The doctor shifted in her seat as she watched Gabriella seated in the brown chair. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," Gabriella opened her eyes. The weight rolled off her shoulders as she rolled her head a little.
"So tell me about your friends." The doctor said with a smile. "It sounds like you've made quite a few.
Gabriella nodded. "I think." She said with a shrug in a low voice. "I mean with Taylor back in the room it feels different, Sharpay's around a lot more and Kelsi I hang out from time to time to study."
"What about your old friends?" she said with a friendly smile. "The ones from Stanford, what were they like before the incident?"
Gabriella was quite as she thought about her entire life before the incident. Before any of this had happen she'd been naïve about life, clueless to the dangers that lurked in the night and confident in her own self preservation. Gabriella let out a sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Today was the first day in a long while she actually wore it down. Baby steps.
"Did you guys go out in groups often?" The doctor asked when Gabriella hadn't responded.
"We were in school actives I guess," Gabriella said as her eyes jerk to the stain in the carpet. "I hung out with my roommate a lot and I went on the occasional date."
"Would you consider yourself to be a highly social person or a happy medium?" The doctor asked adjusting the paper in her lap.
"Well put that way wouldn't every one want to be the happy medium?" Gabriella asked with a frown.
"Why do you think that is?" The doctors facial features shifted, portraying that uninterested but interested in what someone else had to say expression.
"I guess because no one wants to be a loner and no one wants to be most popular." Gabriella said as she leaned back in her chair, "Mostly because both ends of the spectrum are exactly the same with a slight difference."
"And what is that difference to you?"
"Being alone in a crowd is just the coward way out for being alone on their own." Gabriella nodded slightly, "When you're a happy medium you're alone but you don't always have to be alone… alone." She said with a half hearted shrug.
"So the take home point is that no matter what everyone alone?" The doctor asked with a raised brow. "What about lovers, siblings, friends, what about you?" The doctor leaned forward a bit. "Why do you feel alone?"
Gabriella brought one of her knees up onto the brown couch hugging it close to her chest as she thought about it. Her fingers sliding down to her ankles were she began to play with the rim of her sock. "I'm alone because I'm the only one like me?" she said looking up to meet the doctor's eyes. "I don't really run into other rape victims on a daily bias." She said looking back down at her sock. "Or talk to people who have attempted suicide." Gabriella fingers twisted in the sock. "I don't see other teenage girls with scars along their stomachs and taking about 7 to 8 pills daily just to function."
The doctor leaned back taking the 19 year old girl sitting before her. "Gabriella," she said softly. "You're not alone; there are support groups full of people who have been through all the same things as you and talking about it helps." She pleaded, "It might not seem to be that way but if you give it time it can help you."
Gabriella rolled her eyes as she let out a breath. "I've been to support groups. I've done the "my name is" thing." Gabriella's leg fell from the couch. "That's what triggered the attempts," Gabriella let out of frustration as she shoved her hands in her hair. "I don't want to know that there are people out there who suffer worst than I do, I don't want to listen to stories that make me proud to have only gone through what I had to, and I don't want to feel guilty for belittling someone else's pain because compared to what I went though, they got lucky." Gabriella squeezed her eyes shut as she slowly rocked back and forth. "You don't understand what its like," A sob escaped her as spoke, her chest heaved as she her lips trembled. "I am alone. Because I'm the only one in here." She said between clenched teeth tapping a finger against the side of her temple.
There was silence in the room as both women sat quietly. The doctor let out a sigh as she wiped a small tear from the side of her cheek. In an effort to busy herself she straightens up the file in front of her hand and took a deep breath. Her hands shaking as she laid them down flat against the folder.