Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!

Have fun reading.

*I don't own anything from Twilight.*

RISING STAR:

Chapter 3. Fate.

In the middle of the night, I woke up because of the cold. I was in my bed again.

'Jacob?' I asked with a husky voice. I turned around, still half asleep. But his warm chest didn't lay next to me. Of course not.

I let my eyes adjust to the dark and then I saw my suitcase, still half packed, at the floor next to my bed. I noticed I was still wearing my jeans. I didn't want to change all of my clothes, so I walked to my suitcase and grabbed a sweater. Then I walked to the bedroom of my parents. They probably already heard I was awake, but I still knocked.

My parents weren't in their room. So I got back to bed and tried to sleep again and failed. So I runned to the Cullens house. Esme and Rosalie stared ahead in the living room. The rest of the house was empty. I immediately knew something was wrong.

'What happend?' I asked shocked.

Rosalie look to me. She didn't even notice I was here.

'Nothing special. Something in the woods. Everyone went. Alice said something about a newborn.'

A newborn, that was a new vampire, I knew that. What was he doing here? He didn't belong here. And why did everyone go there? If he was just passing by, we didn't have anything to do with it. Only if the newborn broke the rules, Carlisle would go.

'Who did he attack?' I asked worried.

Rosalie and Esme were shocked. They didn't expect me to figure that out. But I wasn't crazy. She was quiet for a moment.

'You can tell me, I'm sure I can handle it.'

It was silent, then Esme started talking.

'We heard a wolf cry.'

Shock. Jacob. No, please, don't let it be Jacob. I tried to think about other ways, I didn't care if anyone else was attacked. I would get over it if it was Seth or Leah or Sam. Just not Jacob. Please, not Jacob.

I tried to calm myself down. Jacob had duty the day before, he couldn't be it. He wouldn't be it.

Just when it couldn't get any worse, Emmett stormed inside. He was alone. Without thinking about it or looking through the room he threw it out.

'It's Jacob, he's in really bad shape. That newborn really got to him.'

I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, everything was hazy. Jacob, my Jacob was bitten. I knew what that ment. Vampire posion for a werewolf was deadly.

I couldn't say anything, do anything. I couldn't move, say, see anything. I couldn't even think straight. The only thing that went through my mind was: Not Jacob, my Jacob.

I didn't know how long I sat there and I didn't care. But suddenly I heard someone walk outside. I heard the door go open.

'Emmett couldn't think like a normal person again. He almost yelled it trough the room. I think she's in shock.' Rosalies voice.

I tried to see who was at the door, what they were doing. But my sight was still hazy en I couldn't find my neck to turn it.

But I could guess it were my parents who just came home. I saw shadows walk around and I felt how someone hold me.

I wanted to say something, but I failed. I couldn't do it anymore. The only thing I could think was: Jacob, my Jacob…

'Honey, are you OK? It's going to be alright, I promise.'

Slowly, everything went back to normal again. I became calm. Jasper was home. Finally. My mother hugged me and rocked me back and forth. She gave me kisses in my hair and whispered sweet things in my ear. I really wanted to say something to her, but I couldn't. Jasper made me calm, but that didn't make me normal. I knew they wanted me to say something. But I was scared that if I opened my mouth, everything would come out. That I would yell and swear. That I would hurt my family, because I was so mad at myself. So I just sat there, in my mothers arm.

'Honey, you need to eat something.'

Rosalie came to me with the familier cup, the hot steam came off. I grabbed the cup and let the warm blood slide through my throath. It was the cheeta from my birthday, but this time, I didn't care that I had something delicious. I didn't even taste it.

I looked through the room and saw that my father and Carlisle weren't here. They were probably still with Jacob. I wanted to know how he was doing, but I was still afraid to open my mouth. I lifted my hand and showed my mother what I wanted to know.

'We were just in time and we have sucked out as much posion as we could. We had to stop after a while, otherwise we would have drained him. We don't know whether all the posion is out and he lost a lot of blood. Unfortunatly, he hasn't woken up yet, but his heart is still beating. Carlisle will keep an eye on him every day and night and he does everything in his power to save him. But, there is a chance that he won't wake up…'

I didn't know how to react. Of course this was horrible news. But somewhere I was happy, there was still a chance. Somewhere there was a mini chance that he would wake up, that he could be the old Jacob again. There was a little spark of hope.

'I know how you feel. Jacob was in a big accident once before. I can't remember it that well, but I know how awful it was. I didn't know how to react either.

'Take your time, think about it. Nobody expects something from you. Find a place for your sadness. I know you can digest all of this at the end. But take your time.'

She rocked me back and forth. But it felt wrong. Why was she so sweet for me? Didn't they all see it was my fault? I did this! Jacob was alone in the woods, because I was so mean to him. He was puzzled because I hurt him. He didn't pay attention because he was thinking about me. If I wouldn't have been so mad, he would have been with me. Than he would have laid in bed with me, like always. This was my fault. And the horrible feeling I had now, was my desert. That newborn should've had me, it was my fault. Jacob was innocent. I caused all of this and now, he could never forgive me, ever.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to leave, before I destroyed the house. I wanted to scream and throw things. And everything in this house was breakable. I stood up and without saying anything I runned outside. With my motor I drove to the beach. The place where I wreaked all of this. I wasn't calm anymore, Jasper wasn't here. Finally I wasn't calm anymore. It was raining, so the beach was empty. Good. I could do what I wanted. So, I opened my mouth and, as expected, everything came out. I screamed and yelled.

'DAMN, WHY? WHY?' I threw with branches, sometimes with whole trees, I didn't care. Finally, all the frustrations came out.

'Are you OK?' I heard a voice behind me. I knew that voice. It was the person I didn't want to see right now.

'Go away! Leave me alone.' I yelled at her.
Leah stopped, she didn't let me expel her. She only made me more mad.

'Go irritate someone else!' I screamed. She didn't listen. I wanted her to go away. And at this time I was able to use violence.

But she didn't leave. She just stood there and looked at me with a worried face. I decided to ignore her and continued.

'Sam told me to ask you to stop, all of La Push can hear you.' Leah said.

I didn't care. They could hear. They could know everything about me. It didn't matter anymore. So I continued.

Then, I felt two strong arms around me. One hand on my mouth. Normally, I could free myself from her, but I was so tired from all the screaming that I didn't bother anymore. My whole body was shaking. I let her carry me away and put me on the tree. She stood in front of me and looked at me.

'What do you want?' I said provocative. I didn't want to bo nice to Leah.

'I want you to tell me why you are screaming so loud, all of Forks can hear you.' She said it like it was obvious.

I sighed and did nothing. Why did she care? She hated me, she hated Hacob. She hated everything around her.

'Well?' she threatened.

'What do you think?' I said mad. I turned my head away. I didn't want to look at her arrogant face anymore.

'I think it has something to do with Jacob.' She guessed.

'Well, bingo. Right first time. You're trough to the fridge!' I said sarcastic.

She chuckled. I looked mad at her. It wasn't funny. Nothing was funny now. Leah took a seat next to me.

'You know, I know a lot about you. Mostly it's not nice to be in the heads of the rest of the pack, but I learn a lot from it. Jacob now knows how to control his thoughts, but when he first met you, he yelled in his thoughts about you. How beautiful and awesome and funny you were. And mostly how strong and brave. He really admires you.'

I didn't want to look at her. Why did she tell me this? Did she want to give me even more guilt? It was working.

'Look, I don't know from my own experience how it feels to be imprinted with someone. But I know how it is for Sam and Jake and Quil, I know how they feel. It's so special and complicated. I've never agreed on us imprinting, I thought it wasn't necessary.

'I never liked your mother. Jake loved her so much and all she did was hurt him. He wanted to believe that she would pick him, while everyone knew she couldn't leave Edward, that she loved him to much. Your mother hurt Jake really bad. And I know she didn't intent to do that. It just went that way. She was in love with two guys at the same time and she couldn't change it. But it broke Jake.

'And then you came. And it was great to see how happy he was, finally. He was so worried about you and continued to be amazed about how brave and strong you were. He was so proud you belonged to him. And I was happy, because I knew you would never hurt Jacob. Whatever you would say, whatever you would do, how mad you would be, someday you would tell him you were sorry and he would forgive you. You belong together and that will never change.

'I also know how much it hurts to be imprinted. If Sam looks at Emilies scars… She forgave him a long time ago, but he didn't forgive himself yet. He still hates himself for doing that to her. That's the complicated thing about imprinting.

'Look, I understand that it looks like I can't stand Jake, which was true at first. But we are much alike and I love him, as a brother. He can't hide his thoughts for me. I know what happend between you.

'I also know I don't show you that I like you. It just really hard for me to be in a house full of vampires. But I do like you, you make Jake happy. So, I want to ask you for a favor. I know I never did something for you, but this is so important for me and for everyone who loves Jacob.'

I didn't know what pull me to the story, but I believed her. For the first time since… ever… I liked Leah. I nodded.

'Will you forgive yourself, please? It's not your fault. He made a mistake by taking you by surprise and this is hard for you too. Imprinting isn't easy. I won't say that you didn't hurt him, be he hurt you too. Jake is a moron who can't control his feelings and didn't pay attention.'

I chuckled. She looked at me.

'This is not your fault. Really.

'I'm asking you this because, because you are the only person who can make him better. Visit him, talk to him, use your gift to show him he has to fight, for us, please. He really loves you… And I love him so much, I can't lose him.'

Her voice faltered. I saw the tears in her eyes. I never realised how much she cared about him. I let my vinger catch a tear.

'I can't lose him either.' I said with a quiet voice. Suddenly, everything became clear. This gave me power and hope again. It would all be OK, I knew it.

Our intimate moment was disrupted by the howl of a wolf. We were both shocked.

'Is there news?' I asked shocked.

'I'll check, wait here.' Leah runned to the woods.

I waited on the tree trunk, impatient. If Jake didn't make it, it was to late. Then I could never tell him…

Before I knew, Leah was back.

'Nothing wrong.' She comforted me. 'Sam wondered were I was. He wants me to come back. So, I have to go.' She turned around and wanted to leave.

'Leah?'

'She stopped and turned around.

'Yes?'

I blushed.

'Thanks.' I walked to her and gave her a hug. Suddenly, I really liked Leah. We could become good friends if we both wanted to.

She smiled and walked away.

I stayed on the beach for a while, but than I decided it was time to go home.

My mother came right to me and gave me a hug.

'Still no change.' She said while she stroked my hair. She looked awful. Her eyes and the circles under them turned darker every second. 'If he doesn't wake up soon, he probably won't make it.'

It was clear she had been waiting for me. Because when I was here again she wanted to go arrange things.

'I never told him.' I said to her. Shocked, she turned around. Of course, this was the first thing I said to her after my shock.

'I never told him.' I repeated it, to let her know I really said it.

Carefully, I walked to the chouch. The talk with Leah really helped me, but inside I still felt miserable. If Jacob didn't wake up, than I never told him. Than I really was to late. And I couldn't handle that.

My mother took a seat next to me and hugged me. She had the right to know what happend. She was my mother, she was everything for me. And she probably was really worried about me. I had to tell her what happend.

'We had a fight, the last time I saw him. He told me he was in love with me. I wasn't ready for change, I was scared. I wanted everything to stay as it was.

'Now, everything is different, and he doesn't know I love him. Now that he can't hear it, I find out I'm in love with him. I never told him that and now he will never know.'

We were both silent for a long time. My mother didn't know what to say to me, but I knew what I wanted.

'Can I see him, please?' I asked carefull. I knew he was very weak and he couldn't have visitors. I also knew that it would really hurt me to see him. But I wanted it anyway, I had to see him. He had to know I loved him.

My mother looked at me, saw how determined I was and nodded.

We went to La Push by car. The closer we came, the more insecure I became. I didn't know what to think of it. I wanted to see him so badly, hug him. But I didn't know if I could handle it. So fragile. I didn't know if I could handle telling him. It wasn't just someting. And suppose he died, than I did it all for nothing. I was probably even harder to lose my true love than losing my brother.

But before I could protest, we were in front of the small house of the family Black. The house were I've been so many times. My fathers Volvo was there two.

With shaking leggs I walked to the front door. Without knocking my mother opened it.

Billy Black was in the middle of the small living room, he was staring to nothing. My father was making dinner for him. He looked surprised when we came in. He walked to me and gave me a hug.

'You can go see him.'

Step by step I walked to the bedroomdoor, really slowly. I layed my hand on the heck, but I was scared to open it. I felt the eyes of my parents burning in my back. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

There he lay, on his bed. His eyes were closed. Next to him were a drip and a heart monitor. His heart was weak, his face skinny and pale and the big circles under his eyes were dark. But I could ignore all those things. There, in the bed, lay my Jacob. It looked like he was sleeping really well.

Carlisle stood up from the chair next to the bed. I scared up. I hadn't noticed his presence.

'I'll leave you two alone.' He closed the door behind me.

Now that I was alone with Jacob, I walked to the bed. My hand went to his face, slowly. His skin felt cold against mine. He didn't have the high tempature as normal. He had the same tempature as a normal human now.

I stroke my fingers over his face, felt every part beneath my fingertips. His nose, his lips, his eyelids. I stroke his hair.

I wondered if I could show him something. So I lay my hand on his hand and showed him what I wanted him to know. I showed him that I was sorry and that I loved him. That I was in love with him. I didn't know if he saw it, but I tried to make contact with him.

I was still stroking his face. I wanted to hold him. The chair where Carlisle sat on, was still in the corner. I shove it closer and took my seat. I tried to wrap my arms around Jacob, but I failed. I was still to far away. Mad I kicked the chair away. I needed more space.

On his bed was a little place. Really carefully I laid down next to him, wrapped my arms around him. I laid my head on his chest and focused on his breath.

There I lay, a long time. I focused on his heartbeat and breath, was happy I was with him. After about half an hour, my mother came in.

'Honey, we really need to go.'

I nodded and wanted to stand up. But then I realized that this may be the last time I saw him. I hugged him again.

'I can't say goodbye.' I tried to hide the tears that run over my face, but I failed. I couldn't live without Jacob. I wanted to stay here, for ever.

I looked at my mother and saw she was having a difficult time. She stood next to me and stroke my back.

'I know, love, me neither.'

If she could've cried, she would have now.

In the room next to me I heard the soft voices of Quil, Embry and Seth. They came to see Jacob too. If I stayed, it would be to busy, that's why I had to leave.

I secretly hoped they would leave, so that I could stay. My mother lost her patience and lifted me from the bed. After she'd put me down, I stayed next to the bed. I grabbed his hand and stroke it. Soft I whispered in his ear: 'Stay with me, please. I can't live without you. I love you. Hold on.' Than, I let go of his hand and walked out of the room. The small living room was pretty full because of the three tall guys. I walked to Seth and hugged him. Quil and Embry joined us. It was good to be with friends again. I felt different than family. We didn't say anything and we didn't have to. We all knew what we were thinking. I tried to dry my tears in Seths hot chest.

Carlisle came back from his inspection.

'You can go in, one by one.'

We let go. First, Seth walked into the room that I had just left. I couldn't stand here, useless. I wanted to leave.

'We're leaving.' I said with a husky voice. Quickly, I gave the boys a kiss and left.