As he held the baby girl in his arms, Kaidan couldn't help but think of things that could have been. It had been 9 months since the battle to retake Earth, but to him it felt like years. So much death and pain, so much… darkness.
But they had done it.
They had beaten the Reapers. The world, the entire galaxy, was safe again. Work had started to rebuild Earth, Palaven, Thessia, the worlds worst hit by the Reaper forces. An envoy had even been sent to the few remaining Batarians offering them help to rebuild their home. Although the relations between Batarians and humans remained strained, their unexpected help on Earth and this new olive branch began to thaw some issues. They weren't on the same terms as Turians but at least they were getting somewhere.
And behind the scenes, scientists from all galactic races were combining their brain power to think of a new way to replace the now defunct Mass Relays.
Words Kaidan didn't understand, such as hyperspace and warp drives, had been whispered in corridors. A theory for now, but apparently they could travel between stars without the use of eezo. Which baffled most Engineers over this 'idea' that a valued resource could have no purpose in drive cores anymore. But the scientists remained excited, despite the clear reluctance of the people who actually had to build the crazy ideas.
All of it was a distant thought to him though, only one thought ever occupied his mind these days.
"What do you think Kaidan?"
Kaidan turned, the sleepy baby gurgled in his arms. He look at the exhausted women lying in the bed, the efforts of the past 6 hours bringing this little thing into the world was etched into deep lines on her face.
"I think she looks just like her Mum and Dad." He said softly, his eyes only grazing hers.
The women smiled. "You're avoiding the question Major"
Kaidan glanced down at the child, this soft little thing who had no idea what had been sacrificed to allow her to have a life. So much was given for her to have a first breath. He glanced back up.
"I don't know what to say" he managed.
The woman laughed. "Just say yes, it's not that hard"
He sighed "I'm not exactly a good role model."
She smiled "Kaidan, you will be an excellent Godfather to her. Me and Jacob completely agree on this. So stop worrying, you'll give yourself a migraine."
He reluctantly grinned before glancing down again.
"It would be wrong to be her Godfather when she doesn't have a… Godmother."
Brynn smiled sadly "She will always have a Godmother looking over her."
Kaidan sighed and looked out of the window. His eyes stared up at the stars, as tears began to well in his eyes. He glanced back over to Brynn
"It would be better if her Godmother was here, with us."
"Kaidan..." Brynn began but Kaidan interrupted.
"Shepard isn't dead. She's survived before, she, she just likes being dramatic that's all" Nobody could miss the slight tone of desperation to his voice.
He walked over and handed the child over to Brynn. The child gurgled at the movement but luckily didn't cry out. Kaidan was barely holding a migraine at bay, a crying baby may just push him over the edge. And the last thing he needed was to be out of action for a few hours when they were so many more important things to do.
"I'm not giving up hope, there's still hope. Miranda is a genius, plus she has help now"
Hope mixed in with the desperation now, some would say a fool's hope. But then again a woman who had defied death before proved how strong a force hope could be.
His breath hitched with a sob, as Brynn placed a comforting hand on his arm.
"Everything will be okay" She said softly. Kaidan looked at her, the tears shining in his eyes.
"I know they will, I just can't be without her that's all."
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Congrats on the baby girl Brynn. You should I would stay but I need to get going. You know… things to do. I haven't seen Joker in a while. And I need to check in on…"
Brynn spotted the hesitation "She will be fine. I don't think anything bad will happen to her. She has Vega guarding her, and Miranda is working hard. Plus Garrus said that he isn't letting her go that easy. He still owes her a shooting competition after she beat him last time." She smiled
Kaidan smiled weakly "Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. I just thought we'd have a place in Vancouver by now… looking out over English Bay" He shook his head.
"Nice seeing you Brynn, you take care now. I'll try and find where Jacob has gone. Plus you two need to sit down and think of a name for your daughter" He squeezed her shoulder before leaving the room.
Brynn watched him with sad eyes as he left the hospital room. The baby stirred in her arms, her fists curling up as the tears began.
"Don't worry little one. Everything will be okay"
She kissed her forehead before glancing out the window.
"Auntie Miranda is working on a another miracle" She whispered, as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Everything's gonna be okay"