not to use…

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