Bewitched

Chapter 19

As soon as Gina left, Madame Zara showed me the room that I would be staying in. From the outside, the house only appeared to hold maybe one room, but from the inside, it looked like it could fit four. I wanted to ask Madame Zara about it, but maybe it was just me who thought that. I did not want her to think I was crazy and kick me out all ready.

She told me to ask her for anything I needed, and then she just closed the door behind her and left me alone. I wanted to start talking to Jesse...but what if she overheard me? Again, I did not want her to think I was insane. That would not be a good first impression, and would be a reason for her to throw me out of her home.

I decided to wait a few hours, when she was going to sleep. However, not even an hour later after she left me in there, she knocked on the door and I told her to come in. Then she proceeded to tell me that she was going to the market.

"Would you like to come with me?" she asked.

When my mother asked a question like that, I could instantly tell I had no choice, but when Madame Zara asked that, I knew I could choose whether I wanted to go or if I wanted to stay.

Politely, I declined. "Thank you for the offer, but I am not feeling too well from the journey here."

She nodded and smiled at me. "I hope you feel better, dear. I will bring something back for you."

"Oh, no. You do not have to do that. I do not wish to be a burden—"

"You are most certainly not a burden, Susannah. I actually like having you here. It gets quite lonely all by myself, at least, after Benjamin l—" she cut herself off and then started again. "Nevermind that. I will be back in a few hours."

I nodded, not daring to question her on who Benjamin was.

And then I was left alone. With Jesse. I could finally talk to him alone. I was not able to for the past twenty-four hours. He could talk to me, since no one else could hear him, but I could not say anything back, and that was really irritating me.

Jesse was in the corner of the room, just standing there. For some reason, the whole time he was with me since I escaped the jail, he has not sat at all. I guess, being a ghost and all, standing for a long time does not bother you. But it bothered me.

Jesse looked up when I turned to him. He gave me a lovely smile, one that I just melted at, and then he asked, in that concerned voice of his, "Are you all right?"

I smiled back at him, fully knowing that mine was not as magnificent as his was. "For now," I said. "I just hope this woman does not realize who I am."

"I do not think you have to worry about that, querida. I can tell this woman has a kind soul. It shows, just like yours does."

I blinked. "You can tell whether a person is good or bad?" I asked, confused. How was I not informed of this earlier?

He smiled kindly back at me with patience. "Mostly. Sometimes the aura can be a bit confusing to decipher, but for the most part, yes, I can."

"That is...very interesting." That was when I remembered something. "What about...what about Paul? Was he good or bad?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager to receive this bit of information.

Jesse stopped smiling. "He was one of the confusing ones," he muttered.

I decided to drop the subject. Obviously Jesse had a bit of a grudge against Paul.

I patted the spot next to me on the bed. Jesse seemed to hesitate before he came over and sat next to me. I questioned him on this and he sighed. "We are finally alone, querida, and I am afraid of how I would treat you knowing that no one would interrupt anytime soon."

"Oh."

He smiled. "But I can try and control myself for just a little while," he said softly.

I smiled back and said, a little seductively, "I do not mind it terribly when you treat me that way..."

But before he could get a word of objection in, I leaned into him and kissed him. He did not even hesitate, like he normally did when I initiated the kiss (probably thinking about whether it was right or not). He suckled on my bottom lip a little, and then deepened the kiss.

I fell back on the bed, Jesse falling with me, our lips still locked. He braced himself over me so he did not crush me with his weight.

To my complete dismay, I knew this would end soon. I knew once Jesse came to his senses, this would all come to an end. I did not want it to, but I knew it would.

So I enjoyed it while for the time being.

Jesse's hands slid down to my waist, tingling my skin even through the fabric of my dress. His legs were beside mine, the fabric of his pants rubbing against the revealed skin on my legs. A slightly surprising thought came to me then. I just wanted those pants of his off.

His hand had worked its way up my dress—still on the outside of it—and cupped my breast through the dress. Even so, I could feel a certain area of my chest responding—and I'm pretty sure Jesse could, too, if the smile I could feel against my lips was anything to go by.

Jesse tore his lips away from mine so suddenly that I thought he had realized what he was doing. But he did not, as I soon realized, when he started kissing all down my throat, then my collarbone, and then to anything my dress did not cover on my dress. And considering the low-cut dress I had on—which was the fashion nowadays, and my mother made sure I had the most fashionable dresses around, despite the costs—that was quite a bit.

I had not realized how much pleasure a single pair of lips could bring to one person until then. It was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life, and while I knew it was wrong on so many levels, I just did not want him to stop doing what he was doing.

He then started untying the laces that held my dress together in the front. Of course, underneath that was pretty much nothing, since I had been in my underclothes when they brought me to the jail. The reason why I was wearing a dress was because Gina had lent me one when I was at her father's cottage.

He finished untying the laces and slowly pushed apart the pieces of fabric. I was not completely exposed to him, but the fabric underneath was quite almost transparent, if I may say. So when he moved those pieces of my dress apart...well, lets just say I might as well have been wearing nothing underneath.

He let out a noise then that I had never heard from him before. It sounded almost like a growl. Then, without any more hesitation, he leaned down and kissed me again, this time on the lips. His tongue delved into my mouth and met with mine, intertwining with it, making me moan in pleasure even more, especially when those lovely callused hands of his started roaming over my almost exposed chest.

"Jesse," I gasped out—my voice nearly unrecognizable to my own ears—as his hands brushed over my breasts. It was...I cannot even think of a word to describe the feeling.

And then, just like that, it was all over. I guess my saying his name brought him out of the trance he was in. I mentally kicked myself—why did I have to say something?

The look on Jesse's face when he pulled away from me—and moved so he was sitting on the end of the bed, away from me, but still facing me—was truly a horrible one. I felt bad myself, because I could tell he was beating himself up over the way he treated me.

"Oh, Susannah," he said remorsefully. "Oh, dios, I am so sorry. I cannot believe that I just—please forgive me, querida, for being so forward."

Instead of telling him to be quiet, like I would normally do, I smiled up at him and said, "What's there to forgive? I cannot forgive you for something that I did not mind."

He opened his mouth to say something, then I guess what I said finally registered. "You...you enjoyed that?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, of course I did, Jesse. It was...well, anyway, yes, I did. And I know you did, too, so do not deny that." He did not seem like he would, anyway, but I knew he would think of an excuse to make it seem wrong.

"But Susannah...it is wrong. Very wrong." He groaned. "We cannot do something like that outside of wedlock, Susannah."

"Jesse, we'll never be able to do that in wedlock! Don't you see that? We can never get married. So I really do not see why we cannot do this."

He did not look swayed in the least bit. "Then that is precisely why you should not be with me. I can never give you what you truly need, Susannah."

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. Why does he have to be this way? Can he not just be selfish for one moment in his life—or, well, afterlife—and just have me?

"I already have what I need! I don't need marriage or kids to make me happy, Jesse! All I need is you!"

He looked away from me after I made that statement. "I find that hard to believe," he said, almost inaudibly.

I moved closer to him on the bed so that I could take his hand in mine. "Jesse," I said in the softest voice I could muster, "its true. Completely and utterly true. There is nothing you can do to change the way I feel about you."

He turned his head and looked at me, those dark eyes of his focused on my green ones. "Why?" I knew what he was asking. Not why could I not change the way I felt about him, but why I felt that about him in the first place.

I smiled warmly and placed my other hand on his cheek. "Because you are the most caring, sincere, loving man that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You never act with your own well being in mind, but everyone else's." And then I leaned in to kiss him, my hand never leaving his oddly warm one.

The kiss was not like the ones we were sharing earlier. It was softer, more sensual. It was a perfect kiss and it did not end like the other ones had.

I pulled away after about a minute and leaned my forehead against his. "And also," I added with a smile, "you are the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on."

I felt, rather than saw, Jesse flush—it was oddly comforting, seeing him blush, instead of it being me. Then he smiled and kissed me quickly.

"And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on."

Then it was my turn to blush.

I pulled away from him and lay down on the bed, resting my head on the feather-filled pillow. Jesse followed suit, wrapping his strong arms around me and kissing my hair.

It felt so good to just lay like that with him, not really having to worry about anything, like I had been for the whole time I had known him. Even when I was still in my own home, we did not lay like this together. I guess my having been convicted and then escaping loosened him up a little.

Jesse kissed my hair again as I felt my eyelids drifting closed. "Sleep, now, querida. You need it." And that was the last thing I remember before drifting off.

- § -

When I awoke Jesse was still there. Somehow, I thought he would leave in the middle of my nap. He was too good to be true. Sure, he was not exactly alive, but that did not matter to me in the least. I knew it was he who would get me through this dilemma. I had faith in that, at least.

Jesse, sensing that I had awoken, tightened his grip around me and kissed my hair. Smiling, I tilted my head back to meet his. We kissed briefly—it was not anything special, like the night before was.

Then Jesse pulled away and said, regretfully, "I have to go see Father Dominic right now. I promised him that I would come earlier with news of our arrival, but that...well, I was distracted."

I grinned at his obvious embarrassment over our intimacy last night. I did not want him to leave, but he looked so adorable blushing that I could not help but smile. "But it was a good distraction," I said.

Jesse nodded and chuckled, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Yes, it was," he said and smiled at me. Then he sighed. "Alright. I must go. I shall be back soon."

I nodded. "I will be waiting."

He smiled one last time and disappeared.

I sighed and fell back on the bed, resting my eyes again briefly. Briefly did not even seem like enough time for how long I closed my eyes, for almost as soon as Jesse left, Madame Zara came in with a slight smile on her face.

I was so shocked that I nearly fell off the bed.

She smiled at me and came to sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "He is gone, correct?"

I blinked at her. Was she talking about...? No, she could not be. How could she...?

"Who?" I settled for asking.

"Your lover," she replied. Then, seeing that I was hesitant to reply, she added, "Your ghost."

My eyes widened and I could see her confident smile. "You can—you can—"

She shook her head. "No, I cannot see the dead. However, I can sense them. Sometimes I can even hear them, but that is very rarely."

"Oh," I said, still quite shocked. "Did you...hear him?" I asked hesitantly.

She smiled a little, then replied, "No. But I could sense him...and his feelings. It is very obvious that he loves you." She hesitated. "He is gone, then?"

I nodded and asked, "Why?"

She smiled confidentially. "I need to discuss something with you." When I nodded she continued. "You absolutely love this man, correct? There would be no other man whom you love so much?"

I was confused by the questions she was suddenly asking me. Why was she asking them? Nevertheless, I answered her, "Yes."

"Good," she said with a smile.

Good? What was that supposed to mean?

Then she said, which completely threw me off guard, "You, Susannah, will only have one love for all of eternity. Now, I am sure you can guess who that love is."

And then, in the blink of an eye, she was up and off the bed, shutting the door softly behind her.

What was that all about?

Shaking my head, I lay back down on the bed and waited for Jesse to come back. I needed to discuss this with him. Thinking about it made my head hurt.

It was only a moment later that Jesse returned, smiling warmly at me. Then, seeing that I was not smiling back, he asked worriedly, "Susannah, what is wrong?"

Well, I didn't really like the ending to this chapter, I must say. I tried so hard to make it decent, but i know it probably looks like crap. I just didn't know how to go around with Madame Zara's character. Anyway, please review. Lots of them are welcome. : )

-Nicole