Oh I left you in suspense now didn't I? Really, I'm not sorry about it, I hope it kept you all reading, especially something as spectacular as Percy freaking kissing Nico! Um, this chapter is basically after the kiss, Percy's thoughts as he gets smashed again and goes out. Then it changes to Nico's point of view. And as we all know, Nico always has his own thoughts.
Also, I'm thinking about changing the rating to M, tell me what you think through PM or review. Thanx.
Chapter 6: Get Out.
Nico gasped and pulled back incredulously, looking absolutely appalled and shocked and disgusted and every other word in the world that could describe how totally stunned he looked. His eyes widened, showing off how bloodshot they were, and he stumbled backwards, knocking into the island, not so smoothly. He sort of just stared at me as my heart left a dent in my ribs from pounding so hard, and my stomach basically felt like it was eating itself because it hurt so effing badly. My knees were pretty weak, not because I was afraid of what Nico was going to do, but because I was afraid that I enjoyed kissing him. I was afraid I'd want to do it again and then I really wouldn't be wanted anywhere. I was afraid Nico wasn't going to talk to me anymore, that he was going to tell Rachel, and Riley and Hazel and Frank and the twins and everyone else at school, and I'd never live it down.
"I-I uh, I um- I- gods Nico-I didn't- please- Nico…" I stammered. My mouth was dry and all I wanted to do was swallow all the water in the world and hopefully drown from the lack of oxygen, the lack of breathing. I wanted this horrible pounding, throbbing, stabbing pain in my lungs to just kill me, because it's not like I was needed or wanted on this earth, and I didn't want to be here and the pain felt so good but it felt horrible too. I deserved it, actually. For holding Annabeth back, my mother, worrying Paul, and Nico, and Rachel and for confusing the hell out of Nico too, for banging his sister. I deserved all of this.
"Percy, you need help." Nico stated slowly. He looked up at me, with a plea in his eyes. He wasn't wiping at his lips in revolt, in fact he seemed to be licking them quite a lot, and he looked scared, he looked like he was terrified of what would happen next, to the both of us.
"What do you mean?" I finally managed to choke out through the pain. Surely enough, when this pain was gone, I'd be left as nothing. Nothing but something left discarded and unwelcome and weird and strange and unwanted and all those other bad adjectives that would describe me.
"Percy, you're breaking inside your own head. You're falling the fuck apart. And I know you loved her, hell she was like my sister for the –what- 2 ½ years you were dating. But this, this is out of control man. You've gone completely off your fucking head!" Nico sighed. He was tired, I was tired, but I wasn't tired like he was. He was tired, because he gets no sleep, because he stays up for hours and hours and hours because of stress. Stress that's not induced by school, he's got a 4.0 GPA, stress that's not induced by sports, he doesn't even want to play college sports or anything serious, not even stress about the family, because he doesn't even consider himself a part of it. The stress that keeps him up for hours and hours and more hours is me, his best friend who didn't fall off the deep end, he jumped, dove. I was tired because I didn't have anything left in me, I was running on emptiness and it wasn't enough.
"I need help?" I sneered, suddenly angry. He doesn't know what it's like to have his heart ripped out of him through his freaking mouth, stomped on and then shoved back into your body all fucked up beyond repair, through your freaking stomach. He doesn't know what it's like to be dead inside because the one thing your heart was actually beating for, the one reason why you breathed, showed up to school, any type of practice, totally left you. He doesn't know what it means to be thrown away, unwanted, he doesn't under-freaking-stand and he has the nerve, the audacity to tell me I need help! I'm not insane.
I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I am not insane.
I don't know who the hell he thinks he is.
"Yes. Percy, I'm your best friend, and I have been since you could freaking walk, and I am telling you, that from the bottom of my heart, I freaking love you, man. You've been there through it all, you're my brother. And as your brother, best friend, self-assigned conscience, and the only person you know who has given a flying fuck through it all I am saying, that you Percy freaking Jackson, need help." He rushed the words out like they tasted funny on his tongue. I hoped they did. I hoped he felt like shit for calling me insane. I'm here. Every single freaking second. Through every ache and pain that she caused, I sat there and took it. I took it so he wouldn't have to worry, so he wouldn't grow gray hairs. He doesn't understand how much I wanted to give up, to let it all go.
"Fuck you Nico." I breathed. He recoiled further from me, because I wanted him to.
I am not insane. I am not okay, or insane, or crazy, or depressed or fucking angry. I'm Percy Jackson and I don't need shit. I don't need the fucking booze, I like it. I don't need the water, or Annabeth, because she's a bitch and like 70 fuck percent of my body is water and I don't need anymore. I smoke weed cause it's fun, I take acid because it's crazy as hell.
But don't need that shit, and I'm going to show him.
"Percy…"
"I don't need you! I don't fucking need any of you dammit! Get the hell out!" I shouted, making him flinch. Good.
_Drowning_
Fuck Nico. If he thinks I'm freaking cracked, that's great for him. But for right now I'm going to get out, get out and smoke a joint, pop a couple of pills, get totally smashed, just to prove I don't need any of this shit. My mom can disown me, Nico and Rachel can ditch me, I can fail every single fucking class I take, and will I give a flying shit? No. Because I don't need any of it, and I sure as hell don't need help.
I went to Blink. I kind of just wandered around in my nice clothes until some girl came up to me.
"Hi." She chirped. Her voice was way too high and I could tell she was a duntz. But she was high, and wasted, and she didn't remember her freaking address and that's what I wanted.
"Hello beautiful, what's your name?" I asked, putting on my voice that I reserved for dunken girls who were super-hot. And she was the epitome of hot, with long blond hair that touched her butt, it was pin straight and there wasn't an artificial highlight or streak in it. She was wearing a pretty blue dress that hugged her curves, and her thighs were muscled, like a dancer's or a runner's. Her eyes were electric blue, kind of frightening, but sweet because she was so adorable. She had some of the highest cheek bones I'd ever seen and her eyelashes were thick and gorgeous.
"I'm Stella. You are?"
"Percy." I flashed a grin at her. Gods, she was hot. Her tits were just staring me right in the face and all I wanted was to kiss her senseless. Those lips, sure as hell were tempting.
"I'm gonna buy you a round, Percy." She slurred. It reminded me of a Death Cab song, Crooked Teeth. Yeah, she's so cute when she's slurring her speech.
An hour later I was piss drunk and I had her pressed up against a wall, skirt hiked up to her hips as I kissed her neck and grinded against her. She moaned and writhed and she made me want her like nothing else.
But I didn't need her.
You know what, Death Cab lyrics are popping up everywhere. (Right there he'd be like "yeah you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me." And I hate to say that but that's how effed up Percy is right now, disrespecting women and crap.)
Nico P.O.V
I'm really fucking pissed off right now so don't even walk near me. Anyone. If someone freaking interrupts me during this rant I will explode and then kill the living fuck outta them, so if I were you, I'd stick around for this shit.
I don't think Percy freaking realizes how much he fucking means to me. He is my brother, and has been forever. Which is why I didn't punch this shit out of him when he fucking kissed me. I didn't knee him in the balls like I wanted to or beat him with a fucking baseball bat for fucking my sister, and the gods know I've got a savage wind up with a bat. I don't think he realizes how much I want my former best friend back, he doesn't know that I know how it feels to have the only woman you truly love just leave you like it never mattered. He doesn't know that I watched him fall in love, I watched him when we were twelve and I knew that he would never not love her. I knew it. I watched him even when my mother took those pills and left me with a woman who didn't care about me and never would and a broken father. I watched out for him and he has the fucking nerve to think that I don't know about fucking pain!
He doesn't know that I had scars running up my arms when I was 14 because I was fucked up in the head. He doesn't know that my dad literally begged me to get them removed even though I wanted to show them to the world. He doesn't know that I literally do not fucking sleep because I see my mother's face behind my eyelids. He doesn't know anything about anything except fucking water! He doesn't fucking understand anything and I swear to gods if the next time I see him he's drunk I'm going to kick his ass.
I need to breathe, I need to get this anger out and I need to do it now or I am going to die.