I just want to let everyone know, that this isn't a yaoi story. Percy's just off of his freaking head right now and he's really, really confused, so bear with me, the story gets better. You'll get a peek inside of Annabeth's mind too, sooner or later, and I'll even show you Percy Jackson in an alcohol induced haze of madness.

Um… yeah.

Chapter 4: Think!

I don't remember when the heck it started. This weird thing. I'd had another meet on Wednesday, but I couldn't concentrate because Nico was there. He and Rachel were screaming their butts off and he was making me nervous so I only did 2 swims, giving coach this bogus excuse about me having a real bad headache. He knew enough to sit me out. The last time I'd had to swim during a headache I passed out and almost drowned.

So I was sitting on the bench, pretending to nurse my head after swimming, and only winning by 4 seconds. I was trying to beat my record of 8 seconds but it wasn't going to happen when I couldn't think.

Once the meet was over, I sat in the locker room after showering and getting dressed, with my head between my knees. I hadn't known that Rachel and Nico would show up, so I'd driven alone. Good thing, because if I didn't I'd be forced to breathe in the scent of Nico for 10 minutes.

You may think it happened on Monday, but it didn't. It started before that I know. It had to because if it didn't, I would feel it so intensely. I wouldn't be so afraid of being in his presence and I wouldn't be nervous when I was.

"Hey Percy, di Angelo's waiting outside for ya, said he didn't wanna leave some Rachel chick alone." A guy called Raymond said. I nodded at him and grabbed my hoodie, slipping into it before I walked out of the locker room.

"What's up Neeks. Didn't know you'd be around." I said, trying to plant a smile on my face. It was harder than it sounds. He looked me up and down suspiciously, like he thought I might have drugs on me or something (I didn't, for your information).

"Well, you know… Bianca's in town. Said she wanted to "ogle her favorite brother's super hot best friend" and I couldn't object to that." He shrugged, nonchalantly. It was weird, to think Bianca had actually said that, though I knew it was probably true. She was forever staring at me, especially when I was shirtless.

"I believe you. Where is she?" I laughed, avoiding Nico's eyes on purpose. He looked like he was just as uncomfortable as me.

"Pulling her car around. Rachel's riding with her." I nodded, and an awkward silence ensued, making Rachel look back and forth between us like we'd just simultaneously grown two new heads.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" she asked loudly. A few guys from the team looked over at us and I frowned at her before looking over at Nico for help, but I looked away quickly because I couldn't take his scrutiny.

"Nothing." We said shortly, at the same time.

"Something." she insisted, wiggling her eyebrows at us.

"Nothing, honest Rache." Nico rolled his eyes and started walking towards the door. I couldn't help myself, I started staring at the way his shoulder blade protruded from his back, and those little lumps from his spine.

Nico is different. He's more strange and odd than any of the "deep bad boys" you could find at your school. He's this totally different breed that had never been discovered. He loved music, he liked painting but he was a jock and he flirted with girls to get what he wanted. He smoked weed for fun, and he got tipsy on school nights, but he loved his sisters and he'd do absolutely anything for them. He hated his stepmom, lost all respect for his father, but he wasn't broken. He was cocky and sarcastic and probably the hardest partying person I'd ever met. I mean, before the whole Annabeth Incident, he used to go Project X on a regular basis. But then again, he hated leaving his house and talking to people. He was rich but he rocked his old beat up Chuck Taylor's, in every classic color, high tops. He played guitar, not to get girls but because his mom thought it was cool. He was into "older women" and totally went to book club on Saturdays sometimes for the sole purpose of talking to the receptionist at the library, Linda. He was a raving insomniac, and practically a lunatic when he hadn't had any good sleep in a few weeks. I'd been noticing that about him for a while. For a few weeks actually. I'd noticed the way he hated when attention was all directed at him, but he purposely pulled stunts to embarrass other people in public, and then he'd laugh about it. I'd noticed how his eyes would darken when anyone mentioned his mother or Persephone in the same paragraph, I'd noticed how he was staring at Riley more and more, and how she was staring at him less and less, (but when she did it was for literally like 10 minutes) I'd noticed how he had this little wrinkle in between his eyebrows when he did batting practice. I noticed his laugh more, I noticed his clothes, his bones, I noticed everything now and on Monday it had begun to freak me out.

You see? Guys aren't supposed to do that!

So I didn't talk to Nico as we walked. I avoided looking into his eyes, and I tried not to wonder about how he was so thin, so small and how the heck he could be so massively strong and scary.

"What's with you Perce? You keep starin' at me like I've finally gone off my head or something." Nico said suddenly. We were right in front of his car, and I didn't know why the hell I'd gone with him when we could've just gone separate ways at the exit of the school building. I found myself staring at his lips as he spoke.

Suddenly, I realized that I needed something and it wasn't water. It wasn't water or Annabeth or narcotics or alcohol, it was Nico and the whole idea of that was so disturbing that I wanted to cry. I wanted to get rid of this terrible ache in my chest that was throbbing with each pulse. I wanted to stab myself through the chest and rip this pain out because I didn't want Nico like that, but my brain couldn't tell because all my brain knew was that my chest was aching for Nico, and he smelt like death and cologne and booze and cigarettes, and I knew he smoked, but only when stressed and I couldn't think straight.

His lips were so full.

_Drowning_

I'd run away from Nico. I'd stared at his lips for a full minute and a half and decided that I was done being so ridiculously weird and I ran away like a wimp to my car and sped to my house. I didn't expect Nico to follow me and he didn't, and I was disappointed. Not because he didn't follow me but because I didn't see Bianca. Well, that's what I kept telling myself as I sat in my bed staring at the wall. I was hoping my phone would ring for some reason, though I'm not sure who I wanted to call.

I didn't go to school the next day. The feeling in my stomach was so painful that I needed something to numb it and I ended up sitting in front of my flat screen with a glass of straight vodka, no cranberry juice, and two OxyContin. It wasn't a healthy combination but I liked the cool blue haze that pulled me under and sucked all the life out of my chest. I liked the way I could feel those cold black tendrils squeezing my heart until each breath throbbed, but the throb was like blinking. It was normal and welcome and I liked it. I loved it.

That was just me in the morning. I sat on the couch not even pretending to watch T.V, not arguing with Paul when he asked me why I wasn't going to school, and enjoyed my screwed up funk for hours. This was even more consuming than the water. This ate me up faster and took longer to spit me out.

By the time I would've been at lunch I was drunk and the OxyContin hadn't worn off yet so I was satisfied. I could hear every heartbeat, and every breath tasted like cotton candy and I wanted to let it melt on my tongue and watch it turn colors. Light to dark. I wanted to smoke a joint too, but Nico wasn't a around and he had all the connections. Not that I'd talk to him anyway.

By the time school should've been over I was blasting The Temper Trap to a point where my ears ached but I just drowned the pain. I drowned it away with vodka and gin and scotch and Jose Quervo. It all burned my throat but it got rid of thoughts of Annabeth with her princess hair, it got rid of Nico with his jutting hip bones and protruding spine, it got rid of my mom not caring anymore, it got rid of fucking Paul trying to help me, it got rid of teachers, it got rid of girls coming on to me, it got rid of it all, and I was glad because it hurt too much. I'd take the stinging in my throat any day. I'd welcome it with open arms.

When Paul walked in the house, my throat was hoarse from belting out lyrics and my hand was bleeding. I don't know why, all I know is that I was clutching a pair of scissors from the kitchen drawer because I'd needed to cut a thread.

"Percy! What the fuck?" he'd screamed, but he was a thousand miles away and I couldn't hear him. Well I could but my ears were broken anyway, all I heard were these horrible words. These lies from some girl with blonde curls saying that she loved me. All I heard were the lies from some skinny anorexic looking guy with black hair saying I'd be fine. All I were the lies that fell from the mouth of a fire goddess who said that she would help me. All I heard were the lies that had opened this crater in my chest that wouldn't let me rest and haunted me in my sleep.

All I heard was my own mind taunting me.

I stumbled away from the voice of Paul and locked myself in the basement. There was a pool table and a Wii, and an Xbox 360, with Kinect, and there was a PlayStation 3 and there were tons and tons of games and there was a huge flat screen, almost as big as the one the Dares had in their living room. It wasn't enough though. It wasn't enough to distract me from the fact that my mother didn't have time for me, my father never wanted me, my friends thought I was insane, I was a raging freaking alcoholic and I couldn't get over some random bitch who tossed my fucking heart like it was old, moldy ass lasagna.

I was mad.

I had all these insane conflicting emotions welling inside of me, I hurled my glass of tequila across the room, smashing it on the wall, watching the liquid flow down. I liked the way it dripping and leaked, and I liked the glass stuck in the drywall.

I passed out down there.

The next morning, on Friday, when I woke up my head was pounding and my throat was dry, and my stomach ached and all I wanted was a smoke, a shot, and a super Aspirin.

I heaved myself off of the ground and made my way up to the kitchen. The clock read 12:11 pm and I though no one was home.

"Percy!" my mom shouted. Her voice was shrill and high and full of worry as she threw herself at me, trying to get a hug. Oh, I get it.

"Now you notice?" I growled softly, pushing her away from me. For some reason she didn't seem like the beautiful brown haired blue eyed mother that I had so worshipped when I was 12. She seemed like this sellout, this trader who totally discarded me when she found something else more time consuming. Something more interesting. Something that was actually worth concentrating on.

"Notice what sweetie?" she asked, tears in her eyes. She looked like she had something really important to say and at any other time I would've listened but I was flying in a blind rage.

"That I needed you! Four months ago, I literally lied on the couch for 32 hours and you didn't say anything. Not a GOD DAMN THING!" I shouted. She shrank away from me and I liked it because I didn't need her close.

I thought.

"Percy I-," she began, and I snorted.

"Go to work mom. Leave me alone, like you did when all I needed was to be around you." I sighed, feeling the high of anger wear off. She ran out of the room.

I thought about the way everything had turned out. I even thought about the guy I'd left behind, called Grover in my old apartment building because I thought this life would be something special.

I was still thinking when I called my dad.

"Hello?" he answered. His voice was deep and rumbly and I would bet he was as confused as I was.

"Poseidon?" I started.

"Yes, this is him speaking. May I ask who's calling?"

"It's you son Percy Jackson. I was wondering, could I get a really big reservation at Olympus tonight at 8 o'clock? I wanna bring some friends." I said bluntly. I could tell he was probably widening his eyes and looking surprised and shit.

"Percy?"

"Yes. So, can I get the reservations or what? I need to get outta this fucking house." I sighed, annoyed.

"Um, yes. How many?" Well, there's:

Me, Nico, Hazel, Frank, Riley, Rachel, Travis, Conor Bianca, Thalia, Jason, Piper, Leo, Clarisse, Chris, Silena, and Beckondorf.

"Eighteen."

"Um, do you-?"

"I was hoping it'd be on the house. Subtract the amount from your child support check or something. I'll be an adult soon anyway."

"Um… yes, yes of course." He murmured.

"Thanks." I muttered and hung up.

I took another glass of scotch and headed back downstairs.