Deadly; You all are mad.
Willow; Yes, yes they are.
Deadly: Not helping Willow.
Willow; It's not like it's my fault that you are a lazy.
Deadly; … You sound like there is a nation of lazy people.
Willow; Coughamericacoughcough
Deadly; Yes everyone American is somewhat lazy at times, I should know because I'm not fat or skinny but I am overweight even though most is muscle so I've been gone most of this time planning for track and swim team, crap like that so I'm very sorry for the not updating in forever. This is a really hard chapter to go into from personal experiences, but I shall do it anyway.
Disclaimer; Noobs rejoice! I own Inuyasha! And since this is written you can't here the sarcasm in my voice! WOOT!
Warning; Before you read this I should mention the song Monster by Meg and Dia because of the fact if you are treated as a monster, you end up one.
A Nobodies Life
His little whispers 'Love me, Love me'
That's all I ask for, Love me love
"Mama! Huyu and Ken called me an annoying bastard!" A young Akilo ran into a small shack where his widowed mother and two brothers used as a home.
"Because you are." Nasi said spitefully to me. She wanted a daughter instead another son and the fact I had a twin but my father had been the one that loved me as a person instead of an it. I never really knew what I did wrong until…
Flashy Back-
I had been sitting in the field enjoying the fragrance of freshly bloomed flowers and watching the pretty butterflies hop to each one, eager to stick its long curled up toung into the cup to get the nectar. Through watching all I didn't hear Huyu coming up behind.
"Hey monster! Watching all the pretty flowers?" He said snobbishly. Then he took the stick out from behind his back. It looked like a crude club the hags used as walking sticks." Well, I think I can take care of those pretty things so you can focus on being the family slave where you belong."
"No, wait!" I screamed when he caught a swallow-tail butterfly and tore both of the wings off. Then he lit the club top on fire, and since it had been one of the drier seasons in my life the flowers and they all burnt down. I cried. But I picked up a conveniently placed stick and hit him in the back. When it hit the mark he stumbled after a scream of pain.
"Hey… monsters...ugr…you better… run…cuz'…. If I catch you your dead." Huyu snarled through the pain and wavering if his vision. "or maybe I'll tell you why your called monster… that should leave a mental scar or you may just run away… end it all if you was smart."
"Why?" I muttered not exactly sure why but I felt as if had to.
"Tch 'Why' what? Why mother hates you? Or why you are called monster? Why you are shunned from everything? Because, monster, you ate our brother! You were a monster from the beginning!" Huyu had gotten up from the crouch he was in and was making his way over to me. "Mother was going to have twins… but no! You devoured him in the womb. Go die! You're a nobody. Now, you had better run…"
(Ending of Flashback)
"Mama? Why don't you love me?" I asked innocently. Mother's head dipped down so her black fringed hair covered her eyes. When her head snapped up her eyes were glassy and full of rage. "Monster! Out!"
She had grabbed me by my black hair and dragged me to the box behind the shed. It was where they locked me when I had been 'bad'.
Mother threw me in and had locked the crate before walking away and I did what any sensible child would do and beat on the top until my hands bled.I wonder now, is this how I should treat every one? Then why was every one nice to Huyu and Ken? Why was everyone pointing harshness at me and not at others?
He battered his tiny fist to feel something. Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something. Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the windows.
I stared hearing voices of the daemons all around, telling me to fight.
(Years later).
I saw a girl in a village I was visiting. The most beautiful thing I ever saw. I wish she would notice me. S o I ran up to her… like an idiot.
"H-hey." I stuttered when she looked at me with big chocolate eyes as I tried to look as dignified as possible. But they were all the same…
"What do you want, freak?" She grounded out. I took a few steps back at this and paled. They are all the same to me. Mean and ruthless. Cruel and heartless. I had finally snapped.
Few more hours
'That night he caged her bruised and broke her'
I found where she lived and broke in rather easily since the paper shoji door offered little resistance from a full grown man who was force into child slavery as soon as walking was learned it would be hard for a castle door to block me out. I snuck through the halls of the house with great agility from the many escaping from Huyu and Kens' savage beatings.
I found the right door. Rope and cloth in hand I charged into the room. The girl woke with a start and almost screamed when she saw me but I was fast enough, from outrunning everyone, that I was able to get there before she was able to make a squeak.
Fear was evident in her eyes as I shoved the cloth in her mouth and tied another piece around her mouth to make sure she was unable to scream for help. I tied the rope tightly around her wrists and ankles… a little too tight on the fact that her wrist and ankles broke under the force.
I pried open her legs and tore the fabric from her lower half. She had clenched her eyes tightly closed and prepared for anything.
He struggled closer, and then he stole her! Violet wrists and bled her ankles, silent pain.
When she opened them again there was so much pain in her eyes I realized that I had became a monster.
I ran so far. Hoping that they would never catch up. The voices kept pounding in my head.
"Monster. Monster! MONSTER. MONSTER!" They kept screaming this over and over again. Finally I let them take over and I felt the transformation come on. The pain was so much as they transformed all of my body parts.
I became a Nobody.
(Notes and Stuff!)
Full lyrics=
His little whispers love me love me
That's all I ask for love me love me
He battered his tiny fists to feel something
Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something
Monster how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the windows
That night he caged her bruised and broke her
He struggled closer then he stole her
Violent wrists and bled her ankles
Silent pain
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams
Monster how should I feel? Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
I will hear their voices
I'm a glass child
I am Hannah's regrets
Monster how should I feel?
Turn the streets down
Murder ears with pillow lace
There's bath tubs full of glow flies.
Bathe in kerosene
Their words tattooed in his veins
Yeah!
Here is the meaning of the song=
The couch. Always behind the couch. Under the table. The closet under the stairs. Three places to run. Three places to hide. Every time their voices would rise I would run to the closest sanctuary and thank God I was small enough to fit. Those voices that ran across each corner of the room seemed to reverberate off my very skin. Dad. He told me to call him Sir. Never Dad. Mom. She told me to call her Hannah. She was so pretty when she slept. She was so pretty when she was happy. Now, her body of twenty years was old. Tired from no sleep, breaking from fingertips pressed into her sides, and boiling with too hard of liquor for her fragile, porcelain outline.
After every uproar, every tear by her, and every empty bottle by him they would come looking. Her, happy to see him turn his malice towards me. Him, happy to turn his malice away from himself. I was the six year old pathetic coward.
Sir, I would say.
My eyes would wander to Hannah with frightened curiosity.
What had I done?
I called him sir. I called her Hannah.
They called me Henry at school.
They called me Henry at church.
They called me Monster at home.
After black, they would confine me to my room. A tiny room with one window, where their words said minutes earlier would form long sentences and wrap around in a circle above my head like those music boxes loving mothers would clip to the sides of their infants cribs. I hated my room. I hated the dark. They knew it, too, and took pleasure in locking me in. Locking me in where they could get me.
Dear Reader: Please note, if you ever were a six year old child, remember what it was like to lay in bed and imagine that loud heartbeat pulsing thick from underneath your mattress. Remember that hand that hovered over your face once you close your eyes. Remember that loud breathing that resided around your open window. The creatures. That white little girl that crawled towards you in the night, hair hanging around the neck, fingers outstretched. To a child it is horrid. To an adult, it is a memory that most barely ever remember.
Twenty years later.
I didn't understand love. I didn't understand human connection. I only understood the weather: constantly changing. I understood change. I didn't understand safety, or any emotion, be it love, or hate, that could be unconditional.
I was at my second year of college. I was striving to be a writer. I didn't trust the crowds. I would go to my apartment, sit at my small desk I had gotten at a garage sale, and stay there for hours with my books, my papers, and a bottle of brandy. Then the day would end, and I'd get ready for the next.
I slept with the lights on.
Always.
I didn't want many things, but every once in a while, I hate to admit, I would want to feel that popular emotion I had read about in so many books: love. I was scared to administer it myself. I was scared to feel for another person.
So things happened.
On the walk to my apartment I saw a girl in a red sweater. I pardoned her and asked her if she knew where Rebecca Street was. She looked at me in a funny way, paused, and turned her back to me. My hands ran to her shoulders, my lips to her neck. Hard fingers, hard hands. Her soft hair, thin ankles.
I ran off, leaving the crème skinned girl crying at her violette bruises left in patches under her sweater and skirt.
I had been born of glass but now I only felt apathy. No regrets, but still, that hard human pain that is there when you know you have done a terrible trespass.
I went back to my apartment. I turned all the lights on and opened the window. The night was calm and beautiful. The wind brought in glow flies by the dozen. They did not bother me like they did to most locals here. They brought light and company and I loved them with all my heart. I broke the lamps and poured the liquid into the bath tub. Small shards of porcelain glass managed to mix in with the water as well, that was now pouring from the faucet. I added the remaining kerosene I kept under my sink and by my desk which I had used as a denaturant for my alcohol.
Maybe it would have the same effect on me...
_
Deadly; please update. I will not be killing off Akilo; I promise that I will all work out. This is supposed to be a wakeup call because of several things that have happened of what late. I don't own the stuff out of notes they are what I remember from the thing I read.
Willow; I couldn't agree more.