Sorry you guys needed to wait so long. But I finally translated everything. This it the last chapter! ENJOY!
Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!
Have fun reading.
*I don't own anything from Twilight.*
RISING STAR:
Chapter 5. Farewell.
I woke up slowly with the Jacobs arms around me. I had a double feeling about today. I didn't look foward to it, but on the other side I did. I knew I had to get up, it wouldn't be long until they would leave. But I just wanted to enjoy this moment. I lay in my own room in my own bed with Jacob next to me. Everything was still allright. The bedroom next to me was still my parents' room. I did wonder what they did there, because they couldn't sleep. But if I thought about it logical I knew.
But this afternoon this house was mine and Jacobs, where we were going to live here together. It was so unreal. Jacob and me would be togehter.
The past few weeks were so hard. Jacob had to rehabilitate, that took an eternity. I couldn't wait until I could take him to the beach again, but he had to get stronger first. And from my side, that getting stronger went in mouse steps. It took a week to get out of bed anyway. Then, he could stand for a second before he collapsed. I stayed with him, even though I couldn't look at him. It was frightening how much he struggled with normal things. But I hold his hand, smiled at every progress he made, even though it went to slow. I knew he got support out of it. I felt it. So I stayed with him, all the time.
And just when Jacob was starting to get better, just when I could go on with my life again, grandpa Charlie got sick. He had a heartattack. Luckily my mother was with him and he got treated soon, but he wasn't allright. I stood next to the hospital bed, just like I had done with Jacob. But this time, my sweet words didn't help…
My mother was devastated. She walked back and foward trough the house without doing anything. After a while my father finally got her to lay in bed. He played piano for her and she tried to relax. I looked at her. She didn't look relaxed at all, the contrary. It was a miracle she was laying on the bed. But every mussle in her body was tight. She looked terrible. She hadn't hunted in weeks, so the circled under her eyes were bigger and darker then ever.
I wanted to help her, to comfort her. Slowly, carefull for every step, I walked over to her. I layed beside her on the bed. Carefully I put my arms around her. I was really close to her. I layed my hand on her cheek and showed her soothing images. I hoped she would finally relax. Softly I hummed along with the music of my father. Slowly, a normal human wouldn't notice, I felt her body next to me relax. Finally, she was resting. Even if it was only for fifteen minutes, she had the peace she was looking for.
Suddenly, she sat upright in the bed. I was shocked by it, the strenght that went with it.
'My mom.' She whispered.
My father took his hands off of the piano.
I didn't understand. I knew my mother had a mother. But my parents had never told anything about my grandma. Probably, they had a good reason, because within a second they were panicked, talking to each other. Trying to find a solution for the problem: Mother. I tried to follow their conversation.
'My mother can't come here, she can't. If she sees me like this…. She isn't the same as Charlie. I can't put her in danger.' My mother yelled.
'But you can't let her miss this. Charlie was her husband once, he was the father of her daughter. She has to know that…'
'Don't say it! I can't handle that.' My mother clipped my dad. I had never seen them like this before, it looked like they were in a fight. They were so rude to each other, it scared me.
'What do I do then? If she comes to Forks, she wants to see me.'
'I'm afraid you can't keep her away. She desirves the chance to say goodbye to Charlie.'
'They I have to leave…'
My mother said it before I knew it. They were going to leave. Jacobs accident had convinced them that they coulnd't just go, not for me and not for Jacob. My mother couldn't do it. It didn't matter what was happening in Seattle, they would stay here. And now they were talking about leaving again. My mother looked determined. I didn't even know why, I didn't know what they were talking about. And I wouldn't leave, mother or no mother, I would stay here.
'Renesmee, you don't have a choice.' My dad started after he heard everything I thought.
'Listen, I'll explain.'
He walked over to me and sat next to me.
'Bella turned into a vampire at your birth, you know that. And you know her parents, or at least grandpa Charlie, doesn't really know what we are.'
I sighed. Yes, they made that clear to me. But grandpa Charlie wasn't here anymore…
'But that went well, right? Grandpa Charlie never found out. I just don't understand what the problem is!'
'Mommy's mother lives in Florida. Grandma hasn't seen her after her transformation. Her name is Renée, grandma Renée. But grandma Renée doesn't know that Bella became like this. And she isn't the same as grandpa Charlie. She wouldn't believe us that fast. And we can't put her in danger.'
'What are you trying to say?' I insisted. I still didn't understand.
'That if grandma Renée sees me, she would probably scream and demand us to tell the truth. And she can't know the truth.' My mother said. She sat on the couch, literally with her hands in her hair. I felt sorry for her. She wanted to protect her mother by not seeing her. That seemed horrible to me. I couldn't live without my mother, why did my mother had to live without hers?
I walked over to her and sat on her lap. I was far to big for that, but it felt good. She wrapped her arms around me.
'Just take a vacation then,' I whispered in her ear. 'Go away for a week or two and then come back.'
My mother sighed. I saw, at the lines in her forehead, that she was thinking.
'I don't know if I can do that. This place hurts too much. I think I really like going away for a while. And, my mother will only leave if she knows I won't come back, if everything of me is gone.'
Now it was my turn to sigh. She made her decision, and so did I.
'You know I'll stay here.' I said to her.
She pushed me closer to her, I put my head my head on her chest.
'I know.'
My mother said her goodbyes to Charlie in the past days, a sort of own funeral and my family made plans. And now it was almost time to go.
I turned around, with the two arms around me. I looked at Jacobs face. He was sleeping with his mouth open, not that charming, but really cute. I leaned to him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Slowly he woke up. When he realized where he was, he looked at me.
'That's a good way to wake up.' He said. He kissed me soft and tenderly.
For the umpteeth time this week I realised how happy I was with him. He was so sweet and I knew he would never hurt me. Not after everything that had happened. Everytime I looked at him I got jitters in my belly. And I knew that he was the one I wanted to share my life with.
I heard a soft know on the door, my father came in.
'Everyone is waiting for you, sleepyheads.'
He chuckled. I was already next to the bed with the wardrobe open. What outfit was right for something like this? I had no idea.
'Take your time, we won't leave without goodbyes. And Renesmee, you are pretty anyway.' My father walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my head. Then he gave me time to dress up. I decided to just go for an simple jeans, a loose shirt and a cardigan. I brushed my hair and put on my sneakers.
'Are you ready?' I asked Jacob. As if I had to ask. He only had to put on his short. But today, he put a shirt on for the occassoin. He walked over to me and hugged me.
'It's going to be okay.'
I sighed, I knew that. But it was so tensive to say goodbye to my family. I had never lived a day without them and now they left without me. Now I only had Jacob. Just for a second I doubted my decision. But then I felt his strong arms around me and I knew I was doing the right thing.
'Well, let's go.' I grabbed his hand and together we runned to the house of the Cullens. I had to hold in, because I runned faster, he was human. And he couldn't turn into a wolf, because of his rehabilitation.
I was shocked when I saw the house. It was empty. There was nothing left. Everything was gone. My family was there, with a lot of suitcases.
I sighed and look around again. This made everything very real.
It looked like my mother had arranged this. Because, as if someone let him know, Jasper stepped foward.
'Bye, sweet Renesmee.' He said. He did nothing else. He just stood before me. And he made me calm. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.
'Bye, sweet Jasper.' I whispered. Though I knew the whole room had heard.
After that came Alice, then Emmett, grandpa Carlisle, grandma Esme and then Rosalie. I saw she had a hard time with the fact she had to let me go. But she didn't followed the example of her family and walked past Jacob, as if he didn't exsist. The rest of the family said goodbye to him too. But I knew the relationship between Jacob and Rosalie wasn't good, at all.
And there was the big moment. I had to say goodbye to my parents. Untill now I felt empty inside. As if I didn't have emotions. That I had to say goodbye to my family did something to me, but I didn't feel it. I felt nothing. But the two most important people came right now.
With heavy feet my father walked over to me and looked at me. Right before me he stopt, first without doing anything. I looked at him, took everyting in. Every little detail I remembered. I never wanted to forget his face, I wanted to remind myself of his face whenever I wanted.
When I was sure I had everything, I leaned against him. He pulled me closer. My head layed on his shoulder. His scent I also remembered. I remembered everything about him, the best father in the world. Softly he kissed me on my forehead, as he had done so many times. But this would be the last time in a really long time. I wrapped my arms around him and pushed me closer to him.
'I'm really going to miss you, dad.' I cried. The empty feeling was gone, made place for the grief I missed. It wasn't a bad thing that I cried, it was good. I felt how much I cared about them, how much I was going to miss them. I knew how much I loved them again.
'I'm going to miss you too, love.' I heard my father say. It sounded like he had a lump in his throath.
We stood like that for a while. Untill I felt like it was okay. Then I let go.
My father walked over to Jacob to say goodbye to him. I just looked at my mother. She had her head down. She didn't walk over to me, she didn't do anything. At that moment I knew this was harder for her than for me.
Because she couldn't do anything, I walked over to her. I didn't really know what to do. She looked so fragile, as if she could fall apart of grief every second.
'Bella?' I heared my dad behind me. He walked over to my mom and put one arm around her.
And then I knew what to do. I put my hand on her cheek. I knew that my dad would look to what I was going to show my mother. I wanted them both to see it.
I showed my parents memories. Every memory I had of the past five years. Of my childhood, how everyone coddled me. My first steps, my first words, my first time hunting. Every good memory. Also the hard memories, like my meeting with the Volturi. And the time when I started puberty, when I was four. I was really transverse then. With a smile I showed them my frustrations of that time. They didn't make sense now. I remembered them that one time that we were in this big fight, because I wanted to to a normal school.
'But you're not a normal child, you're really special.' They told me.
I yelled at them, furious. 'I'm not special, I'm different, and I don't want to be! I want to be normal. Because different is shit!' And then I runned away, stomping. But within an hour I came back to apologize. Of course they couldn't help that I was like I was. And I could be proud of myself.
And that one time I didn't want to hunt. That I discontinued and didn't want to eat at all. My parents didn't know what to do anymore. They begged me to tell them why I didn't want to.
I told them: 'Jacob is a wolf, he is an animal. Then I can't kill animals. It's like I'm killing him.' Then I grabbed the nasty human food and eat it all. I thought it was disgusting, but I pretended like it was fine. I told them I would live on that. My dad reminded me, laughing, that Jacob hunted animals sometimed too. Then, I quickly forgot my anti-hunt idea.
I showed my parents every wonderful memory I had and every memory we would get. This was a goodbye, but is was not the end.
I showed them how much respect I had for them, how strong I thought they were. How brave. And that they would be my example. That I loved their way of life. And that I loved them.
Slowly, I dropped my hand. I looked at her.
'I love you so much, mom.' I told her.
'I love you more.' She said.
'I don't think that's possible.' I giggled. 'Let's call it a tie.'
She looked at me and at the same moment we laughed. Then I knew it was okay. No hard or emotional goodbye, that was not how it was supposed to be. Our goodbye should be cheerfull, just like our gathering. I was happy.
I hugged her and my father. We had a moment together, just the three of us. And when we were ready, we let go. It was okay like this.
'You are going to miss your plane.' I said. I looked at the rest of my family. They were ready to leave.
My mother gave me one last kiss and we looked each other in the eye. And then she grabbed her bags and they walked trough the door. Everyone waved at me and runned away. Exept for my parents, they stood still. I saw my mother struggled with leaving. She looked at me.
Then I felt the last tear on my cheek. I waved at my family. My mother looked at me once and runned away,
Then, the house really was empty, only Jacob and I were still here. He grabbed me.
'You're so strong and sweet. I love you.'
I looked at him and got a weird feeling in my stomach. As if the butterflies that lived there woke up when I looked at Jacob. They were going crazy now.
He grabbed my face and braught it to his. My lips were pressed to his soft satin lips. Kissing with Jacob was the best thing I had in life. And then I knew why we didn't say goodbye, why I stayed here. For him. The love of my life. For Jacob.
'Ness, are you finally ready?' I heard Jacob ask through the door. I stood in front of the mirror.
Physically I was ready. I slept well. I bought a special dress for this day, my hair was perfect, I did my make-up. Psysically I was totally ready. But mentally not. I didn't know if I could do this. I was scared about what I was going to do. I didn't expect to struggle so much with it. I didn't even knew what it was I was afraid of. Saying goodbye to grandpa wouldn't be as hard as saying goodbye to my mother. Why was I so scared? Why was this so hard?
'Ness?' Jacob asked again.
'One minute.' I awnsered.
'We have to go now or we're going to be late.' Jacob said.
I sighed. At this moment I wanted to pause te time. So that I could have one moment for myself. I grabbed the lipstick and smeared a tirth layer on my lips.
'We also have to pick up my dad.'
Since Jacob and I had this house together, Billy lived alone. He could take care of himself, he said. And he had the help of Emily, who was there daily.
Jacob came in the room.
'Ness, we really have to go.'
I looked at him. Ok, it was time now.
'Ok, let's go.' I walked passed him, took my coat from the peg and walked over to the car.
Billy was already waiting in front of the house. We could drive straight to the cemetery.
Jacob had his arm wrapped around me the whole time. Maybe this was even harder for him than for me. He knew Charlie better, longer. Especially Billy had a hard time. He lost all of his friend now. A few years ago Harry and now Charlie. I felt so sorry for him.
The funeral was nice. There were beautiful pictures, I picked them out with my mother. But now, on this big screen they looked different. More real. I wish she could have been here to see it. People said nice things about him. I cried on Jacobs shoulder, we supported each other. It was the funeral he would've wanted. It felt good, a proper goodbye.
At the cemetry he had a good spot. Everyone threw roses on the coffin. It was beautiful. After everyone left I stayed there, with Jacob. We didn't say anything, we just looked at the grave, the roses.
'I'm going to see how Billy is doing.' Jacob said after a while. He kissed me. 'Are you coming?'
I looked at him.
'Go ahead. I want to stay here for a little while.' He nodded and kissed me again. Then he walked away.
I looked at the grave. I was happy I had some time alone with Charlie. I grabbed the letter my mom wrote for him out of my bag. I opened it.
'Dear daddy.' I started. I promised my mother that I would read it out loud, if I was alone with him.
'Bella?' I heard a voice behind me. Shocked, I turned aroud. This was the moment I had been scared for, I just realised that. I looked into the eyes of the woman behind me and knew that it was my grandma. She fitted the descripting of my mother perfectly, but I felt it too. She looked like my mother, my grandma. She gave me the same feeling. I saw fear in her eyes when she looked at me. How long had it been since she had seen my mother? I looked like my mom. Maybe she thought I was Bella. But I couldn't let her know I knew Bella, she couldn't know who I was. I would not screw up the reason why my mother left.
'I'm sorry?' I asked her, as convincing as I could.
She looked at me. I tried to play my part as convincing as I could. I had to pretend I was an outsider.
'I'm not Bella.' I said quiet.
The woman who was my grandma, looked at me even more confused. She recognized me. Or, she recognized the Bella in me. She recognized the traits. I tried to act as indifferent as I could.
'Oh, sorry. You really look like my daughter. I would alsmost say you were her daughter.' I looked at her, tried not to look shocked. This was a normal reaction. Renee was my mothers mother. Of course she recognized her in me, that was normal. I laughed so that she would notice how shocked I was.
'She has to be here somewhere, my daughter. Her name is Bella. Do you know her?' My grandma asked me. I thought about it. Should I know her? Should the role I was playing know her?
'Yes, she is a really good friend of mine.' I said to my grandma.
'Is she here somewhere?' She asked hopefull.
I looked at her. Pity was already boss over me. I didn't want to hurt her.
'She, ehm, she doesn't live here anymore.' I admitted hesitantly.
I looked at my grandma. I saw how her grief hit her. The emotion in her eyes was clear. Slowly, there was a soft sobbing sound, it came from her side.
'I'm sorry.' She told me. 'I really expected her to be here. I haven't seen her in five years.'
I didn't know what to do. Something inside me yelled I had to run. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to comfort the poor woman. She stood at the grave of her ex-husband, where she expected to see her daughter. No daughter and no father. I wanted to tell her the truth, because I couldn't look at this grief. But I knew I had to control myself.
I walked over to her and wrapped my arm around her.
'I'm sorry. She moved a couple of days ago. She couldn't handle burrying her father. I'm really sorry.'
She looked down. I looked at her face. She looked older than my mother desribed. She had more lines.
There arose a wind, it blew around us. My arms got covered with a layer of goosebumps. It was a miracle it was dry. Suddenly I remembered the letter I was reading.
'I'm sorry, but I really have to do something.' I said quickly. I walked back to the grave. I didn't want to be rude, but I really had to do this.
'Can I ask you something?' My grandma asked. She grabbed my arm. I turned around. 'How is she? Is she still married to Edward? Is she happy?'
I looked at her. What was I supposed to say? Could I say she had a daughter? Or should I lie? I lied to her the whole time. But I didn't want to lie to her. She looked like such a sweet lady. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I was her granddaughter. I wanted so much….
But I couldn't, I promised my mother. I would lie whatever I said.
'She's fine, despite of her father dying. She had a good relationship with Charlie, it was hard to let him go. But despite of that, she's fine. She's still with Edward and she's happy.' I tried to tell it as happy as possible, it wasn't easy. The grief of the woman in front of me was easy to see, even for a normal human. It felt like she screamed out of hurt without opening her mouth.
'Thank you.' She mumbeled. She turned around, ready to go. I looked at her leaving.
'You're welcome.' I whispered. She probably didn't hear it. I wiped a tear from my face. I never planned the first meeting with my grandma like this. This wasn't like grandma Esme. The woman I just met was broken from grief. And that hurted me, so much…
I turned to the grace of Charlie. It didn't help to think about it all the time. My mother didn't want to see my grandma again, she would never know about my existence. And that was fine. I guess that happend a lot in the human world.
With shaking hands I unfolded the paper again.
'Dear daddy. I'm sorry I'm not here today, I just couldn't do it. But I love you so much, to the moon and back.'
I smiled at my mothers letter. I felt the same thing. I loved my mother, my father. I lover granda Charlie. And I loved Jacob. To the moon, along all the stars and back.